Luke's POV

Shortly after ending the call with Calum, I start working towards Delilah's house. I have four days to say goodbye, and I want to spend every last second with her. I need to tell her as soon as possible that I'm leaving.

I feel like I'm in a daze. I'm walking to Delilah's house, but my mind isn't fully connected. I'm just there. I'm going through the motions of walking and getting myself to Delilah's, but I'm paying no attention to anything. My mind is racing and hazy with confusion and frustration and sadness. It's how I used to feel all the time. I hate feeling this way, I haven't been like this in awhile. 

I frantically rub my eyes to get rid of all the tears, which is just making my face more red and blotchy. I have no idea how to tell her or how to even handle the conversation. I'm so nervous that she won't want a long distance relationship, or maybe after awhile we won't be able to deal with being apart. There's so many things that could ruin our relationship. Everything was going so well. Now I feel like my life is at a sudden halt.

I get to Delilah's house and quickly walk inside like I've done almost every day, but this time I'm trying to avoid the rest of her family. I quickly say hi to her mom without looking at her so she can't see how much I've been crying. I head into Delilah's room and stop at her doorway.

"Hey, how did it- Oh, no. What happened?" Delilah asks quietly, walking over to me and cupping my face with her hands. She instantly notices that something is wrong, like always.

I shake my head and close my eyes tightly, trying not to cry. "Not good."

She closes her bedroom door, and we sit on her bed. She reaches for my hands and rubs small circles on the top of my thumb to try to relax me. I stare at the seam in her blanket and chew on the inside of my cheek.

"I have to go," I whisper. I don't know what to say.

"What? Where?" she asks quietly. She sounds confused.

"I have to go back to Australia. I leave Tuesday," I mumble.

I still haven't looked at Delilah. I don't want to see the disappoint on her face.

Delilah drops my hands and hugs her legs close to her. 

"Please say something," I say almost inaudibly.

I finally look up at her. Her eyes are welling up with tears and her face is blank. She's nervously biting her nails, so I reach for her hand to bring it down.

Delilah opens her mouth to talk, and then shuts it again. She takes a deep breath and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"How long will you be gone?" she asks.

"I have no idea. Maybe a few months. Are you mad?"

She smiles a little, but not a genuine smile. I can tell she's unhappy. "Of course I'm not mad, it's not your fault. You can't control all of this. I understand."

She squeezes my hand lightly and wipes her eyes.

"What does this mean for us? Are you okay with a long distance relationship?" I ask nervously. I'm not sure I want to know her answer.

Delilah doesn't hesitate like I thought she would. "For you, I will do anything. Even if it means being across the world."

I feel better hearing her say that. I hug her tightly, and she leans her head on my shoulder.

"Does anyone else know?" she asks.

"Just you and Cal," I tell her, kissing the top of her head.

I happen to look up and see Delilah's door slightly open. Through the space, I can see a small shadow and hear faint sniffing.

"Uh, oh. Looks like Lucy does too, now," I whisper. I quickly wipe the few tears off my cheeks and hop off the bed.

I walk over to the door and slowly open it. Lucy looks up at me, with a few streams of tears down her cheeks, which are slightly pink.

"You're leaving us?" she asks me.

I crouch down to Lucy's height. She steps a little away from me, like she's mad at me. I reach for her hand, but she moves farther back. Seeing her so upset breaks my heart.

"Luce," I whisper, "Can we talk?"

She sniffs and shakes her head.

"Really? Because that'll make me really sad if we can't talk right now. I'm going to miss you a lot," I tell her, trying not to cry.

She takes a few small steps towards me. I open my arms, and she quickly runs into me, hugging me tightly.

"I don't want you to go," she says, her voice muffled by my chest.

"I won't be gone for too long, I promise. We can talk all the time, okay? It's like I never left. Then before you know it, I'll be back." 

I have no idea when I'll be back, or even if I will come back. I'm not sure about anything anymore. 

"How far away is Aw-stralia?" Lucy asks, having a tough time saying Australia.

"Really, really far."

Lucy frowns. "So we can't take a car to come see you?"

I shake my head. "It's all the way across the ocean."

"That's too far. Why are you leaving?" she asks, looking at me with wide eyes.

"To be with my mom," I answer hesitantly.

"Oh, does your mommy miss you? I know I would miss you."

"Yeah, she does," I say, my voice breaking a little. "I'll be with her a little, then when you miss me too much, I'll be back."

"Promise?" Lucy asks, looking up at me.

"Promise."

She puts out her little pinky and makes me pinky promise her. I bite my bottom lip nervously because I know she'll remember this. I'm afraid I'll break my promise. I slowly link my pinky with hers and flash my eyes over to Delilah, who is sitting silently on her bed.

"Can me and your sister be alone for a little? Are you and me all good now?" I ask Lucy.

Lucy nods. She has stopped crying, and is almost back to normal. It's amazing how quickly little kids' moods can change. I give Lucy a hug, and she goes back to her room. I hear her start talking to her mom about me leaving.

"Are you okay?" I ask Delilah, sitting next to her again.

She nods.

"It's okay if you're not. I'm not," I tell her quietly.

"I'm not either."

For the first time ever, I see Delilah completely breakdown. She drops her head into her hands and starts sobbing. Her shoulders shake as she cries. I wrap my arms around her to try to comfort her. It's always the opposite. Now I'm trying to console her while trying to not cry too. She seems so much smaller when she's hunched over crying.

"Oh my, God," I whisper over and over. I have no idea what to do. I'm not good at this.

I hug her close to me and rock back and forth slowly.

"We'll be fine, trust me," I whisper. "I'll come back. We can talk whenever. I don't care if you call me at two in the morning, I'll still be there."

She lifts her head up, and I wipe the tears off her cheeks. 

"I'm a mess," she says.

"It happens. Look at me, I had breakdowns, like, every week."

She smiles and leans her forehead against mine.

"I already miss you," she whispers.

I laugh quietly. "I haven't even left yet. You still have four days to deal with me."

I kiss her nose gently and neither of us say anything for a little. We both just sit beside each other, holding hands as I play with her fingers.

"This is why I'm sad," Delilah finally says. "We won't be able to do this. We'll be able to call and text and video chat, but you won't be here. It's not the same. We won't be able to hold hands or go on walks together or kiss or just do this."

"I know, but it's not permanent. Now, when we see each other after I leave, it'll be even more special."

"I guess," she says quietly.

"I know."

Delilah smiles and lies down on her bed. She props herself up on her elbow, and I lie beside her.

"So about your mom... What did your dad say?" Delilah asks. 

I explain to her everything that my dad told me. She nods a few times, but stays silent as I talk. She seems to be taking it in and thinking about it all. She looks serious and sad. Her eyes are puffy and her mascara has run a little. Both of us are a wreck. 

"From what it sounds like, everything should work out," Delilah says when I'm done. "You just need to find the positives in this whole situation, I guess. Not focus on the negatives."

"I guess so. I'll try."

"So one positive is that you'll be in Australia again," she whispers.

I shrug. "I'd rather be here."

"I'm trying to help."

"Well, I'm not gonna lie."

"What if you meet an amazing Australian girl?" she asks.

"Being Australian isn't anything special for me," I tell her, "American is."

She smiles and rests her head on her pillow. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. I watch her chest rise and fall as she breathes, seeming more relaxed than she was before. She reaches over and twirls her fingers through my hair.

"It's gonna be weird not being able to walk down the street to your house whenever I wanna see you," I tell her.

"I'll be a call away."

Delilah is trying not to be sad around me now, I can tell. But her eyes aren't as bright and full of energy like they usually are. Her voice isn't as excited, and she's talking quietly. I know once I leave she's going to start crying again, I can see the tears forming in her eyes. She blinks continuously to stop the tears from falling.

"Del, it's okay if you need to cry. I would be crying too, but I'm too cried out," I tell her, pulling her closer to me.

As soon as I say that, Delilah starts crying again instantly. I can feel her heart start racing. She's taking short, quick breaths. I didn't think it would upset her this much. I didn't realize I meant this much to her. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to leave her, and she wouldn't be sobbing right now. But the world isn't perfect.

We stay like that for almost an hour, with Delilah in and out of crying. Just when I think she's calmed down, she starts right back up again. It's like all the strings inside her broke and she can't control herself anymore. I've never seen her this upset about anything. Neither of us say anything, we just hold onto each other. There's nothing either of us can say to each other to make any of this better, no matter how hard we try. This is something that we have to deal with, and we can't change anything.

"I hate this. This sucks," Delilah whispers, being the first one to finally say something again.

"I know. But even though I'm leaving, I won't be gone."

GUYSSSS I SAW 5SOS THE PAST 2 FRIDAYS. YESTERDAY I HAD THIRD ROW AND THEY SAW MY SIGN THAT HAD MY MOMS ASHTON SELFIE THAT SAID "YOU MET MY MOM WITHOUT ME" AND MICHAEL ALMOST PICKED ME FOR REJECTS. I WAS ON THE BIG SCREEN. LUKE SAID IT WAS MESSED UP AND MICHAEL LAUGHED SO LOUD. I WAS PANICKING. ALSO I MET A BUNCH OF YOU GUYS, YOU'RE ALL SO CUTE AND NICE. I'LL BE AT ROWYSO CT ON SATURDAY IF ANY OF YOU WILL BE THERE! :) 

SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN 2 WEEKS I WAS IN NY AND NOW SCHOOL IS STARTING IN 2 DAYS. I LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOU LIKED THIS.

TWEET ME AT SINGSONGASH WHAT YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN WITH LULILAH :)

also the winner of the hashtag contest is coolcatrice with #NotSpokenButHeard so use that hashtag on twitter whenever you talk about rtf/taking chances :) i'll occasionally stalk the hashtag and maybe follow some of you ;)

-ashley