---- [W -> D] ----

D: You know, I love how sometimes Dan Howell is like
D: "It's so important to know you should be happy and proud of who you are."
D: And then other times it's just
D: "Holy mother of rectangles."

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D: Things that rhyme with crying:
D: Dying
D: Lying
D: Trying
D: My Chemical Romance
D: Spying
D: Buying

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W: What if the washer is the one losing our socks, and we've been blaming the dryer all these years

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D: I literally cannot even, I can't even, I am unable to even, I have lost my ability to even, I am so unable to even

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W: When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become the vacuum cleaner

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D: "See you in hell Dick" written in blood on my wall?
D: The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma

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W: YoU mAkE oNe MiStAke

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D: I'm holding you back from achieving things in your life by forcing you to sit here and watch this

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W: The city is literally on fire, where are you?
D: Making smores

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D: How would you kill me if you could?
W: I don't know. Push you down a Grand Staircase?
D: No, seriously.
W: Fine then, how would you kill me?
D: I'd paralyze you with saxitoxin and suffocate you in your sleep, chop you into the smallest bits I could manage, boil you down, put you in a blender, then take you to the kitchen in a flask and pour you into some of Alfred's soup.

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W: You got the chips?
D: No, but I got Cheese-Wiz

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D: PUMP THE BREAKS, PRINCEY

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W: HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!
D: *X-Files theme plays*

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D: Ah gravity, thou art a heartless bitch

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R: So, it's a show?
W: It's a religion
D: It's a lifestyle

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D: Saying wake up, you need to make mEMES

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W: WE GOT BAGLES WHOO

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D: Jason keeps looking at Tim when he's not looking, and Tim keeps looking at Jason when he's not looking, and I can't tell if they're planning to confess to or kill the other

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W: I hate you!
D: I hate me more!

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D: My phone's dying and I'm sort of jealous

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W: Ohh that man
W: Ohh that man
W: Uagh and his hair

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D: When sustain pedal is broken, but you still has a good piano

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W: What the fuck
W: Here's the problem, you obviously have perfect lips
W: Which is totally fine, if the rest of you is a little fucked up
W: But the rest of you isn't fucked up, is it Dick? The rest of you is also perfect
W: That's not fair
W: Look at those eyes, perfect fucking eyes
W: My heart melts when I look at them
W: Like, are you kidding? Are you- is this a joke? Are you photoshopped?

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D: I love this album more than I love myself

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W: Why would she sell sea shells by a sea shore when you can just pick them off of the ground for free, that's not how you run a business
D: She's sold sea shells by the seashore since shapely seashore seashells stay scarce. Since she sells superior shells searchers spend centuries searching for, seldom selling simple shells, so she still sustains solid savings.
W: I couldn't even read that in my head

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D: So, it was my first night as a drug dealer last night
D: And I messed up
W: Messed up how?
D: I got my first order for some coke and since I don't have coke I may have said: "We don't have coke, is Pepsi okay?"
W: Oh my you
D: I got stabbed.

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W: Studying is killing me.
D: Good. Die.

----

D: Wanna go chuck cans of Diet Coke at oncoming cars with me?
W: Give me thirty seconds

----

W: So, how did you convince the whole team to betray me? What did you offer them?
D: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they all said yes.

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D: Follow me so we only leave one set of footprints.
W: That's a perfect plan, but I'm not going to do that.
D: You're not taking this seriously enough.
W: Stealing ice cream from your dad's freezer? No, I'm not.
D: I know where Jason hides the marshmallow topping.
W: Right behind you.
D: Also, he's not my dad.
W: It's too late for denial.

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W: Would you give it a rest already?!
D: Absolutely not
D: I will not rest until I've converted you to a full-blooded emo

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D: Getting murdered in the woods wouldn't even be my least favourite thing about camping.

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W: You got any milk?
D: No, but I got Cheese-Wiz
W: CAN STOP REPLYING TO EVERYTHING WITH THAT!?
D: ...
W: ...
D: No
D: But I got Cheese-Wiz

----

D: Don't joke about death. I died once and it offends me.

---- [The Three Muskequeers] ----

R: Shit, you brats set the cave on fire. R: What do we do now?!
W: Alert a member of the Justice League, it'll look less suspicious and even if they think we did it, we'll get in less trouble.
D: Set the entire cave on fire to cover our tracks.
R: ...Dick, I love where your head is at, but we're going with Wally on this one.

---- [W -> D] ----

W: Dick, we need to have a serious talk, which is impossible while you're wearing a mesh tank top.

----

D: Are you having trouble drawing straight?
D: I'm having trouble being straight

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W: These candies sucked.
D: But you ate all of them...
W: I had to make sure they all sucked.

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D: This is the most Tumbler thing I have ever heard.

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W: Your future self is talking shit about you
D: I'm talking shit about me too, he ain't special

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D: Pitterpatter lets getatter

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W: Well, I'm going to file that away for future fucking reference

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D: Sweetheart, you couldn't ignore me if you tried

----

W: Holy shit
D: What?
W: What do you mean 'what'?
W: You dyed your fucking hair blue

----