Chapter's song: Meghan Trainor, Like I'm Gonna Lose You

My chest tightened as I swallowed hard. "What are you doing here?"

Bryan cast his eyes down for a moment, swallowing hard. "I'm sorry, Jess. I've been...occupied."

I crossed my arms across my chest. No shit. "I know, apparently, you were so unavailable that you couldn't check your messages," I nodded to myself pursing my lips.

I was pissed. So, so pissed.

How dare he show up at my house as if nothing had happened?

I'd been waiting for a text, a smoke signal, anything from him. I'd been worried about him, but now I was just angry.

I'm not a toy to play around whenever the hell he wants to.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Look, let me explain why- "

"Too late."

His eyes were intense as he gazed at me. My determination faltering for a minute, because despite the fact that he was looking as handsome and clean-up as always, he looked sad, tired even.

No, Jessie. Be strong. You have dignity. He can't play you.

Biting my lip, I creased my brows as I averted his eyes. "You're my boss Bryan and we're bound to see each other every day. I don't think this is a good idea."

"Hadn't we talked about it?"

I looked up. "Well, apparently not enough."

Things happen for a reason.

I always believed in that. If things seemed too complicated to begin with, it was a bad omen. This was just not meant to be, as simple as that.

Even if this was breaking my heart already.

"Jess?" Juno's voice sounded behind me.

No Juno, not now. Please. She stepped beside me, glancing curiously at the guy standing at the porch.

"Bryan!" She looked at me with stern eyes. "I told Jessie that you were indeed coming, didn't I?"

By all means, rub salt on the wound. It's not hurting enough.

"Bryan just came to ̶ "

"Pick you up," Juno stood up straighter, raising an eyebrow.

I wanted to roll my eyes and tell her to stop it. Instead, I pressed my lips in a tight slash, my stomach already rolling. "He just came to apologize, Grandma." Back-off Juno.

Juno's eyes narrowed before she turned to him with a wide, forced grin. "Well, in that case, would you mind coming in? I baked cinnamon rolls today for breakfast, and I saved a you a couple." Oh, for fuck's sake.

"Thank you Juno, but I don't want to impose," Bryan's tone was wary. Good.

"Never, Bryan." Juno walked away to the kitchen. Not without sending me one of her rare you're-in-trouble glares.

Without looking at him, I moved to let him step inside. "I just need to talk to you, Jess."

I don't. I didn't say anything, though.

He exhaled slowly before passing next to me, the dark scent of his cologne engulfing me, as I felt like I was dying a little inside, because damn it, I wanted to hear him out, but I also needed to draw a line here. He could not step over me like that. Be strong.

Juno was making coffee when I leaned on the kitchen's threshold. My whole body felt tense, like if I was carrying the world over my shoulders.

Bryan was seated in front of the kitchen table, his eyes turning to me as soon as I reached the room. He did feel guilty; it was written all over his face. A shaky breath left my lips as I met his stare.

Juno placed a mug and a cinnamon roll in a plate in front of him, making light conversation; about the weather and silly stuff like that. She didn't venture to ask him about his whereabouts or what the hell had he done during the week.

Bryan's voice and Juno's laugh made Seth come out of his room with a frown on his face. "Is that ̶?" I nodded. He sent me an empathetic smile stepping inside the kitchen.

He did pat Bryan too hard on the back when he greeted him, and my lips curved up on a half-smile. My little brother and his big-brother attitude.

Time passed slowly, torturing me as I tried to solve Bryan's mystery to no avail. I didn't talk much, but I did listen to everything, and by the end of the hour, I was still clueless at what had happened that had made him go away.

Could it be his mom? Could it be one of his restaurants?

I had no freaking idea, and my head was spinning with too many theories. If it were his Mom, I'd feel terrible because this would be time to be there for him. On the other hand, if he didn't reach out for me, was I supposed to be waiting for him to open up? Couldn't he send a freaking message or something?

Ugh. I hated this.

Yet, I hadn't made this mess.

He had.

Finally, he finished his coffee and thanked Juno before standing up. She gushed like a little girl and this time, I did roll my eyes. Come on. She didn't have to She didn't have to tell me to walk him to the door, but I knew that if I didn't do it I'd be in so more trouble than what I was already.

With a foil package containing two more cinnamon rolls, Bryan stepped outside my porch. I didn't want to follow him to his car, so I just leaned on the rail in silence.

"I am sorry, Jess. I should have called you or texted you. I was just in a really bad place," he turned to me, running a hand through his hair.

I stared at him, a shaky breath leaving my lips. Is this how it's going to be? With added drama? What if things don't work out between us? I couldn't keep working with him if we broke up and he started to see other girls! And I need this stupid job! It's the best pay I'd ever had; plus, I'm learning something!

"I'm sorry, too," I bit my lip, casting down my eyes before summoning the courage to look up again. "But I think it happened for a reason, and I love my job. You, being my boss, complicates things." My heart constricted at the same time my stomach plummeted to the ground. "I don't think it's wise that I date my boss, you know?"

Silence fell like a heavy blanket upon us. It was almost suffocating.

After a second or two, he nodded. "I get it." His eyes looked stormy, as if he was going through an internal battle himself, but he didn't look like he wanted to elaborate and I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it either.

"But I can be your friend, and I can listen to you and you know, give crappy advice," his lips tugged up for a millisecond, making me feel better, "crappy, but delivered with the best intentions."

"I might need that crappy advice, though."

"I'm here for you." The words stumbled out of my mouth in haste, because even if I understood that dating was not the option, I cared about him, hell, I was pretty sure I was in love with him and I meant it. I was there for him, even though it meant that my heart could break at any moment, I was there for him, no matter what.

He visibly swallowed hard, took a step closer to me, making my heart skip a beat as he placed his hand over mine. "I know, Jess. Thank you." His touch felt scorching before he pulled away and I so wanted to beat myself for pushing him away.

What the hell am I thinking?

I love him! I want him to kiss me! I want everything with him!

But, what if it doesn't work out?

Are you willing to risk everything for it? Seth's tuition, helping Juno at home, going back to the dinner or cleaning bathrooms at the cinema again?

"I'll see you on Monday, Jess," his tone was soft, laced with guilt and regret as he raised the foil package Juno had given him. Bobbing his head once, he stepped away towards his car.

I wanted to reach out for him, but at the same time, I didn't.

This was for the best.

I was feeling all crushed down already and we hadn't even dated.

I didn't wait for him to leave, with tears pooling in my eyes, I walked inside, closing the door behind me, feeling awful about it all.

"I told you he would come." Juno's voice was stern as I closed my eyes for a second.

"I can't do this, Juno." Not right now. Please.

"Did you guys talk it out?"

I nodded. "We're friends..." Ugh. Friends. I never thought that word could feel so heavy and obtuse at the same time.

"Great," I heard her voice start to fade as she stepped to the kitchen, "because I invited him for Thanksgiving next week."

I opened my eyes, feeling my breath caught in my chest. "What?"

Juno gazed back at me. "He's a good man, Jess. I won't let you push him away."

"But ̶ "

"It will be okay. Plus, he's helping me prepare the turkey, too. So sweet of him."

I pushed myself away from the door and followed after Juno. "When the hell did this happen?"

She grabbed her apron and laced it on the back. "You were right here, honey. You heard it all?"

"I was?"

Juno beamed at me. "Can't wait until next week!"

My shoulders sagged. Freaking awesome.

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