“Eden, I’m taking you out. We’re celebrating! I’m taking you out to the nicest place we can find, now that my pay grade’s been restored.” Adam was actually babbling.

I thought it was sweet.

“You should call Amanda.”

“Jesus, you’re right. I can’t think straight. Where’s my phone?” He patted his pockets so I handed him mine.

We were again in the back seat of the car the Army had sent, on our way back to Long Island. It was going on one o’clock.

He pressed a few buttons, held the phone to his ear. “Captain Sanders was something else. Eden, you should have seen him. It was like watching a TV show. They’re not answering. Why are they not answering? Mandy, it’s Adam. I was cleared! Full reinstatement. We’re celebrating! Call me. Bye.” He closed the phone, handed it back to me. “I kept waiting for Sanders to shout, 'You’re out of order!'– that would have been cool, but it didn’t get quite that far.”

With a laugh, I squeezed his hand. “Why did it take so long?”

Adam waved a hand. “They had to go through the whole incident. Questions on top of questions. Why did I do this, why didn’t I do that. Sanders went back at them, question for question, took out their legs, and then it was over. You can’t argue with the truth.” He grinned and I had to smile back. I’d never seen Adam so excited.

“You look great today. I should have told you this morning, but things got nuts.”

I shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“No. No, Eden. It’s not. I’ve been so obsessed over this, I haven’t been able to think of anything else. But things will be different now. I can’t get back to my unit yet but I can get back to work. You can come with me if we get married, they’ll take care of us – base housing.”

Wait, what? I let go of Adam’s hand, my jaw hanging. Married? Base housing? Come with him? Who is this guy?

“Eden.” Adam’s voice changed. “Look at me.” His hand took my chin, tilted it. “Now that things are, you know, settled, there’s something I want to tell you.”

No. Please don’t.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while.” His thumb caressed my cheek. “But…” He trailed off, brown eyes dark with regret. ““It doesn’t matter. Can’t change the past, right?” He swiped a hand over his head, took off the beret. “All we can do is take care of the future.” And then he smiled and the earth tilted. “Eden, I-“

His cell phone buzzed. He pulled it from the jacket pocket he’d patted twice before. I smiled and shook my head. He was awfully cute when his thoughts were scattered.

“Mandy, you got my message?”

The smile slid off his face and his entire body tensed. A long silence.

“Zach, what about the girls? Are they okay?”

Oh, God. Cassie? Amanda? What happened?

Adam closed his eyes, his hand pressed to his mouth. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. We’ll meet you there. It’ll be at least an hour.” A pause. “Yeah. Thanks.””

The click of the phone closing sounded like a bullet. I took Adam’s hand and squeezed.

“What happened? What’s wrong?”

He drew in a deep breath and let it all out, slowly. “Eden, it’s Ray.”

The sound of his name made my entire body clench.

“He knocked on Amanda’s door today.”

I shook my head. No. Oh, God. No.

“Anne let him in.” He swallowed hard. “He was pissed that he couldn’t find you. Blames me, so he came after me, except I wasn’t home.””

I didn’t want to hear this. I was still shaking my head. Something happened. Whatever it was, it was bad. Adam’s face had gone white.

And it was my fault.

“Cassie was at pre-school. Amanda went to pick her up. They weren’t home, Eden.” Another pause. Adam’s hand curled into a fist. “He beat up Anne pretty good. They’ve got her up at Stony Brook.”

I covered his fist until it opened. “Are they sure it was Ray?”

Adam’s eyes darted to mine and then to the floor of the car. “Yeah. Yeah, they’re sure. He left… another present.”

I opened my mouth, tried to tell him how sorry I was, but I forgot how to speak. It’s my fault. How did I let this happen? I knew it wasn’t safe to be home so I took care of myself and never once stopped to think this psycho knew where Amanda and Adam lived. He lifted his face again and it was gone. The joy and the relief and excitement that re-animated him just minutes before – it gone, all of it.

My fault.

“I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.” I blurted.

Adam said nothing. He’d just said it – you can’t argue with the truth.

It was nearly four o’clock by the time the car dropped us back at Amanda’s house. My car, out of the body shop for a month, had again been scarred on my behalf. This time, with a bat instead of a key. All the windows were smashed and large dents decorated the metal.

I wonder if the body shop has a frequent buyer club.

Adam paced. “I’ll call for a tow. Do you know a service?”

“Adam.”

He ignored me, continued his muttering. “We should call Detective Nolan, too, just to make sure he’s-“ He limped up the walk and into the house, the rest of his sentence cut off by the scene in the foyer.

Blood spattered the floor, the walls, the door and I felt the nausea bubble up to my throat.

“Fucking bastard.”

Adam’s oath was a primal scream.

“Adam.”

“What!” He whirled on me. I didn’t flinch.

“We need to go to the hospital.”

He stared at me for a minute and then nodded. He grabbed keys from a hook on the wall near the front door, handed them to me. “You drive.”

Even the keys had been blood-splattered.

The drive north to Stony Brook was slow, hindered by crawling Long Island rush hour traffic. Adam was a seething but silent wreck beside me. I knew better than to press him. He lurched through the hospital lobby two strides ahead of me, grinding his teeth as the elevator stopped at every floor before it reached the seventeenth. Intensive Care.

Zach met us, Cassie asleep in his arms.

“Where.” Adam was terse but now I understood that’s how he dealt with pain.

“Mandy’s in with her. We’ve been taking shifts.”

“Where.” It was a bark this time.

“There.” Zach pointed the way and Adam moved. “Adam, wait.”

Frustration palpable, Adam waited like a jet cleared for takeoff.

“It’s… it’s bad, Adam. The worst.”

Adam’s face drained of color. “What are you saying, man. What the hell are you saying?”

“She’s… they don’t think… Christ, she’s not going to make it, Adam. They called in a priest.”

Adam’s hand crawled to his belly and rubbed in an unconscious attempt to soothe. He swung eyes shadowed with panic to mine, then thrust the cane into my hands. He turned and ran, a lop-sided gait, down the corridor and into the room.

“Eden, come sit down.” Zach turned in the opposite direction to a waiting area identical to the one in the burn center. Taylor was there with a woman I didn’t recognize. She looked up and ran to me.

“God, Eden.”

“I’m so sorry, Taylor.”

She clung to me, shivering. I ran my hands up and down her back until she pulled away.

Zach sat on one of the ugly plastic chairs, crossed his legs and shifted Cassie to his other arm. After a moment, I sat beside him. “Eden, this is Alyssa, Taylor’s mom.”

She nodded, tight lipped. To Zach, she asked, “This is Adam’s girl?”

Adam’s girl. I liked the sound of that way more than I should. He’d told me too many times he wasn’t boyfriend material. I shifted my gaze to Cassie, watched her sleep, lips parted in smooth chubby cheeks, her dark curls tangled down her back. My eyes stung and I squeezed them shut, but they refused to obey me. “I’m sorry. It could have been her. Oh, God, Zach, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, hey, stop that. You need to hold it together, Eden, because I’m stretched here. They’re gonna need us.”

“Yeah. Sorry. Sorry.” I screwed up my face, willed the tears to stop. We sat quietly and my cell buzzed.

“Ranger, hi.”

“Hi, sugar. I was calling to remind you about tonight, but you don’t sound so good. What’s up?”

Shit. Tonight. “Oh, no. Ranger, I totally forgot. I’m here, I mean, I’m on seventeen in Intensive Care.”

“What happened?” Ranger’s voice shifted from friendly to all business.

“Adam’s mom, Ranger. He got to her. The guy who’s stalking me.”

“I’ll be right there.”

The call ended.

Not five minutes later, Ranger strode into the waiting room, his mouth set in a thin line. He nodded to Zach and Alyssa. “Eden. Where’s Ollie?”

I looked down the hall. “In with her now. He and Amanda.”

Ranger dropped into a crouch in front of my chair. “Can you tell me what happened?”

I shook my head and shrugged. “I don’t know much. Adam had a hearing today in Brooklyn. We didn’t know until Zach called us-“

“You went with him?” Ranger interrupted. “How did that go?”

“Good. Well. He was completely exonerated and reinstated.”

Ranger’s eyes popped. Taylor gasped. Zach’s eyes slipped shut.

“That’s great news. Ollie must be thrilled.”

I rolled my eyes. “Try giddy. Then Zach called with the news.”

Zach cut in. “Amanda left the house around noon to pick Cassie up at pre-school. The cops think this guy Ray knocked on the door a few minutes later. Annie opened it and he just…”

Beside Taylor, Alyssa choked back a sob. Alyssa must be Anne's sister. 

“They think he was looking for you. Detective Nolan says your school reported an incident with a disfigured man approaching students and dropping your name. Plus, there’s what he did to your car. Nolan says Adam pissed him off so he’s escalating. Needs to show Adam who’’s in charge.”

Oh, God. Ranger’s hand tightened over mine. My fault. I was responsible. If I’d listen to Adam every time he told me he wasn’t interested, his family would have been safe.

Zach was still talking. “… are gonna want to talk to you again. Have you look at pictures, work with a sketch artist or something.”

Ranger’s hand went up and Zach stopped.

“Sugar. You have to know this isn’t your fault. Any of this.”

Oh, but it was. If I could have found the guts to tell my mother I didn’t want to work anymore, there wouldn’t have been a sexy tool calendar to grab some psychopath’s attention. I wouldn’t have been late to the party and Belinda and I would still be friends. There wouldn’t have been a car accident. I never would have been burned. I wouldn’t have been in the hospital and never would have met Adam. The first domino that fell was my own gutlessness.

He wouldn’t talk to me in the car. He wouldn’t even look at me. I stood up, fished Adam’s keys from the pocket of my jeans and handed them to Zach, along with Adam’s cane. “Tell him I’m so sorry.”

“Eden, no. Stay. He needs you.”

“He hates me.” There was nothing more to say. “I’m sorry.” It was lame to keep repeating it. I turned to Ranger.

“Sugar-“

“Ranger, please. No more. Can you take me home later?”

 He nodded, his face grim. He stared at me for a long time and then sighed. “Okay.”

I followed Ranger to the elevators and down a maze of corridors that eventually led us to a large room where chairs had been set up facing a long table. Another long table in the back of the room held coffee and cookie trays. My stomach growled and I gasped. How odd to feel something as normal as hunger when I wanted to die.

People clustered in small groups and stood in different corners of the large room. Ranger shook hands, greeting some people by name. To the others, he introduced himself. A blur streaked past the corner of my eye and I whirled.

“Eden!”

Two arms wrapped around my waist and I gasped. “Sam! Oh, Sam, I missed you so much!” I bent down, surveyed the boy’s arm. It was in a pressure garment like mine, except his was worn like a sling, not a jacket.

“Great! Look.” He flexed his arm at the elbow. “It hardly hurts now.”

“You’re right. That is great.”

“Eden, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Ranger took my hand. I waved good-bye to Sam. Ranger introduced me to hospital board members, medical staff, and former patients. He introduced Sam and his parents, too. I practiced my pageant techniques, flashing phony smiles and acting as if every cell in my body wasn’t consumed by guilt about Adam. At eight o’clock, Ranger walked to the table at the head of the room and tapped a microphone.

“Welcome, everyone, to Stony Brook Hospital’s first ever Survivors Offering Assistance in Recovery meeting. I’m Preston Ranger, RN, MSN, and Nursing Director of the Burn Center. It’s my hope to make Stony Brook a SOAR hospital, the first in Suffolk County. I’m proud to tell you that our Burn Center serves more than 1.5 million Suffolk residents. But with the economy being what it is and Albany trying to balance the state’s budget, our funding is at risk. A SOAR program is staffed by volunteers. All we have to do to start one is approve the financial commitment outlined in your packets.”

The room filled with the sound of fluttering pages.

“I’ve invited a few special people to join us this evening, Rick and Pam Hines and their son, Sam.” Polite applause sounded while Sam’s family joined him at the table.

“Our son was burned when he pulled a deep fryer off the kitchen counter.” Rick Hines began. “The damage was absolutely devastating. We rushed Sammy here as fast as we could, his arm wrapped in a cold towel, but his skin was just falling off in sheets.”” Mr. Hines’ voice broke.

Pam Hines took over while her husband composed himself. “Ranger was the person who talked to us, calmed us down, while the surgeons took him right into an O.R. He told us what could be done, how it would be done, and what to expect.”

“But Sammy was scared and snuck out of his room while we talked to the doctors.” Rick cut in. “We found him a few minutes later, hiding in the waiting room. He was talking to other patients, who calmed him down.” Rick smiled at me. “They were able to convince him that even though it would hurt, he had to undergo the treatment Ranger recommended.”

“That calmed me down.” Pam admitted. “I was grappling with trying to care for my little boy as well as the enormous guilt for letting him get hurt in the first place.”

“As you know, we don’t permit parents to watch burn treatment. We do this for a variety of reasons but managing kids’ fear is one our biggest challenges.” Ranger said. “Sam, how scared were you?”

“Really, really scared.” Sam said with a serious voice. “But then Eden and Adam told me I had to get my good guy cells to fight the bad guy ones off so that my arm would get better. And I did. They came with me so I was brave.”

Cuteness overload. I pressed my hands to my mouth. A quick glance around the room showed me several people blinking back tears.

“Adam!” Sam shouted and ran to the back of the room. My head snapped up. There was Adam, limping in. My heart did a slow roll at the sight of him. He waved to Sam with half a smile but his eyes linked to mine as the little boy reached him. He bent to hug him but Sam went for a fist bump instead, and then tugged Adam’s hand.

Adam let Sam lead him to the table, the uniform and the cane drawing everyone’s eye. He sat beside me. His mouth was tight, his face still hadn’t regained color. “You left.” Two whispered words that shouted pain.

“I didn’t think you wanted me around.” I whispered as Ranger introduced Adam to the assembly.

“Guess again.”

“Your mother?”

His expression chilled. “If she makes it through the night…” He trailed off and shrugged until the thunderous applause died down.

“I’m so sorry.”

Hard eyes met mine. “What for?”

I blinked at him. “It’s my fault.”

Impossibly, his eyes went even colder. “So you ran.”

I bristled under his glare but had no time to reply. Ranger was handing out more packets. Adam turned to shake Sam’s father’s hand. I stared at my hands.

“Excuse me, I have a question.” A woman in the third row of chairs stood up.

Ranger waved a hand.

“If this man is in the Army, why isn’t the VA hospital caring for him?”

“I got this.” Adam told Ranger. He stood and walked around the table to address the woman directly. “Injuries like mine are complicated to treat. I was wounded by a roadside bomb. There’s damage from the blast itself like bruising and fractures plus the burns caused by whatever chemicals the bas – sorry - the enemy added.” He amended with a quick glance at Sam.

“I was injured right after the new year.” Adam rolled up the leg of his pants, his leg propped on an empty chair, revealing the bandages he still wore. “I was wearing my ACU – Army Combat Uniform with body armor.” He rolled down a sock. Pointed to a line of unharmed skin. “This is where my boots ended. The blast tore through the armor, my uniform and then, the chemicals burned through my skin and muscle.” He peeled back the pressure bandage to reveal the angry, puckered devastation underneath. “This is where the bones broke through. From here to here, the skin was flayed off.” He indicated the span from his knee to the mark left by his boot. “The medics evacuated me. I wasn’t conscious for that part. I woke up in a base hospital where the Army docs set and pinned the bones, but couldn’t do much for the missing tissue. By the time they shipped me back to the U.S., the wound was infected and the docs started tossing around the A word.” He waited a beat. “Amputation.”

He related the story’s cold hard facts. On the surface, he appeared the picture of stoicism, but I knew him now. Adam’s erect posture, the twitch in his temple, the white lines bracketing his mouth, and the intensity burning behind his dark eyes told a very different story. One of pain, loss, and abandonment.

“When I came here, I was rushed into surgery. The breaks were healing, but not the surrounding tissue. Dr. Nielsen excised the wounds, Ranger treated me in the burn center with debridement, silver ointments and eventually, skin grafts.”

Adam replaced the bandage, rolled his pants down and flashed a brilliant smile that turned me into goo. “I may still be in some pain but I got to keep my leg because of the work done here. If I’d stayed with the VA hospital, I’m pretty sure I’d be telling you a different story.”

The crowd erupted in applause and Adam returned to his seat behind the table. I offered him a tentative smile. “Adam. I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me your leg was in such bad shape?”

His eyebrows shot up. “Why would I do that? Not like you could have done anything about it.”

True. I drew in a deep breath. Still…

“You’re right. I couldn’t have done anything. Except maybe been someone for you to talk to. Someone who was losing almost as much as you.”

He scowled at me. “Princess, you lost the ability to wear a designer original. BFD.”

I jerked, his words a like a match to my fuse. “Really? That’s all you think I’ve lost here? Then maybe you lost your vision.” I scraped my chair back and left, intending to call Maddie, or maybe a cab instead of bugging Ranger to take me home.

“Eden, hi.”

I turned, found a tall man standing beside me, his face bearing the deep scars of bad burns. His head was bald, one ear was gone but his eyes were bright and friendly.

“I’m Mark.” He extended a hand encased in a glove.

I shook it, thinking Mark. Mark? My eyes narrowed. “Weren’t you the guy watching me undress from the next curtain in Ranger’s unit?” I tugged my hand free.

“Um. Yeah. About that. I’m really sorry. I wasn’t looking for –“ He waved a hand over my body. “That. I mean, I just couldn’t believe I’d met you. Eden Leighton, the Titan Tools Girl. I just wanted another glimpse, not the whole show.”

Guess he wasn’t a pervert, then. I managed a smile. “Glad that’s straightened out.”

“Oh, yeah, wow. Me, too. You must have thought I was-“ He winced. “Never mind.”

Behind him, I caught a glimpse of Adam’s thunderous face. “Excuse me, I was just leaving.” I turned before Mark could respond.

In the corridor, I yanked out my cell and dialed Maddie.

“Eden?”

“Hi, I need a ride. Where are you?”

“I’m right behind you, sweetheart.”

I whirled and there was Maddie, following me out of the large room. I was never this happy to see her. “I didn’t know you were here.”

One perfectly arched brow rose. “I might say the same.”

“Dr. Nielsen invited you?”

She nodded. “We arrived late, so I remained in the back.” She cocked her head and regarded me for a minute. “What’s wrong? You look anxious.”

Oh, Maddie and her gift for understating the obvious.

“Long day. I’d really like to go home. Can you take me?”

“Where’s your car?”

Right. How would she know? I drew in a deep breath. “It’s at Adam’s. It’s been vandalized again.”

She sucked in a sharp breath and stepped closer. “Are you okay?”

“No. No, I’m not okay and that’s why I’d like to leave. Mom, this guy. Ray. The stalker? He… attacked Adam’s mother. She’s here in ICU and they don’t think-“

I swallowed back the sob that choked me. Maddie took my hand.

“Okay, sweetheart. We’ll go.” She clicked a button on her cell. “Elliot, I need to take Eden home. Something’s happened.”

A little frisson danced along my neck and I spun. Mark stood there, listening. He smiled, a lift that raised half his ruined mouth into a grimace.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing. I’m happy to take you home.”

Pity compelled me to smile back. Fear and intelligence said, “No, thanks. I’ve got this.”

“Really, it’s no trouble.”

“No.” I didn’t bother with the niceties this time.

Maddie closed her phone. “Honey, he can’t leave yet and I came with him. Come on. Just stay by me, okay?” She tucked a hand through my arm, tugged me back inside the conference room.

I sighed.

“Come on, Eden, big smile. Project confidence.”

No.

Not this time.

I stole a glance at Adam. He stood with Sam’s family, a few nurses I recognized and the woman who questioned him earlier. He was nodding, gesturing with his free hand. Tension sizzled in the air around him. He frowned at his cell phone and held it to his ear. His eyes scanned the room and locked on mine seconds before going wide. The cane slipped from his hand, landed with a bone-rattling crash on the floor.

And then he was running, running in that same lopsided gallop I now knew meant the worst news possible.