I'm here guys ❤️❤️

~SOPHIA~

I've always thought that Stephanie's sickness had prepared me for quiet days, silent ones, bleak ones but this... This felt different... Way too different.

And I knew it was because I saw this black hole and I led everyone right into it.

Thinking about everything now, looking back now, I was actually wishing I had said something.

Which one would have turned out to be a horrible nightmare? Telling everyone about what I've always thought about Aminah from the beginning or not saying anything and allowing this to happen, allowing them to find out in the most inhumane and horrible way ever!

If only I had said something, then all these would have been averted.

It had been two weeks, two whole weeks since Aminah's birthday and nothing has remained the same since then.

The girl herself, Aminah wasn't even showing up in school at all. It was as if she had decided to disappear after completely screwing everyone over. After doing that to Kunmi and Kunle, she did not even have the decency to stay back and clean up her mess. Not like I was actually expecting her to do anything. What was even supposed to be expecting from her? From someone like her who could stand still and wreck that much havoc on everyone around her?

Why... How... What? They were the questions I've been asking myself about her for the last two weeks and I couldn't even come to any reasonable conclusion about her.

Aminah... She was someone l couldn't and would probably never figure out. I wasn't interested in figuring her out in the first place.

I just wished... I wished that just like she had disappeared now, she was going to disappear from everyone's lives forever and just allow them to have peace.

And just allow us all to have peace.

It was like our friendship just hit rock button with everything that happened with her.

Kunle... He basically just stopped. He stopped. Shut down. It was as if someone just flipped the off switch in him and he just shut down completely. He shut everybody off, me majorly. He had been showing up in school everyday since that day but he just kept to himself, he just completely alienated himself from everything and everyone.

Except from that Rubic's cube. He was always solving it that it was becoming more than an addiction, it was becoming more like... There was something more to the whole thing.

I wasn't even sure if he was talking to Adam or anyone. He wasn't interested in talking to me, that much was very obvious. He wasn't even acting like he could see me and the few times I actually tried to talk to him, his eyes, his expression, everything about him always scare me off.

That wasn't even what got to me, that wasn't what made me sad or heartbroken and that wasn't what made it hurt to look at him, it was our classmates, it was our stupid and insensitive classmates.

That nerve of theirs...

They actually had the nerve to poke where it hurts the most.

It started with that darned classmate that actually sent that message to the group chat. I don't know how someone could be that dumb, that insensitive to send something like that to the group.

But guys, wait oo, so Kunle's biological mom is a drug and sex addict?

My heart dropped immediately I saw that message. I just clicked on the exit icon only to realise that Kunle had left too. My heart dropped even more at that.

He was on the group. He had seen that message about his mom. I couldn't even start to imagine the amount of pain he must be going through. To have that one thing that hurt him the most made public like that by no one but the first girl he thought he was truly happy with.

He must be in so much pain, so much emotional and physical pain and worse still, he wasn't even getting comforted by anyone. He wasn't even interested in getting comforted.

And as if the messages that were sent to the group chat wasn't enough, they still have the audacity to make jokes and snide remarks about it in school. At first, it was just whispers among themselves until I heard Rahmon actually say it to another classmate.

"But doesn't addiction runs in the family? If Kunle's mom is a drug addict, then the probability that he'll end up a junkie is very high."

He had said that, out loud in the classroom with most of our classmates there, with Kunle sitting in the class. My first reaction was to turn towards Kunle's direction and he was just sitting on his seat, back pressed against the backrest of the seat, legs stressed out, eyes fixed on his phone that was in his hand. He was just sitting in an overly relaxed position with his expression and stance giving nothing away.

I did not know what to make of that.

"Guy, have sense na. Must you really show everyone how stupid you are?"

That was surprisingly Ezekiel again and when Rahmon started to reply him in even more crude words, I left the class.

I don't think I'll be able to handle breathing the same air as those people for another minute.

I've been feeling so down, so low, so unmotivated, so hurt, so pained that I cannot even what Kunle must be going through right now.

How he was keeping everything bottled up, how he was acting so eerily calm in the face of everything was actually scaring me...

And then, there was Kunmi in the middle of everything.

God! That innocent girl. What did she ever do wrong to have met someone like her? How badly Aminah must have messed up with her mental health and self esteem. How badly everything must have gotten to her that she doesn't even want to see anyone, not even Adam and definitely not me.

She stopped showing up in school too.

Stopped picking her calls, stopped viewing messages on WhatsApp till her numbers stopped going through all together, till she wasn't even online anymore, till she was unreachable.

That even Adam couldn't contact her.

She hasn't shown up in school for the past two weeks and I've even lost count of the number of times I've gone to her house but ended up turning back before entering because for the first time, I actually felt conscious of what I was going to say to her if I should enter and the few times, I actually garnered courage to knock, the Gate keeper was always ready with one excuse or the other that she wasn't around.

I knew she was around, I knew that she just wasn't interested in seeing me or anyone. And only God knows how much she was hurting, how much she was fairing now that no one could even see her or reach her.

I was feeling so bad, too bad that I was partially to be blamed for this.

God! The magnitude of the hurt and pain and betrayal she must be going through right now. What... I did not even have an idea how much she was hurting and fairing and holding up.

All these were because of Aminah! Because of that girl who was always smiling, who was always jumping around and bursting around with so much energy and vigour. Who would have thought her smiles and laughter were going to cost us all this much.

She caused all these.

And then, there was her best friend in the middle of the whole thing. Tolase! How could she, without even thinking twice just snap the contents of the dairy and post them to the group like that... How could she allow Kunmi and Kunle to find out about Aminah's betrayal like this? How could she post their horrible scars like this? How... How... And why?

Was she that focused on betraying Aminah that she did not even think about any other thing, about any other person? About how all these things would break certain people?

Why did she even do that to her supposed best friend? Was betraying and hurting friends a trend in their own circle? Not like I was particularly interested in what's up with them. It was just the end result of everything, how everyone got tangled up in the whole stuff that was getting to me.

And the girl in question, the Tolase girl was just walking around the school, around the class as if she did something to be proud of, as if she saved the whole of mankind or something along that line.

I wasn't even joking...

She was walking around the school as if it her actions that fucked everything up. Kunmi and Kunle deserved to find out but not in that way, not in that totally heart shattering way.

Why did she even have to do that? Why? Why? Just why?

It was just infuriating to watch her. Sometimes, I just feel like walking over to her and slapping the daylight out of her.

But then, everything was not even getting to me, the whole dairy stuff wasn't getting to me the way it was getting to Gab. In fact, I wasn't even understanding at all again. She was legit snapping at everyone that dared to bring up the dairy stuff in class or just tell them to shut the fuck up whenever they start to bring it up.

I did not understand why she, out of everyone would be the one to carry Aminah's issue on her head. If anyone couldn't stand Aminah, it was my cousin. Gab had always been the one who disliked her, who couldn't even bear to breath the same air as Aminah, especially after what she did and had been doing to Alex. I knew just how much she hated the fact that we had to share a room together when we travelled to Ibadan the other time.

But now, this! It wasn't that she was particularly standing up for Aminah but it wasn't even any of her business if people were talking about her or her dairy. It shouldn't be any of her business.

It was just as surprising as it was infuriating.

Just earlier today in class, Tolase had been talking loudly with some of our male classmates. They had been cracking jokes, laughing loudly as if everything was perfectly fine, as if we all weren't in this shit hole because of what she did.

I really wanted to go over and just slap the laughter and joy out of her.

"What's so funny?"

That surprisingly loud voice had interrupted every other thing that was going on in the class and everyone turned towards the direction of the voice. It was Gab and she was standing right in front of Tolase's seat.

I sat up, eyed the two girls, my cousin who was standing over her with her hands crossed over her chest and glaring down at the other girl as if she was waiting for her to give her a reason to just slap her.

The other girl looked confused, as if she did not understand the question or why that particular question was directed at her. She actually pointed an index finger to herself before she slowly started to turn back as if to see if by chance, there was someone else behind her that Gab was referring to.

"Hey, you! I'm talking to you." The other girl frowned even more and mouthed "Me?"

"Yes, you! I'm talking to you. What's so funny? Why are you are laughing that loudly as if you've done something worth laughing about?"

The girl sat up straighter, the confusion so evident on her face that she even turned to look around the class as if she was going to get answers from our classmates.

"Gab, I don't understand..."

"Of course, you won't understand. You're that much of a blockhead not to understand anything, ain't you?"

Shocked, exaggerated gasps and even murmurs filled the whole classroom and I sat up straighter. I knew this had to do with Aminah. It just had to.

"See Gab, I don't know what pissed you off this morning but I'll very much like if you don't take out your frustrations on me."

That was Tolase's reply to Gab and she started to turn towards the guys she had been talking to before Gab interrupted as if to continue their conversation.

"You! You're the one. You pissed me off. Your laughter, your voice, everything about you is pissing me off this morning. What have you done that's so great that you're that happy? How can you sit down here and talk and laugh comfortably after doing what you did? How..."

She trailed off, took calming breaths and she actually breathed out loudly through her mouth and she even had to face palm and rub her entire face. What was surprising wasn't even her outburst, it was how genuinely pained and hurt she looked, she sounded.

I was genuinely lost. I did not even understand what my cousin was going on about at all.

And I wasn't the only confused one. The whole class was confused. Tolase was more confused than everyone. She just kept at Gab like she had grown two heads.

"Are you seriously talking about what happened with Aminah?" Tolase asked slowly as if she couldn't come into terms with what was going on.

Gab's unexpected reply was to chuckle, a deep resonating and deriding chuckle and she muttered underneath her breath but still loud enough for the whole class to hear: "Is this idiot really asking me that?"

More exaggerated gasps and series of wow, our head girl is not joking filled the air and Tolase looked like someone just slapped her hard. She sat up straighter with her eyes glaring daggers at Gab.

"So what did you expect me to have done? Know something like that and just keep it away from everyone? Allow her to keep deceiving everyone? No please, I can't be privy to something like that and keep it a secret from everyone." Tolase was quick to defend herself and I actually scoffed.

I couldn't help it. Is this girl that dumb?

For a minute, Gab did not say anything. She just kept staring at the girl as if she couldn't believe it, as if she was honestly flabbergasted by her. She opened her mouth to talk but only ended up closing it. She couldn't even get a word out. She just smiled, breathed in deeply as in to calm herself.

She was that that exasperated.

"But, Tolase, you actually believe that you've done something that you deserve a pat at the back for? You honestly feel like you've..." She winced as if she was in some sort of physical pain before she started shaking her head, as if she was feeling sorry for someone or something.

"You said you wanted everyone to find out how much of an hypocrite your best friend was..."

"She wasn't my best friend..." Tolase interrupted but Gab just continued talking as if the other girl did not say anything.

"... But then, did you ever ask her why she had to do those things? Okay, that's too far fetched, did you even paused for a minute to think of how revealing the contents of her dairy would make everyone feel? The whole school knows amount Kunle's mom, they know everything about Kunmi's insecurities now. Do you think those two deserved to be patronised like this? Do you think they deserve to have their flaws and secrets publicised like this?"

Tolase faltered at that and their whole class did too. A hushed silence fell over the entire class and some even looked somber.

"If you actually have the tiny bit of decency and sense, then you should know that blackmailing her with that dairy and eventually revealing the contents was a very bad and stupid move on your part."

Blackmail? She blackmailed her? And how did Gab even know about all these?

"At least, at... At least..." The other girl stammered pathetically and I actually hissed. "Kunmi and Kunle deserves to know the relationship had always been one sided. I did it so they'd know the kind of person they've been dealing with and..."

"And your friendship with her has always been two sided?" She interrupted and she shook her head dramatically as if she was pitying the girl.

It was all drama. Everything! Because I couldn't even understand a thing, at all.

No one said a thing afterwards and Tolase, for a minute looked conflicted, as if there was a raging war going on right there in her head before a defiance, almost stoic look took over.

"Listen Gab, I did what I had to do. I had the best intentions of everyone at heart. I wanted everyone to know the kind of person Aminah really is and I just did this so Aminah would learn and become a bett..."

A slap cut her off, a resounding, almost deafening slap cut her off that her head momentarily freeze in the direction it had jerked towards while her hand slowly raised to touch her cheek, the side that was slapped and she slowly started to raise her eyes to look at Gab as if she couldn't believe what was happening.

I couldn't believe what was happening either.

Gab just slapped a classmate. She wasn't the violent type. Infact, I couldn't recall the last time she slapped someone. That was if she had ever slapped someone. Even as the head girl, she had never resorted to violence. She believed in smile and persuasions and conversations to get things done but now, she just slapped a classmate.

Maybe it'd have been understandable if it were about something else.

But it was about Aminah. Aminah! The last person she should be worried about.

I couldn't connect the dots no matter how much I tried when there shouldn't be any dots to connect in the first place.

There were even more gasps and exaggerated murmurs from the class.

"Wow," Ezekiel said before chuckling somewhere in the class, "That was a real brain bursting slap."

I saw the fight before it actually happened. One minute, Gab was looking at the girl with so much disgust as if it was taking all her self restraint not to actually beat her up and Tolase was looking up at her, with tears pooling up in her eyes at the impact of that slap and still trying to comprehend what just happened and the next, she was standing up and reaching out as if to slap Gab.

Except that did not actually happen. The boys sitting beside the fair girl were quick to hold her and stop her maniac attempt to hit Gab while the latter just kept staring at her calmly.

I just sat on my seat, transfixed, my head still not wrapping around anything.

"Gab," That was Alex and he was already beside her and trying to nudge her to move away from that spot.

She did not even act as if she could see him. She just kept staring at the seething girl who was busy trying to pry herself from the boy's hold as if she was actually daring her to do anything. The look in her eyes were screaming, 'Leave her, let her give me a chance to give her the beating of her life.'

I wasn't even joking.

Gab wasn't being herself at all.

Then she looked away from her, muttered something inaudible beneath her breath before shaking her head.

"You know, Tolase, you don't have an idea what you've done at all."

That was all she said before walking out of the class with Alex hot on her tail.

Both the words and the tone she used in saying actually made me feel...

I couldn't even explain what it made me feel.

Except the involuntary chills I felt at those words and tone.

"What are you thinking about that you're staring into space?" Gab's voice jolted me out of my reverie and I nearly tumbled out of my bed in shock.

"You better calm down," She continued, staring at me with wide eyes from where she sat on the bed, "Why do you look like someone that was caught stealing?"

Caught stealing kinni? I looked away from her as I tried to become more fully rooted in the present. After Gab walked out of the classroom earlier today, I did not see her again. I had to leave school earlier because of a shoot I'd have loved to cancel if not for my manager.

And she wouldn't stop telling me that I was already slated to appear on the fourth episode of a talk show that was launching soon. The Chat With Zee! I wasn't even interested in it. I wasn't interested in anything that had to do pictures, flashes of cameras, dressing up, striking poses and smiling at cameras.

I just wanted to take a break from all of that.

Then I returned home later in the evening to meet Gab in my room, moping around and complaining of a very nasty headache.

Her eyes looked puffy, red, swollen and she was even running a fever that it made me scared because I've never seen her in that kind of physical pain before. She even had to hold her head with her two hands before she can walk the distance from my bathroom door to my bed. Her skin was legit burning up and she insisted on not taking a pain reliever or visiting the family doctor.

She said she had to only sleep it off. I did not know if it was possible for someone to sleep that kind of headache off. She finally dozed off and I thought she was still sleeping until her question jolted me out of my reverie.

"How's your headache?" I asked instead and she only shrugged nonchalantly before she started to get up and I did not miss the small wince that escaped her lips as she stood up.

What's up now?

"What was that about today?"

"What?" She asked, her voice sounding mildly annoyed and crossed and she stopped walking towards my study table she had been walking to.

"Your outburst? Your confrontation with Tolase? You slapping her, what was that about?"

"What was that about?" She asked me again, stretching her hands akimbo, looking hella confused as if she did not understand what I was talking about and still managing to frown as if she did not understand the absurdity of that question.

I was supposed to be the confused person. I was supposed to be the one frowning at her. She was the absurd one here.

"Don't play dumb! You know what you did! You acting all ballistic towards Tolase because of Aminah. Oh come on, tell me something I don't know."

She shrugged again, annoying the fuck out of me.

"What do you expect me to do? Join the whole class in talking about her? Putting her down? Sending degrading messages into her dm? Hmm? But doing that is not going to change anything!"

"I never asked you to do any of that! You could have just ignored her but you stood up for her! You defended her in front of everyone after everything! After she continuously threw Alex's feelings in his face, after she continuously fucked him up because she knew how much he used to like her! After she blackmailed..." I trailed off, feeling that huge lump in my throat and heavy weight in my chest. "After she blackmailed Kunle with his mom's issue despite knowing how deeply scarred he is because of her just because she doesn't like me...?"

It was only when I voiced it out that I realised just how... Just how insane everything was. How could she do that? How could she get Kunle involved just because she wanted to hurt me? Get back to me? She was someone I wasn't even interested in at that point.

"Coz, I don't think Aminah hates you."

I pretended I did not hear that. That was the only way I wouldn't get annoyed at Gab because the statement she just made had to the most senseless one ever.

"And Kunmi? Did you read the things she wrote about her at all? Did you? Because if you did, then you would never stand up to defend her!" I fired right back at her, feeling the annoyance and anger dripping in my words.

She sighed, loudly and she rubbed her face with her hand as if she was exasperated.

"I wasn't defending her and you know more than anyone that I would never justify what she did. I'm just saying that..." She heaved a sigh again and she breathed heavily as if something I had no idea of was causing her great emotional distress.

"What she did is bad, it's horrible even. I'd never defend her. She fucked everybody up. I know just how much she messed with Alex's mental health, how much she used him despite picking Kunle over him. I'm just saying that the cancel culture is... And the way our classmates are acting... They're all hypocrites and..."

"And you're not an hypocrite?" I interrupted her tiredly. "You're not on talking terms with Alex right now because he went to console her when she was at her lowest during the Olympia, not like all those things she did then were real anyways. You're mad at Alex till now because he was annoyed with the way Kunle couldn't set his priorities right when it comes to Aminah but now, you're defending her? If that isn't hypocrisy, then I'm not sure what it is!" I screamed right back and she shook her head as if she was mildly frustrated that I did not get her point.

"Sophia, I understand everybody's frustration and anger. I'm angry and frustrated too. You guys have the right to be angry at her, you, Alex, Kunmi and Kunle. You all have the right to cancel her but I'm just... You guys don't really have an idea what's..."

"Wow! Gab? Really? You're still speaking up for her?" I shouted, feeling myself losing the little bit of control I had left and I hoisted myself up till I was kneeling on the bed. "You're really still speaking up for her? Oh God! If this isn't a breaking news, then I don't know what this is! Has Aminah manipulated you to that point or are you just nut!?"

She sighed tiredly and she looked away from me.

"You'd be nut too." Was all she muttered underneath her breath before she crossed over to my study desk, sat down and I still did not miss that painful wince that escaped her lips as she sat and how her hand automatically reached for her head. She used her glasses, opened her physics textbook, picked a pencil from the writing set and she actually started studying.

She was studying.

She just sat there, studying and acting like we did not just have a loud argument.

She just spoke up for Aminah, an ex friend I could have sworn she was never going to like again and now, she was just studying. Just studying.

Why would a physics textbook even be the next thing she opened after complaining of a very severe headache, an usual headache that was making her wince and contort her face at intervals?

What the hell??

************
~KUNMI~

I lost track of the days, lost track of everything. I spent my days and night sleeping, floating, existing. I spent them doing everything but living.

I haven't showed up in school since Aminah's birthday. I couldn't bear to show up. What was I even go to do there? How was I supposed to show up and allow anyone to see me?

I wasn't even interested in allowing anyone to see me.

That was also the last time I turned my phone on. At the moment, I did not even have an idea where my phone and I wasn't interested in turning it on. There was nothing there for me to see except layers and layers of pain.

I did not want to put myself through any of that again.

I just locked myself in my room, refused to come out unless necessary and I just told the Gate man not to allow any of friends in.

Friends... It left a sour taste in my mouth. Do I even have any friends? Was someone like me even capable of having real and genuine friends?

Aminah! Just remembering her, remembering everything about her always left a bitter taste in my mouth. Her voice was still there in my head, taunting me, deriding me and ridiculing me. I couldn't force her voice out of my head no matter how hard I tried.

And Junior wouldn't stop asking of her, wouldn't stop saying one thing or the other about her. It got to a point that I snapped at him! I couldn't help it.

It wasn't helping that she was already in my head and my brother still kept reminding me of her.

How was even to start to explain to him that his supposed crush had betrayed me in the worst way possible. How was I to explain that this betrayal was like striking me bare and leaving me naked?

Because that was exactly what what it feels like.

It hurts so much, too much that I couldn't breath properly. It hurts to do anything.

"Oluwabukunmi, why are you not eating?" Mom asked me cautiously from where she sat opposite me at the dinning table and I glanced up briefly at her to see her brows creased in worry before glancing down at the plate of food in front of me.

The sight of Ewa Agoyin and plantain and smoked fish was enough to make my mouth water, was enough to make my stomach growl and to make me remember the last time I had a proper meal.

Which was approximately two weeks ago. It was exactly on the morning of Aminah's birthday.

From then, each time I neared any food, any snacks, the voices in my head will pick up again, reminding of what eating foods was going to do to my body, the kind of fat that was going to get added to my body if I should keep eating.

The voices was taunting me, pushing me to go on eating and daring me to actually go and eating and end up adding more weight till I end up looking even more ridiculous and horrible.

So I stopped eating altogether...?

"I'm not hungry." I replied her before I pushed my chair back and started to get up while the booming frown on my mom's face deepened. Junior said nothing. He just kept eating his food and glancing at me at intervals with wide unbelieving eyes.

"What do you mean you're not hungry?" Mom asked me, eyes brows raised. "You're not hungry?" She asked again as if that was unbelievable and I said nothing, I just stood there.

"That was the same thing you said this morning, yesterday evening, yesterday morning and the days before! What's going on!?" She screamed at and I suddenly felt like tearing up.

Can everyone just leave me alone?

"How do you expect your medications to work if you keep skipping meals?"

Medications... Of course I was supposed to be on medications. Mom had insisted that family doctor should come over when I kept boiling up, when the headache wouldn't leave me and when I insisted on not going to school. I had to lie that we were doing nothing but revisions in school and I'd rather stay back at home to read by myself because mom knew that I wouldn't skip school for anything.

"Mom... I'm eating enough for the medications to work."

I lied through gritted teeth because I wasn't eating enough for anything to work and I wasn't even using any medication.

I just wanted to be left alone.

Mom kept looking at me, the expression on her face conflicted, as if she was torn between saying what was on her mind or not saying it.

"You know what? We're going to the hospital together when you get back from your exams tomorrow. You need to do a proper test, I need to understand why you're looking this sick all of a sudden."

I stopped.

I wasn't looking this sick. In fact, I wasn't looking sick at all. If anything, I was just starting to lose weight... I was just starting to lose weight and I wanted to keep it that way. I'd do anything to keep it that way.

"Mom, it's just the stress of my upcoming exams. I've been stressed out reading for my exams and..."

"And what?" Mom interrupted me, her voice rising higher than even Junior flinched beside her. "And what? Is this the first time you're doing exams that you're suddenly looking like a ghost of yourself!?"

Please...

"Mom..." I sighed tiredly.

Was it too much for me to want to be left alone?

"What exactly is going on, Bukunmi?" Mom asked again, a silent plea to her voice. "Is there something you want to tell here? Are you okay?"

Am I okay?

I felt tears brim at my eyes at that, felt my heart squeeze painfully in my chest, felt the room start to cave in on me.

I wasn't okay... I couldn't be okay... How was I to be okay after that? How can I be okay after that?

I tilted my head backwards, blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. I was just feeling too tired, too overwhelmingly tired that I just wanted to lie down in one place.

"Mom, I'm okay... I'm fine... It's just..." My lips quivered and I paused. I wanted to tell her, I wanted to tell someone everything that was going on but I couldn't... I couldn't get the words out. I couldn't be that bare to someone.

Not like I have anyone I could be bare to in the first place.

I was that alone.

Someone like you deserves to be alone.

My hands closed the door behind me and it took seeing my mustard yellow bedspread and the the white paintings of the wall to realize that I was in my room.

I don't even remember walking out of the dinning room.

I dragged my tired body across the room and I just flopped myself on my bed.

I was feeling too tired... too tired to even lift a finger.

I don't understand why I was feeling that tired.

I felt a line rolled down either of my cheeks and I realised that I was tearing up again.

I was always tearing up these days. The tears were always coming. I couldn't even help it. I did not try to help it.

Fat. Ugly. Horrible. Ridiculous.

The words were etched permanently in my head. They kept repeating themselves in my head, like a mantra, like a broken record. I couldn't unhear them no matter how much I tried, I couldn't unsee the dairy entries no matter how much I tried.

My thoughts were fixated on them. It was like a compulsion. I couldn't stop thinking about them no matter how hard I tried.

I couldn't reach out to anyone. There was even no one to reach out to. There was no one to unburden all these to.

No Adam. No Sophia.

And I was starting to think I never had an elder sister in the first place.

Everything was just too overwhelming, too complex for me to even understand, to process properly.

I remembered that exams were starting tomorrow and my heart dropped, sank completely.

I was supposed to show up in school looking like this and allowing everyone to see me.

Nothing had changed. The figures on the scale weren't changing. Reducing by one and two and three weren't exactly anything.

They were nothing.

Nothing had changed.

And I was still supposed to show up in school tomorrow.

That thought filled me with a sinking dread, a dread enough to make me hear nothing but the pounding of my heart.

I can't do this.

Well 😪😪😪💔💔💔

Looks like Kunmi is developing some sort of coping mechanism. How this is going to end up for her is what I don't know 😭😭💔🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

And Gab, well, wahala be like what I don't know. What do you think is going on with her? And why do y'all think she's acting the way she is acting.

And Tolase!!! Do you think what she did is justified? I mean, exposing Aminah's dairy.

We're done here ❤️❤️❤️  See you guys soon.