“I really appreciate you giving me a ride.” Patton told Logan and Janus as they walked out to the car.

Logan had offered a ride to Patton when he learned they had the same 7th period. Janus didn’t care, of course. It was just a car ride, after all. Janus used to always ride with Remus, but that wasn’t really possible anymore. 

“It’s not a big deal.” Logan shrugged, fishing his keys out of his pockets. “It’ll take us only a minute to get there.”

“Still, I appreciate it. You’re very nice.” Patton smiled at him. 

“Have you come up with any ideas for the project?” Janus asked. 

“I’m going to see what ideas Roman comes up with.” Logan told them. “If they’re stupid, then I’ll come up with something.”

“I’m sure they won’t be. He’s very creative.” A small, dopey smile made its way onto Patton’s face, as he sighed dreamily. “You should see his drawings in art class. He’s brilliant.” He giggled, a faraway look in his eyes. 

Janus and Logan shared a look. “How long have you known Roman?” Logan asked, unlocking the car and opening the back door for Patton. 

“Well, technically we only met this afternoon.” Patton chuckled awkwardly, watching the other two climb into the car. “But I’ve known of him since sixth grade.”

Janus blinked. He had gone to the same middle school as Roman, and hadn’t noticed Patton once. In fact, he hadn’t even realized they had gone to the same middle school. “Wow, that’s a long time.” He commented. “And you’ve never talked to him?”

“W-Well, I, uh,” Patton stammered, going pink. “I’ve been too nervous to.”

“Why?” Janus asked, though he had a feeling he knew why. 

“...okay, you can’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you.” Patton told them. “It’s really embarrassing, and I wanna keep it a secret until I’m ready.”

“Okay.” Janus nodded. 

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?” Patton asked.

“Promise.” Logan and Janus replied in unison.

“Okay, well,” Patton took a deep breath. “I have the biggest, fattest, most embarrassing-est crush on Roman.” He buried his face in his hands, going bright red.

Logan and Janus blinked.

“No way.” Logan let out an over dramatic gasp.

“You hide it so well!” Janus told him, feigning surprise. “For how long?”

“I only realized in eighth grade.” He told them quietly, peeking his eyes out from his hands. “I had heard him singing to himself while waiting for the bus. It was sunset and he was bathed in golden light. That’s when I knew.” Patton smiled. “He didn’t see me, though. I dove into a bush before he could notice me.”

Janus furrowed his brow. Waiting for the bus? Roman had never taken the bus, even in middle school. His parents picked him and Remus up every day. Why would Roman be waiting for the bus?

Actually, the only time Janus could recall the twins’ parents not picking them up in middle school was…

“Janus!” Remus began, face red but determined. “I like you, a lot. Like, really really like you.”

Janus sighed, looking out the window. 

---

“Took you long enough!” Remus smirked at them the second they entered the cafe. He was sitting at a table with Roman.

“We only got here like a minute ago, Remus.” Roman snorted, raising an eyebrow at his brother. He looked over to the three of them, a perfect smile on his face. “Hey guys!”

“Hi!” Patton blurted out loudly. Too loudly, based on the way some people in the cafe looked over at them. He immediately went red, sinking in on himself in embarrassment.

“Uh, hi!” Roman laughed, giving Patton a wave. Patton quickly sat down the other two following his example. 

The second Janus sat down, Remus moved so that he was sat next to him. Janus huffed. “Janus,” He said, not daring to touch him.

“What do you want, Remus?” Janus hissed quietly in order to avoid gaining the others’ attention.

“Three months of radio silence and that’s the greeting I get?” Remus scoffed. Janus scowled, turning away from him. Remus sighed. “I tried to text you, y’know?”

“I blocked you.” Janus crossed his arms.

“I noticed.” Remus laughed breathlessly. 

“Who cares, anyway? You clearly moved on.” Janus spat, turning to look at him. “I saw your date yesterday. How did it go? You sweep him off his feet?” He asked sarcastically.

“That--” Remus pursed his lips. “That was a blind date.” Remus told him. “Roman made me go on it, said I should give up on you. Didn’t think it was going to be Remy.”

“You looked like you were having fun.” Janus croaked, looking away.  

“I’ve always been a good actor, you know that.” Remus said, leaning closer to Janus. “He kept trying to be close to me. Hand holding, leaning his head on my shoulder, holding my arm.” He explained, shuddering a bit. “I didn’t like it, because it wasn’t what you would do.” 

Janus’ breath hitched, but he quickly composed himself. “And what would I do?” He asked, glancing at him.

“You would call me an idiot if I reached for your hand,” Remus began. “And you don’t like public spaces, so we probably wouldn’t be at the movies anyway. We would be at my house, curled up on my couch, watching some dumb horror film.” 

He was right. That’s exactly what they would do. Janus laying against Remus’ chest, his hands running through Janus’ hair. It was always relaxing, since Remus always made sure Janus was comfortable as possible, just in case he fell asleep. He usually did. 

Remus would usually fall asleep after Janus, but Janus always loved when he fell asleep first. Remus would mumble unintelligibly in his sleep, still subconsciously holding Janus close. He always looked so peaceful, and so, so beautiful to Janus. His eyelashes resting against his fair skin, and face completely relaxed instead of its usual excited expression.

Did Remus miss that as much as Janus did?

Janus swallowed. “You--”

Remus continued. “And it would take a bit, but eventually I would convince you to cuddle with me. And you always smelled like honey and snow.” Remus chuckled a bit. “And I would tell you I loved you, but you wouldn’t say anything. And I would get so anxious.” He frowned a bit. “But I never told you because I loved you, and I didn’t care if you said it back.” He shifted. “Maybe I should’ve.”

A tense silence fell over the two of them. 

Janus had been feeling guilty the past few months, but this really just made him feel way worse than he ever had. Janus had been suffering, sure, but it must’ve been way worse for Remus. 

Remus, who always loved with his whole heart, even if it killed him.

They had ended on a bad note, and it had been eating Janus alive. Remus had loved him, truly loved him, and he had taken it for granted. If he could have a do-over, he would appreciate him more. Reassure him that he was wanted and that Janus loved him back.

Except, back then, that would have been a lie.

“Oh--what? How did you all get here before me?” 

They turned, spotting Virgil at the door. 

“Hello, Virgil.” Logan gave him a nod, turning from his conversation with Patton and Roman. 

“Hey, Logan.” Virgil gave him a mock salute, before smirking at Roman. “Hey, Princey.” 

“Don’t call me that.” Roman snapped, sneering at him. 

“Woah, did I touch a nerve?” Virgil asked sarcastically, sitting next to Logan and Patton. 

“Oh, I’ll tell you what you can touch, you piece of--” Roman began, beginning to stand up.

“We should get started immediately.” Logan interrupted, pulling out his notebook. Roman huffed, plopping down in his chair. Virgil smirked triumphantly. “So,” Logan looked at them all, pencil hovering over a blank page. “Any ideas?”

A/N:

I don't fucking know