Y/N shuddered for a moment.

What do I actually want?

The turtles were in a bit of shock. Master Splinter stayed quiet. Casey put a hand on Y/N's shoulder.

"That's rough, buddy."

Y/N shook her head.

"He's gone. I think I've known he was gone for a long time but-"

"Y/N, don't say things like that." Raph said,

"Raph is right," Splinter says, "Never give up hope on your family."

"Y/N are you okay?" April asked sitting beside her.

"I guess."

"Y/N, you need to know that you're not alone. My whole life has changed because of the kraang. They changed who I really am."

"They kidnapped your brother?"

"My dad actually."

"I remember that." Donnie said,

"And I was so scared, Y/N. He was all I had. Until well," April looked around at the turtles, "These guys came to help."

"We didn't do that good a job at first, though." Leo recalled, smirking. "It was our first time on the surface."

"Did you get him back?" Y/N asked eagerly,

"Yes, but he has changed a bit."

"He's changed a lot!" Mikey exclaimed,

"Mikey!" Donnie scolded,

"So, was it a bad change?" Y/N asked. It sounded like the answer would be yes.

"It was a-" April looked warily at the others for a word she could use. They needed Y/N to stay and not be driven away again.

"Different change," April concluded,

Y/N huffed. She had wanted a more direct answer than that but she decided to leave it there.

"Well," She got up and started heading to her room. "I hope you guys got what you needed. I'm going to bed."

Y/N was going to bed but she lied about hoping they got what they needed. The only thing she was hoping for was an answer to what she was feeling.

She had become someone what content around the new group and it made her feel guilty. Jake could be suffering some where and she was here.

And she didn't really mind where she was.

But she minded that she didn't mind where she was.

Why was she getting comfortable?

Did I just need to socialize with people? Do I just like it here because the past few weeks before were hell?

There was a knock on Y/N's bedroom door. She wasn't changing or anything so she told who ever was on the other side to come in.

She was betting it would be Raph.

It was not.

"You left pretty quick, huh?" Casey said, "Hey you got a nice little set up in here."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, I came in here to tell you that uh- this is going to sound weird because I seem like a really relaxed kind of guy."

"Uh-huh,"

"It's okay to be angry."

"What?"

"You know like scream or punch something. It's okay. As long as you don't hurt anyone but bottling up like you do isn't good for you."

"I'm not bottling up anything."

"You literally just exploded in a rant about five minutes ago but you didn't really rant."

"Well maybe I just talk differently, who is to say. And I cried. That's probably normal in a rant."

"I'm telling you it isn't. Look, I understand what you come from. Being alone on the streets is hard. It's even worse when you're alone and you lose a sense of how to get your thoughts out."

"I suppose,"

"Hey, there you go. I'll let you in on a little secret." Casey motioned for Y/N to lend him her ear.

"Raph is a great dude to examine for how to and how to not take out your anger."

...

Not longer after Casey left the room Y/N peaked out the door. Donnie was no where in sight and neither was April or Leo. Master Splinter was walking back to his room and spotted Y/N. Y/N nearly shut her door, thinking maybe she wasn't allowed to be out but Master Splinter just gave her friendly wave and a nod. Y/N smiled and shyly waved back.

Mikey and Raph were on the couch watching TV. Well Raph was watching. Mikey was out cold, his head on his brothers shoulder.

Y/N finally completely stepped out of the room and went toward the two.

As soon as Raph saw Y/N, he was in shock.

"Well look who is up." Raph smirked, before motioning toward Mikey,

"Hey, in a few minutes he'll be in deep sleep. We can prank him then if you had any ideas."

"No umm," Y/N looked at the couch Raph sat on. He sat all the way to one side. Y/N didn't know if it would be inappropriate to sit next to him on the middle cushion or if Raph would be offended if she sat completely on the other side. So Y/N made a quick compromise and sat in the middle of the cushions.

Not exactly comfortable.

"Oh shit, is your you know what starting?" Raphael asked, seeming a bit uncomfortable, "Is that why you're up?"

"What?" Y/N asked confused,

"Because if it is, we keep the goods in a drawer-"

"Raph, are you trying to sell me drugs or something?"

"What no! I'm just asking if Aunt Flo is visiting you. And if that's why you're up.

"Aunt- Oh. No, Raph. She has not visited in a very long time."

"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that? Geez I'm an idiot."

"Yeah." Y/N agreed, "But for someone who I thought could help me with angry stuff, you're a bit sweet in a weird way."

"You need help with being angry? That doesn't make sense. You're not an angry person. Believe me, I know a guy with anger issues."

"Well, that's the problem. Casey told me I have a lot of anger bottled up. Which makes sense the more I say it."

"Hey if kraang took my family in one night, I'd be fucking pissed. Too soon?"

"Eh, it was an okay joke." Y/N said,

"See, if someone made a joke like that I would have kicked their ass. Trust me, you don't have a problem."

"Well maybe I'm just, you know, a passive person. But I'm really not. Like I've been conditioned to think like this but-"

"You've had a lot of time to think about this haven't you?" Raph said, clear concern in his voice.

"Well yeah. I've been homeless and alone for nearly a month. What did you expect?"

"Hmm," Raph thought for a moment. He took a quick glance at Mikey,

Nah, a war couldn't wake him up now.

"Come on," Raph got up gesturing for Y/N to follow.

"Where are we going?" Y/N asked,

"You want to take out some anger right?" Raph asked over his shoulder,

"What are we going to do?"

The two walked into the dojo.

"Oh no no no no no-" Y/N started, already about to turn heel,

Raph grabbed her collar, pulling her back in.

"Don't worry. We're not going to fight or anything. Actually, this might be a good time for you to get me back."

At that moment Y/N remembered the mark left on her chin and jaw. This offer was something she found that she wanted.

"You're going to let me punch you?" Y/N asked, astonished.

"I know, too good to be true." Raph said,

Y/N touched her chin again, something Raph tried to ignore but he couldn't.

"I think this will be good for both of us." He admitted.

Y/Ns fist flew right at Raphs eye.

Raph staggered back clenching his face, groaning in pain.

"Oh fuck." Raph waved his hands around, "Y/N, I can't see."

"Raph- I'm so sorry- I was just trying to-"

"Girl, I'm pulling your leg." Raph stood up tall laughing, "It will take more than a little tap to put on mark on me."

Y/N's fists clenched and she took another swing. Raph dodged with ease, yawning in the process and making Y/N more frustrated. Y/N decided to try a different tactic and launched her whole body toward him. Raph still dodged. He was surprised at her move though.

Y/Ns body slammed against the edge wood of the dojo and she curled up, clenching her mouth. She muttered something that sounded like "I shouldn't of done" through what sounded like a busted lip.

"Y/N, that was a nasty fall." Raph commented, trying to help her get up.

Y/N leaped again and Raph was too shocked to dodge. She landed on top of him, legs on either side. It would be like the first night except she would be victorious.

But no- she didn't see that. She could only see her mom dismissing her. Telling her,

"Don't you want me to be happy?"

Her fists came down, hammering.

Raph blocked them by holding up his arm. He could see Y/Ns eyes were clenched shut, tears streaming down her face.

Her fists slowed, and Y/N huffed, trying to wipe her eyes.

"You good?" Raph asked,

Y/N didn't answer him, but slowly leaned in for a hug. It wasn't meant to be romantic. It was the start of a friendship.

Everything else was quiet, Raph still held him self up with one arm and with the arm he had protected himself with, he now hugged her.

"Thank-you," she said,