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✱

THE RIDE HOME was not as bad as it could've been.

Mainly because I practiced some restraint and didn't open any of the cans of worms that I could have like the fact that he really offered me up as a sacrifice to the party gods at lunch today or to instill another reminder that no one was to know about our little tryst unless he wanted to be buried six feet under. Call me crazy for caring so much about keeping such a thing secret with a guy leagues out of my own, but it was nobody's business but our own and I wanted to keep it that way. I definitely didn't want to deal with people's judgements or things they would say about how he downgraded from Liza who was way more pretty than I was.

And thankfully, Carter didn't make it so I had to. Sure, when a lewd pop song would play on the radio, he would sing along to it just to make me uncomfortable. But that was just him being an idiot and I knew better to entertain it just like he knew better than to cross too many lines for just some girl. He never had to try so hard, except for with me, maybe.

We made it to the elevator in comfortable silence except to say a greeting to the doorman and the ride to the eighth floor was probably the most at peace I had felt with Carter in the history of ever. We were both on our way home to put this nightmare of a day behind us. Of course, both our parents were going to rip us a new one and then we would have to repeat all the same struggles of the day tomorrow.

Carter didn't seem to be fazed, his lips curled into a smile as he watched the floor numbers on the elevator display progressed, which came as no surprise to me since he was constantly in trouble. He lived too large, in a way where he couldn't please everyone and still get everything he wanted, so his parents had to suffer a bit of him every now and then. I wondered what it was like in his household when Carter wasn't being the Carter I knew, when there wasn't some party going on across the hall and he was just sitting alone in his bedroom with his thoughts. What did a boy like him think about?

"Relax," he said without looking at me. "It's like I can feel how nervous you are, Mia. You're not going to military school, not yet."

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't really thinking about that, actually, I was thinking about him. I didn't want to say I was concerned about how badly his parents were going to chew him out, but I was definitely curious. If anyone was worried about going to military school, it should've been him. Who knew? Maybe he was.

"So after how many offenses should I start to pack my bag and shave my hair?" I asked, trying to match his humor. "What would it take?"

"I don't know for sure," he said, finally turning to me with a shit-eating grin, his face creased with humor and I couldn't help but notice - again - that he was extremely, undeniably attractive. I hated being emotionally all over the place. "But I'm eager to find out."

The elevator finally opened, but on the sixth floor and a middle-aged lady I didn't recognize stepped on. Then again, I didn't know most of the people on our floor, it would've been a shock to know people above and below it.

She nestled herself in between Carter and I, causing us to scoot an inch or so apart from each other. I welcomed the distance, I honestly did. Anything to keep him from trying to hijack my brain the way he was.

The eighth floor rung and the doors slid open again, so Carter and I stepped out into the hallway. The same hallway where I stood outside Carter's door, hoping he could let me into his party. Careful what you wish for, I guess.

It had been a long day, considering it had started here and now we were back. First we were wondering if we would make it to our first class on time, now we were wondering if our parents would spare our lives.

I turned to find Carter already watching me, that idiot look still on his face, but I knew he meant well.

"Good luck," I said with a nod towards him.

"I know you'll be fine, babe."

✱

I WAS OBLITERATED.

My mom was absolutely terrified for my safety and my dad thankfully was able to wind her down and get her to check my location last night - not to mention stop her from barging in on the party because I'm pretty sure she would've caught us while we were doing any mother's worst nightmare - but he was still mad as well.

"Go to your room," he barked at me and I instantly scurried from out of the living room and into my bedroom. "And no dessert until next week."

That was the worst part of it all, or at least I thought. But sitting in my room after school all alone with no one but my thoughts really took the case. Especially without dessert - my parents were definitely not playing around and went as far as to put a lock on the sweets closet that only they had the key to - it was the definition of cruel and unusual punishment. I had half a mind to crack out my debate skills and argue for at least one last sugary treat before the lockdown, but I knew better than to dig myself an even deeper hole with them.

I had finished my homework about thirty minutes ago and I had texted my friends for a few hours until they had finally fallen asleep and so had my parents. I was truly alone in our dark and quiet apartment with nothing to do but sleep despite the restlessness I felt.

From experience, there was a fifty percent chance that if I walked around my house and maybe checked the fridge to see if there was anything for me to eat besides heavy dinner meals and my father's pears, then I would either wear myself out or make myself even more restless. Of course, there was no harm in trying since I already couldn't sleep.

I walked lightly from out of my bedroom and into the living room where I could pretty much see the whole house. There was a very central view of everything, so I could see my parents' door cocked slightly ajar, the door to my room which was closed behind me, the door that led out to the balcony, and the kitchen which was my objective. The fridge was inviting me, even if I knew there was nothing in there to be had.

Making my way on my tip toes, I stopped myself in front of the fridge before gently prying it open. Sure enough, there was mostly fruit, juice, water, and meats for dinner that needed to be cooked. A battle lost. With expert carefulness, I closed the door again, listening out for signs that my parents might've been awakened by the slight noises I made.

But instead, I heard the faint sound of loud voices outside that I hadn't heard earlier. After honing in, I was able to make out that they were coming from my good old faithful neighbor's house.

Of course they were, I guess Carter and his family being noisy was a running theme in my life ever since we became neighbors. And so was me minding my business and never crossing the line we had drawn in the sand between each other. At least, not anymore. Being that it was almost midnight now, it had been two days since we had crossed that line and every part of me wanted to go back and forget that any of it ever happened.

Easier said than done.

There was a part of me that was curious about whatever seemed to be going on across the hall, a part of me that had taken the rest of me to the door already and was undoing the locks before I even knew it.

"I can't believe you, Carter," I heard his mother bark at him from my position in the hallway. "Having parties and probably sleeping around with random sluts while we're out! Why can you be like that square who lives across the hall? The Casey girl!"

"So what if I did, mom?" He defended, disappointingly not doubling back on the part where I was directly called boring and indirectly called slutty. "You and dad aren't even here enough for it to affect you anyway!"

"Well, I still like a clean house, dammit!"

I decided to tune them out, not really comfortable with the idea of listening in on them anymore. I knew the Abrams family worked for some big, important company and they spent a lot of time out of the state in important meetings and conferences. Putting together the lavish, upper-middle class lifestyle they gave their child as well as the very loose leash - if any - on who he was and what he did, it made perfect sense why he threw all of those parties. And of course his parents were mad that they had such a deviant child, but could they blame him?

I had become fixated on the fact that I became a random slut and a boring square to his mother in only a matter of seconds, though I'm sure she didn't know that I was the slut her son was fooling around with just yet. Regardless, I was still insulted because I was neither of those things, or at least not in my opinion.

Then again, I wasn't popular in school or even cool for that matter and I didn't really do anything interesting besides debate team. But on the flip side, I had gotten dumped by my boyfriend so I decided to get wasted and sleep with the first guy who paid attention to how I was feeling. Wow, I had no idea my life was becoming two awful clichés at once.

My third was being a clumsy oaf who gets caught eavesdropping because that's exactly what happened. The door to Carter's flew open and sure enough, the boy in question stormed out and met my eye with the strangest look. It was intense, definitely laced with anger at his parents, but it had softened imperceptibly when he saw me.

He was shirtless again, much to my surprise, wearing a pair of basketball shorts as a substitute for pajama pants I guessed. I gave myself about three seconds to stare and give more nuance to my mental picture so I would never have to stare at him again. If I inflated his ego anymore, then it would pop at some point and I wasn't trying to get there.

"I'm going to the vending machine down the hall," he said, catching me completely off guard. I had been preparing myself for him to gloat about how attractive he was or the fact that we slept together, but it thankfully didn't come to that. "You want anything? I know you probably only eat organic crap, so I don't know if they have what you want, but I'm paying."

Organic crap? Little did he know, I was literally on probation from eating sweets because of him and his party. He really had some nerve to tell me such a blatant lie to my face.

But maybe this was just one of those things that worked itself out for the better. Our building - when faced with the realization our neighborhood (along the line of many others across the city) was becoming even more trendy and gentrified - had decided installing amenities on each floor like vending machines and ice machines at the very end of the halls on each floor to somewhat eliminate the need for that late night run to the corner store. It was something I hadn't even been thinking about because I had never been tested like this this before. Now Carter had put it on my radar and I had to admit, I was pretty damn grateful.

I knew that I flip-flopped a lot on where I stood with Carter, but this time, it felt like we really could be friends in such a space like this. This building was big enough for the two of us.

"Yeah," I answered, brushing off his accusation. "I'll walk with you."