*Dan's POV *

"Who wants to play spin the bottle!?" I hear Tyler yell so that everyone can hear him.

Last time I played spin the bottle it didn't really end well. It was in 2013 and we were hosting a party in our flat for Phil's birthday. Everyone was so drunk, including Phil and I. I think Tyler was the one that suggested it too, just like this time. Everyone joined in and when it was my turn the bottle landed on Phil. I was so excited and we ended up kissing. I guess I wasn't as drunk as Phil though because in the morning he had forgotten all about it. Our first kiss and he didn't even know about it. I was too much of a wuss so  I didn't tell him, but sometimes I wish I had. I don't know if that would have changed anything, though. It just really hurt that he would forget something like that.

I take a shot at the memory and feel a buzz starting in my body. I'm not drunk yet, just a little tipsy.

Everyone seems to be heading over to the living area to play so I sigh and head over with everyone. Maybe I'll get to kiss Phil again. He wasn't really drunk, or tipsy even so he would definitely remember.

I sit in between of Phil and cat. The game starts and everyone starts to spin. Troye and Tyler have to kiss, so do Zoe and Caspar, and then Pj and Chris. Finally, it's Phil's turn to spin. He takes the bottle and gives it a push so that it starts to spin. It goes around and starts to finally slow down. It passes Tyler, Phil, and just when I think it's about to land on me, goes right past me and lands on Cat. (Don't hate me!! It gets better I promise!)

I felt crushed. Cat, of all people. She was awesome and I really liked her but I was worried. Cat was so nice and funny so it would be easy for Phil to like her.

I see Cat and Phil look at each other. It doesn't help that I'm in between them.

"Erm, Okay, let's get this over with then," Phil says.

Cat nods and leans in at the same time Phil does. I'm still in between them and have to lean back so that they don't bump into me. They kiss for a few seconds right in front of me and I feel a sinking feeling in my stomach. When they break apart I get up and start to walk away. I can't keep playing that game. Phil probably enjoyed the kiss with Cat anyways.

"Daaaaan!" Tyler slurs. "Aren't you gonna stayyy? It's your turn next!" I shake my head and walk over to where all the drinks are.

I pour myself 3 shots and down them all really quickly. I'll be drunk in no time if I keep this up. Good. I want to forget about that stupid kiss. I start to pour myself another shot when someone takes the bottle from me and sets it down.

"Heeeeeey! That's miiiiiine!" I say, and turn around to see the person who took the bottle from me. It was Phil.

I frown. "What do you want? Shouldn't you be in the living area sucking face with Cat?" I ask with as much bitterness in my voice as I could muster.

Phil looks taken aback. "Dan. It's just a game. Even if it wasn't why would you care?"

I feel tears start to prick my eyes at his words. "You're right. There's no reason for why I should care, it's not like we're together or anything. You can kiss whoever you want!"

I take the bottle of tequila that was on the counter and leave. I go straight into the bathroom and start to drink the bottle. I want to forget all about this night and just go home.

*Phil's POV *

I still can't believe that Dan yelled at me. I stand there, I front of the drinks counter for about two minutes frozen in shock. That's when I remember the text that Dan had sent my Cheeselover account earlier that day. Maybe I'll figure out what's been bothering him so much. I take out my phone and look at the message:

From llamadude:  well, you see, the thing I haven't confessed to him about yet is that I love him. More than a friend. I know it makes the whole mess that is my life shit and more complicated but I can't help it. I've been in love with him for a couple of years now and it's getting harder to hide. I don't want to tell him though cuz I think it'll ruin our friendship and I doubt he feels the same. That's my biggest secret. I've never really told anyone that. I'm glad I let it out, though, I hate keeping secrets. Especially from him.

I stare at my phone with my mouth hanging open.

Dan? In love with me? I can't believe it. I fell in love with him back around when we first met but I never really acted on it because I was sure he was straight and that he would never return my feelings. I kept it a secret too because I was scared. Now I'm starting to wish I hadn't.

I need to find Dan. I don't know what I'll say to him but I know Dan is more fragile than he seems. He must have been really hurt when Cat and I kissed. God, I'm so stupid! Why hadn't I noticed before? The kiss with Cat wasn't even that great. It felt wrong for lack of better words.

ugh, and Dan took the bottle of tequila with him too. I hope he isn't too drunk.

I start to look around for him, but all I see are drunk people. I see Caspar walking near me. I don't think he was really all that drunk, to be honest.

"Caspar!" I call out. He turns his head in my direction. "Have you seen Dan anywhere? I can't find him."

"Yeah, I was actually just coming to look for you. I saw Dan a couple minutes ago going into the bathroom. I think he was crying ad he had  a bottle of tequila with him. Is he Ok?" He asks.

"I can't explain right now, I have to go look for him but thanks, Caspar! I owe you one!" I pat him on the shoulder and all but run to the bathroom. I hope PJ didn't leave any razors out.

I get to the bathroom and don't even bother knocking the door. When I walk in Dan is huddled up beside the toilet singing a sloppy drunk version of My Heart  Will Go On. He doesn't seem to notice me at first, but then I go and crouch down in front of him.

"Ugh. What are youuuu doing here? Can't you see I'm trying to have some quality timmmme with my alcohol?"

I sigh. "Dan, you're drunk. please let me take you home."

He shakes his head vigorously. "Noooooooooo. You can't make meeeeee! I want to stay here foreverrrrr!"

"Dan, please. For me?" I could see him start to consider. "I'll buy you some malteasers."

That seemed to get his attention. "Okay, fine. But it has to be the jumbo bag."

"Deal," I say and help him up.

*

We were back at our apartment now. I helped Dan get out without injuring himself and said goodbye to everyone, even though they were probably all too drunk to really pay much attention.

I had laid Dan down on top of his bed. He seemed to be drifting asleep.

"Dan. You have to take off some of your clothes, you can't sleep in skinny jeans."

"You take them off," he mumbles. "I'm too tired."

I blush a bit. "Dan I'm serious, you'll regret it in the morning," I say again.

Dan closes his eyes but I can tell he's still awake. "I'm serious too, I don't have any energy left in me."

I sigh. I wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable. "Fine. But only so you don't wake up early because you couldn't sleep well."

I lean down and start to take his shirt off. When I managed to get it off and on the floor I gasped. He was gorgeous. I blush when I realize that he could hear me and look up to see a smirking Dan.

"Umm, Ok I'll just um move onto your jeans now." I probably sound like an awkward 12-year-old asking someone out on their first date.

Dan chuckles a bit and my face turns redder than it was before. I'm just glad it's dark in the room so he can't notice my blush as much.

I slowly start unbuttoning his skinny jeans. I curse internally for them being so tight as I have a hard taking them off.

When they're finally off and discarded onto the floor I look up at Dan. He was in boxers only. I must have been staring for a while because the next thing I knew Dan was talking.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." He says.

"I was just, uhh, making sure you were all good and comfortable." I lie unconvincingly. He definitely knew I was checking him out.

"Ok, well do you want to sleep in here again like last night?" He asks tiredly.

"Yeah, as if I could sleep with you looking that hot." I blurt out.

I could see the surprise on his face. He was only joking with his side comments. My eyes go wide and I dart towards the door. I call back to him over my shoulder.

"I'll, uh, see you tomorrow then. Goodnight." I say and dart right into my room.

I shut the door behind me and lean my back on it. What the hell was that?! I can't believe I behaved like that. One thing's for sure, though, and I'm just starting to realize. I've been denying my feelings so long I started to forget. But I can't ignore them now.

I was absolutely in love with Dan.

*

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Eeeeeek! Ok, so first let me start off saying I'm really sorry it took me longer to upload than usual, I was dealing with some personal stuff but I made sure to make this chapter extra long for you guys. Thank you so much for everyone who has been reading this,you guys meant a lot to me. And thank you to the person that voted and commented, you made my day so much better! ^_^ I was able to finish this today cause I was taking a vow of silence to bring awerness to harrassment and bullying of LGBTQ+ people and I couldn't talk (obviously) so I started to work on this. I hope you all liked it! I have some big plans for the next chapter. And also how would you guys feel about smut? It wouldn't be in the next one but I was thinking of maybe putting it in the one after? Idk you guys let me know and if no one comments i'll just decide. (»^_^»)

Thanks again to everyone who has been reading this! Ily all. If any of you ever need to talk or just rant i'm here for you guys. <3

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