---- [T -> J] ----

T: "sleepy" is so much cuter than "tired" so from now on everyone is legally required to say "sleepy" instead
J: I'm so fucking sleepy of your shit

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J: How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?
T: You haven't said you're sorry
J: I know, I was hoping the number would be zero

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T: Let's watch the ice skating tournament this weekend
J: I didn't know you followed ice skating
T: Well, sometimes the skaters fall

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J: You're stopping a felony and I'm committing one. Remember when we used to have movie night?

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T: DOCTOR BEEFTON HAS ARRIVED AND HE HAS A PHD IN DEATH
T: as well as a doctorate in philosophy and modern linguistics

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J: One problem has been solved but a new one arises

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T: Verily, I say unto thee, lay thine eyes upon the field in which my fucks are grown and behold that it is barren
T: - Mood, 24:7

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J: Fuck not the wasps!!
J: Meet me behind the alley Tom Nook!!
J: No Stitches!! Why did you move away!!?

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T: two bangs, three aderalls, one brain cell
T: what the fuckkk
T: guess what I had for breakfast?
T: bang
T: guess what I had for lunch?
T: bang
T: guess what I had for dinner?
T: a felony

----

J: I just thought he needed to listen to common sense and reasonable discourse
T: Please tell me those aren't the names of your fists
J: I can tell you no such thing

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T: u used me as a meme u owe me 5 dollars

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J: Patrol with Roy is the wildest thing
J: Roy @ criminals: prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law

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T: I'm a snail and god is salting me

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J: confusion consumes me

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T: when you count, your lips don't touch until 1 million

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J: Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
T: A picture of me?
J: No, the definition of "idiot," which you fucking are

---- [Proof god is dead] ----

R: @God are you seeing this bullshit
D: WAIT
God: Fucking unbelievable, if I may say.

God has left chat [Proof God Is Dead].

R: WHAT THE FUCK
W: H O LY MO L Y
T: HOLY FUCK
J: W HO MST WAS THAT WHAT THE FUCK
D: DAMMIT ROY, I SAID WAIT 

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J: I don't like it
T: What a surprise, Jay doesn't like something again
R: What is it this time?
W: Mints?
D: The Olympics?
T: Puppies?

----

D: Watching Timmy freak out about liking Jay was like watching my situation with Wally, but in third person.

----

D: She was poetry, but he couldn't read.
W: His name was Jarred, he's nineteen.
J: When his parents built a very strange machine.
R: Watch that scene dig it the dancing queen!
T: AAAAAYYY MACARENA!

----

D: Timmy, your response?
T: I wasn't listening but I strongly disagree with Jay

----

T: Bruce just banned overly specific nicknames in the cave and the whole team is staring at Bat Snitch Jay The Good Time Ruiner.

----

J: I am a very bad person. Very, very bad person. I am a horrible person.
Seen by all at 4:20AM
J:"No you're not, Jason! We still love you, Jason!"
Seen by all at 4:22AM

----

J: Here's a fun Christmas idea: hang mistletoe but instead of kissing, you have to fight whoever is under it
D: Absolutely.
D: Timmy, go get a ladder, we'll need it to get the Christmas decorations from the attic.

----

R: Rules are made to be broken.
W: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken!
T: Uh, piñatas
J: Glow sticks
D: Karate boards...
R: Rules.

----

J: I love Tim until he speaks
T: me too

----

T: Scrum-diddly-scrumptious
W: What is he saying
J: I don't know but he's been saying it for the last thirty minutes and I'm this close to silencing him forever
T: Scrum-diddly-scrumptious

----

J: 'twas glorious
J: he turned bright fucking red. i thought he died
T: i ascended alright
J: gay
D: gay
W: gay
R: gay

---- [T -> J] ----

T: disrespect me again and I'll determine your bodies resonant frequency and play a jaunty horn solo that boils your miserable organs inside out

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J: The sky's so blue yet my futures so dark

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T: This is bad! Girls might start to recognize us for who we actually are!
J: Well you're fucked then, because you're a bitch

----

J: It has been merely a few days since our fraternization first began however our perception displays your personality to be the utmost depiction of disintegration feces steeped most thoroughly in the dregs of garbage

----

T: ocean pollution is a huge problem but there is an obvious solution. Raccoons love to eat garbage. Therefore, if we trained a raccoon navy, they'd be able to go out into the sea and eat the ocean garbage. I don't see how this plan could go wrong. We should also give them swords.

----

J: how do I reach heaven through violence
T: it's called a crusade and you need to get the Pope's permission first

----

T: when you call 'shotgun' but the kidnapper still throws you in the trunk

----

J: Shhh...
J: You hear that? It's the sound of you, painfully dying

----

T: His name is little king trash mouth. He's gay.

----

J: life is like chess
J: I hate it

----

T: people think I'm book smart but I'm just 99% bullshit and 1% dinosaur trivia

----

J: Ready for your exam?
T: I'm confident

----

T: thoughts on Batman?
J: He says "hello" and I want to die again

----

J: How was your exam?
T: I couldn't read it, in fact, I couldn't see anything.

----

T: I have no idea what I'm doing
T: but I know I'm doing it really, really well

----

J: What's a baby chicken?
T: is this a trick question
J: Just answer
T: a chick?
J: And what's a baby duck?
T: a di..ck?
T: wait

----

T: I'm packing my crayons and I'm leaving

----

J: I've only just arrived and already i can't see this turning out well

----

T: no YOU live in a society, I live in my meticulously crafted daydream universe that I've been using as a coping mechanism since childhood

----

J: How is everyone I know this gay and useless
T: They get it from u

----

T: Me: the moon controls the tides and the human psyche. Wolves know that, it's why they howl at her. It's a tribute
T: My therapist: let's talk about your father
T: Me: no

----

T: Listening to Bruce and Clark try and talk Dickie out of marrying Wally any given day now is fucking hilarious
T: it's basically just:
T: "We agreed to wait at least a month after you graduated."
T: "I know, but I didn't think it would take this long holy shit."
T: "Dick, it's just a few more weeks."
T: "You guys got to get married!"
T: "We're?? Adults???"
T: "I'm technically an adult-"
T: "You're not getting married."
T: "...he asked me to move in with him"
T: "...his apartment is in a cheap, unsanitary, dangerous-" "
T: "Walls has a really nice place and you know it??? but that doesn't matter anyway because he meant like, move in with him. Like we get a new apartment. Together."
T: (sigh) "You really love him, don't you?"
T: "Yeah."
T: "...You're 19, and you know your always free to come and go, and your stuff is already split between here and his place-"
T: "Did you just give me permission to move in with my boyfriend."
T: "Yes."
T: "Does that mean I can also-"
T: "You're not getting married."

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