---- [Proof god is dead] ----

D: "you can't reclaim the f slur" I'm not reclaiming it I'm using it as a slur

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R: I'm gonna let God fix it, cause if I fix it I'm going to jail

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T: Pine has no place in this house. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses

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B: Why are we meeting in a parking garage?
J: Because what we are doing is unsavoury and we're hiding from God.

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T: Hi, guys. Um, have either of you seen the French press?
R: The French press is in cupboard 64B. Did you not consult your item map?
T: No, I looked there. The Tagines in 64B.
R: What is the Tagine doing in 64 frickin' B?!
W: I used the French press. Everybody chill out. So it's in here somewhere.
R: Wally, you know you're not allowed to use the French press.

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T: You have the attention span of an elderly goldfish!

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D: no we DONT live in a society we live in the animal kingdom and I am the apex predator gnawing hungrily on your marrow

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W: Roy passing someone: u slow bitch
W: Roy being passed: on speed racer
R: the exact speed at which I drive is the most correct and everyone else is stupid and should lose their licenses

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B: Do you trust them?
D: I absolutely trust them
B: they're not like, maniacs right?
D:
D: ...I absolutely trust them

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R: Oh you're stupid huh? I can work with stupid, daddy likey dummy
J: Once again, I'm done arguing in 2021 if we disagree on something I'm straight up just killing you

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T: is going to bed and not wanting to wake up passive or active suicidal idealization?

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B: Latching onto irrational anger at unreachable men to cope with anger

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T: Hoogle, how to E-boy?
D: Get some big ol chains for ur keans
T: SOME OL CHAINS FOR MY KKEANS

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W: Mmmm economical

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D: Friendly reminder that there is no such thing as a mature child. its an oxymoron, a child can be well-read and well-spoken. they can be smart and they can be great thinkers, but they cannot be mature.

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K: How are good boyfriends all so strong and so babie at the same time??? The duality! The diversity! The versatility! Absolutely incredible!

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D: today's date is the 3rd? what's next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift?

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T: Steph's ex-boyfriends be like. boyloser. guyfailure. dudenobody

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B: Heavy is the chest that breasts boobily down the stairs

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T: Can someone please explain to me what evaporated milk is? Wouldn't that just be gas by definition? I live in constant fear
R: no no it's what left behind after the milk has been evaporated cuz only the water goes, not the other stuff
T: THERE'S WATER IN MILK?
R: WHAT DID YOU THINK THE LIQUID WAS?
T: IDK ISNT MILK ITS OWN LIQUID?
R: NO IT'S MILK-STUFF MIXED WITH WATER
T: MILK STUFF? DOESN'T IT JUST COME FROM THE COW'S TIT?
R: ITS LIKE TIT JUICE, THERE IS WATER IN JUICE AND THERE IS WATER IN MILK
C: It's fat droplets suspended in water, with some nutrients and so forth dissolved in it. You know, like ranch dressing. Evaporated milk is just dehydrated milk.
K: when M'gann and I went to public school somebody in our class assumed milk was its own element on the periodic table
D: mmmm Milk, the forbidden 119th element
W: the only question left is if it's a metal, non-metal, or metalloid.
B: I would classify it as a special case of hafnium, reclassified as a lanthanide. This has fascinating implications for electron orbital geometry. I don't know how the periodic table works
D: MILK IS SEVERAL COMPOUNDS PLEASE YALL ARE KILLING ME OVER HERE

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K: shoutouts to the dude o the bus opposite me holding a massive art portfolio in one hand and a small bottle of chicken seasoning in the other. i really love seeing little glimpses of strangers lives
T: A few years ago a Facebook thread showed up on my feed that was like "cryptically admit your darkest secret!" and so i went through the comments and some old dude made a comment that gave me massive creep vibes so I went through his online social media presence, eventually found his ancient myspace which was linked to a deviantart account that led to another random skeevy art website he was on where he was drawing nothing but ruby gloom cartoon porn so I went back to the Facebook thread and posted a screenshot of the account under his comment. He lost his shit and when I asked if the ruby gloom fixation was why his ex-wife left him he blocked me.

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B: things should go more smoothly now that I have a dagger coated in poison

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T: Advice?
C: Yes! Lie for fun. Don't start drama but make sure you escalate it

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W: the sexual tension between me & the alternate reality I daydream about

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J: Just because I don't have a will to live, that doesn't mean I don't have a will to kill.

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T: THAT MOVIE IS HOMOPHOBIC BECAUSE IT MADE ME CRY.

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D: a noir saxophone lick screams out in the smoky streets as I step into the bar and coolly order a horsepussy.... on the rocks

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W: god dared a guy to human sacrifice his son as a test. santa asks for nothing except that we treat each other with kindness. we offer milk and cookies to santa willingly
D: Also Santa's a big ol' gilf
T: STOP

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R: PARTYFOWL

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T: instead of being like "oh this system is really set up to make rich people richer and make sure production never stops and we never stop working" people are like "man 2021 sucked" like bro, it's not 2021, it's capitalism

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D: somebody come pick me up Tim kicked me out of his car when I asked to listen to something other than the X-Files theme

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T: zounds bard! wherefore didst thee entomb thy gays!? (throws apple)

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