"I can't." Kyungsoo answered and he looked away. He doesn't want to meet Jongin's eyes. All because he knows that Jongin will see how many lies those two words held. Or how painful saying those words.

When someone you like finally decided to ask you to stay with him, wouldn't you say YES? 

Wouldn't you agree and just be happy with him? 

Jongin looked down and tried to smile. "I understand." he mumbled, clearly hurt. "I guess i'm being way too forward, no?" then he forced a laugh that made Kyungsoo's heart break. 

Kyungsoo forced a smile. "Not really." he said and gave Jongin that apologetic smile he hates to give. It means you somehow turned them down, you hurt their feelings and right now, you wouldn't know if they'll stay. Or they will leave you just like anyone that got hurt will do. 

"Kyungsoo..." Jongin called and he lifted the camera to his face, still capturing Kyungsoo. "I'll come to the falls. With you, Baekhyun and Chanyeol." 

Kyungsoo slowly smiled. "Really?" he asked and sat up. "You're really serious?" 

Jongin grinned, finally letting out his hurt from a while ago. "Of course." he said. He zoomed into Kyungsoo's smiling face. "I already talked to my friend a while ago, i asked him to take care of the resort for a week or maybe two?" 

Kyungsoo nodded and bit his lip. "I guess i won't feel out of place around the two." he said with a grin. He looked back into the sea and smiled watching the happy faces of everyone. Jongin pushed the camera down, so he could stare into Kyungsoo's face for a little while longer. 

Something in his guts tells him that Kyungsoo could somehow leave him. 

Or hurt him. 

He doesn't understand. Yet. 

"Let's have lunch." Jongin suggested as he stood up and brush sand from his damp shorts. "And maybe later... let's watch the sunset together. How's that sounds?" then he reached out a hand for Kyungsoo to take. 

Kyungsoo, with a grin, took Jongin's hand into his and let him help him stand up. When he tried to pull his hand back, Jongin just clutched it tighter. Kyungsoo looked up at him with a frown.

"Something in me tells me that i should never let you go." Jongin whispered, the camera just below his nose. "You can say that i'm crazy... or i'm too forward. But... i just can't help it." he stared into Kyungsoo's eyes. He's definitely serious and he would never make a joke out of his feelings towards the other. 

Kyungsoo smiled sweetly and reached for the camera. He pushed it down, against Jongin's neck. And he leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Jongin's lips. He let it linger... for a few seconds. And then he pulled back, cheeks bursting with color and heart hammering against his chest. 

Jongin looked down at him, eyes wide with disbelief. And emotions. 

He's definitely falling in love. 

For the whole day, Jongin had let Kyungsoo into so many activities the resort has to offer. They went to hike on nearby mountains just to see the view from the top. He let Kyungsoo try the boats and scuba diving. Kyungsoo neglected the banana boat cause he felt like throwing up already. They ate cotton candies, ice cream, sea foods and many more. 

Everytime he's with Kyungsoo, Jongin feels different. He feels a certain type of energy that fuels him into doing everything for the other, no matter how hard it is. He knows that he doesn't want to see him go. He doesn't want Kyungsoo to leave him. And so he showed and made Kyungsoo feel how much feelings he is developing for him. 

They tried almost everything Jongin could offer. 

And well, that's basically everything. 

But if it's for Kyungsoo... to Jongin, everything will never be enough. 

He'll definitely give more than that. 

By the end of the day, they are both exhausted and sleepy. Jongin and Kyungsoo found their spot at the shore, looking at the open sea in front of them. Tonight, Kyungsoo will go home and they'll see each other again next week. 

"I will definitely feel empty for a week." Jongin mumbles as he played with the sand beside him. He stared into the sky, waiting for the sun to disappear into another place on Earth. He glanced at Kyungsoo to see him lying on the sand, eyes closed but not really sleeping. 

Kyungsoo smiled. "I'm very sorry to hear that." he says with a grin. 

Jongin pulled the video camera from Kyungsoo's hand and he turned it on. There is only one bar left and he bit his lip and tried to record everything. Just until sunset. 

"Open your eyes." Jongin whispered. 

Kyungsoo obeyed and he peered into Jongin with those tired eyes. "Why?" he asked, clearly confused. He expected Jongin to be smiling like someone about to tell a joke. But the taller looks really serious right now. 

"Did you enjoy this day?" Jongin asked as he cocked his head to one side, peering over Kyungsoo behind the camera. He loves looking into Kyungsoo's eyes whenever he's answering a question. His eyes never lied.

Kyungsoo grinned. "Of course." then he covered his mouth to yawn. "This is one of the best days. Ever." he added and smiled widely at Jongin. 

"That's good to hear." the other appreciated. "I really hope you'll never forget this day." 

That statement made Kyungsoo's smile disappear. He looked back into Jongin's eyes and when he can't take the guilt any longer, he looked away, breathing heavily. It pains him to know that's he's lying to someone he's starting to like very much. 

Kim Jongin is such a kind young man. He's very sweet and Kyungsoo appreciates everything he had done for him. He took care of him, never broke his promise and told him that he'll never let him go. He said those things, looking at him in the eyes. He said those things in the most truthful way he could muster. 

And Kyungsoo... he'll end up hurting him. 

"Hey look!" Jongin exclaimed and Kyungsoo looked back to see him pointing to the sea in front of them. The sunset is starting. Kyungsoo sat up and hugged his knees against his chest. He stared into the sun and somehow, it doesn't got his interest anymore. 

He slowly looked back at Kim Jongin, who is watching the sunset with awe. His smile is wide and very much happy. This made Kyungsoo finally tear up. He felt the tears, running down from his eyes to his cheeks. He wiped them with the back of his hand and exhaled a troubled breath. 

Everyday... Kyungsoo will wake up not knowing Kim Jongin. 

Everyday... he'll wake up with his mind completely empty of him. 

Everyday... Jongin will be washed out from his memory. 

Everyday... he'll be empty. Empty of him. 

Could he really do it? Everyday?

Kyungsoo watched Jongin with tears in his eyes. He watched him and he totally forgot about the beautiful sunset in front of him. He doesn't care about the orange and the pink the sun makes upon setting. 

He doesn't want it as much as he wants Kim Jongin. 

"Jongin..." Kyungsoo sobbed and the taller looked back at him. Upon seeing Kyungsoo crying, Jongin's eyes went wide and he tried to reach for Kyungsoo's hand.

"Kyungsoo... why are you crying?" he whispered, his voice comforting. "Did i make you upset?" 

Kyungsoo shook his head and continued to cry. He reached for the video camera from Jongin's hand and he put it against his face. "Kim Jongin..." he breathed as he started to record the man in front of him. Jongin looks curious and concerned as he stared back at the camera. 

"Kyungsoo... what are you--"

"Jongin, do you... do you like me?" 

Kim Jongin was taken aback with the question. Kyungsoo, afraid that he'll never see this again, pulled the camera down, just so he could see Jongin's face clearly. He wants to remember this. 

He wants to remember Kim Jongin. 

"Kyungsoo... why are you asking this?" Jongin asked, his voice is already laced with nervousness. Is Kyungsoo going to turn him down? Leave him? 

Kyungsoo shook his head lightly. "Do you like me?" he breathed and a sob escaped with it. 

"Kyungsoo, you don't know how much i do." Jongin whispered as he looked back into Kyungsoo's eyes. "I like you. I like you and words would never be enough to explain how much." 

Kyungsoo dropped the video camera against his chest as he broke down. He buried his face into his hands, sobbing and gasping for air. He never knew he'll feel like this for anyone. He never knew he'll feel like wanting to run into a brain center and beg everyone to help him get over his sickness. He wants to be normal again. He doesn't want to hurt this man in front of him...

The man he likes more than anything else. 

"Kyungsoo." Jongin gasped and he made his way to the smaller, pulling him into a hug. "What is happening? Please tell me why you're crying." 

Kyungsoo shook his head and he pulled free from Jongin's hold. 

"I'm sorry." he sobbed and immediately went to his feet. "Jongin, i am so sorry." then he ran back to his room. Jongin followed him, his heart beating fast because of fear. Seeing Kyungsoo run away from him is hurting him more than anything else. 

As he saw Kyungsoo ran for the stairs, a strong hand stopped him and he looked back to see his friend, Park Chanyeol looking at him seriously. 

"Let him be, Jongin." Chanyeol said and that's when Jongin noticed Baekhyun just behind him. His eyes are sad as if they knew that this event will come. 

Jongin pulled his arm back. "What are you saying?" he hissed. "I need to talk to Kyungsoo!" 

"You don't understand!" Baekhyun said. "You're just wasting your time." 

Jongin shook his head in disbelief. "What the f*ck are you saying?! I need to talk to him! I need to ask why he ran away and left me like---"

"He won't remember a thing." Baekhyun mumbled and he's almost crying. "He won't remember you." 

Kyungsoo left that night, with his car and all his things. 

When he reached his house, he watched all videos he took with Jongin. He studied his face and paused whenever Jongin is smiling. He studied his smile, his eyes, his nose and even his hair do. Kyungsoo sniffed and tried to fight back the tears. 

He continued to watch every single video clip. He wants to remember. He wants to remember everything about Kim Jongin.

"...I love swimming, reading, cooking and watching someone smile like you do."

"I'll take care of you, okay? Trust me."

"Hold tight and never let go."

"I'm right here, Kyungsoo."

"I like you. I like you and words would never be enough to explain how much." 

Kyungsoo bit his lip as he cried. He clutched the video camera against his chest as tears continued to travel down his face. It pains him so much that just because he's sick, he'll never be happy again. He'll never be with Kim Jongin. 

He wants to be well. But he can't hurt Jongin during those times. 

Kyungsoo doesn't want to sleep. He knows that tomorrow, his mind would be empty of Jongin and their times together. Could he bear that emptiness?

Hours, he stayed awake. Just watching the videos. 

Remembering his face. 

"Kim Jongin..." Kyungsoo breathed. "Kim Jongin..." 

He tried to remember. 

But sleep pulled him in. 

Kyungsoo woke up with the sound of his alarm and he slammed his palm into the clock, silencing it. 

He pushed the blanket below his chin and looked around his room. His eyes are puffy and he found it hard to open them. The video camera he was clutching from last night went to the floor with a thud when Kyungsoo got to his feet. He didn't notice it as he went to grab his towel from the rack beside his study table. 

He went to clean himself. 

Kim Jongin was totally forgotten. 

Do Kyungsoo got home from work and his best friend, Baekhyun was acting so weird. He looks at Kyungsoo with those sad eyes and he keeps on asking him to read and watch everything that's in his video camera. 

Kyungsoo tried to brush him off, saying that he's busy. 

But when Baekhyun said a certain name, Kyungsoo jerked up, like someone tugged him by the chest. Something in that name caught Kyungsoo's attention and he didn't know why. He felt like he heard the name already, or maybe read it. 

It felt so familiar that Kyungsoo felt himself spacing out during work. 

"Kim Jongin." Kyungsoo whispered when he found the video camera his friend was talking about. He turned it on and found numerous video clips and he was surprised to see himself in every one of them. 

He pressed the play button and watched. 

He watched... his eyes getting wide and teary. 

"Kim Jongin." Kyungsoo whispered and his voice cracked. 

And suddenly, all the pain came crashing to him again. 

The next day, 

Kim Jongin is again... a mystery.

A stranger. 

No one. 

And Kyungsoo will find the videos again. 

The notebook. 

The pain is continuous. 

After one week, Kyungsoo found himself reading his notebook at the living area. He already watched all the videos and he's wiping tears from his eyes. Kim Jongin is occupying his mind right now. He saw him in every videos. 

And something tugs in his heart. 

But what is it? 

*knock knock knock* 

Kyungsoo looked up from his reading and went to his feet to check the door. He looked at himself on the mirror and when he knew that he's decent, he made his way to the door and pulled it open. 

And there, looking at him with sad eyes, is the man he keeps on forgetting everyday of his life. 

"Kim... Jongin." 

Jongin looked surprised that he remembered him. "Kyungsoo." he said with a smile. "I'm glad you saw your videos already." 

Jongin studied Kyungsoo's face and he didn't change a bit. Except for the black circles under his eyes as if he never found a good night's sleep for the past days. Even the puffy eyes didn't miss his notice.

But he missed him. 

He misses him every second of everyday. 

"J-jongin... what are you doing here?" Kyungsoo whispered, unsure why tears are starting to form in his eyes. He tried to look away, or avoid Jongin's instense gaze but he felt glued to him. Like a moth to the fire. 

"I miss you." Jongin whispered and it's the truth. 

Kyungsoo pursed his lips and shook his head. "Go." He breathed and a tear rolled down his face. "Go. You can't see me again." 

Jongin stepped forward when Kyungsoo tried to close the door. "Why are you pushing me away, Kyungsoo?!" he asked, frustrated. "Baekhyun and Chanyeol told me everything! Kyungsoo... i understand!" 

"You don't understand anything!" Kyungsoo shouted and the tears won't stop. "You don't understand anything, Kim Jongin!" 

"Kyungsoo, i love you, okay?!" Jongin said as he looked at Kyungsoo in the eyes. "I love you and i am willing to help you with your memory. Just please... let me." 

Kyungsoo shook his head. "Can you even hear what you're saying?! Jongin, i WILL forget you everyday! I WILL forget you whenever i wake up from my sleep and go to work! I WILL forget you and i will be empty with the thoughts of you! Jongin! You are a stranger everyday of my life! Do you want that?! Do you f*cking want that kind of life with me?!" 

"Kyungsoo..." Jongin said and his voice cracked. "I will court you everyday if that's what you want. I will introduce myself everyday if it'll make you remember me again. Kyungsoo... i will never get tired. I will never leave you." 

Kyungsoo sobbed as he looked down, stepping away from Jongin. "I will hurt you... everyday." he whispered through the tears. "I wouldn't feel a thing... everyday. I will forget you... all of you." 

Jongin took a cautious step towards Kyungsoo, afraid that he'll run away from him. "Do you think i'm not afraid?" Jongin asked as he reached for Kyungsoo's hand. "Do you think i am not afraid that you'll never recover from your sickness?" 

Kyungsoo slowly looked up to meet Jongin's eyes. They are too sad. But honest. As always. 

"Kyungsoo... i am afraid, too." he whispered, a tear rolling to his cheek. "I am afraid that you'll never be the same again and you'll never remember me. I am afraid that you'll finally get tired of watching the videos and you'll give up. Or you'll give up on us, entirely." then he held his hand and placed it close to his chest. "But i love you, Kyungsoo. I love you and it's all i know." 

"Jongin... i can't hurt you." Kyungsoo sobbed as he met Jongin's pleading eyes. "I can't hurt you everyday." 

Jongin smiled through the tears. "You can hurt me over and over." he whispered and he kissed the back of Kyungsoo's hand. "You can hurt me, Kyungsoo. Just please... don't shut me out. Don't leave me like this." 

"Everyday, i'll never know Kim Jongin."

"I know."

"Everyday, i'll ask who you are and freak out."

"I know."

"Everyday, you're a stranger... not even a memory."

"I know, Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo pursed his lips as he studied Jongin's face. "And you'll stay?" he whispered.

Jongin smiled. "I will." 

Kyungsoo sobbed and he pulled Jongin into the hug he'd been longing for days. 

He suddenly had a reason to fight. 

And he's not giving up. 

Kyungsoo finally decided to go into a brain center that offers therapy for people suffering from short-term memory loss. Unlike people with amnesia, the doctors at the center said that Kyungsoo has a big chance in recovering from his sickness. They said that if given proper therapy, guidance and motivation, his brain might function normally again. 

For two years, Kyungsoo had confined himself in the center and had undergone numerous therapy and medication. 

Jongin never left. He even paid for everything although everyday, Kyungsoo looks at him blankly. 

He'll give the videos and the notes. 

And his Kyungsoo will come back. 

Everyday, he comes up with introductions. Something like:

"Good day, Kyungsoo. I am Kim Jongin, your boyfriend. Can you not see how perfectly we fit?"

"I am Kim Jongin, your boyfriend. It's a wonderful day. Would you go on a walk with me?"

"Hello Kyungsoo! You look gorgeous today. Do you want to watch some videos from your camera? See if you'll recognize me."

"Hey! Don't look at me like you don't know me, okay? I am your boyfriend!" And then Kyungsoo will raised his brow. "Oh, right. You forgot, sorry." 

"Can you remember me already? Come on, Kyung, i know you can do it!"

"Here. Watch the videos and look for me, okay? I love you and please remember that."

"Kyungsoo, it's a rainy day. I am Kim Jongin, your boyfriend, and i am here to be with you all day. And no! I am not leaving!" 

Everyday, Kyungsoo will give him that blank expression. 

And everyday, he'll remember him again. 

Day by day, Kyungsoo's mind started to work properly. He can remember Jongin's face without the videos. Even pertaining to him as the "kind looking gentleman from yesterday" when he asked the nurse about him. 

Once, he mentioned Jongin's complete name while talking to his doctor. 

Jongin carried the bouquet of flowers in his arms as he went to Kyungsoo's room. He just finished paying the bills for this month and he brought Kyungsoo another gift. Flowers seemed to make him smile these days. 

When he opened the door, Kyungsoo is still asleep on his bed. 

Jongin looked up at the clock and sighed. He came too early and he decided on practicing for an introduction first. Kyungsoo will surely ask who he is when he woke up. 

He placed the bouquet on the bedside table and settled beside Kyungsoo. 

He held his hand and brushed his lips over his knuckles. "Good morning, Kyungsoo. I am Kim Jongin and--"

Then Kyungsoo started to stir from his sleep. 

With a sigh, he opened his eyes and winced from the sudden light. He put a hand over his eyes and sighed again. "What time is it?" he suddenly asked his voice still hoarse. 

Jongin looked at his watch. "Uhm, 8:00am." he answered. 

Kyungsoo slowly looked at Jongin. "Kim Jongin, can you still remember that boating we did at your beach?" he asked and a slow smile appeared on his lips. "I would like to do it again." 

Jongin froze, still staring. 

Like what the--

"I said i'll recover right?" Kyungsoo said and grinned. "You never broke your promise. So i'll never break mine." 

"K-kyungsoo..."

"Jongin... I remember you." Kyungsoo whispered. "All of you." 

THE END