It's officially been three days since the old bat's death, and honestly I'm doing AWESOME.  I've been on errand duty with mom so whenever she needs something done I have to do it. I've passed by the Frau house at least six times and my body is dry, bruise free, scratch free, and my head is clear of unfortunate events.

Usually Frau would've thrown pots, rocks, and anything possible at me whenever I passed. But now that she's passed, I'm free of her terror!

And it's not just me. The whole neighborhood is brighter. Kids ride their bikes down the street safely without the threat of being knocked in the helmet with her cane. Parents are much less worried about their children's well-being and are free to let them play outside. The sun is free to shine whenever it pleases without an ancient devil hissing at it.

The world is a better place.

I'm still grounded though.

Mom was completely furious that day when I pretty much celebrated Frau's death. And I mean, I can see why she was pissed. All of our friends and neighbours were there, and they probably all thought her son was some kind of evil creature.

Hah, this reminds me of that Halloween when she had to clarify to the entire town I wasn't some kind of devil worshipper. I tried to go as a shadow and wore all black along with her eyeliner and stuff. Nic had told me there was a costume party at the church, so I ran in costume and all and screamed "HEEEEEEERE'S WALTY!!!".

Yeah, didn't go so well for little Patrick's baptism. The county was *this* close to setting me aflame at a stake to ban the evil spirits.

Anyway, I'm in my room. Staring out the window mournfully. Suddenly my phone begins to blare an Alvin and the Chipmunks version of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson. This tells me Loki is calling.

"Hello?"

"Yo Walter come to the park quick!"

"Why?"

"Two chicks started making out!"

"Annnd? Dude we had like nine lesbian couples at our school, chill out."

"But this is Nina Goldstein and Judith Lovelin!"

I almost dropped my phone.

"Th-the nudist ones?!"

"Yeah!"

"I'm on my way. "

I hung up and began combing my hair with one hand and sliding my feet into some sandles. I raced down the stairs and had a hand on the door before my mom called out to me.

"And where do you think your going?"

"The park?" I sheepishly answered.

"Why?"

"Because... because I feel like experiencing nature in its pure, hot, and natural state will do good for nny insensitive ways! To see a beautiful world untouched by any man in its purest, hottest form."

She rolls her eyes and tells me to be back in half an hour. I almost cried with joy!

I snatched up my skateboard and was at the park in about six minutes. Getting there, just as Loki had said, there was a butt naked lesbian couple sitting on a bench enjoying each other's company. There were at least twenty other onlookers surrounding the park,  90% of them male.

I high fived Loki without taking my eyes off the rare and glorious scene before me. Just as hands began to creep lower and lower, the MAN had to show up and soil the fun.

A policeman walked up to Nina Goldstein and tapped her on the shoulder with his gloved hand.

"Miss, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. There have been complaints."

My heart, literally, feels like it's been set on fire. What kind of low life son of a bitch would ruin a scene as beautiful as this?! Who could be so cruel as to-

"Finally, that's over."

I spun around in the direction of the voice and had to restrain myself from strangling the culprit.

None other than Fiona Mayfill.

"Oh so that's how it is? We break up and you decide to crush my hopes and dreams? How cruel can you be?!" I cry, falling to my knees while Nina and Judith are escorted off the premises.

Fiona rolls her eyes and begins monologing her evil plan to rid me of all the things I love. I'm not going to share it because I'm too distressed.

That and I wasn't listening.

I know onlookers probably think I'm being really dramatic, but when will a scene like that happen again?! The only two actively nudist lesbians in town engaging in PDA a block from my house! I felt Loki clamp a hand on my shoulder. This was the guy way of saying "Yeah, this sucks. Sorry man.".

I shrugged him off and began to trudge home along with about 25 other depressed and no longer aroused men, including Loki.

Today surely wasn't a good day. I think I'll go home and lock myself in my locked room/fortress of solitude.