Chapter's song: Treat you better by Shawn Mendes

Friday didn't get fast enough.

I was tired of having to put up with Nadia and her stupid glares or the way she was making me go fetch her lunch ─because even in a culinary school, she couldn't have anything prepared from the hands of former delinquents.

I swear my eyes had developed new muscle strength from all the eye-rolling I'd been doing lately. The worst part was that Bryan was still a no-show.

I didn't know anything about him. I didn't know where he was, or what had happened...nothing, nada.

I called him, several times actually, to no avail. He either had his phone off or the earth had swallowed him. I was rooting for the latter, because the other choice felt devastating.

Here I was, a naïve, stupid student, that had played a dangerous game with her teacher, who was also her boss, only to find out that it was just a game.

I was angry at myself for letting him use me, for wanting him to use me like that. For falling in love with him without any restraints.

I loved him so much that sometimes, I thought that it didn't matter if he just liked me a tiny bit, my love was enough. I know, pathetic. I felt like I had no dignity left, that it disappeared with him too.

Exhaustion consumed me as I dragged my feet through the streets to get home. All this guilt, loath and desperation were getting the best of me. I couldn't stop thinking about him, couldn't stop wanting to have gone further along with him, knowing full-well that there was the possibility that I meant nothing to him, and each that, that possibility seemed to increase its size.

Then again, did I really know him? I knew little snippets of him, only half-truths that he'd chosen to reveal. I didn't know him completely, fully, like he knew me. That thought angered me, but it also made me feel pathetic.

Unrequited love sucks.

Unlocking the door to my house, I left my backpack on the little foyer table before making my way to the kitchen. It felt cold and empty, meaning Juno wasn't home. What a shocker. She'd been going out for the last week to who knows where with Mr. Gomez. They usually returned really late if they did. Talk about reverse rolls.

"Seth, are you home?" I slumped on one of the kitchen chairs, crossing my arms on the table and laying my head over them. The thick silence was disturbing.

It was Friday night, probably both Seth and Juno had dates.

Freaking awesome.

Why don't you rub salt on my wounds while you're at it?

I scrunched up my nose. Boy, did I sound sour. Sighing, I got up and peeked inside the fridge. There was some sort Chinese leftover. I wasn't really hungry, but I didn't feel like cooking. I reheated it and vegged in front of the TV watching reruns of Supernatural until my eyes closed on its own.

***

The scent of coffee woke me up. After the week I'd had, this was the best way to flutter your eyes open. Coffee and cinnamon rolls?

Yawning, I pushed myself off the couch and slumped my way into the kitchen. Rightly so, I saw my grandmother taking out a tray of cinnamon rolls out of the oven. It smelled so good that I could eat half of the tray in one go.

So what If I'm eating my emotions away? At least they're tasty.

Her lips tugged up on a warm smile as her eyes laid on me. "How are you feeling sweetie?"

"Like crap," I mumbled as I reached the coffee pot.

Juno chuckled. "Well, good thing I made you cinnamon rolls, huh?"

I smiled at her and after pouring myself some coffee, I passed an arm across her shoulders for a side-hug. "Thank you."

"I'm not feeling the love, ladies!" Seth barged in, his hair spiking up on different directions. Taking me by surprise, he grabbed my cup of coffee and took a sip.

"By all means, do take my coffee," I glared at him. He grinned a mega-watt smile while reaching for a cinnamon roll.

"They're still hot, you dumbass."

"I can handle hot, Jess. I'm a guy, we handle everything." I rolled my eyes before turning away to get another mug for my coffee. Less than a second later, Seth groaned because he had just scalded his tongue with the cinnamon roll. Serves him right.

"Today is the big day, huh?" June asked as we finally sat at the table, everyone with a nice bowl of fruit and a big-ass cinnamon roll on their plate.

My stomach sank. Pressing my lips together, I kept stirring my coffee without saying anything, feeling two pairs of eyes trained on me. "I haven't heard of him," I finally said, while I pinched my bread, avoiding them.

"But that surely means nothing, Jess! I'm sure Bryan will pick you up at six as he'd said he would." I gazed at my grandmother. I wish I had her optimism.

"You haven't heard anything from him?" My eyes cut to my little brother, who was pinching the bridge of his nose, trying not to show concern, but failing miserably.

"It's no big deal," I shrugged nonchalantly, taking a big chunk of my bread and bringing it to my mouth. "This is so good, Juno! Did you do something different this time?"

Juno peeked at me from the rim of her cup as she took a sip. "He will come tonight." I don't want to talk about it. "He will," she assured me once more.

A part of me wanted to burst into tears because I wished I was so confident as her. I'd gone through the denial phase and the hoping phase, but now I was at the depressing face-your-reality phase, in which you knew that it was hopeless to expect anything.

It was just not meant to be.

Not wanting to cross Juno, I nodded silently, before asking everyone about their dates. Seth had gone to the movies and I made fun of him for being such a geek and unoriginal, and I knew he wanted to ask me more about Bryan, but he didn't. I loved my little brother, he was the best. And Juno was more evasive, just telling us that she had dinner at Mr. Gomez and that it was nice. Seth and I shared a look but we both kept quiet. Something seemed fishy, that was for sure.

I tried to ignore Juno's words for the rest of the day. I forced myself to do a series of chores not to think about it. I rearranged my room, then the TV room (much to Seth's dismay), hell, I even played GTA with him and I have to admit that shooting randomly at brown-haired strangers was reassuring in a way. I even stayed in sweatpants and a loose t-shirt all day long because I didn't want to go through the whole wearing makeup and dressing nice just to be stood up.

The doorbell rang at six o'clock sharp. I was in the living room, trying to read Emma for the gazillionth time, and failing at it, since I'd read the first pages three times already, trying to concentrate.

My heart started to pound so hard inside my ribcage, that I felt like it was going to burst out. Swallowing hard, I left the book on the table and slowly, made my way to the door.

It can't be him. It can't be. He hasn't answered my calls or messages. He's not.

Exhaling slowly, I held on to the doorknob for a second before turning it to open the door.

Smartly dressed in black pants and a grey shirt, Bryan greeted me. "Hi Jess..."

I KNOW! I KNOW! I'M EVIL! (In my defense, it's been a long time since I did this) *Smirks evilly*