We're going to run away.

I'm finally going to get out of this town.

Out of my life.

Out of my past.

He's over there buying tickets.

We're in the train station. I used to like watching the trains here. I wonder how anything can move such a big lump of metal.

He turns around.

He's walking towards me.

We don't break eye contact.

He makes my heart race.

He hugs me. I like feeling the pressure between our two bodies.

"You're cold."

I'm not cold. I'm shivering. Because he's here.

He is so exhilarating. He makes me excited.

"Hey, you."

I look back up at him.

"You good?"

He strokes my cheek. He looks into my eyes.

It's so easy to get lost in his eyes.

He looks at my lips.

He kisses me gently.

I look back up at him.

"Did you get the tickets?"

"Just. We don't have enough money to survive when we get there though."

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know."

"What did you do, Logan?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me the truth."

"Well, I didn't choose the location."

"What?"

"I asked the woman to take us somewhere."

"Logan, this is crazy."

"Oscar. We are crazy."

He's right.

"It leaves in a week."

I start to feel worried again.

I have to wait a whole week to get out of here. I might have to face Lilly. Face anyone.

I've messed up.

I love Lilly.

But I've mixed up my best friend and my love.

And it's lasted so long.

Is there anyway I can turn this around?

Maybe by escaping here.

That's the only way out.

I can finally explore the world.

He grabs my hand and takes me outside. The air is cold but his hand is warm.

"We need to get money."

I don't have anywhere to go.

But Logan has no one at all.

He stays in Alexandra's flat. They're running on nothing but Chinese takeaway.

Their foster parents left them when they both became too much of a  burden. Alexandra's anti-androgens had become too expensive and Logan's foster parents couldn't afford his pills for depression.

"Do you want me to ask my parents?"

"You don't have to do that." He answers without turning to me.

"They're the only people we can go to."

"We can ask Lilly."

"I am not asking Lilly."

He turns now, and looks at me.

"I love your freckles."

"Logan, stop it. I'm going to my parents."

I start walking to the bus stop.

He tries to grab my hand.

"I'll find a way, Oscar!"

"Don't lie to me Logan. Don't lie to yourself."

The bus is about to leave. I step on and look back at him.

"Go home, Logan."

"But Oscar..."

"I'll call you."

The bus starts to move. I stay at the door watching him through the window. He grows smaller and smaller but never stops looking at me. My breath starts to cloud up on the window, so I have to wipe it away.

The house is large. A perfectly trimmed garden just like how it used to be.

I'm shaking as I walk up to the door.

I haven't seen them in a while.

I knock. My dad answers the door.
"What do you want?"
"U-um."
"Come inside. Your mother won't be happy to see you."

She's sitting in the armchair. Sewing. Sewing a sweater. For that darn cat. The cat that she seemed to love more than me. The house is bleak.

"What's he doing here?"
She doesn't even address me with my name.
"Didn't say yet. Better be important."
"I need money."

My mum stands up.
"The little bastard comes in here, having not seen his mother for months, and asks for money."
"You're the one who doesn't want to talk to me."
"Don't talk back to your mother like that."

I don't say anything for a while.

"Why do you need money, son?"
"Don't call me son."
"I'm your father, I'm allowed to."

My mother chimed in.
"How was your wedding?"

"Fine."

"Are you spending the money on Lilly? That girl spends so much. Have you seen what she wears?"
"Mum, don't talk about Lilly like that."
"What are you going to buy her?"
"Mum, I'm not buying her anything."
"Maybe a nice dress?"
"MUM! I'M LEAVING THIS STUPID TOWN."

My dad pushed me.

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT OR I WON'T HESITATE TO HIT YOU."

"Michael, don't. You're running away? I knew Lilly was no good."

"I'm not running away with Lilly."

"You won't survive on your own, Oscar."

"I'm running away with Logan."

"Logan? That overly emotional child?"

"He's not a child."

"Stop defending your friends. Are you doing it because that little gay boy has cursed you?"

He laughed.

It was hard to say it. I was choking on my own words.

"It's not a curse."

My dad turns to me. I can see the anger in his eyes growing.

"What did you just say?"

"Dad. I'm gay."

He kicks the table. It hits the floor and cracks. The flower pot tumbles off and smashes.

"MY FUCKING SON MUST BE JOKING."

"STOP DAD."

"TELL ME YOU'RE KIDDING."

"I-I'm not kidding."

He turns to face away, then turns back to me.

"You are no son of mine."

First, he hits my face. I can feel the pain tingling through my cheek.

"SUCH A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT," he yells.

My mum leaves.

He kicks me.

He takes a book and throws it.

I'm crying. I'm on the floor.

The pain grows.

I wait till I can hear silence.

I can hardly move.

My dad's not here anymore.

I run to the door, and stagger out.

My body stings.

I can't go to Logan.

He'll never let me go anywhere again.

I can't risk upsetting him.

But I must go somewhere.

I can feel the blood, warm and sticky.

I can only think of one place.

Lilly.