Mom: *hands me some fireworks* Here you go. Set something on fire for your mom. Just don't tell your momma.

Me: I am the god of destruction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Me: The risk I took was carefully calculated

Dabria: WE ALMOST DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: I never said I was good at math

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Mom: Jay wake up!

Me: I'm not sleeping, I'm dead. Leave flowers and get out.

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Me: I'm having problems with a person

Dabria: Like "there dead body won't fit in your box" problems or "you like them" problems

Me: "I like them" problems

Dabria: To bad, I would have actually helped you with the other one.

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Me: And if you see Ro give her this message.

Me: *makes a neutral face*

Me: She'll know what it means.

[later]

Dabria: Oh, and Jay said to give you a message

Dabria: *makes a neutral face*

Ro: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

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(A scenario that I wish would kinda happen. But it would go differently)

Me: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!

My crush: In a dating type of way or an assassination type of way?

Me: I don't know surprise me!