Dear Trixie,

Mahirap mag-adjust kapag lumipat ka sa ibang lugar. Syempre, may iba't ibang degree 'yan. Kapag sa kabilang kwarto lang ang lilipatan mo, minor adjustment lang. Kapag naman sa ibang bahay, depende rin. Kung sa ibang town, city or whatever, ay mahirap 'yan. Major adjustment na 'yan. Marami kang maiiwan: 'yung school mo na doon ka na since kinder, 'yung classmates mo, friends, marahil pati family members, 'yung paborito mong park na pinupuntahan, 'yung paborito mong court na pinaglalaruan, 'yung bahay mismo na sobra mong mahal kasi doon ka na lumaki at doon mo na naitala ang height mo every year, 'yung kwarto mo na nagsilbing haven mo, 'yung unan mo na nagsilbing taga-absorb ng luha every night... marami. Sa ibang siyudad lang 'yan. Paano pa sa ibang bansa? Baka maiwan mo rin sa bansang pinanggalingan mo ang sarili mo...

But that's okay. Sabi nga nila, it's not always bad being lost, because maybe that's the time you'll find yourself. Well, now I tell you -- I hope you find yourself. Do yourself a favor and finish studying. Abutin mo ang pangarap mo. Don't give up, they say. Mahirap gawin pero sana magawa mo.

Hang in there, friend.

Tumigil ako sa pagsulat nung may narinig akong kumatok.

"It's time for breakfast, Miss Lakewood," said probably one of my dad's maids.

"Not hungry," reply ko. Nag-isip pa ako ng mga maaari kong sabihin sa aking long lost friend. Ngayon lang ulit kami magkikita. Well, hopefully, makita ko na siya. "Go away. Please," dugtong ko nung feeling ko nakatayo pa rin 'yung maid sa labas ng kwarto ko.

"Miss, it's an order from Master."

"You mean, my dad?"

"Yes, Miss."

I hope you get along with your dad, by the way. My dad just forced me to go with him here in some Plant City, and now he has all the guts to order me around, sulat ko bago ako tumayo at binuksan 'yung pinto. Sinamaan ko ng tingin 'yung maid.

"Your job is to follow orders?" tanong ko sa kanya na tuwid na nakatayo, nakalagay ang nakakuyom niyang mga palad sa harap niya, at naka-chin up. Dahan-dahan siyang tumango. "Well, you can take orders from me, right?"

"Of course, Miss."

"I don't want to eat and I don't want you here. So go away." Pumasok ako ulit sa loob ng kwarto ko at sinarado ang pinto.

I hope you don't hate your life as much as I do.

Nag-ready na ako sa pagpasok sa school. I just wore the first clothing I grabbed at tinawag si Butler para ihatid ako palabas ng bahay ng tatay ko. Or may I say, mansyon. Nagpahatid na rin ako papuntang school dahil baka mawala pa ako ngayong first day.

–×–

"What are you doing here? Didn't you know that you should line up in the gymnasium?" tanong nung isang babaeng naka-formal attire sa 'kin habang naglalakad ako sa loob ng Winchester Middle School.

"I don't know where that is."

"So you're new?" Duh. Sinuri niya ako ng tingin. "Call me Glinda. Or if you prefer Principal then go ahead. Students must line up inside the gymnasium located at the east side of Building D before classes start. That is, before 7:45 AM. Is that clear, Miss..."

"Lakewood."

"Miss Lakewood," nag-nod siya saglit pagkatapos banggitin ang pangalan ko. "I presume you're daughter of Terrence Lakewood?"

"So he's popular here."

"Your family is rich, Miss Lakewood." Like I didn't know that, Principal. "Kinda strange to see you here in a public school," she paused before continuing, "well then, follow me, Miss Lakewood. I will personally walk you to the gym."

"You don't have to, really, Principal Glinda." Yeah, lalo na kung nagpapa-good shot ka lang kasi anak ako ng isang sikat at mayamang tao. Tss. Nauna siyang maglakad kaya natural sumunod ako sa kanya.

"No, it's okay, Miss Lakewood."

Hinatid niya nga ako at ngayon, andito na ako sa loob ng room. Umupo ako sa pinakalikod at pinakadulong upuan. Kinuha ko ang libro na "Gathering Blue" sa backpack ko. Kakatapos ko lang ng Book 1 kaya I'm sort of excited to read this.

"Hello there. Newbie?" inangat ko ang tingin ko sa nagsalita. Kulay dilaw ang buhok niya at kulay blue ang mata. Naka-chin up rin siya habang nakangiti nang malawak. Di ako sumagot. "Mind if I sit here beside you?" Di ako ulit sumagot. I just stared at him. "I hope you don't," nag-smirk siya at nilagay ang bag niya sa tabi ko bago umupo. Tumagilid siya at humarap sa 'kin. "Name's Owen Anderson. I really like beautiful girls like you. I've never seen you before so I guess you're a newbie. Right?" Wala akong ginawa kundi titigan siya. Kumunot 'yung noo niya. "Are you that much attracted? What's your name?" pero ngayon, parang gusto kong burahin 'yung nakakairitang ngiti sa mukha niya.

"Her name is Beatrix Alyssa Lakewood and she's obviously not attracted to you. Now, if you may, please get out of my seat, Owen Anderson." Agad na nakuha ng bagong nagsalita ang atensyon ko. Ang siga niya ha, wala naman sa hitsura na kaya niyang patumbahin si Owen. Malaki ang katawan ni Owen, di katulad ng kanya na parang isang pitik lang titiklop na. But his look is intimidating.

Tiningnan ko ang reaksyon ni Owen at prenteng nakangisi lang 'to. "Why would I do that... uh, what's your name again?"

Narinig kong nagbulong-bulungan 'yung mga babae sa harapan. Di ko ma-gets 'yung mga pinagsasabi nila. About sa bully na si Jay-seen-tow, something something. 'Yung girl daw na si Chelsea, binully niya nung fifth grade. Tinapon niya daw 'yung pagkain nito kaya di daw nakapag-lunch si Chelsea kaya na-ulcer tapos na-clinic. Stupidity! Bakit hindi na lang bumili ng bagong pagkain? Ay nako, bakit ba kasi ako nakikinig? Para kasing tanga, bulungan pero ang lakas naman. Oh well. Nagsimula lang silang magbulungan (nang malakas) nung pumunta si guy-na-isang-pitik-na-lang-pero-intimidating-ang-tingin dito. He must be Jay-seen-tow then. Bully pala siya. Isang-pitik-na-lang na bully? Weird.

"We're classmates last year in Math, Science, PE and Arts. Don't act as if you don't me. Now get lost," malamig na tugon ni Jay-seen-tow kuno.

"Who are you? Are you the Principal's son or something?" may halong pang-aasar sa tono ni Owen.

"No. So what?"

"Then we're all normal students here with equal normal-student rights! We can sit wherever we want to. Unless, you're not a normal student..." Owen trailed off. Iniwas ko na lang ang tingin sa kanila. Parang mga babae kung mag-away. Magbigayan na lang kaya kayo, mga dudes?

"That is where I want to sit." So anong pinaglalaban mo, Jay-seen-tow?

"And can't you see that I'm already sitting here? Go find another seat, douchebag." Nilagay ko ulit ang libro sa loob ng bag ko at tumayo. Nakakahiya naman sa kanila, ako na lang mag-aadjust. Para masanay naman akong mag-adjust.

"No, stay there," hinawakan ako ni Jay-seen-tow sa braso.

"If you want, you can just sit in my seat. I'll just find another," sabi ko sa kanya. Utang na loob, gusto ko lang naman ng katahimikan.

Nanlaki ang mata ko nung tumayo rin si Owen. "I'll sit beside wherever you're sitting." Ang sarap naman i-untog ang sarili ko sa pader. Pwede ba, dudes? Ano bang problema natin?

Mabilis na nilagay ni Jay-seen-tow ang backpack niya sa upuan ni Owen. Hinarap niya si Owen. Okay, sa tangkad lamang naman siya. Nag-smirk siya dito. "You go find another seat. Douchebag," pagtulad niya sa sinabi ni Owen at hinigit ulit ako sa braso. Pinaupo niya ako sa upuan ko talaga at siya ang umupo sa upuan ni Owen.

"What the--" naputol ang pagsigaw ni Owen ng isang pagtikhim. Lumingon ang lalaki sa likuran niya. A lady in late 20's or early 30's is standing behind him. Kanina pa ba siya andun?

"What's going on here?" simple pero may diin na sabi nung babae. She's obviously a teacher. Baka teacher ng first period? Kinuha ko ang schedule ko sa bag. Uh-huh, teacher ng pinaka-paborito kong subject... sa kabaligtaran.

"Oh it's you Miss Sheila!" parang natatarantang sabi ni Owen.

"Yeah, it's me!" masiglang sabi ni Miss Sheila. Pero agad ring sumeryoso ang mukha nito. "Now, what's going on?"

"He called me a douchebag, Miss Sheila," sagot ni Jay-seen-tow.

Lumaki ang mata ni Miss Sheila tapos pinanlisikan niya ng tingin si Owen. "What did you say, Mr. Anderson?"

"But he called me that too, Miss Sheila!" Owen shouted in defense.

Bumaling si Miss Sheila kay Jay-seen-tow. "You also said that?"

"Yeah. But he said that first and he took my seat," pagdadahilan naman ni Jay-seen-tow. Parang mga Grade 1, nakakabwiset.

"Why did you take his seat, Mr. Anderson?" baling naman ni Miss kay Owen.

Lumalawak na rin ang audience namin. Yes, namin. Apparently, damay ako kahit na ang gusto ko lang naman ay masimulan na ang "Gathering Blue". At ngayon di ko na nagawa kasi may away tungkol sa lecheng seat na 'yan at andito na ang first period teacher kaya di na talaga ako makakapagbasa. Bwiset talaga.

"Oh why are you taking his side, Miss Sheila? I sat on that seat first!"

"I'm not taking sides and I don't care who sat there first. But you two are causing quite a commotion here. You already ate up 3 minutes of my time, and now I only have 42 minutes left. You don't want a detention on the first day of school, do you?"

"No!" mabilis na sagot ni Owen.

"How about you? Want a detention? Your mother won't be glad about this," sabi ni Miss Sheila kay Jay-seen-tow.

"Of course not," reply ni Jay-seen-tow. Ganito ba talaga mga tao dito sa Florida? Mukhang di ata maganda ang make-kwento ko sa long lost friend ko.

"Well then, why are you fighting? What are you fighting about?" Di makasagot si Owen at Jay-seen-tow. Wala kayong masabi ngayon?

"That girl, Ma'am. The newbie sitting beside Kiefer." Tumingin ako sa direksyon ng sumagot. Nakangiti ito at halos di na makita ang mata niya. Who the hell is Kiefer?

"What? You're fighting over a girl?" tanong ni Miss Sheila. Dumapo ang tingin niya sa 'kin.

"I want to sit beside her!" parang batang sabi ni Owen. Nagtawanan 'yung mga taong nanonood sa 'min at kinantyaw-kantyaw siya.

"Same reason," sabi naman ni Jay-seen-tow. I almost rolled my eyes. 'Yun ang rason? Kebabaw naman po pala.

Di inaalis ni Miss Sheila ang tingin sa 'kin. Medyo nakakailang ha. Nagulat na lang ako nung ngumiti siya. Hindi ito ordinaryong ngiti. Parang may something, may meaning. Di ko nga lang alam 'yung meaning. "Every student in this school has a right. Especially, girls. Girls have more rights than boys, remember that, my dear students." Tumawa si Miss Sheila. Sumang-ayon ang mga girls at umangal naman 'yung mga boys. "Shut up! That's how things should go." Ngumiti ulit siya sa 'kin bago pumunta sa harapan.

"Girl wants to sit there, let her sit there. Current guy sitting beside her... sits beside her. Guy who is standing take your seat," pagpatuloy ni Miss.

"What?! What the hell is that?!" malakas na sigaw ni Owen.

"Guy standing doesn't want detention, guy standing follows teacher. That's how things should go. New girl, that's how Winchester Middle School goes," tumingin ulit sa 'kin si Miss, "detention here is not easy. Well, they vary. There is an hour-long detention after class. You do nothing in those 60 minutes but sulk. There is also a weekend detention. There is detention where you'll do school service. It depends on the teacher. My students here last year knew what I ask them when they get detention. I'm sure you knew that, Mr. Anderson?"

Padabog na kinuha ni Owen ang bag niya na nilapag ni Jay-seen-tow sa sahig at umupo sa tabi ng isang girl na naka-pig tails.

Ngumiti si Miss Sheila. Victory smile, I guess. "New girl, call me Miss Sheila. How about you? What should we call you?"

Lumingon sa 'kin si Jay-seen-tow. Nginisian niya ako. Natutuwa ka? Pwes, ako, di ako natutuwa sa 'yo.

Nga pala, kilala ako ng taong 'to. Paano? Bago lang ako dito. Sikat si Dad, okay, pero ngayon lang ako nakapunta dito. Paano niya nalaman ang pangalan ko? Siya na lang kaya ang mag-introduce sa 'kin?

"Just stand in your place and say your name. Hurry, there are only 37 minutes left."

Tumayo ako gaya ng sinabi niya. Who knows what this woman gives for detention. "Beatrix Alyssa Lakewood," sinabi ko ang pangalan ko gaya rin ng sinabi niya.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Beatrix. You must be the daughter of Mr. Terrence Lakewood. Am I correct?"

"Yes." Kainis naman. Bakit ba laging nasasabit ang pangalan ng tatay ko tuwing nagpapakilala ako?

"Interesting. Which school did you come from, by the way?"

Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. Tiningnan ko ang sari-saring matang nakatingin sa 'kin.

"Well? 36 minutes."

"Like you know my school," di ko mapigilang bulalas.

"Of course we don't, you haven't told us yet."

Pumikit ako nang mariin. I don't know, maybe to calm myself? To stop my tears from flowing? "It's back in the Philippines. You don't know it," I said then I sat back down.

I hope you don't feel what I'm feeling right now, I continued writing to my long lost friend. Who cares about what Miss Sheila is writing on the board? Right now, I feel angry and sad and lost and I can't explain. I don't want you to feel this way. I want you to be happy. I want you to reach your dreams in life.

"What are you doing?" rinig kong sabi ni Jay-seen-tow.

Natigilan ako sa pagsulat. "Something that's not your business."

"You should be listening."

"You don't care."

"I care. This is Math we're talking about. Are you good in Math?"

"And if I'm not, so what?" Ayoko ng Math, kaya nga ako di nakikinig eh.

"If you're not, you should really listen, don't you think?"

Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong sigawan siya dahil una, di naman masama ang intensyon niya, pangalawa, may point naman siya at pangatlo, baka ma-detention pa 'ko. "No."

"You should."

Huminga ako nang malalim. "Even if I listen, I won't understand it. Math is too complicated. Just like life." What the? Bakit ko siya sinabihan ng ganun?

He laughed softly. "I know."

Binalot kami ng katahimikan. It seems like Miss Sheila asked a question and she's waiting for someone to answer.

"Hey, how about if I teach you?" tumingin ako sa kanya at naka-poker face lang siyang nakatingin din sa 'kin.

Umiwas agad ako ng tingin at pasimpleng umikot ang mata ko. "Whatever."

"Okay, it's set then. I'll teach you." Lumingon ulit ako sa kanya and this time, nakangiti na siya nang very slight. Sabi ko nga sa 'yo, whatever. I don't care. And I don't know... I really don't know...

Binasa ko ang sulat na sinulat ko. Ang kapal ko naman. Pinayuhan ko ang long lost friend ko eh ganun din naman ako. Ewan ko, nababaliw na ata ako.

PS. To be honest, I don't know why I'm writing this letter. I will just mail this to myself, anyway.

Love,

Your long lost friend

***

Nga pala, happy undas! Joke. Happy Valentine's day! Or whatever you may call it (araw ng patay, single appreciation day, ampalaya day, etc), Valentine's day pa rin. Huwag na po tayong bitter. Araw ng mga puso ngayon at lahat tayo may puso so pwede ba? Char. ♡

Btw, this chapter is dedicated to my bes @solarwei (thanks sa cover, beshy! mwa)

- Lyan