Phil's POV

What was supposed to be an hour or two of me finding out if my best friend is still my best friend turned out to be a huge gaming fest until maybe one o'clock in the morning.

I didn't talk to her about her life before the crash, as PJ said it might cause too much stress if she feels as if I'm trying to force those memories onto her, and talk about our lives now instead.

And I couldn't be happier to know that she was still the girl I grew up with. In fact, nothing's really changed.

I mean, like everyone she has come across new things to love, like Twenty One Pilots, Sherlock, etcetera, but that doesn't mean her taste has changed completely.

She's still that nerdy weirdo that I never get tired of.

"Is that really the time?" She suddenly shrieks, while dancing to Toxic with PJ. Forgetting that she's in a serious battle, she frantically runs around the room grabbing her coat and purse.

"Y/N/N, we don't have to go home. We can just stay here," PJ says, still dancing.

"No, I can't. No offence, but I just met these people. Well, I just met Dan... I don't know. I just-"

I raise my hand, signalling for her to stop. "No, you're right. PJ, can you take her home? If she wants to go, let her go."

He sighs and nods, exiting the game. "Come on, then."

I feel tempted to hug Y/N, like I used to do when her mum stormed over to my house after Y/N didn't go home when she was asked. I always thought if I gave her a long, big, meaningful hug, like it was the last time I'd ever see her, that her mum would just sigh and let her stay maybe ten minutes later.

But I know how confused and stunned she must still feel at the moment. I try to imagine being in her situation: meeting someone for what you think is the first time then them claiming to be your life long best friend. The first thing you'd feel would be confusion, then you'd have that painful pang of guilt hit you directly in the heart like a bullet for forgetting that such an important person exists. So I restrain myself from hugging her, just to save things being awkward.

With sad eyes, she waves at us and mutters a goodbye, then leaves with PJ.

But the sadness in her eyes wasn't because she felt bad for forgetting me, like they should be.

It was more of a look of want. Like taking something important away. It was the same way she looked at me that day I told her I wanted nothing to do with her anymore, the same way she looked at me the day she moved to Brighton, the same way she looked at me whenever we ended a Skype call or had to go back home after our holidays were over.

Somewhere, trapped away deep in her mind, she has all her memories of me and our childhood, and they're trying to break free. But they're struggling.

I can free those memories. I just need her to trust me enough to spend more time with me. Then maybe, just maybe, I can bring those memories back. And I have the perfect way of doing so.

Your POV

"Thanks, PJ. I know you wanted your chocolate, which you would still never have gotten even if we finished the dance, 'cause I was going to kick your arse, but I couldn't be there anymore."

"It's fine. I've been through the process, I know what's going on. But you should maybe try to hang out with Phil more, like you did with me."

I shake my head. "But all I feel is guilt. Even if you've lost every single memory you've ever had, it surely wouldn't take long to remember your best friend since childhood, would it?"

"Y/N-"

"I mean, I have memories often come back to me, but none about him. Or even my dad," I cut him off.

"Shut up, will you?" I go silent. "You need to calm down. None of this is your fault. Now, think of the positives. You just got in a car! Twice!"

I stand in the middle of my living room, frozen in shock. I did!

I hadn't even noticed it. The first time I was a bit shaky and nervous, but I had Phil by my side to comfort me. The second time I just got in and didn't realise.

Who is this miracle and how did I forget him so easily? Has he always been like this? Had he always been right beside me when I needed him?

I'm snapped out of thought as PJ announces he is going to bed.

"Okay. And those are new sheets, behave in there, please."

PJ laughs a laugh so loud, I swear I feel the house shake. "No matter what situation you're in, you can always manage to make a bad joke."

"Isn't that why I'm here?" I giggle and listen to his door shut.

A yawn escapes my mouth, and I feel as if I can just drop onto the floor and go to sleep.

I tiredly walk to my room, pick up my pyjamas and get changed.

I then walk into my bathroom, or ensuite, as fancy people say, and get all those 'before bed' necessities done.

I brush my teeth, brush my hair, etcetera. As I run the brush through my H/C hair, I find myself staring in the mirror.

This is a common thing for me. I will stare at myself in the mirror, looking deeply into the reflection of my E/C eyes, like I'm challenging myself. Then, although I'm not supposed to, I push myself to remember.

I know I must sound like a loser, but I just need those memories back. I want to stare at a photograph from before the crash and say, "That's when we went to Disney Land," or, "Hey, I remember that day! Damn, that was such a good concert," and have all the memories come flooding back with a smile on my face as every detail floats through my head.

Come on, try to remember. Anything, anything you want to show me, brain, anything!

But nothing ever really happens. I might remember a meal I ate when I was fourteen, or my mum shouting at me for spilling orange juice all over the floor and onto the new rug when I was ten, but nothing that really feels important.

But I never give up.

I stare at the girl in the mirror, the girl who is still a mystery to me. She's a puzzle with all the pieces scattered far from her grasp, and she must push harder to reach them.

As I stare into her eyes, I try to force her to remember Phil.

C'mon, you can't just forget a guy like this! Please, just give me something! Anything about him! Just let me remember Phil Lester...