---- [T -> J] ----

T: Ugh, it's so hard
J: You know what else is hard?
T: Getting rejected

----

J: I like your shirt
T: Thanks, it was 50% off
J: I'd like it 100% off
T: the store can't just give it away for free
T: that's no way to run a business, Jason
T: this is y Bruce isn't going to let you take over Wayne Enterprises

----

T: Jeez Jason! What happened to you? You look like hell!
J: Yeah, I just got back

----

J: Is your ass jealous of all that shit coming out of your mouth or are you just too used to it to notice?

----

T: I can fix that
J: I'm calling a professional
T: I am a professional
J: A professional professional

----

J: If you and a same-sex friend are eating out and request one check and the waiter sets it down in front of you, they've decided you're the top. I don't make the rules, it's just a fact.

----

T: Jason
J: Yes?
T: Have u ever thought about the fact that when u lay on ur side ur balancing? While u sleep? Wild, man, just wild.
J: Tim what the fuck

----

J: I'm not out of control, I'm a law-abiding man
T: Name one law
J: Don't kill people
T: That's on me, I set the bar too low

----

T: On a scale from 'damn Daniel' to 'Fre sha vaca do', how are you feeling?
J: In between 'it's an avocado, thanks' and 'how did you defeat Captain America', but as a solid answer I would say 'I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger.' You?
T: Probably 'road work ahead'

----

J: Stop that
T: Stop what?
J: You're talking about me in Morse code
T: Yes, that's what we're doing. In our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about u in front of u

----

T: Who the fuck invited u?

----

J: Going out might help you become a normal, functioning member of society you know
T: I went out today! I went to the park!
J: There you go! I hope you got something from that
T: Yeah, I did
T: This duck
J: what

----

J: He died of natural causes
T: u pushed him off the roof??
J: Gravity is natural

----

T: I asked Dickie what his goals in life are and he said "I've been banned from every major city's public transportation system except Melbourne, Australia. I don't know what their limit is but I will fucking find it."

----

J: Tim is a stupid name
T: Jason, Peter, and Todd are three frat boys who go to every party and still call them "keggers" like they're in a teen movie from 2002

----

T: If you get a hole in a pair of fishnets, you actually have less holes than what you started with.

----

J: Roy's TV gets a shit signal so we're watching the couple across the street fight
J: The guys totally gay, I give it like three months before he cheats on her with some guy and they break up

----

T: "How did none of you hear what I just said?"
T: "I've been zoned out for the last two and a half hours."
T: "I got distracted about halfway through."
T: "Ignoring you was a conscious decision."
T: How has Bruce survived us this long

----

J: It's unhealthy to eat past 9 pm
T: Oh man, good thing time is an illusion

----

T: Have you seen Dickie lately?
J: he left like two hours ago to "go somewhere and disappoint God"

----

J: Tim, please, after everything we've been through...
T: I'm sorry Jay
J: I'm begging you, don't do it
T: It has to be done
T: Uno

----

T: Do I look stupid to you?
J: Do you really want me to answer that?

----

J: I don't think water makes you jittery
T: It does if it's laced with caffeine

----

T: Try not to start a war before I get home – you know what it does to the traffic.

----

J: Never mind that, we found the case
J: According to "someone," the murderer has the case, and here we found it, in the hands of our favourite psychopath.
T: I'm not a psychopath, Jason, I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.

----

T: Do people usually assume you're the murderer?
J: Now and then, yes.

----

J: It's okay, guys. I've been in jail before. It's really not that bad. I'm assuming you all know how to make shives?

----

T: do u want to come to my place after school?
J: okay but if anybody sees us I'm only there to steal your bike

----

J: Dickie's a god
T: keep ur worship kink to urself pls
J: No like, God said "let there be light," and and there was light.
J: Dickie said "let's have family night," and here we are

----

T: "Yee who haws last, haw haws best" - Dickie Grayson 2k19

----

J: What up, I'm Jason, I'm 14, and I never fucking learned how to reciprocate emotions or maintain healthy relationships

----

T: When I say "I need some me time" what I actually mean is "I need to eat 14 fudge bars with no one around to see it happen."

----

J: Look at this, another murder
T: Just like that other murder

----

T: I fucking love toast, what absolute genius took a bite of bread and was like "cook it again"
T: unreal

----

J: If you don't fuck off right now I'll weld all your joints shut in your sleep
T: guess I'm gonna be walking like a gingerbread man

----

T: How much do you still hate me?
J: Enough to say no immediately, fuck off

----

J: I broke the lamp
T: bc u were drunk?
J: Because nobody shines brighter than Dickie

----

T: Perhaps take up drinking while crying in a quiet room?

----

J: Do you write to your mom with grammar skills like that?
T: sux my dick & choke

----

T: u believe in stars? Fool. Those r holes poked in the container so we can breathe

----