Luke's POV

After we visit my mom, Calum drives us home. My old home? My home home? I don't even know what to call it. Australia is my home, but Maine is too now.

My grandparents are talking like I've been gone for years, but it's really only been about five months. Some of the things they're telling me I was actually here for, but I pretend I wasn't and act like their stories are totally new to me. 

Before we go home, we all decide to go get some lunch since we're all starving. We stop at a pizza place, the same place Calum brought me before I left for Maine.

"Remember the last time we were here?" I ask Calum as we walk in.

He raises his eyebrows.

"It was before I left," I tell him.

"Oh, right! You were in a bad mood that day. Worse than usual."

I laugh.

"This place is still here?" my dad says. "I thought for sure it wouldn't."

"Dad, it's only been, like, three years. It's hasn't been that long," I say, laughing.

He smiles and shakes his head.

When we walk in, I immediately recognize some people I went to school with. I haven't talked to them in forever, I doubt they even recognize me. I try to avoid them so I don't have to deal with any awkwardness.

My grandparents and dad find us all a table while Calum and I order. We just get one large pizza for all of us.

As we're waiting for the pizza, Calum and I lean against the counter and just talk. One of the people I recognized from school start walking over to us. I really hope she's just grabbing some extra napkins and not coming to talk to us. Her name is Alice and I've only spoken to her a few times.

"Luke?" Alice asks. She puts her hand on my arm, like we're friends or something, and looks at me with wide eyes.

"Hey..." I say awkwardly.

"You're talking! I can't believe it!" she exclaims, smiling widely.

Oh, right. People here only remember me as the guy who didn't speak. I kinda forgot about that since I'm so used to talking again.

"Yeah," I say, awkwardly laughing and rubbing my neck.

"How have you been? When did you come back?" she asks.

"Uh, I'm good, I guess. I just got back, like, two hours ago."

"Where even did you go? I heard you've been in an institution or something."

I cough and look at Calum with wide eyes. I wonder where that rumor came from and how many more false things people have said about me.

"No one calls them institutions anymore," I tell her. "But no, I was in America with my dad for a few months."

"Oh. What made you go to America?"

I'm not really sure how to respond to that. 

I had really bad depression and anxiety if you didn't know. 

"Just, ya know, reasons," I tell her.

She nods. "Oh, cool! Well, it was nice seeing you! Bye guys!"

I wave awkwardly as she leaves. Alice turns around quickly and heads back to her friends. They all start talking and turn to stare at me, so obviously they're talking about me.

"That was strange," Calum says.

I nod. "Really strange. It'll probably be happening a lot. I didn't think anyone even realized I was gone."

I didn't expect anyone to be considered or even wonder where I was. I thought they would just assume I wasn't getting out of the house or going anywhere. I didn't think people would notice my absence. People that I barely even know, for that matter.

Our pizza comes out shortly after Alice leaves. Thankfully, no one else that I know is here so I don't have to deal with more awkward conversations. 

Once we're done eating, we continue back to my house. I thought I would remember everything, but surprisingly I don't. Some streets and shops look unfamiliar and I realize I actually did forget some things. A lot of things can change in a few months. It definitely doesn't feel like I never left. I feel like a stranger that doesn't know where anything is. It's like how it was when I moved to Maine.

I do recognize one street instantly when we drive down it.

"Oh my God," I mumble, shutting my eyes tightly.

My dad looks at me suspiciously. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine," I tell him.

"Luke, I didn't realize, I'm sorry. I can turn around-" Calum starts to say.

"No, no. It's okay. I can't avoid it forever."

I take a deep breath and look out the window.

It's the street of Delia's accident.

The white fence along the side of the road is finally fixed. The last time I had been here, it was still broken and bent. There's no more tire marks on the road either. It's almost as if nothing ever happened, like there was never a deadly crash. 

I know there is going to be a lot of things that remind me of Delia, a lot more than in Maine. I can't drown in the memories though, I'm going to have to stay afloat amongst them. I will not let myself sink back to what I was. I was at the lowest point of my life when I left here and now I'm finally okay with everything. I am determined to not let things get back to how they were.

I'm able to get home without any panic attacks or terrible flashbacks. I used to hate even leaving the house because I would almost always get a flashback of Delia. It was pretty much guaranteed that wherever I would go, I would be reminded of Delia constantly. Now it happens with less frequency.

Calum parks the car in the driveway. I notice my mom's car and my grandparents car in the driveway too. It's strange looking at the gray house with flowers out front and green grass on the lawn. I'm so used to going home to a blue house with frozen grass and remnants of snow piles on the ground. Delilah isn't a few houses down the street; she's halfway across the world. Everything is different again. I feel like a moving to a whole new place, but I'm really just returning.

"Remember where everything is?" Calum asks, turning to me.

I smile and nod. "I think so."

My dad looks at the house intently. "Not much has changed the past few years, huh?"

The house is exactly how it was when I left, or at least from the outside it is. 

I hesitantly step out of the car and get my bags out of the back. Calum unlocks the front door and waits for me before going inside. My dad follows me, and he's looking around at everything outside. I take a step inside the house and slowly look around.

"I'm gonna get going, okay? If you need anything, just call," Calum says.

"Okay, thanks for all this. I'll talk to you later."

"Your mom said everything should be basically the same. You might need to go food shopping or something though. The house keys and car keys are on the table. I think that's it," Calum tells me. He waves and leaves.

When I left, Calum was my best friend. Now I'm starting to feel like he's more of a brother or something. He's been helping out my mom and seems to know more than I do. 

"We're going to get going too," my grandma tells me. She gives me another tight hug. "It's so nice to have you back," she says happily. "It's amazing to hear your voice again too!" 

I smile. She's told me that at least ten times already.

My grandpa gives me another hug too before they leave. His eyes are somewhat glassy, but he's smiling kindly. He looks like he's proud of me.

Once they leave, my dad turns to me. Neither of us have moved from the living room. We're both still holding out bags, unsure of what to do.

"What should we do?" my dad asks me.

"I dunno. It's weird being back," I tell him.

"It's even weirder having warm weather and being surrounded by other Australians," my dad says, trying to lighten the mood. 

I laugh a little. "I'm gonna go put my stuff in my room." I head down the hall and my dad follows.

"I guess I'm staying in the guest room, right?" my dad asks. "That's here?" he questions, pointing to one of the rooms.

I smile at the fact that he's forgotten. "No, it's this one," I tell him, pointing to the room directly across from him. "That's the bathroom."

"Oh, right."

I slowly open the door to my bedroom and look inside. It's exactly how I left it. The shelves are basically empty, aside from a few things that weren't necessary to bring to Maine. A photo of Delia, Calum, and I is still here too, with some dust on it now. There's a pair of old sneakers on the floor at the edge of my bed. It seems as if my room hasn't seen the light of day in weeks, so I pull the curtains up and open a window.

I sit on my bed, which has been made up very nicely. It's one o'clock right now, which means it's ten o'clock at night in Maine. I pull out my phone and call Delilah, hoping she's still awake.

She picks up after a few rings.

"Hey," I whisper.

"Hi. How is everything?" she asks, sounding nervous.

"I... I'm not really sure, actually." I scratch the back of my neck and lie down. "I saw my mom. It's obvious she's sick. She didn't seem terrible though, but she wasn't good by any means."

I think of my mom lying in the hospital bed, so weak and tired. All the machines and wires that surrounded her, like they were almost taking over her body. I sigh and close my eyes.

"I'm sure she was happy to see you!" Delilah says.

"Yeah, she was. It's just really weird, you know? Like, I left and I was the problem. Now I'm back and she's the one having problems. It's like the roles are flipped. And Calum's suddenly turned into, like, some caretaker for my mom. Nothing is the same."

"That's good though that Calum's there to help! Most guys wouldn't do that."

"Yeah... There's no snow over here," I tell her. I look out my window to see the sun shining brightly.

She laughs. "Lucky you."

"There's also no you over here."

"Unlucky you and me," she says quietly. 

I tell her about the awkward encounter with Alice at the pizza place. She laughs when I finish telling her.

After a few minutes, Delilah takes a deep breath. 

"What's wrong?" I ask. I can tell she's upset about something.

"Nothing. I just miss you already."

I can imagine her in her room, probably lying in bed like I am. She's a day behind me now though. It's like we're in totally different worlds. She's 15 hours behind, not two minutes away anymore. There's a huge gap between us. I wish I could just fold the world like a map and have her right next to me. I think I'm all cried out, because I feel like crying, but nothing is happening. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted from today.

"I know. But I'll see you soon, don't worry."

"Not soon enough."

"Oh, I meant to tell you, I forgot something in your room, I think."

"What was it? I haven't seen anything of yours." I hear her get up and start to walk around. I smile.

"Just let me know when you find it."

"Find what? How am I supposed to let you know if I don't know what I'm looking for?"

"You'll know when you see it. I gotta go. Call me when you find it!"

"Luke-"

"Love you! Bye!"

sorry for not updating in awhile! I had three weeks to edit all of RTF so I was working on that nonstop! I hope you understand!! don't forget to preorder RTF on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iTunes, and CBD.com. it's now available in some international Amazons, so check and see if you can get it now!

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LOVE YOU!!!

-ashley