The last time I had sex was two years ago before my boyfriend of five years cheated on me and subsequently dumped me.

"It's not you, it's me," he'd said. "No, it's us. I feel...I feel like we've drifted apart. Like we're just friends, who occasionally fuck each other. I know that you feel that way too. I see how you look at other guys; especially the pornstars you secretly drool over. It just goes to show that you're longing for more." He had the nerve to touch my face. "I think it's best we spend some time apart. Get some space. Recollect our thoughts and figure out where we stand."

I watched him stuff box after box in the trunk of his washed down Mercedes and drove away with all that we'd invested in each other, including the patterned boardshorts I'd bought him the month before, without a word. Because time was bound to pass by quickly and then we'd know what step to take next, I had thought at the time. But, when three months led to four, I figured that that time apart was most likely indefinite.

That slimy motherfucker.

And when two years came faster than the precum of a giddy teenage boy, it dawned on me that I needed to get back on the horse. Literally. Preferably a big one with a shiny, healthy coat, that had enough energy for me to ride it all night.

My back arched involuntarily and a bored moan escaped my lips as Sean's breath fanned my thighs. At the sound, he raised his head from between my parted legs and smirked.

Oh, don't flatter yourself, honey. You're not that special.

Sean Saunders: tall, macho, cocky and overall Grade A asshole to the guys, and, if push came to shove, some women, at the company who he didn't like. Or maybe he was just like that to people in general? I didn't know him long enough to concretize that theory.

Then how I ended up butt-naked and perched on the edge of Sean's king-sized bed, with him eating me out like his life depended on it, you'd probably want to know, right?

Well let me just say, on a fleeting impulse of insanity, I'd finally agreed to go out to dinner with him, and, on an even more daring impulse, decided to join him for a nightcap at his apartment.

He'd kept flirting non-stop for the few weeks I'd been interning at the company, and then earlier tonight, after three glasses of wine and a medley of Every time it rains and Fuck me hard G. I. Joe, stuck on repeat, he asked if I wanted to have mind-blowing sex. At first, his cockiness sort of rubbed me the wrong way, but after another glass, I thought, 'hey why not? What better way to get him off of my back while at the same time quenching my sexual thirst?' Perfect example of killing two birds with one stone. Don't get me wrong though, I love animals. And nature. And vanilla ice cream cones with sprinkles. And porn, chocolate, a good book, and—

Anyway...

Sorry about that. I tend to trail off at the most crucial times, which is rather annoying if I do say so myself. So, as I was saying... wait, what was I saying again?

Oh yeah, fucking Sean. Right. I have to admit, with a body like that the guy was right in being so darn self-centered. I mean, when he first pulled off his shirt, I was like, 'Damn, I'm in for a wild night tonight. With a body like that he's bound to be packing. Large.' But after seven minutes with him between my legs, I realized my predictions were fucking wrong. The only thing wild about the night would probably be my hair, due to me constantly pulling at it, out of frustration.

The guy lacked coordination and kept fumbling at the beginning, which, to be honest, caused me to momentarily worry that he'd bite off my goddamned clit.

Thank God he hadn't. Yet.

Sean's grip on my thighs tightened as he pulled me closer to his face. I felt him nibble at my protruding flesh, and couldn't resist the moan which escaped my lips. A real one at that time. The first genuine sound I'd produced since the beginning of the night. That was new. And unexpected. My back arched once more and my grip tightened on the messy, gray sheet as he pushed a finger through my opening while he continued to scrape my clit with his teeth. Since he didn't have any hair for me to hold on to, the sheets would have to pay the consequences.

I felt the knot in my stomach swell and knew that if he continued I would no doubt explode.

Where the hell did he learn to do that? Was he holding out on me all along?

My body twisted and his grip tightened once again, holding me in place. "Yes! Oh, yea. Oh my God...!"

His groans complemented my soft moans.

I was near my peak. Surprisingly quick. I could feel it. It was almost—

The cold air nipped at my exposed flesh; which was sans Sean's face, and left bare for the wind to take a peek. My legs buckled and my eyes opened as I felt him trail wet kisses up my navel to my breasts. After a small peck on my parted lips, he rolled off of me and sprawled out on his back, his eyes focused on the ceiling and a Cheshire grin on his lips.

What the actual fuck? Is he done? Surely he's just resting.

He glanced over at me as I propped myself up against the bedhead and pulled the sheet closer to my body. He smiled and tweaked my bare nipple before folding his arms behind his head. "Wow! That was amazing! Wasn't it amazing?"

I looked straight ahead. "Definitely."

"You were great. Best tongue action I've had in a long time."

I forced a smile. "Wow. That's something."

He grinned as if he were proud. "I know."

A curt nod on my part would suffice. 

Between my legs still ached and my nipples were so stiff they hurt. I turned my head to the right and glanced at his penis which was almost fully erected, then back at his face. "So, are you like resting for the big breakthrough or something?"

He actually looked confused.  "What're you talking about?"

"Um, I don't know...actual penetration?"

A throaty laugh surrounded the room and I quirked a brow.  "Oh, sweetheart, I don't normally go all the way on the first date," he quipped. "I prefer to get to know the lucky girl first."

Hold up. Hold the mother fucking phone! Is he seriously telling me that I got all worked up, sweaty and bothered for nothing? I wore my sexiest panty tonight— which is on the floor in a careless pool of fabric along with my dress, but that's beside the point. The point is, I want to get boned.

"How gentlemanly," I deadpanned.

He grinned his signature grin and puffed his chest. "Thanks."

My mind went places and beyond as I sat there in the dim lighting. Sean hadn't said anything else and I sure as hell wasn't a groveller.

My fantasy man was almost ready to go all in...when I heard it.

That sound.

That very hard to miss sound.

Moaning.

There were probably two things a person wouldn't like hearing in the middle of the night while laying in bed stark naked. One: your neighbors getting it on, and two: your neighbors getting it on while you were in a mood where you wouldn't mind getting it on, yourself.

I wanted so badly to knock on the wall and demand for them to shut the fuck up. They were like animals over there, and courtesy of the drywall which separated us, I could hear every minute of it—down to the sound of the woman's nails scratching the headboard.

Damn you drywall. Damn you to hell.

An unexpected sound echoed throughout the room causing me to jump up, hitting my head on the headboard. "Fuck!"

I looked over to see Sean fast asleep beside me. It took me a few seconds well to realize that the assaulting noise was actually...him snoring. Snoring! I hate snorers. With an unexplainable passion.

I picked up one of the pillows and momentarily thought about using it to strangle his face. I went as far as positioning myself over him—hands, with pillow, outstretched and trembling —but then I put it down with a thump and a frustrated sigh. There were probably two things I recognized, as of two minutes ago, that I couldn't rock. One: a disgustingly baggy, orange jumpsuit, and two: being locked inside a cell with a, presumably, lesbian cellmate named Rhonda. Not when the desire to appease my flaring libido was so...there.

Sean rolled over onto his belly and draped a hand over my torso. I pushed it off.

I can't do this. I should go.

With the stealth of a thief, I scrambled around the room, picking up my belongings. As I struggled to get my foot through the hole of my jeans, while balancing on the next, my eyes located the clock perched on the wall over the dresser...thirty minutes past midnight.

Pants successfully up and buttoned, I managed to get one hand through the armhole of my blouse, place my phone in my clutch and get one heel on. All in one go.

I think I should've been a cheerleader, back in high school.

When I finally looked like someone's daughter, I quickly scribbled a note and placed it on his nightstand.

A shaky sigh escaped my lips as I closed the door behind me and made my way to the elevator.

I knew he would probably flip in the morning when he realized I wasn't there, but oh well...morning breath was not a luxury to share with strangers.