Puns 71-80

Topic: School

- My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and do my homework she'll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn  

-Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?" Student: "A drinking problem."

-An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

-I hate jokes about prom. The punch line is always too long.

-Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay. He woke up.

-Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?" Student: "My father's check book!"

-My son was like "I got a D in my maths" and I was like "That's really bad" and my wife was like "you need to stop doing his homework."

-College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back.

-I received a call from the school telling me my son is constantly lying. I said "Tell him he's a good liar. I don't have a son."

-In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact.