---- [Proof god is dead] ----

R: what button do i have to press to hire a deep web assassin to kill him
D: Do you actually want to know or

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D: so you broke into Oliver's house, you say, casually.
W: How'd you manage that?
T: Roy let me in!!!
T: hes so sweet n cute and agreed so easily!!
T: i have a lot of blackmail material on him!!

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W: How are you alive right now
T: i inject caffeine straight into my eyes

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D: *Leg up* *points finger* *kissy mouth* NICE SERVE!!

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R: Inib rue tiid.
D Everyone, wait. I'm getting a text. It's Roy.
W: Where is he? What'd he say?
D: "Inib rue tiid."
R: Ink obrvs whiz
D: Wait, I'm getting another one.
D: "Ink obrvs whiz." These are nonsense.
T: He's been gagged.
D: Of course! He's been gagged!

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D: I love the fact that Bruce looked at Tim, a sleep-deprived corpse of a young boy who can recite all of pride and prejudice backwards but doesn't know the order of the months, and said "yes, that is the one I will put in charge of my billion-dollar company"
D: Tim came into work this morning on a skateboard wearing gray cameo sweatpants, a Star Wars t-shirt under his suit blazer, with a Rolex and a rubber band on the same wrist and rainbow shutter glasses
D: ive never seen the board of directors look so tired

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R: FUCK YOU
R: I GOT A PROBLEM WITH AUTHORITY

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T: MY RISE TO THE TOP WILL BE SWIFT AND FULL OF DESTRUCTION!!!
D: FLY YOU BEAUTIFUL BABY BIRD!!! KILL YOUR BETTERS AND BECOME A SYMBOL OF REBELLION!!!!

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W: Stop. Please, I'm begging you. You awful, awful people.

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R: Every day, my pile of regrets grows a little higher

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D: my special skills r seduction and the moonwalk
D: and my persuasion skill is like maxed out to combat Timmy's Super Reluctance Trait

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T: its been like two minutes and this is already dramatic as hell
T: im having a blast over here
R: Really??? Im tense as HELL
T: im wired to thrive on dysfunction

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D: RoyToy, you look worse than usual. Like a dying gorilla instead of a regular gorilla.
D: Did you sleep last night??
T: he didn't
W: how the fuck do you know that
T: I sent him a meme about James Bond at 5am and he sent me a snap of him trying to burn a pair of handcuffs off in a McDonald's bathroom with a rainbow lighter

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D: watch your fucking vibes when you speak to me

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T: hello 911? somebody reblogged my post on tumblr.com and said "i cant breathe". i think i killed someone. i would like to turn myself in

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T: Listening to Roy try and explain his relationship with Dickie and Walls is the best thing that's happened to me in months
T: Roy: I- Uh, so basically it's like- yanno how sometimes "friends" isn't the right word? No? Oh, well, in that case- um, it's like, we're bro's? But not just bro's? Not to say there's anything "just" about being bro's- it's just- societies heteronormative reaction to valuing romantic relationships more than platonic ones-
T: aidbenjrrj he just stumbled out "he- they're- they're zucchini's?" and walked away

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W: *sings sea shanties of love*

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R: No. No, you don't understand. One time, he went through a break-up and ate all my ice cream but only the vanilla and strawberry parts
W: Oh my GOD, are you still not over that?!
R: There was only chocolate left, Wally, I had to eat all of it. ALL of it, with no break for some strawberry or vanilla
W: It was a rough time for me, okay??
R: Do you know why they make Neapolitan ice cream the way they do, Wally? Do you?
W: Roy-
R: It's so you can taste three flavours at once and then you don't get bored of it, Wally. That's why. And guess what I was when I only had choCOLATE TO EAT THAT DAY
W: LET IT GO ROY

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D: You can't tell me that you're not attracted to a 7ft tall man in riot gear bullying police officers

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R: people say that if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life, but that's bullshit
R: I love what I do, and let me tell you something
R: Ive worked some days

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D: Wally, we probably don't need four ovens in the kitchen
W: you don't know my life

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R: Why is the wifi down
D: Timmy had too much to drink and unplugged the router to give it a hug

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D: If u wanna
W: be my lover
R: you gotta
T: hate cops

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T: Roy just walked into the coffee shop I'm in on a date and I will now livetweet how it goes
T: Date: So do you prefer cats or dogs?
T: Roy, scanning the menu: I don't even see them on here. What page are you on?

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W: What's wrong with me, doc?
D: yeah u got ghosts in ur blood. u should do cocaine about it

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R: I love all of you guys so much but can you please leave me the fuck alone?

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D: Shall I get you a stepstool so you can look me in the eyes when you threaten me?

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R: Speaking of tags, it looks like Wally costs $12.99
W: That's how much the shirt cost the first time. I got it second hand for like 11 cents
D: Timmy's shirt doesn't have a price tag!
R: Because he's priceless
T: or worthless

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T: The behaviour you just exhibited was dumb as fuck. The stupid jumped out

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D: Roy's life advice: "Turn ya' savage up and lose ya feelings"

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T: Oh, great. I lived. The one thing I was trying not to do
W: You, uh, good there Timmy?

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R: Why are there little handprints on the wall?
T: bc I have little hands

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D: I prevented a murder today!
W: How'd you do that?
D: Self control

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D: We'll handle this the way we always do
R: Brute strength?
W: Almost dying?
T: Actually dying?

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R: he knocked that smug look off my face but luckily I was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath

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W: Timmy can't be good at everything. Maybe he's a bad kisser
R: No, he's good at that too
W: What
R: What

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D: Lifehack- if you catch and fight the UPS guy and win you get to keep all the packages in the truck

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W: Timmy, what are your future plans?
T: Lunch
W: I meant like long term plans
T: dinner?

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T: Hey Dickie, Can I borrow 2500 bucks?
D: Why do you need 2500?
T: For an escape room
D: What kind of escape room costs 2500?
T: Hum... Jail

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D: When I said "Bring me back something from the beach," I meant like a seashell or something.
W: well you didn't fucking say that

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T: you know, Wally gives Dickie flowers every day. i wish you'd do that.
R: uh, okay.

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D: Thanks for the flowers RoyBoy!

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W: You're a very nice boy, but...
R: I'm not a boy, I'm a man!
W: Well you're actually a bitch but I was trying to be nice

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W: Have you ever relaxed?
T: Once. It made me very stressed

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D: When you betrayed me, you lost something important.
W: Not my rainbow socks with the individual toes!
D: Yes, you're rainbow socks with the individual toes. I've taken them.

---- [T -> D] ----

T: So
T: hypothetically
T: what's the policy for having large amounts of unexplained sexual tension with the newest large-scale bad guy
T: hypothetically
D: Hypothetically?
T: hypothetically

---- [? -> T] ----

You have one new message from [unknown]

?: I lived, bitch

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