"I can't help what I am and you know that!" I yelled in his face as he held me close to his chest.  "Baby I know but I also know you're better than this." He said being calm.  "I'm sorry!  I've tried and can't be this perfect thing you want me to be! " At that moment I had fallen.  I broke down in his arms.  Tears stained my face and his grey shirt that I had gripped onto.  "Shh. It's okay baby.  I'm here.  I love you. " He said and held me closer to him.  His touch so warm.  I had held this back for so long.  I never wanted anyone or anything to see me like this.  No matter how much I loved them.  "I give my best smile...  My last laugh.  I fight because I don't know where I belong!!" I yell through my tears.  "Stop it Mara!  You belong with me.  Stop abusing yourself over this.  You belong here.  You don't need anything more then the love that is here for you." He told me.  "But... "