She left me..its certain. Now...

I just want her forgiveness...
I never knew she felt bad...
But thats because she never told me.....she never told me anything...and i always tell her my crap...thats why she left me...but still...
I know...in my heart...if i were to ever date her again...it would be so much better if only she would trust me and tell me whats wrong...
But rn...i cant complain...
Everything is my fault...
Im not even her friend anymore!!!
Im just...an acquaintance....
I....just prayed...as embarrassing it is so admit it...but i prayed...she would learn to forgive me...i dont deserve it...but i wish she did...for all the horrible things ive done...so maybe one day...we will be friends again...just maybe...we will...

And just because this is over....doesnt mean u guys should start spamming me with confessions again...
Its gonna make me sad...
Rn...my heart belongs to one person..she may not love me back anymore...but until (if i ever) i get over it...i dont want any...
If u are please do through my best friend Miles
He will reject u for me
...

Ya know....i hear people all the time say im not an awful person thats it not my fault...but in the end it always is...
Everyone thinks i flirt..
But the way i am im always joking and it seems like i am!! But im not!!....
But again...she never told me how she felt or what she thought...so i never knew...
I told her what i felt...
And it drove her away...i knew she was stressed and stuff...but i wanted her to know...

If she reads this..i know u hate me...i know i probably wont ever learn to forgive me...i know u think i dont know what love is....but sweetheart...ur the one who doesnt...u literally said urself u didn't know how to love since u were never shown love it...i know i love u...i know u dont like what i did...but it only seemed that way...u never told me ur feelings...i make mistakes to im a human being...

And...despite me wanted to be the person...i hope the next person who comes along in ur life...treats u so much better than i do....i hope...he or she...makes u happy...

See...since we are only "acquaintances"...u may not speak to me after highschool..maybe to everyone else but not me...
But...i hope u do read this...so u know....

Haha....even my sister and brother are sad..im trying so hard to stay happy...
But im so sad on the inside....
I wanna cry....
And....i cut myself...
Sorry miles...i was so sad...

...
Well thats it...yea......eh...goodbye...