Jasper

I can't sleep. Her words haunt me. They break me somewhere deep inside.

Why can't she be my friend? What's wrong with me? Why does it matter so damn much?

It's been almost an hour since she left and I still feel so damn hollow. There's only one thing that can take my mind off this.

I grab my keys and pull a shirt on. My moms might kill me for leaving in the middle of the night, but I need this. I need to stop feeling like I did something terrible.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I'm at the storage building, lifting the door up and breathing in the air of my music all around me. Thousands of pages of songs, tacked to the walls. An acoustic guitar is in the right corner and an amp in the left.

I switch on the light and pull the door back down, closing myself in.

I sit down in the small arm chair right in the center and pull my legs up. I open my notebook and close my eyes to feel the words as they flow through me.

When I finish the song I already know the tune. I don't normally write this way, but I don't normally write songs about girls either.

I pick up my guitar, strumming until I find the perfect chord. As I sing along to the notes, I stop every once in a while to write it all down.

🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

I glance down at my watch and it's five in the morning. I really could get lost in here for hours. I rip the page from my notebook and tack it up on the wall with the other songs, before setting to work on another.

It's like Malia is my muse. By the time eight rolls around, I've written three complete songs. I know it's time to go home. My party starts in just five hours.

I pull the door up, taking one last look at my little studio and close the door back down.

It's bittersweet riding home. I wonder how things will be from this point forward. I realized something while writing those songs, and the enormity of it takes my breath away. I, Jasper Jacobs, am a lost soul, just swimming in the fish bowl of life and I am not just lost, I am desperate for something more. Something great that fills me up inside like nothing else ever has. Human companionship.

I walk into the house like a robot, ignoring my moms' questions and heading straight for my room. I'm not capable of answering right now.

I lay down on my bed, willing sleep to consume me and take away this feeling inside me. It's like the eye of the storm, brewing as it sets ablaze everything around me. I close my eyes, clenching only to hope that things will be better after I rest.

I ignore the knock on my door, turning to face the wall.

"Jas." Malia says, coming to sit beside me on the bed.

She reaches out for me, but I stay still, trapped inside my fear.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"No." I choke out. "Please go away, I need to be alone right now."

I want more than anything to tell her to stay, but I can't force the words out. I made this bed, now it's time for me to lie in it.

"Is it-" she stops and takes a breath, "is it because of me?"

I don't answer her because I can't imagine hurting her anymore than I already have. The only thing that runs through my head is the lyrics to the song I wrote about her.

All I want from you is just one chance, to prove that all I'm asking for is to be your best friend. So tell me why won't you let me in?

Malia sits there for several moments, saying nothing. I don't look at her or acknowledge her presence. When she finally gives up, she walks around the bed and drops to her knees, forcing me to look at her. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, then open them to look back at her.

"I'll be whatever you need me to be. Just please say something."

I swallow, and reach out to touch her face.

"Please leave." I say.

A tear falls down her cheek, and I swipe it away with my thumb.

"I really need to get some rest. It's okay, I'll see you in a few hours."

🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶

I wake up at exactly noon. It's barely an hour until the party starts and I've got to hustle to get my shit together.

I feel better after having rested, and even more so after her last words to me. I still don't understand why this is so important to me.

I keep thinking about the song, which I named That Girl. Maybe one day I'll be able to play it for her. Maybe one day things will be easier and I won't have to fight so hard just to spend a little time with her.

Maybe one day she'll let me be her friend.

The only solid conclusion that I can come to, even in my dreams, is that I'm drawn to her lost soul and I need to be the one to save her from herself. The only problem is, Blair is never going to allow it.

Blair will see it as more than it truly is, and there's no way I can convince her otherwise when I can't even explain it to myself.

I force myself to get up, and pull on some clothes. I run a hand through my hair and spritz on some cologne, deciding I'm presentable enough.

As I make my way downstairs, I'm met with dozens of people rushing around the house in preparation for the big party. My moms always tended to go overboard on these things.

There's caterers and event staff currently filling my living room, and my eyes wander the area until I find her.

I walk hastily over to her, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the hallway.

"I'm sorry. It's not you Malia. I'm in a weird place right now. I didn't mean to hurt you, I just really need a friend." I swallow as my eyes search hers and she says nothing for several moments.

"I'm here Jas." She finally says. "I'm not going anywhere."

I pull her in for a quick hug and then race off to the back yard so my moms can put me to work.

"Where the hell were you last night Jasper?" Momma says, a hand on her hip.

"Out."

"Well don't pull that shit again. You're lucky I'm not banning you from your party."

I nod, not knowing what else to say.

"I'm sorry momma." I manage.

"Go greet the emcee. You'll need to give him directions on what he has to do. Here's the list." Janet hands me a list and pushes me back inside.

I fucking hate birthdays.

I make my way to the living room, quickly spotting the emcee. My moms always use the same guy.

"Hey Jasper." He greets, showing me a row of pearly whites. "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks. Mom wants me to discuss the list with you, but first, can we talk somewhere alone?"

The emcee nods and I abruptly turn and walk towards the back hall. In a whispered hushed voice, I tell him everything I need him to know.

He nods once and then I hand him the list. The next thirty minutes are spent going over every last detail of the list.

At fifteen till, I make my way back outside to the back and gaze at all the beautiful decorations. Every tree in the yard is shrouded with twinkling lights. There's a large white pulsing dance floor in the middle of the yard and the deck is covered in crepe paper and balloons. At the entrance, is an archway covered in lights and standing beneath it is Malia looking like an angel.

Her soft brown hair is cascading down her shoulders and her hands are working it into a quick ponytail. She notices me immediately and I give her a smile before looking away.

It's been a little awkward between us since last night, but I soon plan to rectify that.

I walk over to the table at the entrance, making sure everything is stationed correctly. Each guest will write their names down on a slip of paper and toss it into the bowl on the table. When the dares are picked, the emcee will choose a name to help in completing the dare.

Next to the bowl is a clipboard where the names will also be written, so that each participant can be checked off as we go. At the very top of the list, is Malia and Blair's name. I hastily write mine underneath and toss my name into the bowl.

I make my way over to the food table, running over each item to make sure everything is ready.

At five till, guests start to arrive.

My anxiety is peaking at its highest form, and my stomach is a ball of nerves. What happens next will either make or break me.

Ten minutes later, the table of presents is already piled high, and the back yard is so full of people that it doesn't seem like another person could possibly fit.

The emcee takes the stage and his voice flows rhythmically around the crowd. He is a natural on stage.

"Good afternoon everyone!" He shouts. "First let me start by saying Happy Birthday to Blair and Jasper!"

The crowd screams 'Happy Birthday' and Blair smiles widely. Malia looks uncomfortable next to her.

"Come on up here Blair and Jasper."

I make my way up to the still pulsing dance floor and take a bow. Blair does the same beside me.

"Who wants to get this party started?" He yells into the microphone.

The crowd goes wild with cheers. I drag my eyes away from Malia long enough to survey the reaction of those around her, then I'm right back to staring at her.

"Well then it's time to play The Box of Sin!"

More cheers erupt from the crowd.

"If you don't already know the way this game is played, let me explain. A name will be called and you will come up and close your eyes and reach into The Box of Sin." He says it so smoothly yet so terrifyingly that my skin starts to crawl in anticipation. This guy could make anything sound scary.

"You will pick Truth or Dare, and the item you draw will be used to seal your fate. Choose wisely, because if you fail, you will be crowned the loser. In this game, we don't celebrate the winners, we celebrate the losers. Now if the birthday girl will step right up and pick her poison."

The crowd goes silent as Blair steps up and closes her eyes. The box is opened and the emcee helps her to choose an item.

Blair opens her eyes as she pulls out a magic wand. She pales and I laugh loudly.

"Truth or Dare Blair?" The emcee asks.

"Dare." She shouts.

The crowd starts to cheer again and I know that this is gonna be good.

"Your Dare is to use this wand and make someone in this crowd disappear. We hope you know the tricks to magic, because otherwise you fail and that crown is yours. Bring me the bowl."

A woman steps up onto the dance floor and holds out the bowl. The emcee pulls a slip of paper and smiles.

"Johnny Delgado. Looks like it's your lucky day Johnny! The great and powerful Blair is gonna poof you into thin air. You have five minutes to discuss exactly how you will make this happen and then you will be called back to the stage to perform."

I know there was no way in hell Blair can pull this off. She can't even get a card trick right. It looks like for once, I will get the upper hand and bragging rights. I certainly wasn't going to lose this year.

"Okay, Blair and Johnny, come back up and give us your best shot."

Blair looks panicked as she walks back to the stage.

I hope you like being mocked Blair. Now you're gonna see what it feels like.

Blair grabs the microphone from the emcee and looks out to the crowd.

"We forfeit." She says with a frown.

The crowd starts to boo and I smile as a loser crown is laid atop her head. Blair takes it in stride and smiles brightly.

"Jasper pick your poison."

Here we go.

I step up to the box, closing my eyes and letting the emcee guide my hand inside. I quickly pick my item and open my eyes. I also pale when I realize what it is.

Is this some sick joke?

"Ohh Jasper great pick!" The emcee says. "One lucky lady will get fifteen minutes alone with Jasper. Your dare is a twist on seven minutes in heaven. For fifteen minutes, you will have your way with her. The only the catch is, I must hear noises or you lose. Who is going to be that lucky lady?"

The emcee reaches into the bowl and I hold my breath.

"Malia Tate." He says.