...Someone's behind me?

I sense someone's presence behind me, and the second I turn around, someone pushes me hard. I roll down the steps, and my whole body slams against the cold concrete.

"...Ughhh..."

I must have gotten hurt because I can't move a muscle. I have a splitting headache... Whoever pushed me is running away, leaving me behind. I hear their footsteps. My legs and arms feel numb, but my fingers were cold.

It's all dark around here, and I can't see anything. My consciousness is slipping away, so I try to remember his tender smile.

...I have... to call... him... I'm sure he's... worried... 

I reach out my hands desperately but only grab air... And suddenly, I lose consciousness.

What happened to me? Oh, that's right...

I wake up in an unfamiliar room...

"Owww..."

It feels like a truck is rolling over the bones of my neck and head. The vertebrae break, the brains pop and ooze. A thousand flashlights shine in my eyes. The world tilts, then I black out.

"...Natalie..?"

My brain feels foggy as I look around. There's a haggard looking man sitting next to me.

"...I'm so glad you're awake," he said. "You were asleep for days. I was so worried..."

"...Where am I?"

"...Huh?" The man looks puzzled and squeezes my hand.

"...Who... Who are you?" I ask tentatively, pulling my hand away from his as I stare at him.

...I don't know this man.

"...Natalie...?"

...Who's Natalie...? Is that me...? Who is he...? Why am I here...?

For some reason, I feel like I've lost something very important. But I don't know what it is. I just stare absently at the stranger before me.

"...What are you talking about? It's me," the stranger answers, holding my hand in his.

But no matter how long I stare at him, I just don't recognize him.

"...I'm sorry. Have we met before?"

He opens his eyes wide and then suddenly loosens his grip on my hand.

"...I'm a doctor. I helped you because you were seriously injured."

"Oh. Thank you so much."

"...Are you sure you don't know who I am?"

"What?"

He reaches out to touch my face. I stare at him, thinking that's odd, and he lowers his hand.

Why does he look so sad?

"...It's nothing," he says.

"How did I get hurt?" I ask.

"You fell down the stairs. You don't remember?"

"I'm sorry, I don't remember mu- Owww!"

I try to remember, but then searing pain shoots through my head.

"...All right. Let me give you an exam. You hit your head, and you sprained your ankle."

"Okay..."

"Do you remember Brittany and Valerie?"

"You mean my girlfriends? Yes... Are you a friend of theirs or something?"

His face suddenly darkens as he continues his exam.

What's wrong with him? Is it because there's something seriously wrong with me?!

Well, there must be because I can't even remember getting hurt.

"...I'll explain your condition to everyone tomorrow," he states.

"Oh, that's right... I wasn't able to work while I was sleeping..." I imply. "I bet I caused a lot of trouble for everyone."

"...It's all right. Just take it easy today."

"Thanks so much for taking care of me."

Something just doesn't feel right about this, I think as I stare at the doctor's profile.

The next day... All my friends are all gathered around my bed.

"Natalie, are you okay?" Kylie asks.

"We heard you fell down the stairs," Kenzie says, looking concerned.

"Yes... I'm sorry I had to take off work," I answer.

"Huh? She looks normal to me, Doc!" Madison implies.

"So? What's her condition, Matt?" Brittany asks.

"...She has a bad sprain, so she won't be able to walk for a while," Matt answers.

"I'm more curious about the other thing you mentioned," Valerie implies.

"...It's just as I said," Matt says.

"Natalie. This doctor is Matthew Sevardes," Brittany explains. "He went to high school with Valerie and me."

'What? Oh, so that's how you all know each other!" I realize.

"...She really doesn't remember you," Brittany sadly says.

"Da hell..." Madison sighs.

"Matt, did you explain who you are?" Kylie asks, concerningly.

"...No, I haven't brought it up," Matt sighs.

"But..." Kenzie starts.

"...She's suffered head trauma. I shouldn't agitate her," Matt states.

"...Do you think she'll make a full recovery?" Valerie asks.

"I can't speak to that. I examined her, but I don't see any other abnormalities. Sometimes rehabilitation can take years... Sometimes a patient can never fully recover," Matt answers.

Everyone falls silent and has conflicted expressions on their faces.

I just want to hurry up and get better, so I can get out of here.

I absently stare at the bandage around my ankle and let out a small sigh.

Several days later...

"Natalie, may I come in?" Matt asks.

I'm reading a book before bed when Dr. Sevardes knocks on my door. I let him in and he's carrying a tray with something on it that smells wonderful.

"Something to help you sleep. It's herbal tea."

"Wow, thank you so much!"

I take the cup and steam wafts up from it. His kindness really touches my heart and makes me feel warm inside.

"You got to chat with everyone a lot today, did you?" he implies.

"Yes. I was a little worried about work and them," I answer. "But I feel better after talking to them."

"Good," he softly smiles.

I take a sip of the herbal tea, the sweet flavor spreading throughout my mouth. It warms up my body in no time, and I start to feel relaxed and sleepy.

"I must be really clumsy if I fell so hard down the stairs and got amnesia," I say. "I'm causing a lot of trouble for you. I hope I get better soon so I can leave here."

"You're not causing me any trouble at all," he replies. "You can stay here for as long as you like, Natalie."

"Hehe. You're a really nice person, Dr. Sevardes."

Dr. Sevardes' smile is extremely tender. It feels so peaceful, my eyelids grow heavy as we talk.

"Mmm..."

I can't fight off sleep anymore, and my head falls upon the pillow mid-conversation. I'm just about to start dreaming when I feel him gently put a blanket over my shoulders.

"...Goodnight, Natalie. I'm sorry... It's all... my fault..." He whispers so quietly, it's like his voice is vanishing.

I'm probably dreaming and just hearing things anyway... I think absently as I surrender and fall fast asleep.

"Excuse me."

I take the sandwich I prepared to Dr. Sevardes' study. There's unbelievable amount of medical texts scattered about.

"...Natalie? What's wrong?" Matt asks.

That's my line!

When he looks up from his book, I notice dark circles and bags under his eyes.

"I heard you weren't eating, so I prepare you a sandwich," I answer.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me," he says.

"That's not really very convincing when you look so exhausted. I'm going to stay here until you finish eating."

"...Fine. I'll eat." He smiles wryly and reaches out towards the sandwich. He takes a tiny bite of it and then drinks some tea. "It's been about two weeks since I ate solid food."

"How in the world do you survive?"

"...My body get all the nutrients it needs from vitamins..."

Wow, I can't believe that...

"Dr. Sevardes, your body won't be able to handle that!"

"...I don't care..."

"You shouldn't say things like that!"

Matt falls silent.

"Promise me that you'll eat something," I imply. "Otherwise, I won't let you treat me anymore."

"Natalie... I suppose that part of you hasn't changed."

"...What?"

That face again. Why?

He stares at me. His smile is somewhat sad, and my heart starts to ache a little.

"Morning, Doctor."

"Zzzz... Please come back..."

Hm? He's still sitting in the same spot he was when I left last night. And look at those bags under his eyes...

He's surrounded by a mountain of medical texts.

"Did you stay up all night reading these?" I ask.

Matt didn't answer back.

"Are you listening, Doctor?"

"Oh... Natalie. What's wrong?"

"Were you up this whole time?"

"I was... I have to read up on my next surgery."

"That's so careless! What if you pass out during the operation?!"

"...I'm used to it. I always do this."

...Why does he go to such great lengths for his work?

He returns his gaze to his book and I study his face.

"You need to sleep, even if it's just a little bit," I state.

"But I need to find a way to cure you..." he assures.

"You need to take care of yourself first."

"...You're more important to me." He looks up and stares into my eyes. His expression is so serious, my heart skips a beat.

...I bet he says that to everyone. He's just being nice because I'm his patient. I shouldn't take it the wrong way.

I inwardly take a few deep breaths and try to maintain my composure.

"Anyway, just eat. Promise me," I say.

"...All right," he promises.

"The swelling and cuts are gone. Does it hurt?" the doctor questions me.

"No, it's fine. I'm totally healed," I answer.

"...I'm glad."

I'm never quite sure what he's thinking...

Dr. Sevardes is mysterious as usual. But lately, he's been opening up to me bit by bit.

"The weather's nice today. Shall we go on a picnic?" Matt offered.

"Can I go outside?" I wonder.

"You've been cooped up inside for so long, it will be good to get out for a change."

"...Watch your step," Matt put in. "Shall we walk slower?"

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm really fine," I assure him.

"No, you're still not fully healed."

"...Give me your hand."

I do as he says and he gently takes my hand in his. When I feel his chilly fingertips lace through mine, my heart starts pounding.

"...I don't want you to be hurt again," he states.

He's so thoughtful. He's a really kind man... I wish I could hold his hand forever.

"...What's wrong?" Matt wonders. "Are you not feeling well?"

"I-It's nothing," I answer. "Just feel a little strange because I haven't been outside in a while."

...Why did I think that just now? I don't have a relationship like that with him.

Those thoughts just popped into my head out of nowhere, and I try to push them away. We sit down on the grass and enjoy the view, a gentle breezes caressing my cheeks.

"This feels so nice. I haven't been able to go outside much," I admit. "But aren't you busy with work, Doctor?"

"No... This is my time to spend with you, Natalie," he smiles and touches my head. He gently smoothes down my hair that got tousled from the wind. "Brittany says she's going to do another charity ball."

"Then you'll be very busy again, won't you?" I wonder.

"Yes, but if it saves someone's life, it's worth it. The next operation I'm going to do is on a child."

It's unusual for him to tell me so much about his personal life. But I'm happy to chat with him, and I realize I have a big smile on my face.

"I made you lunch." Matt spreads out a picnic blanket and puts out sandwiches and fruit.

"Wow! Did you make all this?!" I ask with a smile.

"Yes. All your favorites are here," he softly smiles back.

"Thank you so much."

It really is all my favorites... But how did he know?

I smile and stuff my face full of sandwich, and he gazes at me happily. As we enjoy our lunch, a stray cat passes by us.

"Oh, a kitty!" Dr. Sevardes chases after it and happily picks it. The cat must be used to be with people because it doesn't protest at all. "...So cute... Want to pet it with me?"

The glimpse of his innocent smile makes my heart start pounding.

Huh? Why am I feeling this way? I'm acting strangely today...

We stroke the cat's soft fur together, and it starts purring. Apparently, satisfied with the attention, the cat stands up and plods down the path from which it came.

"Hehe. What a cute kitty," I comment with a smile.

"Natalie, you look so happy," Matt observes with a smile. "...I wish you would always smile like that."

"I'm happy because you're taking such good care of me."

"...I just did everything I could, as a doctor."

The mood between us is peaceful and sweet.

I really need to get my memory back, but...

Dr. Sevardes is so unfair. Spending time together with him like this makes me want to not remember.

"I need to get better so I can leave, don't I?" I ask.

"...I don't want you to leave," Matt immediately replies.

"...What?"

"I want to keep you in this house forever." He smiles at me. He's so handsome, and when he stares at me like that I start to blush.

I wish this moment would last forever... But it's not fair to you to keep you here if you can't remember.

He's normally not very chatty... So when he opens up like this, I'm never sure what to do.

I try to hide my emotions by taking a sip of the fragrant tea. I gaze at the beautiful roses blooming in the flowerpots and the cherry blossoms trees right above our heads. 

The flower petals gently flutter down to the ground, scattering around and on us, until they fly away in the gentle breeze along with my hair. Suddenly, something pulls at me.

Hm? I feel like I've done this before. I feel like I had tea outside with someone on a sunny day like this... And I feel like it was a lot of fun...

"...Natalie?" Matt looks at me with concern.

I try to figure out the source of this deja vu, but my head starts throbbing. So I just shake my head, unable to remember anything.

A few days later...

I decided that my daily chore here in his home will be to clean Dr. Sevardes' study.

"...Natalie. Please just sit still somewhere," he says, looking worryingly at me.

"But my sprain is already healed," I imply. "I'm so much better. I just want to repay you."

"You don't have to worry about that... You being here is enough for me."

"I can't let you do that. You've already done so much for me. Your study gets messy so quickly. Plus, I like to move around."

I start picking up books and documents around the study before he can protest any further. Despite cleaning every day, the study overflows with new books he brings home.

"Isn't it about time for your surgery, anyway?" I wonder.

"Oh, that's right... Natalie, please don't push yourself. Make sure you rest and take tea time," Matt informs me.

"Hehe. You don't have to worry so much. I'll be fine."

"Alright. I'll be going then."

Dr. Sevardes is always very protective of me. I smile at him, and suddenly he reaches out to my arm.

"...Ah, nothing. It's nothing," Matt admit. "Make sure you stay here, okay?"

"Dr. Sevardes?"

What does that mean?

He pulls his hand back and turns around. There's so much sadness and pain on his face as he leaves.

"Alright, I should get this place clean while he's gone."

I roll up my sleeves and start collecting books that are scattered around. I lift up a stack of documents from the desk when something flutters to the floor.

"What's this? A stack of letters?"

I flip through the letters that are in Dr. Sevardes' handwriting.

You look so adorable when you sleep. 

I always want to finish work quickly knowing you're waiting for me. 

I've never felt this way before.

"...Maybe these are letters for his girlfriend or something?"

I feel guilty, but I'm so curious I continue reading.

I love everything about you. You're the most precious thing in the world to me.

"...Dr. Sevardes' girlfriend... Well, no wonder he has a girlfriend. He's handsome and kind... "

Ahh, it hurts...

As I flip through the notes, my chest starts to hurt for some reason.

...Maybe I'm still not fully recovered... My memory hasn't returned yet, so maybe it's pain from my injuries.

I let out a little sigh and close my eyes. And then I put the notes back as if I'm trying to close up these feelings I have in my heart.

It's been several days since I found those letters in Dr. Sevardes' study.

I wonder what his girlfriend is like? She seems really important to him.

Suddenly, I realize it's all I can think about lately.

"Natalie... Are you thinking about something?" I'm spacing out when Dr. Sevardes suddenly calls out to me. I see him carrying some herbal tea. "...Sugar and milk like always?"

"Yes, thank you," I reply. "I can make my own tea, you know."

"I do it because I want to. I just want you to smile."

I take a sip of the tea, and it's sweet like it always is.

"...Everyone was at the penthouse lounge today," Matt mentions.

"Was there a meeting about the charity balls?" I wonder.

"No. Valerie and Britt were drinking and playing poker, and Madison was taking a nap."

"So they're playing and slacking off like always, hm?"

"Yes, I suppose you could say that."

"They're always like that..."

I start to feel a little nostalgic about the penthouse lounge.

I haven't been with them in a very long time now.

"I saw Brittany in the hallway, and she had a bunch of men with her," he adds.

"That's Britt for you," I say.

"...Brittany's always like that, isn't she? Always surrounded by men who aren't her boyfriends." He shrugs and chuckles wryly.

Maybe I can ask him now...

"...What about you, Doctor?" I ask.

"Hm?"

"I accidently saw your notes... You have a girlfriend, right?" I try to ask casually.

He opens his eyes wide with surprise. "Why are you asking that?"

"...What's she like?"

He looks down, as if unsure how to answer the question. "I can't see her right now because of... some circumstances.

"Oh, so like a long-distance relationship?" I refer.

"Well, she's actually very near, but far away," he corrects. "She's all I think about." A sad expression crosses his face and he balls his hands into fists. His voice sounds strained and wavers slightly. "...She's irreplaceable. She saved me. I'll never find anyone in the world like her. And I would do anything she wanted to me." He says earnestly. His words are so open and honest, but it feels like I just got hit in the chest. "...It's late. You should go to bed, Natalie."

"Okay..."

I was so curious about his girlfriend... But now that I know about her, it hurts so much I regret ever asking.

"...Goodnight, Natalie." Matt closes my bedroom door, but I can't get what he said before out of my mind.

...Why did I ask him that? I should never have asked if it meant I had to see that look on his face.

I have my usual herbal tea... but that night I can't sleep at all. I lift up the blanket off of my body and walk to the window. Every time I look outside the window, I see those cherry blossoms. The petals look like stars flying into the starry night sky. Looking into the night, I place my hands to my heart.

Love? Maybe that is what I'm feeling. Deep down, I knew it was true.

I'm always looking around for Dr. Sevardes.

It reminds me of the days when he was here to hold my hand and the promises we've made along still keeps me hanging on. If only he held me like lovers would...

I feel so happy when I see him, and every time we talk, my heart pounds.

It's wrong of me to want to be with him all the time, though... Because he already has someone that he's madly in love with. 

I recall how passionately he talked about her. I look down, my heart squeezing painfully.

I need to forget about him. He's not interested in me.

But I just can't get over him so easily. I'm trying to get over him is what I've tried to do. I can't get him out of my mind.

Why can't we be together?

Talking to my heart, I'm trying to explain that our 'love' has faded away... Just like the seasons go by and now it's here again. I know that it is time for me to be set free, but...

There is still an emptiness inside me...

My life without Dr. Sevardes... It's just hard for me to imagine.

No matter what had or would happen to us, I know that I should move on.

I decide that I should leave and return back home. I'll just cause him more trouble if I continue to stay. I wonder what will happen I encounter his girlfriend. I'm sure it won't be pretty. I went to my closet and grab a suitcase and fill it up with my clothes and my bare necessities. I neatly fix the bed and turn out the lights. Before I leave the room, I look out the window once last time seeing the cherry blossoms.

Although he's far away, I feel like I can hear him and feel him next to me...

I shake my head, shaking away my feelings and emotions. I grab my suitcase and quietly left the bedroom. On my way out, I past the doctor's office, where I know that he's busy reading his medical text and staying up all night.

Thank you so much... For everything... Goodbye...

I leave behind what was left of whatever I lost within my amnesia and walk outside into the night. 

Sakura hira hira...

Sakura maichiru...

As I was walking away, I step on what was left and slowly fading away that night....