#JustTheStrings

Kabanata 42

"Yes po. Oo nga... I'll see you later."

He sighed.

"Sayang. I wanted to come to school with you."

I chuckled. Para siyang naagawan ng laruan.

"Let's have lunch together later na lang. Hindi ko rin kasi ineexpect na uuwi si Mama ngayon..."

"Okay," he breathed. "Good luck and I hope that everything will be fine. If you change your mind, text me and I'll come running."

Natawa naman ako.

"Baliw. Sige na," I said.

"Alright. But go to school, you hear me? I'll nag if you skip class again. Almost two weeks kang absent, Mary. You can't miss classes anymore."

"Yes po..."

"And stop using po. Sobrang cute na. Hindi ko na kayang i-handle."

"Ewan ko sa 'yo... But yes, I'll definitely go to class. One more absent and mada-drop na kasi ako," I said, wincing. But I couldn't blame myself, still... The past two weeks had been really hard on me. Iyon bang parang siningil ako dahil masaya ako buong buhay ko? Tapos biglang sa ilang araw, sinira lahat. Hindi agad ako naka-adjust sa lahat ng mga pagbabago. It's hard for me to adjust to changes. Masyado kasi akong kumportable sa buhay ko at sa mga tao sa paligid ko... But I learned that the world is ever changing and the only thing I should do is to cope up with the changes. Dahil kung hindi, maiiwan ako.

And Saint's with me. He promised that he'd stay.

"Alright. See you later and good luck."

"Good luck din."

Pagkatapos kong makausap si Saint, inayos ko na iyong mga gamit ko. I was planning to bring all the notes Saint gave me para maka-catch up agad ako. Lunch lang naman kami sabay dahil tuwing break ko in between class, sinabi ko sa kanya na mag-aaral ako sa lib. He was fine with it—pero sa totoo lang, ang nagger ni Saint sa pag-aaral ko. Akala mo naman siya masipag mag-aral.

Pagbaba ko, naabutan ko sila Mama na nasa table na. My heart constricted inside my chest. Parang sobrang tagal na nung huli ko silang nakita...

"Good morning, Ate!" Finley greeted. "Mama's back! And look! Cayden is growing!"

Hala, oo nga. Bakit biglang sobrang halata na nung baby bump ni Mama?

"Finley, eat your food first. You have to get ready for school," sabi ni Mama.

Naupo ako sa table. Nandun si Mama, si Papa, si Riley at Finley.

"Si Kuya po?"

Nagkatinginan si Mama at Papa.

"We'll tell you later," she said at saka tinignan iyong kambal. I nodded. Baka kasi hindi pwedeng marinig nung kambal... So, tahimik akong kumain, medyo nag-o-observe at natutuwa nung pinapagalitan ni Mama si Finley dahil bumagsak siya sa isang quiz niya. Mas focused pa kasi si Finley sa pagbabasketball. Tapos every night, umiinom ng pampatangkad kahit sure naman na tatangkad siya. Ang tangkad kaya ni Papa. Pati si Kuya, ang tangkad din.

Once done eating, umakyat na iyong kambal kasama ang mga yaya nila. Finally, kami na lang ang naiwan.

"Si Kuya po?" I asked again.

"We'll talk about that later. First, kayo na ni Saint?"

I nodded.

"Okay lang naman po, 'di ba? You already gave him your blessing..." pagpapaalala ko sa kanya. Nung pumunta si Saint dito dati, nagpaalam naman siya at pumayag naman si Mama. Sana lang hindi nagbago iyong isip niya because it's already too late. Wala akong balak makipaghiwalay kay Saint.

Mama timidly nodded.

"But are you sure?"

"Of course."

"But you're still too young... You just turned eighteen," Mama said, looking worried.

"Ma, you met Tito Parker when you were eighteen. No offense, Papa."

Papa smiled, mukhang naaaliw pa siya sa seryosong usapan namin ni Mama. Wala na lang talaga sa kanya kahit banggitin si Tito Parker. He already made peace with the fact that Tito Parker's memories would forever be with us.

"I know I'm still young but I'm not rushing things. I'm just trying to enjoy things. I know my priorities, Mama. I want to finish school first and then travel for a little while... and then figure things out. If I want to work, start a business, or go back to studying because I'm starting to take serious interest in photography. There are many possibilities and I don't want to limit myself."

Mama looked at me and then sighed.

"Shi, she's no longer our baby. When did she grow up?" Mama said, looking at Papa.

Papa smiled.

"So, will Saint visit us?"

Unti-unti akong napa-ngiti.

"So... okay po sa inyo?" I asked. Akala ko kasi ay hindi dahil ang seryoso nila kanina. My heart was thumping like crazy. I prepared all these explanations inside my head, in case na sabihin nila na hindi kami pwede ni Saint... and then this.

"Of course. He's a great kid," Papa said, with a smile. "But studies first."

"Thank you po! I promise I won't let this be a distraction..." Although Saint kept on distracting me in my dreams. Kahit sa panaginip ko, ang clingy niya.

I turned at Mama, still smiling, nung mapansin ko na parang maiiyak siya. Dahil pa rin ba 'to sa hormones? Kasi naaalala ko na palagi din siyang umiiyak nung pinagbubuntis niya sila Finley, e... So, I stood up and hugged her tight, para naman maramdaman niya that despite all the ruckus that happened lately, in the end, everything's going to be alright. And that I was there for her... because she's family and that's what family does. They have your back.

"Sige na," she said, still tearing up a little. "You'll ba late for class."

"Hala, 'yung kay Kuya po?"

"Kausapin mo. I think he'll tell you."

Napahinto ako. Tapos biglang kinabahan. Napansin yata ni Mama iyong kaba ko, so she held my hand.

"Things were messy before, so we had—I mean, your Kuya had to fix things first. Okay naman na ngayon. Go and talk to him," she said.

I just agreed, but deep inside, I was freaking out. Ang hirap kasi nun, 'di ba? Kuya and I used to be very close... inseparable, even. Palagi ko siyang kasama dati, tapos siya iyong umaaway kapag may nangbubully sa akin dati sa school dahil kay Parker. Tapos ngayon...

Bakit ganon? May mga tao na sobrang ka-close mo, tapos biglang unti-unti, hindi na kayo nag-uusap... Unti-unti, nawawala na iyong closeness... Tapos kapag nagkikita kayo, ang awkward na lang kasi hindi niyo rin alam kung saan nagsimula. Saan nga ba nagsimula na parang hindi na okay? That from being close friends, you became acquaintances.

Kaya naman hanggang pagdating ko sa school, iyon pa rin ang iniisip ko. Na paano ko kakausapin si Kuya.

"Tulala na naman?" Kath interrupted. Ngayon lang kami nagkaroon ng chance magkausap kasi pagdating ko, may long quiz pala. Kaya iyong free ten minutes ko, instead na kausapin sila, nagreview na lang ako. "Okay ka lang? I mean, kayong dalawa ni Liza. Because I swear, the atmosphere is cold around you, guys. I am chilling with curiosity."

Napatingin ako kay Liza. Umiwas siya ng tingin. Hindi pala alam ni Kath iyong nangyari last time. I wanted to just forget about it because what Kuya Jackson said had no sense. Siguro in denial lang kasi talaga siya. That he cheated on Ate Jas. And so he lashed out on me. But that's not my problem anymore. Sabi kasi ni Saint, kung hindi ko directly problema, 'wag kong masyadong dibdibin kasi iyon daw ang ikakamatay ko nang maaga.

"Ah... wala. Kakausapin ko na kasi si Kuya kanina," I said, looking at Kath to see her reaction. "Gusto mong sumama?" I asked, for moral support.

"Hala, no. Ayoko nga. Si Liza na lang, no."

I looked at Liza, and she looked as uncomfortable as I was. I decided to ignore Kath's remark.

"Sige na kasi... Kailangan ko ng moral support. Paano kapag inignore ako ni Kuya? Ikaw lang naman ang nagpapatino 'dun."

Kath let out a dry laugh.

"No, not really. And I think that Preston's already kind of okay... I mean, he had the audacity to react to your status change. So, it means, okay na siya, right?"

Agad na kumunot ang noo ko.

"What?"

"Tignan mo kasi 'yung fb mo!"

Agad kong kinuha iyong phone ko, nakita ko na may text si Saint pero hinanap ko na muna iyong sinasabi ni Kath.

In a relationship with Saint Iverson Gomez de Liaño

Saint Iverson Gomez de Liaño, Parker Adrian Palma, and 63 others reacted to this.

Bigla namang tumawa si Kath.

"Tignan mo nga naman, magkatabi pa ang pangalan ni Saint at Parker!"

Hindi ko na pinansin iyong comment niya at hinanap ko iyong pangalan ni Kuya. Wala siya sa listahan ng naglike (si Kuya Benj, nandun), wala rin sa nagpuso (si Kath, Liza, account ni Papa na palagay ko ay si Finley ang gumamit), sa may sad (nandun si Psalm, Austin, at Cohen)... tapos may angry.

"Hala."

"Bakit?"

"Naka-angry si Kuya."

Tawa naman ng tawa si Kath. Mukhang okay na yata siya talaga. Kasi dati, banggitin lang ang pangalan ni Kuya ay naiinis na siya.

"Oo kaya! I was browsing last night tapos nakita ko sa newsfeed ko. Angry talaga iyong ginamit niya," sabi niya ng napapailing pa. "So, see? I think he's fine. Pwede mo na siyang kausapin. And I'm glad you waited because if you tried talking to him before, he might just lash out at you."

I was pacified a little because of what Kath said. Mabuti na lang din at na-occupy ng next class namin iyong isip ko kaya hindi na muna ako masyadong nagworry. When lunch came, I told them I had plans with Saint. Mukhang okay naman kaya dumiretso na agad ako. Dun ako huminto sa harap ng building nila dahil ayokong umakyat sa taas. I just sent a text to Saint telling him that I was already there.

While waiting, I couldn't decide if people were really looking at me o masyado lang ba akong conscious...

"Sorry, I needed to finish something. Kanina ka pa?" Saint asked, medyo may pawis pa siya.

Umiling ako. Mga two minutes pa lang naman akong naghihintay.

"Bakit ka pawis?" I asked. "Tumakbo ka ba?"

"Yeah. I read your text late. Akala ko kanina ka pa naghihintay," he said. "Are you hungry? Where do you want to eat?"

Sabay kaming naglalakad at tinatanong at binibigyan ako ni Saint ng suggestion kung saan kami pwedeng kumain. Both na one hour and thirty minutes lang naman ang break namin kaya wala masyadong choices sa mga pwede naming puntahan. Hindi lang ako makapagdecide kung saan ko gusto dahil pakiramdam ko talaga maraming nakatingin.

"Hey, Mary. Are you okay? You seem bothered," he worriedly asked.

"Ah... kasi... ewan ko kung feeling ko lang ba 'yun pero parang ang daming naka-tingin..." I admitted.

I was not used to the attention, and I didn't think I would ever be. Nung nasa elementary at high school pa ako, halos lahat ng tao sa school ay kakilala ako kahit hindi ko naman sila kakilala... Iyong iba, nagpapalakad sa Kuya ko... tapos iyong iba naman, inaaway ako dahil kay Parker. I didn't know how to handle the prying eyes. Hindi naman kasi ako outgoing kagaya nila Kuya... I'd rather stay out of the spotlight pero hindi maiwasan dahil sikat sa mga babae iyong nakapaligid sa akin.

"I'm sorry."

Napa-tingin ako sa kanya.

"Ha? Bakit ka nagsosorry?"

"They're probably looking because of the status update."

"Tsk... bakit kasi sikat ka?"

"E... sikat ka rin kaya," he replied.

"Wala akong followers sa facebook. Ikaw, may almost fifty thousand followers ka sa facebook. Almost 200 lang ang friends ko... Tapos ang daming nagla-like sa status mo. Tapos iyong relationship change mo, mas marami pang sad reaction kaysa sa like."

Ang seryoso ko sa sinasabi ko pero si Saint, naka-ngiti lang habang naiiling.

"You're so cute."

"Tss."

Tumawa ulit siya.

"You're the only one whom I love, so don't get bothered, alright? Those people in facebook, they don't know me. They only know what I post online. Ikaw, you see me, you can talk to me, you can ask me, you can whine to me, you can enslave me, you can hold me... you can kiss me," sabi niya tapos bigla akong namula. Iyong kiss na naman! "So, see? No reason to be jealous at all, Mary. I am all yours. One hundred percent."

Hindi pa rin ako nakaka-sagot so he held my hand.

"They'll get used to seeing us together," he said, intertwining our fingers.

"Paano kapag hindi?"

"Well, they have to. I have no plans of  breaking up with you," he said with a smile before we went back to walking. And I just did my best to ignore the stares, because it's Saint who I have to focus on.

We went to the nearest resto, since we didn't want to spend our time on the road.

"Himala. Ang linis ng sasakyan mo," I pointed out. Wala na iyong empty water bottles!

"Yeah... I cleaned up. Nahiya ako sa 'yo, e," he said, laughing.

"Kasi naman... Mukha kang malinis tapos 'yung sasakyan mo, parang pwede ng tumira ang ahas sa sobrang dumi."

But he just laughed at me!

"It's because I always forget to bring my tumbler with me, so I tend to buy bottled water."

"Hindi environment-friendly," I commented.

"I agree. So, you have to remind me everyday to bring my tumbler kung talagang concerned ka kay Mother Nature."

"Everyday?"

He nodded.

"After waking up, if you can, call me. I want to hear your voice first thing in the morning."

Ako naman 'yung napa-ngiti.

"Clingy," I said.

"I know... I'm a hopeless case," he agreed.

And then he held my hand while we were waiting for the traffic signal to go.

When we reached the resto, Saint ordered food while I settled on salad. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay baka masuka ako kapag kinausap ko si Kuya, so I was staying away from food for today.

"Are you on a diet? Because... why?" he asked, naguguluhan.

"Hindi... ano kasi, pupuntahan ko si Kuya mamaya. Kinakabahan lang ako."

"Oh. You'll talk to him?"

I nodded.

"Kasi, sabi nila Mama, pwede ko na raw kausapin si Kuya... Na dapat hindi naman big deal kasi 'di ba Kuya ko naman siya... Pero ewan, kinakabahan pa rin ako. Kasi parang ang big deal... na parang sobrang laki nung pinagdaanan ni Kuya lately... And I couldn't sympathize because I have no idea what's going on," I explained.

Saint was staring at me.

"What?" I asked, because he was still staring.

"Nothing. I just like it when you're opening up," he said. "Anyway, just talk to him. He's your brother. I'm sure it'll be fine."

"I hope so..."

"Do you want me to drive you?"

"Hala, after ng game mo 'yun, e. Baka pagod ka na."

"Mary, you're my girl. You can definitely impose."

"E... hindi naman ako demanding."

"We'll work on making you demanding. But, seriously, do you need a ride? Moral support?"

"Baka mas ma-badtrip si Kuya kapag nakita ka niya."

Saint laughed.

"Yeah, I know. I'll stay inside the car, while waiting."

I nodded. He smiled.

Nung matapos na kami, bumalik na kami sa school. Saint walked me to my room, still holding my hand. Pinagtitinginan talaga kami. Bakit naman kasi sikat siya? Pati mga kapatid niya? I mean, GDLs are legend in our school. Nadadamay tuloy ako.

"See you later. My favor, don't forget, alright?"

I nodded.

"Sa Brent lang, 'di ba?"

He nodded.

"Okay... see you and good luck," I said.

"Thank you. I'll do good. And if we win, can you be my date for my parents' wedding anniversary?"

"Hala."

"I mean, it's still two weeks from now. And also, so that I can introduce you."

"Alam naman na nila, 'di ba? Nagcongrats pa kaya sila Cohen sa akin."

He nodded, tapos hinawi niya iyong buhok sa mukha ko.

"Yeah... but relatives from Madrid are coming. I want to introduce you to abuelo and abuela, to my tíos and tías, and to my primos. I'm gonna introduce you to everyone."

Bigla akong kinabahan. Parang ang dami ko namang dapat makilala. E sa side ko, wala masyado... Kasi wala namang kapatid si Papa, tapos si Mama, iyong half-siblings niya, nasa Europe at saka hindi naman ako close sa mga relatives namin doon masyado.

"Ang dami naman..."

He nodded.

"Don't worry, they'll love you."

"Tss... Okay. Basta manalo kayo mamaya."

He grinned.

"Of course, Mary. Why do you ever doubt me in basketball? I'm like a god."

Napailing na lang ako. Buti hindi siya naririnig nila Psalm kasi sigurado, babatukan siya. Nag-usap lang kami habang hindi pa dumadating iyong prof. Nung dumating na siya, nagpaalam na si Saint.

"Bye, Mary. Later," he said and then kissed my forehead. "Later na 'yung sa lips 'pag walang nanonood."