Author's Note: At this point, I'm just trying to finish this story within the deadlines, so I apologize if it's not very good like the first two chapters were (especially since all the holidays after Christmas are before the twentieth of each month, so that's less time to write). If this story disappoints, then just know that's it's written only in good fun and there's no need to be rude about it because chances are, I probably agree with what you have to say already.

With that being said, here's the penultimate chapter of Post Office.

04 • returns

Whatever force was involved in getting me out of bed, it did exceptionally well. Maybe because something about everything was like a sign and all signs were pointed to "yes," that Blaise and I could withstand just about anything. The distance was one thing, but I left it all in the past now. Blaise would always be a shaking presence in my life, but for the first time in years, he was still here while the ground had stilled.

It felt good to walk on it, even just to walk with him on my way to back to our building after watching a movie, Blaise's arm over my shoulder as I told him how predictable it was, that the hero was always an underdog who had to go out and prove himself (because much more often than not, it was a guy) to the world as well as the leading lady by saving her countless times. They were enjoyable movies, of course, but that didn't excuse how recycled the plots of them were.

"But that's the only important thing," Blaise whined and I could feel his arm release me, no longer holding me close to him. "I honestly can't believe you, this is ―" he trailed off in search for the right words ― "ridiculous."

I rolled my eyes. "Doesn't it bother you, though? You've basically watched the same movies over and over again."

Blaise shrugged as we continued on. "Not really. All stories are the same as long as they begin and end. That's like saying you only have to watch Pride and Prejudice to know what's going to happen in A Good Day to Die Hard. You just can think of it either as a new adventure each time or a waste of time. It's your choice, Lottie."

There was something profound about his words that I couldn't place. And while it could've meant that he didn't think much of them either and that we were just talking about movies, it didn't feel like it.

Especially when it didn't slip my notice that his arm draped itself over my shoulder. Some things were impossible to let go of, and other things were impossible to hold onto ― it was the dichotomy of all things worth caring for. Worth keeping.

Being held so close to Blaise, feeling so surprisingly contented around him, there just might've been a part of me that thought he was.

♕ ♕ ♕

I didn't even know how to describe what I was feeling, which was a sad thing considering how I felt as if all weights lifted from my shoulders. But I was feeling it as I woke up and it felt amazing. Maybe because it was the day before Valentine's day and considering my track record with Blaise for the past few weeks, it was safe to say I could count on him to at least ask me out or surprise me with an interesting gift, maybe even from the antique store he had taken me to on Christmas.

Even better, he might even kiss me. This time we didn't need the letters, he could say he won post office for all I could care. Maybe for once, things would be genuine. No games, no gimmicks, just sparks.

My friends seemed to be singing a different tune however by the way they looked at me in confusion after I confessed everything to them.

"So let me get this straight," Hayley said, this time with none of her cheerfulness or hopelessness, but a serious face I could only imagine on Rachel out of the two of them. "You think Blaise might like-like you? As in no longer just kissing him, but relationship material."

"Yes," I asked incredulously, doing my best not to raise my tone at the two of them. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"He's Blaise the Bastard," Rachel said simply, not noticing the look of disapproval on Hayley's face.

"I get that you're not enthused," I said pointedly at Rachel who shrugged in admission. "But what about you, Hayley? You were the one who wanted this from the beginning."

"Don't get me wrong," she said, putting her hands up in surrender. "I'm all about you guys getting together, it's just that you're at a point where nothing I say or do can help you. At this point, it all comes down to whether you want this or you don't, Lottie. It's been four months, and if you aren't sure by this point, you might never be."

Well that was completely different than from what I was expecting. I didn't know what to do at that point, all of my heart had become a drumline; beating, beating, beating, like machine gun fire and it was too late for me to duck for cover.

"It all comes down to you and him bucking up to take a stand for whatever you want; be it you get together or not. So it's time for the both of you to ask yourselves, do you want this?"

♕ ♕ ♕

As if I were spun around and around by a whirlwind and flipped upside down, I found myself studying in the library, leafing through the first textbook in the pile. Something about it felt horribly wrong, not as tranquil as I heard from my friends and I found myself completely unable to focus.

People all around me seemed to fit into the groove already, either studying the way I was attempting to or they were goofing off and having humorous conversations towards the back of the room, making me feel like I stood out like a sore thumb. I only gave my surroundings in the library a quick glance, scanning for any open seats. If studying with Rachel and Hayley was unbearable, this was the same but tenfold. Everyone's negativity seemed to be absorbed by me, turning me into a bundle of frazzled nerves, my mind unable to conjure thoughts or even complete them.

I got up quickly, shooting out of my seat like a rocket, garnering some strange looks from the other students. I wasted no time gathering up my things before making my way out.

When I made my way out, with just my luck, I was caught in a huge crowd of people trying to navigate through the building to their next classes or to one of the cafes they had on campus. I didn't seem to know anybody in the crowd, so I just let it pull me away; not putting up a fight against bodies pressing against mine, elbows pushing past me, snippets of conversations not meant for my ears swirling all around me.

I heard all the usual gossip, like which teacher deserved a thumbtack underneath their seat for putting nothing from the study guide on the test, or who was the hottest girl in their psychology class. Since none of that interested me, I let it all blend together beyond recognition.

"- dude, Cohen pulls," a guy I was a few paces behind said when my mind lapsed into paying attention to his conversation. "You know that one chick he's been going out with since he got back? She's fine as hell, too."

"I doubt he's been with her since he got back," another guy said. "She looks like fling material anyway."

"I don't know, man," said someone else, "I'd tap that, I swear to God."

Don't use the Lord's name in vain," one teased before playfully punching the last commentator's arm. "God doesn't need to hear you talking about Bentley Richards in that way."

The name Bentley Richards was enough to send me over the edge, especially since I had met a girl named Bentley back on Martin Luther King Jr day. Was she the Bentley Richards in question? Blaise assured that she wasn't a threat when I first saw her on that elevator where we kissed. Maybe he was right - maybe he was the threat while she was just an unsuspecting accomplice in the grand scheme of Blaise and I never being enough for each other.

This time, I deserved to be knocked down a peg or two, considering how maybe it was my fault. I made him play post office with me, there was no point in being a sore loser. Sometimes, your worst trials were brought upon you by your own doing. It was a rather masochistic thought for a Saturday morning, but you couldn't rid yourself of such things.

At this point, all I could do was live and let die - hoping I didn't as well.

♕ ♕ ♕

The best - or maybe not best, but the easiest - thing I could do was get away from it all. Which was how I found myself in Delish, binging on muffins and trying not to think. Not just of Blaise or Bentley - but of anything. However, thought was its own self and invincible, unable to be killed, untiringly infinite. It was the last thing I wanted to possess such qualities, constantly finding myself vying in favor of loves that won't last against thoughts that always would.

And by the way Blaise stepped through the door, his eyes lighting up when they landed on me, maybe he was one of those constants as well. Maybe my thoughts kept him alive and he would be the one to haunt me forever.

"Hey, Lottie," he said, not even waiting to be invited before pulling up a chair for himself in front of me and reaching out for the basket of chocolate chip muffins. "I never tried these, are they good?"

"Yeah," I answered lamely, missing my cue to grill him about how he could actually date Bentley but play Post Office with me. Then again, I knew that no matter how much Rachel could call him Blaise the Bastard and how much I could believe her, if I sent him away then I would miss him as well. "Especially since there's secretly a warm chocolate filling inside that will melt in your mouth."

"Like you," he responded slyly, shooting me a wink before he bit into the pastry.

And on their own accord, or maybe the ghost of Rachel operating in me, the words "or Bentley," slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. They had a poisonous edge to them and while they were directed solely at Blaise, I couldn't deny the bitter sting of them in my mouth.

Blaise clearly caught on as well, by the way his eyes widened at my accusation, his jaw clenched shut and no longer chewing. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Secret's out," I said, trying to sound more confident but my voice was shaky. "You think I wouldn't find out about her. I'm not stupid."

"It's not that -" he started, but I cut him off by pulling the basket away from him and closer to me.

"You've been dating her for months," I said. "Was it before or after November? Because I recall you and your friend -" I made a pointed growl at his pants "- decided it as an opportune time to make out with me before thanksgiving. You weren't going to tell me about your girlfriend before you almost slept with me?"

"What girlfriend," he asked, looking at me incredulously and if we weren't like history - if we weren't bound to repeat ourselves, then maybe I would've believed him. "What makes you think I'm dating Bentley of all people?"

"I don't think," I snarled, "I know."

"Oh please," he rolled his eyes before taking his half-eaten muffin and stuffing it in my basket of untouched ones, getting his germs all over them. "Just like you know anything about Bentley Richards. Come back to apologize to me when you do. Maybe ask your friend, Rachel since she seems to think I'm such a bastard."

He got up from the table, turning for the door before he stopped and reached into his coat pocket and dropped something on the table. "It's a letter for you."

And with that, he stormed out, waves rolling and lightning cracking, but this time there was nothing for me to hold onto.

♕ ♕ ♕

I didn't want to talk to Blaise for obvious reasons, but his outgoing statements struck a nerve in me. What the hell would Rachel know about Bentley Richards?

Of course, I was too curious not to find out, hence how I found myself walking back to my apartment in the cold after making sure Blaise wasn't coming with me - I found out through snooping around and talking to people that knew him that he was playing basketball in the gym with his friends. I would've asked them about Bentley Richards, but they'd give me the same answer that I got from the other boys and I wasn't prepared for heading that again.

I took the lift up to the second floor, albeit stifling with the memories of kissing in there a month prior, gratefully stepping out to get to my apartment, shaking my head as I fumbled with the lock. Hayley must've been doing something with her boyfriend, Gordon - which Rachel and I were prone to walk in on from time to time, so one more time wouldn't have bothered me. I just needed to get inside, even if it meant seeing the two of them stark naked like I had at least three times before.

I felt the lock click, confirming that it was opened, and I braced myself before pushing the door open. Only this time, it was not the sight of Hayley and Gordon that I was met with, but Rachel and Bentley.

"What the fuck?"