Your POV

"What was that?" Tom begins as the front door closes behind us. The drive from Lilly and Alan's to home had been completely silent, neither of us wanting to speak.

Tom, I'm guessing, was too busy trying to piece everything together. Why was I so drawn to that song? Who was that guy and why does he seem so important to me? What was my breakdown about?

And then there was me, thinking about Tyler. When did he release that song? What other songs does he have? Is he a celebrity now?

The moment I heard his song begin to play, the tune took me back to the day I sat in his room and listened to it for the very first time. He was so excited to show me this new song he wrote. I just wanted to be back there, in that room with him.

"What was what?" I ask, pretending to be dumb.

"Who was that singing? Was he your boyfriend? Is he why you never talk to me about your past? I mean, if he was, fine. You left a to-be celebrity for me, I don't know why. Judging by your reaction, I'm guessing you're thinking the same thing and I understand if you still love him. He obviously has what I don't."

I grab onto his hand and look into his eyes. "Tom, I love him, but it's not like that. He's my brother. Um... I think he's still my brother. I don't think he wants anything to do with me anymore."

"You never told me you had a brother," he mutters and sighs. "I'm sorry. I just felt as if I lost you for a second. Do you want to talk about anything?"

I shake my head. "I just want to go to bed. Trust me, I have as much questions as you do."

~Time skip~

I sit at the table with a sandwich and my laptop. With Tom gone, I've decided I'd look into Tyler and his band. I love Tom, but with what I'm going through I don't need him snooping around, being nosy and asking question after question.

I type Twenty One Pilots into the search bar and press enter. Websites, videos and pictures pop up on the screen. I click on the first image and try to keep my breaths steady as I wait for it to load.

In the picture, there's two men. One man had red, dyed hair and red paint around his eyes. He had black ear stretchers in his ears, a nose ring and wore a white jacket with a black and white t-shirt underneath. I will admit, he was good looking but intimidating.

I looked at the other man and instantly felt butterflies. It's Tyler. He too is wearing a jacket with a white button up shirt underneath. He also wears a red beanie. I remember when I had a beanie like that. Tyler always said it suited me. He has grown up since I last saw him, but is still recognizable as the boy who held my hand at my mothers funeral, who sang me songs when I was sad or scared, who sat beside me when I was bloody and bruised, who was always there for me. The boy who after all he'd done for me I left to live a life with drugs and alcohol.

I wipe the tears rolling down my cheeks and click on one of the videos. After a few seconds of loading, I'm greeted by what I recognize as Los Angeles' Chinatown. The boys sit opposite each other, Tyler with a piano and the other with a drum set. I take a good look at Tyler, wondering why he has black paint on his hands and neck. The drummer smacks his sticks together and the two shout unrecognizable words, which probably make sense to some people but I'm not so good with things like that. The song starts.

I watch and listen in awe. I always told Tyler that someday his music would get him somewhere, and it did. This song is absolutely amazing.

Suddenly, about two minutes into the video, a beautiful blonde appears on the screen. I frown in envy. The woman is absolutely stunning! Something that I'd never be. Her eyebrows are perfect and her bright, blue eyes are entrancing. 

I gasp as she starts beating the crap out of Tyler until he bleeds and find myself crying at the end. Tyler places his hand on the back of her neck, and leans in, connecting his lips with hers. The kiss is so heartwarming. I wonder who this woman is. Is she a paid actress? Or is she his girlfriend?

 After listening to that song, which was called Tear in My Heart, I continue to listen through the songs, as if I'm in a trance. I just can't help it. They're just so... amazing.

Finally, after about an hour of listening, the song that brought me here comes up. My breath hitches as I click on it.

It is still just as capturing as the first time I heard it, and still brings tears to my eyes. 

"I know where you stand,

Silent in the trees..."

~Time skip~

I listen to the song for maybe the tenth time. But not just because of Tyler. No, because of Zack. Tyler wasn't my whole family. His three siblings were my siblings too. And Zack is just as good of  rapper as Tyler is.

The song is called Kitchen Sink, and it's beautiful. Some may say it's not exactly great because of it's deep and depressing nature, but that's what makes the song so damn good.

I'm so drawn into the song that I don't hear the door slam shut.

"Hun, are you okay?" I jump and shoot a look at Tom who stands in the doorway. I frantically press the pause button. I'm still sat at the dining table, where I have sat all day. 

"Yeah, I-I'm fine," I reply.

"You don't look it," he scratches the back of his neck.

"What do you mean?" I say, jumping up from my seat and rushing towards the small mirror in the living room, which is next to the kitchen. I reach the mirror and see a girl I thought I left behind a long time ago. My eyes are red and puffy, as is my nose, and my mascara has left tear streaks on my cheeks. I look like a mess. I look just as I did yeas ago, when all I would do was cry. My mind travels back to those days. Those days when I was an emotional teenager who wanted her mother and a normal life. When my brother would wipe away the tears and play a song to make me okay again. Now he is the one making me cry.

"Oh," I whisper. I don't even remember crying so much. I knew I let a few tears loose, but by the looks of it, I've been bawling.

I feel Tom's large, muscular arms wrap around my waist and his head rest on my shoulder, his hair tickling my neck.

"It's that Tyler guy, isn't it?" I nod. "Are you sure he was your brother? Or are you just telling me that to cover up that he was a lover and you still have feelings for him?"

I chuckle. "He's my brother. I mean, if it was Gerard Way or Frank Iero, then you'd have something to worry about-"

"Y/N..."

"Or just anyone from My Chemical Romance."

"You're supposed to love me," he jokingly whines.

"Well you better get some plastic surgery," I laugh.

But that laughter soon turns to more crying. Crying for Tyler. Crying for my brother. Crying because I'd do anything to be laughing with him right now.