I woke up the next morning in my long and baggy pajamas I loved to wear. Everything I had, majority of it fit big on me, because most of it was hand-me-downs from Gabriel. I opened my eyes to greet the sun, as it's light kissed my cheeks. I smiled, remembering everything that happened last night. I sat up, yawning, and stretching out my arms and back. Then I slide out of bed quickly run out of my room and down the hall to Gabriel's door. I was going to knock... but then I remembered how he didn't answer me last night. How his silence broke me. Instead, I grabbed his doorhandle and pushed it open, trying my best not to make any noise.

When I stepped inside, his room was a complete disaster. There were discarded candy bags everywhere, his clothes all over the floor, and duck tape covering up the windows so sunlight can't even touch the inside of his room. It was so dark and gloomy, his 3 Days Grace and Lincoln Park posters weren't helping at all. Then I heard a soft snore. I turned around to see Gabriel, asleep in in the most funniest position. His arm was dangling to the floor, his knee brought up to his chest while the other leg outstretched onto the tailboard of the bed, and his opposite arm was holding onto his pillow. I tried my best not to giggle so loud. Tip toeing, I avoid all his clothes and sit cautiously on the bed, trying not to make noise with the springs. Victoriously, I slid under his cover with him, and snuggled up to his chest.

He was warm. Gabriel was so warm. I never knew he felt such a way, since he shut me out for eight whole years. I wrapped my arm around him and just cuddled, soaking up every moment I had with my older brother. His heartbeat, it was soft, and delicate, like a butterfly's flutter. I know he cares... but something dark and cold was blocking him from showing that he does. I sighed, as I began to fall asleep again. I was falling asleep next to the warmth of my brother Gabriel. The Gabriel that eats nothing but candy and plays nothing but games. The Gabriel that insults me for everything. The Gabriel that pretends I doesn't exist at school. The Gabriel that ignores me whenever we're home. The Gabriel that-- didn't come outside with me-- when I asked him to play eight years ago.... The Gabriel that didn't stop me from going out by myself and almost caused me to drown... That Gabriel. But yet, I loved him so. Because he's Gabriel. I drifted off into another deep sleep.

Suddenly, I felt myself hit the floor. Really hard.

"Oww!" I cried, picking myself up and holding my head. I turn around to see Gabriel, with a pissed look.

"What are you doing in my room twerp! I said you could never come in here! Ever!" Gabriel yelled at me. I immediately started crying. He rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry I actually wanted to spend some time with you Gabriel! And since you won't when you're awake, I might as well lay down next to you in your sleep!" I yelled back, stammering a bit.

"I said not to come into my room! Don't you ever do what you're told?!" He spat back at me.

"Oh yes, Gabriel, I completely forgot how absolutely obedient you are!" I replied, getting up from the floor. Gabriel slid off his bed and walked up to me, looking me straight in the eye.

"Keep your fucking gay mouth shut if out know what's best for you, Castiel." He muttered, I could feel the bitterness he had in his breath. I gasped lightly at his comment.

"You don't know me Gabriel!"

"Yeah I do! You're the annoying, little, worthless, crybaby that everyone stares at because you're to scared to step into a puddle! And then you go and cry yourself to Raph!" Gabriel kept at it. Everything he said was like a punch in the face.

"It's all your fault why I'm like this!" I yelled back, my voice breaking up. Raphael came running into the room asking what was going on.

"Don't you dare blame this on me..." Gabriel shook his head, as he clutched his fists.

"I have every right to blame it on you!" I shrugged.

"Shut up! You are a fucking murderer! That's what you are!" Gabriel  brought up.

"What?! How am I a murderer?! I can't even pick up a knife without crying about it first!"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN!"

"Wh-what...?" I silenced myself a bit. Gabriel was panting from all his yelling. Raphael just stood there, hand over his mouth.

"Mom died because of you! Your birth was too much for her to handle! Why do you think you never met her?! Because you killed her!" Gabriel's mouth started to quiver. "I don't have my mother because she decided to go through with the delivery just to give birth to the nothing that you are!" My heart stopped. I fell to my knees, covering my face and sobbing. He was really killing me. The pain I felt in my heart was diabolical.

"Gabriel... please." Raphael spoke, his voice shook.

"No! You shut up! I'm not done! For eight years I've been holding this in, I'm going to say what I want!" Gabriel continued yelling.

"But we w-we're so close before... Was all of that fake...?" I cried, looking up to him. Gabriel didn't say anything. He looked to the side. I never felt so heartbroken in my life. I was betrayed, by my own brother. My blood.

"Why are you doing this!? After all these years!? Why are you bringing it up!?" I screamed, annoyed that he wasn't being specific.

"Because I don't want all the hate on me!" Gabriel answered. "You're the perfect little child that dad, and even  Raph always wanted! I was left behind, hiding in your shadow! And you cast a pretty small shadow!"

"I always wanted to be with you Gabriel! I always wanted to be with the big brother I looked up to! The one I counted on to watch after me!" I cried, my throat starting to hurt because of all the yelling and crying I was doing. "I ASKED YOU TO COME OUTSIDE WITH ME, AND YOUR JEALOUSY ALMOST GOT ME KILLED! I NEEDED YOU GABRIEL! I ALMOST DROWNED EIGHT YEARS AGO!"

"Shut up!" He covered his ears, and he screamed.

"When you Raphael found me on the ground wet, and cold, and dirty, it didn't even look like you cared!" I kept yelling. I too, had a lot of things to say. "And ever since then you shut me out! You shut me out, you shut the world out! Why? Why did you do that?! What were you so afraid of?!"

"I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOU AGAIN!" Gabriel grabbed my shoulders, shaking me a bit. I looked up to him to see him crying. Crying. "After we found out you were drowning in that lake, Raphael blamed me! And I blamed myself! I was so clouded by envy and hatred, my only blood related brother almost died because if it!" His tears fell, they fell fast. Like all the tears he's been holding in all these years finally came out.

"Gabriel...." Was all I could say.

"I'm not going to lie to you Castiel, when I was younger, I loved you, I did.... But I also wanted you out of the picture." Gabriel coughed, choking on his sobbing. I stood up, and backed away. Shaking my head unbelievably. My own brother wanted me dead. He wanted me dead. "I'm sorry Castiel! I'm sorry! When you almost drowned it scared the living shit out of me! That's when I realized I was wrong! I regret every moment, every thought! I was so mad mom died and I put all the blame on you! I'm sorry! I didn't want to hurt you again!" He kept saying on broken repeat.

"Yeah... You sure did one hell of a job..." I replied. I ran out of the room, pushing Raphael out of the way. I couldn't take it. I was in my own home, and still people didn't want me there. I ran to my room, grabbed my phone and my trenchcoat and stumbled down the stairs. I was full of tears.

"Castiel!" I could hear my brothers' voices. But I ignored them. I ran out of the house and down the street barefooted. I left it all behind. My home, my stuff... my will.... Gone.

I stopped in front of a store. I had no side where I was. I was pretty sure that Raphael, and maybe Gabriel, were in the car looking for me. I panted, and my feet were throbbing. There was blood on the sidewalk, I was pretty sure they were bleeding... I took the phone out of my inside coat pocket, and pressed Dean's speed dial number. I pressed Talk and put the phone to my ear. I waited. And waited, but the phone just rang. I was loosing faith... I felt like there was no one for me.

Then I heard his voice: "Hello?" I gave a large sigh of relief, followed by an explosion of weeping. "Castiel? Baby, what's the matter?" He asked. I couldn't answer, my betrayed heart just kept crying.

"Dean!"  I cried. "Dean I can't...!" Was all that came out of my mouth.

"You can't what? Where are you?"

"I'm in town.... My GPS should be on...." I replied. "Please, Dean, come and get me...." I sobbed.

"Okay. Okay. You stay right where you are. I'm coming for you okay?" I could here him struggle to get off the couch through the phone. "Don't go anywhere. I'm coming for you Baby, alright?"

"Okay..." I coughed out.

Quicker than I expected, Dean arrives in the Impala, forcing on the break, making the tires shriek really loud. He unbuckles his seatbelt and jumps out of the car, running toward me. He picks up my head so that I could look at him.

"Oh Castiel, what happened? Why are you crying?" He asked, his expression like if he wanted to cry too. He looked down to my feet. "You're bleeding! What the hell happened?"

"Nobody wants me! Not even in my own home!" I fell into his chest, crying my eyes out. He embraced me, holding me tight.

"Why would you think that? I thought your brothers loved you?" He practically whispered to me.

"Gabriel said he wanted me dead!" I looked up to him. "He wanted me dead...." I burst into more tears. I cried into his chest, gripping on his shirt sleeves.

"Baby... I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you, or what to do..." He signed, I could tell he was starting to panic a bit.

"Take me..."

"What?"

"Take me! Take me away from here! Take me with you, I want to be with you, you're the only one I have full trust in... Please Dean...." I covered my face with my hands, crying.

"Okay... uhm, I'll take you to my place, get your feet all bandaged up... and we'll figure something out, alright?" He replied, embracing me, and rubbing my back. I sniffled, trying my best to understand that Dean was here for me. That he was caring.

"Anything...." I spoke softly, my tear glands seemed to have run out.

"Okay." Dean said, scooped me up and placed me inside the Impala. I rested my head against the window after he closed the door. He then sat on his side, put his seatbelt on, and turned on the car. Slowly, he drove onto the road. We passed by stores and car dealerships... I just stared out the window. And I thought. I thought long and hard.

"Dean..."  I started.

"Hmm?" He answered.

"I...." I sighed and faced him. He glanced at me, trying to keep his eyes on the road. "I don't want to be a Novak anymore."