---- [W -> D] ----

W: One time in math class my teacher was really pissed at us and he was yelling "DO YOU EVEN KNOW BASIC MATH? DO YOU KNOW ADDITION? WHATS TWO PLUS TWO? CORY, WHATS TWO PLUS TWO?" And poor Cory wasn't paying attention so I leaned over and whispered "seven" and he blurted out "SEVEN" and I've never laughed so hard in my life

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D: Wally, Conner is strong, right?
W: Well duh
D: In that case, how far do you think he could yeet me?

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W: A few days ago Hartley told me that when he played shooter games he would respond to dudes getting angry, aggressive, and hostile by saying "a kissaroo from me to you" in a slightly goofy friendly voice. He said they would absolutely lose their shit every time, insisting things like "I don't want a kissaroo from you! Only tall blonde girls!" They always said kissaroo. I can't stop thinking about this.

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D: Aren't you sugar and spice and everything nice?
W: Well aren't you rudeness, and sarcasm and everything... Oh
D: No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense and I'll leave right now
W: ...
R: Well aren't you rudeness, sarcasm, and lacking enthusiasm

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W: i'm nto as thnik as yuo drukn i am

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D: Don't say a word
W: Fergalicious
D: I said no words!
W: Oh, I see how it works. Two weeks ago when we were playing Scrabble it's not a word, now suddenly it's a word because its convenient for you

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W: How do I kill myself without dying?
D: Join a fandom

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D: Okay guys, there's a truck coming
D: Everyone take a step back
D: Except you Wally, you can take a step forwards

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W: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

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D: Okay, so today in Chemistry this kid named Roman was walking across the room to get something and he tripped, and this other guy immediately shouted "THE EMPIRE HAS FALLEN" and I cried

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W: Don't quote Baudelaire then walk away from me.

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D: I'm going for a walk.
W: With your sword?

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W: Yesterday I yote my water bottle down the hall and hit the principal

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D: So, um, I knocked a glass off a table, and it landed upside down-
D: But the water is still in it and I don't think I've moved in the past two hours I've just been staring at this fucking glass
D: I don't think I'll see this happen again in my lifetime

---- [The Three Muskequeers] ----

W: Rules to learning English:
W: 1. Their our know rules
D: Eye sea what yew did they're
R: My eyes are burning
W: Know, know, know. It's eye sea watt yew did they're, knot 'what'. Due it write.
D: Eye wood due it write butt eye due knot want two

---- [W -> D] ----

D: Green is not a creative colour

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W: Adam

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D: I've only had Marc for a day and a half but if anything happened to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

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W: Stop!
W: You are doing me a frighten

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D: What do you call a pansexual man named Nick who works at a CD store?
W: What?
D: Pan nick at the disc co
W: I can't breath

---- [The Three Muskequeers] ----

R: Back in my day, we ended sentences with periods, not emojis, you fucking heathens.

---- [W -> D] ----

W: What a hootin tootin disaster.

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D: Is this Kidz Bop Despacito?!

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W: Change your shirt, bro
D: BRAH
D: First of all, I look good in this shirt
D: And second of all, I look good in this shirt
D: And third of all, I look good in this shirt

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D: ＢＥ ＧＯＮＥ ＴＨＯＴ ！

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W: If poison goes past its expiration date, is it more toxic or less toxic?
D: Well, I mean, we could test it

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D: If 666 is evil, then 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil

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W: What's the tallest building in Gotham?
D: THE LIBRARY BECAUSE IT HAS THE MOST STORIES

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D: "Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning" is the equivalent of "turn it off and on again" in the human world
W: ... Go... to bed?

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W: They're here
D: You think its a trap?
W: Definitely
D: You wanna go spring it?
W: Absolutely

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D: i before e except after c and when sounding like a as in neighbor and weigh and on weekends and holidays and all throughout may and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say

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W: I'm making pizza sticks and taking a nap, wake me up in five minutes
D: Wally your sticks
W: Zzzzzzzz
D: WALLY YOUR STICKS

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D: lesbians? great
D: bi girls? amazing
D: pan girls? stellar
D: trans girls? awesome
D: hotel? trivago

---- [The Three Muskequeers] ----

W: Can you stop talking about me? Wally this, Wally that. You won't even remember my last name in ten years
D: That's because in 10 years you'll have my last name
R: Clink clink bitch I call dibs on the first toast

---- [W -> D] ----

D: Well, it's time to move onto Plan 2.
W: Plan B, you mean?
D: That would insinuate I have only 26 plans.

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W: Technically, our phones are always set to vibrate, since sound is just vibrations travelling through the air

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D: I will have you know I had a three-hour training session this morning, which makes me hungry when I am hungry, I get angry, some may call this "hangry" make me a fucking sandwich

---- [The Three Muskequeers] ----

W: You guys aren't really going to race to the death, are you?
R: Of course we are, that's how they do it Australia
D: And prison

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