Chapter 38

"I can't believe exams are here," Nessa says coming into the kitchen and meeting me by the counter surrounded by textbooks. "First term went really fast."

"Yeah yeah," I answer distractedly, trying to understand something. I am trying to do mine and Jamal's assignment in English knowing he's studiously doing mine and his in physics and I know if I stop for a second I'm going to go distracted and start staring at my phone again.

I sent a text to Sky and he hasn't replied. He hasn't replied!

"Oof someone's being serious," she laughs and I roll my eyes just before I hear cupboards open and shut. "I'm making noodles, want in?"

"Sure."

"If you want to read so bad, why aren't you in your room?"

With a groan, I finally look up at her, glaring while she averts her eyes and pretends she's not trying to distract me. "I got tired of staying in my room. Why are you bugging me?"

Nessa spins around quickly, slapping her hands on the counter. "Because I never see you anymore Is and school's first term is about to end and I want to talk and get in on all the juicy gossip."

"No juicy gossip," I sigh, shutting the book in front of me. "None at all."

"Oh come on," she tears open a pack of noodles, facing the boiling pot water on the stove. "How are things with Sky? And Darcy— she's been scarce around here. And how's the pressure of exams and you've been looking out of it lately, what's up with you? Just get me in on all the latest highschool stuff, I think I miss it."

"Why?" I get off the stool to help her chop up vegetables. "Has Josh dumped you or have you dumped Josh?"

Nessa laughs, "none of that has or will ever happen!" She smacks me and I can't help but chuckle. "You little runt can you not bring that out into the universe, please, I'd die!"

"You'd die?"

"Yes, I'd die," she yells and I have to cover my ears. "Josh and I are forever, if I have to go get some voodoo for that, I totally would."

"Goodness gracious Ness, that's crazy stuff."

She laughs and wiggles her hair with a jump. "It's crazy and I love him."

Love...

I pour the chopped peppers and onions and tomatoes into the boiling pot of noodles, "h-how do you know?"

"What?"

I shut the pot with a sigh and turn to her, my hands relaxed behind me. "How so you know you love him?"

Nessa exhales heavily, pulling herself up on the counter and swinging her legs. She does a one shoulder shrug, pressing a reddening cheek down. "I don't know, I just know. I um- sometimes I have to remind myself to breath around him. I can't imagine him not being around me you know. It's just there," she places a hand on her chest and shuts her eyes. "Warm, alive, strong."

Nessa inhales deeply and we end up exhaling together. Then she opens her eyes, catches mine and giggles. "Don't mind me," she waves a hand in front of her. "Why are you asking about love?"

I shrug and turn around back to the pot to hide my warm cheeks. "Just like that."

"No no spill," she jumps down the counter. "Is it Sky? Are you guys a couple now?"

I turn off the stove and shake my head. "We're not a couple."

"Why not?" She peeks into the steaming pot. "Are we sharing separately or eating it straight out the pot?"

"Straight out the pot," I answer and we nod together. "And just because, we're just not."

"Do you think you'd get there eventually?" She waves her fingers. "Forks or chopsticks?"

"Forks please," I pull out a stool to sit on, pushing my books one side and then I shrug. "I don't know."

"What happened?" Nessa comes to sit beside me handing me a fork.

"Um-" I stare at the noodles. "H-he said he thinks he l-loves me."

Nessa stops chewing on her mouth full to look at me and then she abruptly swallows, grabbing my hand and squealing. "Oh my gosh!"

"Nessa!"

"Sorry," she coughs. "Sorry but like, wow Is. What did you say?"

"Nothing," I shrug and when I look at her, my cheeks burn out of embarrassment. Why am I even talking about this? "I mean-" I don't complete that and instead proceed to fill my mouth with our spicy food.

"Is!" Nessa flicks my head. "What do you mean you said nothing?"

"I mean, he didn't let me say anything and what do you want me to say?"

"I don't know," she opens her palms to me. "Do you feel the same way?"

"I-I don't know," I answer, then follow it up with a sigh. "It doesn't matter, things went South from there even. He's gone."

"Wait, slow down... What the fuck happened and where did he go?"

"Nessa," I groan at her cuss but I think I should be getting used to it now. "Darcy caught us, I snapped at him and now he hasn't showed up to school in days."

"Wha--"

We decide to finish eating first before we talk and after that is done, I explain everything out to Nessa, blushing and cringing as I go.

"Oh my," she face palms and drags her hands over her face. "All these have been going on and you didn't say anything? Are you doing well?"

I shrug, "somehow."

"Darcy had no right to suggest treatment camp to you. What is wrong with her?"

I shake my head, trying to calm her anger down. "She doesn't know any better and honestly I've thought about that myself a couple times."

"Jesus Is!"

"I know better now," I quickly put in. "There's no cure for this. It isn't something to be cured and I shouldn't be ashamed of it because it's who I am. I get it now."

"You're damn right," she grabs my hands. "Nothing wrong about being gay, being yourself. Anybody that has a problem with it should come fight me."

I laugh, "like you have the strength to fight."

"I'd make fucking strength," she tells with me with a straight face. "Invent that shit up if I have to."

"Okay miss," she rolls her eyes and we laugh.

"Do you think he's mad at you?" Nessa asks gently, her hand over mine.

I shrug, "maybe, I don't know. He just disappeared."

"Have you gone to his house?"

I shake my head, getting up the stool. "I wanted to but like, what am I going to do if I get there? What if he hates me now?"

"He doesn't hate you," Nessa sighs, "at the very least, you both are still friends."

"Yeah," I drag a hand over my face. "I've been trying to focus on exams and stuff. Maybe it's best we don't meet for now."

"Why?"

"Huh?" I raise a brow at her.

"Why do you think it's best if you guys don't meet for now?" She elaborates. "Don't you want to see him?"

"I want to but then what?" I pick at my hair. "I'm tired of hiding and I bet he's tired too. It's exhausting and- I don't want to be out yet."

"Even for him?"

I just sigh in response, picking up the pot and dumping into the sink. Even for him.

"Is, do you love him?"

"I'm just sixteen," I say, turning on the tap and watching the water gush out like it's been waiting for this.

"So?"

I shake my head, "I-I don't know what love is."

"But-"

"No buts Ness," I turn to her with a tired expression, gathering up my books. "Please drop it."

The kitchen goes silent except for the running tap and I feel Nessa looking at me but I don't say anything. I don't want to think about it at all; I miss him but I don't think I love him enough to throw my life upside down. The fact that my life as it is even needs to change is tear-jerking enough, like... Why?

"Hey," Nessa puts her arms around my waist in a hug. I was about two inches taller than her and she smelled like butter. "Chill."

I chuckle dryly, "everyone keeps telling me that and it's kinda impossible to do."

Nessa chuckle, "you know I just wish I can put some kind of cape around you and shield you away from all the trouble and drama."

"I've got triple of it."

"And that's just makes you more special."

"Mm-hm."

"Is, I swear one day all this would make sense. Sky or even if it ain't Sky, someone somewhere is going to make it all make sense and the pain is going to go away."

I feel a sting behind my eyes and my throat is scratchy when I ask, "promise?"

She smiles up at me and pats my chest, "promise."

"Okay," I kiss her cheek, moving out the embrace and packing my books. "I'm going out, I'd see you later."

"See ya!"

I walk out, turning on the car and taking out my phone from my back pocket. Then on second thought, I lock up the car and decide to walk. I swipe open my phone going over to the gallery and looking at a picture of Sky, the very one I stole from Facebook, one of my favorites. With his cat eyes and lovely smile, when I'm with him everything does makes sense.

With a sigh, I shove my phone back into my pocket, convincing myself that it's not worth it. But then I walk over a mile to Cream and Karim and I spend every minute of it thinking of Sky freaking Hunt.

And then when I get to Cafe all warmed up and a bit tired from the trek, I still have a smile on my face and I end of up ordering coffee. All because of Sky.

Again the place isn't filled up, there's just me, an old man and a little girl eating some kind of cake and then the guy by the long glass window with a book over his face. Ever since Darcy brought me here, I decided I like the cafe. Unlike the event that brought us here, it has a kind of calming sense to it and it like I'm in my own outside little word and the shortcake is great. I've been here four times already and all those times the boy at the window remains a constant.

"One super mocha right up," the girl that's usually at the counter says, dropping the steaming cup before me. I startle a bit, surprised to see her since she usually calls out name of whatever customer from the counter.

"Um-" my eyes land on her light brown ones. "Thanks, you didn't have to come- I've could've just-"

"Nah, don't mind it," she waves me off and I thankfully shut up. "I needed the little walk."

"Ok," I look down at the cup of coffee. "Thanks then..."

"Nile," she stretches out a hand with a smile.

I smile back and take her hand in mine. She has a ring on her pinkie and another on her middle finger. "Israel."

"I know," she laughs. "You've told me a couple times and we're in the same class."

"Oh," I blush in embarrassment. "Your name's pretty."

"Thanks, yours too." I smile at her and with a little wave she says, "enjoy" and walks away and my eyes follow her, trying to get a better look and recognize her if possible.

I think I do recognize her. I've never spoken to her before for sure but I think I've seen her permed, dyed golden hair before around class and the hallways. Especially around... My thoughts freeze up when I see her walk up to the table by the window and the book over the regular guy's face lowers to reveal. . . Louie St Martin.

His short hair has grown out a bit since the last time I saw him and he looks extra good now especially since he has a smile directed at the barista Nile. Somehow I shift from watching Nile to watching Lou— as always— my coffee getting cold. Someone calls from inside and Nile slaps her hand on the table getting up with a groan and skedaddling away. Lou laughs loudly after her and coincidentally turns my direction, meeting my eyes with his.

A hiccup comes from nowhere and I quickly look away, burning hot and picking up my coffee to take a sip. Unfortunately I miscalculated how cold or hot it has become and the liquid bastard scalds my tongue. "Moses beard... Bloody..." I hiss, smacking my tongue against the roof of my mouth and unable to help it, my head disobeyes and turns back towards Lou.

He still has his eyes on me and now his eyes are crinkled up, clearly amused by my stupidity. This time I don't look away, it's kind of like I'm unable to. Lou looks away first, averting his gaze for a second back to his book and I have to blink twice when I see him get up and start walking to me.

Oh no... Fight or flight?!

I look away and back at my backstabbing coffee but I don't need a wizard to tell me that it's too late. I hear him and I see his shoes before I look up, meeting the curious blue eyes that always look like their up to something. He gestures to the other chair across me, "may I?"

I just nod, wrapping my palms around my coffee cup, soaking up the warmth and actually blowing on it before taking a sip. He's already sitting and I am too aware of... everything. My eyes meet Lou's and I catch him in the middle of releasing his lower lip from the cage that happens to be his teeth.

Lou grins at me, "Hey."

I look at him, my mind not believing what my eyes are seeing. He is actually here, sitting right across me and looking as good as ever. Not trusting my mouth to behave, I wiggle three fingers at him, realizing how awkward it is to that two seconds too late and focusing on my coffee the next.

I hear Lou chuckle to himself and I know not even my skin colour can hide the fact that I'm fatally blushing. This is the kind of thing that results in implosion. He points his book at me, "I didn't peg you as a coffee guy."

I look away from my coffee and back at him. The white hoodie he has on is the same from the school hall the other day, white looks good on him. My eyes flick to the book and back at him and do a one shoulder shrug. "And I didn't peg you as..." My eyes return to the book. "...Red, White and Royal Blue book kind of person." Huh?

Lou looks at the book and winks at me, "it's a good book."

I lift my coffee cup a little, "it's a good drink."

"Ah, touche."

"Mm."

"It's a bit weird seeing you here, to be honest," he says, relaxing back on his seat. "I never see you here."

"You're a regular?"

"Everyday."

I nod, sipping from my coffee again. "Because of the homeliness, drinks or... Nile?"

He smirks, "all three?"

"Ah," I drawl, keeping his look and hoping to tease.

He shakes his head a bit, "it's a perfect place to read, the hot chocolate is to die for and Nile's my best friend who lives right upstairs so I sometimes chill here while she works."

"Best friend?" I repeat, quirking a brow at him.

"Yes, best friend," he moves closer to the table as if challenging me to say something about that. "Doubt that?"

Surprisingly I pick up the challenge, leaning to the table too. "Maybe," I shrug, blushing and getting embarrassed myself. "I've heard you get cold often."

Lou pinches his brow in confusion but when I don't look away, he eventually gets it and I get the privilege of seeing the great Lou blush. He actually blushed... Cute. "Ha," he looks away laughing to himself, then he runs a hand through his short hair. "From who?"

I lean back into my chair, crossing my leg over the other and sipping on my coffee. "Sources."

"She's really just my friend, really."

I look at him long before I nod, "okay."

"I'm serious."

Now I laugh, "I am too."

"She's like a bloody sister," he finds the need to emphasis and I finally drop the coffee cup down.

"Okay."

"This 'sources' it's Sky, isn't it?"

Before I can reply him, my phone vibrates on the table and I look away from him. It's a text from Sky... Speak of the devil.

My heart skips and everything around me dulls away a bit as I swipe open the text— Can you meet me at the beach?

I gulp and quickly send a reply— when?

Now? His response is just as immediate.

"Sure," I mumble under my breath, sending out a written answer. I lower the phone and my eyes meet Lou watching me with his arms crossed in front of him. "Sorry, I have to go now."

His lips purse a bit and he nods, "okay."

I gather up my things and get up but before I walk two steps away, I turn back to him. "Um-- sorry but did you bring a car?"

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We're about coming to an end guys. What do you think happens next and how was the little conversation with Lou?

Thoughts?

Vote and comment.