"Hey, we're out of milk!" Charles yelled from the kitchen. "Why not ask your lady friends to buy some more? Since you want to act like a gigolo while we're stuck here," I replied bitterly while cleaning the bathroom. Seriously, this hellhound has more girls on his sleeve than the average pimp. Charles appeared in the doorway with my phone in his mouth. "What the heaven are you doing?" I asked while sitting up. This mutt I swear...

"Calling Libi and Malachi. If your broke ass won't go out and get me milk then I'll have them get me milk,"

"Couldn't you just wait till Monday?"

"No!"

I sighed and continued cleaning; just because I'm a demon doesn't mean I have to live in an actual hell hole. I'm not a Sloth demon; those guys are just--ugh! I don't even have enough words to describe my distaste for them.

"Greetings sinner! You've summoned the Charon Communication Center! For information on the next ferry to the afterlife: Press 1. For Familiar and Hellhound related issues: Press 2--"

"Are you really about to sit through all that?" I asked. Charles rolled his eyes as the voice continued, "Lonely virgin who can't get laid or just looking for some fun? Press 6 to reach our Lust department to set you up with your very own Incubus and Succubus. For summoning or contacting malicious beings of Inferno: Press 7--"

Charles pressed the number and another dial tone was heard. "Please dial the passcode for the demon you wish to summon,"

"666934...why does all of our summonses start with 666?" Charles asked. "I don't know! Why is the government in this country ruled by old white men who refuse to focus on real issues by attacking each other based on their political standpoints?" I asked sarcastically. "Hello? Charles is that you? Where's...fuck I forgot she doesn't have a name yet."

"Libiiii I'm hungry!" Charles whined. I rolled my eyes and snatched the phone, "the mutt threw a fucking party while I was at work. Whatever he was doing he used up all the milk and Lucifer knows what!" Charles growled as I filled Libi in on our dilemma. "Okay, I got you guys. I'll be around later with big bro; I got an orgy to get to,"

"Gross."

"Don't knock it till you try it! Anyway, talk to you guys later!"

Later that day Charles and I decided to go for a walk. Mainly, because Charles was getting bored while I was cleaning. "Surprisingly it's a nice day outside. What do you think Charles?" I asked my hellhound only to get no reply. "Wow, you shut your trap when we're amongst mortals. I should take you out for walks more often!" I smiled smugly as my hellhound gave me a look.

"Sinners! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Killing an innocent child!"

Charles and I looked over to see a man protesting next to an abortion clinic. I rolled my eyes at some the things he was saying about women who abort their child will be going to hell. "Look at him, Charles. A Follower of Christ, They claim to follow the word of god and its principles, yet can be so cruel to others. I thought the Creator was a being of love, not hate."

"Enjoy hell! I'll be living in the light of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior,"

"I've had enough of this. Let's go silence this fool he's being a public disturbance," I said and began making my way over. "If you don't want to be pregnant then don't have sex! You liberals better be prepared for the conseq--"

"Excuse me."

The man looked in my direction as a teenager quickly snuck past him while mouthing thank you. "Ma'am I suggest you walk away from that house of baby murderers!" the man said while pointing an accusing figure at the building. "Don't be crass. This is a blessing compared to the number of infants left in plastic bags and scorching hot cars. Besides, the infant is a part of the mother and it's her responsibility," I replied. "Exactly! Which is why you should practice abstinence until marriage. There are many dangers to this practice and women are just throwing their bodies around without a care in the world. Ma'am, you aren't planning on aborting your unborn child, are you?"

I raised a brow at his words. "For the record, this is fat from stress. Second, of all...actually, maybe it wouldn't be bad to talk to someone about planned parenthood. Accidents happen and I need to educate myself on what I'll need to prevent such outcomes."
Before I could even take a step the man stopped. Persistent little mortal this one is. "Well, I'll have you know if you enter there you are walking into the house of the devil!"

I looked at the man with a blank look and then walked past him. This was a waste of time. Humans never learn or realize the error of their ways no matter how much you say something. What's the point of having the freedom to do what you wish in this country if you're just going to antagonize people for what they choose to be or do with their lives? America needs to get its priorities straight,

"Y-You liberal heathen! You wouldn't know the work of the devil if it bit you on that privileged tail of yours!"

I froze in my spot. A sinister smile grew upon my lips as I turned to face the man.

"Oh, I know it..."

Charles stood not too far off as I circled the man. Awaiting any commands I might give him. "For you see...the devil exists in all of us. In one shape or another..."

"T-That's not true. The lord is on my side; his son died for our sins, so I am unburdened with sin. I-I was baptized at three and I still sing in my church choir!"

I slow clapped at the mortal's claims of righteousness. "Good for you! Your savior decomposed thousands of years ago. Do you think he's being nailed into the cross daily for your transgressions? Correct me if I'm wrong, but...I doubt you were even a thought when your savior was alive. Even then...some water and bread aren't going to save you from the fires of hell. Every nasty thought, thing, or action you do isn't the devil's doing. If anything you're making his job easy right now. The devil is a being far beyond human understanding, a force you could never comprehend. Only so many were able to harness his presence and turn it into power. Atilla the Hun, Albert Fish, Ted Bundy, Fidel Castro, and my personal favorite...Miyuki Ishikawa. There are many more who successfully harnessed the evil that is Satan himself, but this right here? Is nothing. So, if you really believe the devil is going to claim my soul over an issue such as abortion then he should really throw in the towel."

I snapped my fingers for Charles to return to my side and picked up the leash to resume our walk. "Honestly, you people should stop calling these women murderers. They're not like Deanna Laney who stoned her children to death," I said nonchalantly. The man seemed to be taken aback by what I said. "S-she stoned them...? Why?"

I chuckled, "Because your god told her to."

"Humans. They follow what they don't understand blindly," Charles huffed as he laid down under the table. "I love how you decided to say something outside a cafe while there are passerby humans around us," I replied while rolling my eyes. "It's not like I'm being loud."

"BARK BARK. Now shut up before you jinx us,"

Charles sighed as he went back to observing the passing cars. One of the workers set a large cup of caffeinated diabetes in front of me. "Forgive me, but I think this belongs to a wealthy blonde from Seattle," I said while setting my book down. "It's from the young lady over there," the worker said before returning back inside. I looked over and saw a young adolescent wave at me.

Oh good. Teenagers.

Lucifer help me--she's coming this way. Please, don't be a Maria, please don't be a Maria...

"Hi! Umm...may I sit here?"

NO.

"If that's what you want, but whatever happens isn't my fault,"
What in the nine circles--YOU'RE a DEMON, yet you can't tell this teenager no? Gods I despise teenagers. "Is there something I can help you with? Besides, buying me something that's going to harden my arteries?" I asked. The girl jumped at the sound of my voice before glancing at me and then back down at her hands. "No, I just...ummm...I uhh..."

"Stop that. I would assume that your parents taught you to look up at the person you're talking to and not mumble. If you keep that up people will pity you for the rest of your life," I scolded. The girl nodded and meekly cleared her throat, "I just wanted to say...thanks for getting that guy to shut up earlier. I just didn't know what to do and I was putting off my appointments because I was too scared of what people would say if they saw me."

"Well, it is your body. You do what you wish with it; I honestly don't see the point in a man saying otherwise. They're not the ones going through menstruation every month and carrying a child. They know not the struggles of women nor understand how much stronger we are compared to them. Don't let others dictate your life," I responded while taking a tentative sip of the drink she bought me. "That's...well something. I've never heard of a statement like that,"

"Eh. I see something I say something. Just because people refuse to see the truth doesn't mean I have to,"

The girl smiled and held her hand out. "I'm Dakota by the way,"

I reluctantly shook her hand. "Just call me Nina,"

Charles let out a yawn which got Dakota's attention. "Oh! Is that your dog?"

"Unfortunately, " I sighed. Charles sniffed her and I allowed the girl to pet him. "He has such long fur...I've never seen a dog like him before, " Dakota said in wonder.

"He's an Afghan Hound. One of the oldest dog breeds in the world; as luxurious as he looks he's a damn pain in the ass, "

Charles curled his lip and growled at me. I merely smirked as Dakota scratched him under the chin. "So, tell me why was a 14-year old girl at an abortion clinic. If you don't mind of course, "

"Well...I did this stupid thing at a party and--"

"Nevermind. I got it, " I interjected. "But I thought you wanted to know?" Dakota asked. "Yeah, but then I stopped caring, "

"Dakota!"

I swear if it's another annoying pest...

"Crap! I forgot to tell him that I wasn't staying after school today..."

The older boy made it over to our table and doubled over. He seemed exhausted; how long has he been running? Not that I care or anything. "Hey, Dakota? Can I--Can I have your drink?" the boy asked. "Wait! That's not--"

Before we could stop him the drink was snatched up and emptied in seconds. Dakota stared incredulously at the action while I pinched the bridge of my nose; fighting the urge to punch this mortal into the afterlife. Just when I was starting to like that drink too. "Gavin! That was Nina's! Why'd you just take it without waiting for us to answer?" Dakota exclaimed while hitting Gavin. "Chill! I'm sorry! I was thirsty from running up and down the neighborhood looking for you!" Gavin replied while shielding himself with one arm. "Hey, I'm sorry about that. My brother was dropped on the head, but he's been vaccinated so you shouldn't catch anything from him!"

"Hey! Not cool Snowflake!"

"Ew! Get your hands off me I don't want your dirty green sausages on me!"

Siblings. How cute.

"Well, this has been entertaining but I need to head home. I'm expecting someone, " I said while standing up. Dakota elbowed her brother in the gut and motioned towards me. "Wait! How far do you live? I'll walk you back,"

"No thank you, " I replied curtly while walking away. That didn't seem to deter the male as he jogged over to catch up with me. "Look at least let me thank you for keeping my sister company and apologize about your drink, " he said while moving in front of me. "You can do both by going away, " I smiled and walked around with Charles snorting in disapproval.

Once again the human stopped me, but this time he grabbed my hand. "Please remove your filthy meat like appendages, " I hissed in annoyance. "I can tell you aren't the social type, so I won't force you. But if you change your mind I'd really like to make it up to you and pay you back,"

Gavin then returned to Dakota much to my pleasure. I looked down at my hand and saw he left a note with...

"What the heaven...?!"

Charles snickered before breaking out into laughter.

Did he literally just gave me his number?!

"How do you feel Nina? Seems like you made a new friend, " Charles smirked. I smiled and then kicked him in the side. "Someone's embarrassed!"

Great. Social interaction.

Fuuuuun.