---- [Proof god is dead] ----

W: lol guys Roy just killed a man

----

R: Woah. This seems serious. What's going on? First contact? Ronald McDonald found dead in Miami? Timmy fell down the well?

----

D: I poisoned someone's drink
W: um???
T: The way this dinner has been going, I hope its mine
R: I wAS GONNA DRINK THAT

----

D: While I should be concerned for Timmy's life, I'm more concerned over the fact that I think those are my shoes...

----

R: Peak adulting is when you start using the phrase "they done lost their damn mind" regarding prices at the grocery store

----

R: I need to break into Dick's office within the next 5 minutes any ideas
T: Maybe if you dress up as Wally they'll let you in
R: Good idea. Will do.
D: You're very creative Timmothy, you've made me imagine something I never dared to think about.
T: Which is?
D: Roy with freckles

----

D: Listen, RoyToy, as your best friend-
R: Wally is my best friend
D: As your best friend-

----

T: hey guys whats my favourite colour!?
W: blue?
T: AHA! WRONG!
T: my favourite colour is- oh wait...
T: it is blue

----

R: Dickie, please don't murder our friend here. Blood takes forever to get out of the carpet.
W: Is that the only problem you have with murder RoyBoy?
R: Of course not Walls. The body would be annoying to hide.

----

D: Listen, okay, sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire. It's no big deal, don't worry about it

----

T: not to be gay but he was manly af
D: a.k.a "im gay as fuck and hes hot as fuck"
T: Shit u rite

----

R: You two. Yes, you and you
R: Stop being gay
R: I get that you have a lot of sexual tension with each other
R: But we have a goddam sport to play

----

W: IM SO CONFLICTED ABOUT WHOS SIDE IM SUPPOSED TO BE ON
W: ON ONE SIDE THERE IS DICKIE, MY PARTNER IN CRIME, MY BOYFRIEND, GENERAL BUCKET OF FUN, MY RIGHT-HAND MAN IN THE RAD HAIRSTYLE SQUAD, LOVE OF MY LIFE, MY FUCKING CINNAMON APPLE
W: AND ON THE OTHER HAND, ROY COMPLIMENTED ME ONCE
W: THIS IS SO HARD GUYS PLEASE STOP FIGHTING

----

T: Shy guy
W: No fuck you its Yoshi
D: Actually it's Rosalina so :// sry ur wrong
R: Princess Daisy.
T: I really thought you would be a Donkey Kong kinda guy
R: She is a strong, independent, often forgotten princess who excels in sports and doesn't get kidnapped. I respect her as an individual

----

T: Roy is... evil? Roy is unyielding? Roy is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
R: I LITERALLY just moved you out of my lap so I could go answer the door

----

D: Over my rich, hot, dead body

----

W: Dickie's little ai thing DEADASS said "Balance: Unlimited" after he paid for coffee
W: I hate it here

----

T: It's 4am but I still be out here scrolling through Disboard looking for new servers to join knowing DAMN well I'll be too anxious to talk and end up leaving like an hour later
D: wow if only you could make ur own server or smth
T: u can
T: u can DO that???
D: yanno right here would be a rly obvious spot for the author to drop a link to a server
D: too bad it doesn't exist

----

W: it's not illegal
R: it's just... there's so much
W: but it's not illegal

----

D: Wally: *staring out a window looking pensive*
D: Me: He's so handsome... So thoughtful... I wonder what he could be thinking about...
D: Wally: wed-nes-day... whensday..? wendesday?

----

T: does anyone have any books on turtles?
W: Hardbacks?
T: yeah, with little heads

----

D: Wally pls don't do this here
W: I ORDERED TWO LARGE FRIES
W: BUT INSTEAD, I GOT 100 FUCKING LITTLE ONES

----

T: Dickie: aight so here's the tea-
T: Bruce: report
T: Dickie: ?
T: Bruce: it's called a report

----

R: you shouldn't be using a straw
T: yeah, yeah, i know it's bad for the environment or whatever, really straws aren't the true issue-
R: No, I just
R: people usually eat lasagne with a fork
R: Dickie pls come take this child back

----

R: Dickie is complaining about the ransom his kidnappers are charging for his safety and I for one am not willing to pool my life savings with Bruce's again so can one of you please go save him

----

W: dont eyelashes count as facial hair
D: im gonna give you one last chance to shut the fuck up
T: No wait, he's got a point

----

T: So I did a little sleuthing on the bad guys like you asked me. You want me to spill the beans?
R: Why would you ever intentionally spill beans? They're one of nature's most densely packed protein sources, and they remain unsullied by flavour.
W: He's drunk, ignore him. Yes tell us about the bad guys

----

D: On this episode of Timmy's Tired Times:
D: Cashier: Ok, that'll be $20
D: Timmy: I don't have that
D: Cashier: ...then I can't sell you this?
D: Timmy, sliding $20 across the counter like a bribe: how about now

----

W: What the fuck guys? You can't just bring a knife to a friendly trivia night- who does that??
R: the prepared

----

T: I'm hurt
R: How would you rate the pain?
T: 0 out of 10
T: Would not recommend

----

D: The printer: ZZZZZZZQAKASLZJAKASKL
D: Wally, with tears in his eyes: don't say that
D: I love my boyfriend

----

D: Why are there napkins on the glass doors?
T: Wally kept walking into the door so I thought this might help him
W: guys!! There's these epic floating napk

----

D: Since when was being a cheeky asshole to Wally my j-
D: Oh my god that's exactly my job

----

R: Timmy: come over
R: Dick: I can't, I'm hiding a body
R: Timmy: my dads not home
R: Dickie: I know : )

----

D: Timmy are you alright? You didn't sleep at all last night.
T: Hey, I got a solid eight minutes in
T: I mean- not consecutively, but it's fine.
T: Ur not even that blurry

----

T: holy strawberries batman
T: we're in a jam!!
D: This is the biggest mistake of my LIFE
D: And keep in mind who I'm dating
T: :(( don't be like that
T: Be proud of me!! I kick ass!!
D: I am proud of u, u funky little bird
D: but you are literally not to leave my SIGHT during this patrol
D: where did you go
T: I noticed Ivy slipping into the warehouse so
T: I follower her
T: is that not what I'm supposed to do
D: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME THAT
T: u were typing!!
D: Just- do not jump through the skylight without me
T: about that
D: I can physically feel my hair going gray what the fuck are you doing to me child
T: : )
D: Oh my god is this how Roy feels

----