---- [W -> D] ----

W: Dude I can't believe you won prom king
D: Really? I'm not surprised
W: You don't even go to my school!

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D: Don't listen to her dude
D: You're not a joke
W: Yeah, thanks
D: Jokes are funny

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D: I'm not getting out of bed today
W: Not happening! Come on! Up up up!
W: It's garbage can, not garbage cannot!

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W: Can you take out the carnage?
D: So you've finally crossed over to the darkside? I've been waiting for this day for a long time, now we can betray the heroes and eliminate all other obstacles. World domination is just a hop skip and a jump away!
W: Dude
W: I meant garbage
W: Can you take you the garbage out
D: Oh...
D: Good thing I was just joking then
D: Heh

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D: Why are your lips covered in smeared lipstick?
W: I could ask you the same thing

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W: I just poured milk into a house plant
W: Sometimes I think I'm an idiot
D: Oh, I do that all the time
W: Pour milk in house plants?
D: No, think your an idiot

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D: 3 or 4 ripe bananas, smashed
D: 1/3 cup melted butter
D: 1 cup sugar
D: 1 egg, beaten
D: 1 teaspoon vanilla
D: 1 teaspoon baking soda
D: A pinch of salt
D: 1 & 1/2 cups of all purpose flour
W: What is this a recipe for?
W: Why did you wake me up for this
D: Shut the fuck up
W: Okay, goodnight
D: It's banana bread

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W: ...
W: Dude...
D: Yes, my dearest most darling dear?
W: Are you... drunk?

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D: I'm dying
W: What?
D: I've been diagnosed with Synchronous Diaphragmatic Flutter
W: Seriously dude?
W: Why you gotta scare me like that?

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W: Should I get pizza?

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W: My arms been chopped off by a psychopath
D: Okay I'm sorry I'll save you
W: I already bled out
W: That's what happens when you take 30 minutes to reply to texts
W: People die

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D: I can't believe NASA is recording billions of SMS
W: Must be a hoax, they can't have gone so far
D: Are you so naive? FUCK NASIA
N: Heard you
W: What's this?
D: Bastards

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D: It's the inside that matters
W: Oh really? Give me an example
D: Refrigerator
W: Good point

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D: In a meeting
D: In a meeting
D: In a meeting
D: In a meeting
D: In a meeting
D: In a meeting
D: In a meeting
D: In a meeting
D: In a meeting
W: Are you in a meeting?
D: No, why?

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W: Why aren't you answering
D: Sorry, lost my phone
D: I'll text you when I find it
W: Okay

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D: We should invest in an army of llamas
W: I'm listening
D: 1) They spit at people
D: 2) We can ride them
D: 3) Their soft and we can put hats on them
W: I'm sold

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D: I wasn't able to make reservations at the library
D: Yeah, they're....
W: Don't say it
D: Completely booked
W: You had to say it

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W: I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!
D: And I'm trying subtlety to avoid it!

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W: This is my life now
W: I have climbed this hill and now I will die on it
D: Shut up, we've only been hiking for 20 minutes

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D: Right now I don't know if I want to kiss you or push you off a bridge
W: Can I pick?

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W: So, what's our exit strategy?
D: Our what?
W: Oh my god, we're all going to die

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D: Never trust a survivor until you find out what they did to survive
W: What are you watching?!

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W: I hate you
D: Why? I'm lovely

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W: What now?
D: I don't know, I thought the jump would kill us

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D: Did you just...
D: Agree with me?
W: Yes! And I wish I could take it back!
D: Nope! You said it! No take-backs!

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W: Damn it, Why aren't you obeying the laws of physics?!

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W: Take my hand,
D: Why?
W: I'm trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!

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D: Gravity is such a bitch
W: What did you do?
D: Me?! Gravity started it!

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D: Why are your hands purple?
W: That is a very good question

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W: How do we keep getting into these situations?
D: Four years of friendship and I still don't know

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D: it's a long story...
W: You conned me into thinking you we're dead for eleven weeks
W: I have time

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W: Why are you glaring at me?
D: I'm hoping you'll spontaneously combust

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D: Why do people keep trying to put a blanket on me?
W: Because you're in shock
D: That doesn't mean I need a fucking blanket!

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W: Do you think we can do this?
D: It'll take a miracle, and even then- probably not

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D: I feel like I'm drowning in a bottle of wine
W: There are worse things to drown in

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D: You have such comfy clothes

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D: Give me one good reason I should wear a dress
W: I think we'll leave that up to them
W: And you know they'll come up with more than one

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W: Started my day getting attack by balloons at the super market
W: Things got worse from there

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D: You don't get to pin this brake-in on me!
W: But you're the one who broke in!

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W: Why did you put fireworks next to the bomb?
D: I wanted it to be pretty
W: It was supposed to be subtle!

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W: Who's Renegade?
D: Not a clue

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W: Did you hack my toster?
D: I will not confirm nor deny that statement

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D: The following statement is true
D: The previous statement is false
W: It's 4am but I'm not opposed to killing you

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W: Since when can you cook?
D: Since I met you

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