Demons...

Creatures of darkness often spoken of in myths and despised by children of the creator, malicious beings with a thirst for mankind's destruction, containing untold power to--

"Hello, can I get a Whopper?"

One of my eyes twitched as the already permanent frown on my face somewhat deepened. Taking a deep breath and resisting the urge to rip the mortal's spine out, I said, "Sir, this...IS MCDONALDS!"

"Oi! Rookie, what did I say about yelling at the customers?!"

I growled as my eyes flashed between pitch black and the brown-eyed human contacts I was given. Stupid manager, stupid drive-thru, stupid minimum wage, and DAMN THIS FLIMSY ASS ECONOMY!

I swear when this is over, I will burn these fools to a crisp...

. . . After I get a bacon cheeseburger for Charles before he eats my sofa...AGAIN.

You know, I figured being a demon and all, it would be okay to make mistakes. After all, perfection was often seen as an angelic trait, so we stayed far away from such standards, even though we still use it in our vocabulary. Then again, all of us weren't born as angels; we didn't break through the flames of Hell radiating in golden light with wings white as a cloud. No, it was more like how the humans exaggerated a living revenant clawing itself out of its grave with limbs twisting and flesh falling away like butter on a hot pan.

Except more screaming and less moaning. Unless you're either an Incubus or Succubus. In that case, there's ALWAYS moaning.

But anywho, you're wondering who the heaven I am and why I'm working at a McDonald's. First of all, Judge all you want, but I know you people have been there! It's not like this house of obesity was my first choice. Second of all, I've been working at this place for four months, and I still don't understand how some humans can ask for certain meals that exist at other restaurants? With all this free education you have in America, it's certainly not paying off.

Back to the main topic at hand. I'm a demon from Hell that was sent to earth as punishment. I was allowed to keep three abilities for my human form: Super strength, Shapeshifting, and Telepathy. The rest of my abilities and powers were taken from me until I'm allowed to return. What did I do that was so bad that Lucifer decided to kick my unholy ass out of hell?

Well, ...it's none of ya' business.

"Hey, Rookie you can go on ahead, I can lock up for tonight," one of my--ugh, coworkers said. "Are you sure, Maria? I don't want David breathing down your neck for letting me leave early," I asked. No, I honestly don't give a shit about her. She's not worth associating with or killing. She's just a side character that I'll forget once I return home, although...her soul does smell really tasty...

"Yeah, it's no biggie. Besides, I kind of want to borrow the free Wi-Fi here for a bit so I can finish my assignments for class."

I shrugged while grabbing my bag and heading for the door. "Alright. Night, Maria,"

"See you next week!"

The walk home was something I was already used to. It's those kinds of things where you memorize something to the point your brain already knows where to go. For the last six months, I've memorized the smell of gas, alcohol, and the scent of sexual arousal. Then again, two demons I considered as...friends had that scent, so I guess it's not really anything new.

I pulled my keys out of my pocket as I approached the door and-- "Fuck! My biscuits!" a voice shouted over the sound of an alarm going off. I growled and quickly unlocked the door. "Charles you stupid fuck! What did you do this time?" I asked while marching inside only to get knocked down by a dog. My face was pelted with dog saliva as I tried to push the animal off of me. "Oh, shit--Molly chill! That's my bitch you're slobbering,"

"Um, rude much?" I hissed as I managed to get the dog off me. I sat up and wiped the slobber off. I took a glance around my living room and found canines lounging around. "Charles....What the fuck is this shit?" I demanded. Like, seriously, how did no one notice this?

Charles shook his long furred covered body. "I just thought I'd invite a couple of friends over for some biscuits. You know, a little soiree of sorts. We're nearing the end of the year, after all."

"It's March 8th, you stupid mutt! We're nowhere close to eight years and two leap years!"

"Wouldn't it have been easier to say it in the number of days? Oh, that's right! You can't do math," Charles jeered.

I sighed in irritation and stood up. "I'm going to go shower. When I return, your little concubines better be gone!"

I stomped down the hall and slammed the bathroom door shut.

"Jeez, someone needs to get laid. Sorry, girls! Gotta end this little party, but don't worry, we'll see each other VERY soon,"

"I'm serious, mutt!" I yelled from the bathroom.

"I know! That's why I'm talking loudly! Also, where's my bacon cheeseburger?"

Shit. I forgot to get that!