Viggo's mind was still reeling with their conversation as he woke up the next day. He had been so confused when she had started it, felt awkward the whole way through, but ultimately, he was happy it had happened.

He had got to put a clearer line between them, and from Saga's reactions and words, she didn't seem to mind the line. For a moment, he had been scared she had developed romantic feelings for him. It would have been awful if she had. Not because of the feelings themselves, but because it would have meant he needed to hurt her.

But with how the conversation had progressed, it was clear she hadn't. And if she hadn't by now, then hopefully she wouldn't ever. Hopefully, she would only ever see him as he saw her; like family, like a sibling.

He was also happy he had said how much he cared about her, had let her know in no uncertain terms. The word love was one he seldom used, even when speaking with Audun, so using it when speaking to Saga had been difficult. But he was pleased he had pushed through and done it all the same.

There was more he could have said the previous evening, more he maybe should have said. Such as why he was so certain he would never develop anything other than platonic feelings for her.

He reasoned with himself that he hadn't because it wasn't only his secret to share. It was Audun's as well. But he knew perfectly well that other reasons weighed more heavily.

He hadn't ever told anyone about his sexual preference. Hrafen, as the only one who knew about his relationship with Audun, had figured it out on his own. Viggo and Audun had even talked about if they should tell people quite a few times in the early days of their relationship, and every time they had together concluded that it was better not to.

As such, Viggo had never been on the receiving end of any such rude remarks, but he had heard plenty directed at others. Even from Kare, who Viggo considered a close friend, had he heard remarks, always as jokes, about men being less because of what they choose to do in the privacy of their own bedroom.

Did Saga hold those types of views? Would she look at him differently, as if he was less, if she were to find out?

Viggo preferred to not know the answers to those questions.

Saga slept peacefully as he got up, her face smooth and calm. And she still was when he was ready to leave. He smiled at her from the door; happy she was getting longer and more proper rest compared to usual.

He went to the knights' lodging, knowing he wanted to be open and honest about what had transpired the previous evening, and because he hoped it would help Audun feel better about the situation.

Audun was in loose pants and a shirt when he opened the door. Clothes which hid the splendour of his body, but which made Audun look relaxed and handsome for it. His hair was as immaculate as always, but the drowsiness in his eyes made Viggo certain he had just rolled out of bed.

"I have something I want to talk to you about," Viggo told him, and brushed Audun's hair behind his ear to touch him more than because the hair needed any fixing.

Audun stifled a yawn and nodded, but the drowsiness cleared from his eyes, making him look alert. After putting his shoes on and throwing a jacket over himself, Audun followed Viggo outside.

They walked in silence across the lane and back into the castle. Through the corridor and to Viggo's office. Their steps were the only sound between them. As it was early, there weren't even any sounds from the other occupants of the castle, though the faint scent of freshly baked bread had spread from the kitchen and to the entrance.

When the office door closed on them, Viggo pulled Audun in for a kiss. Soft and tender, one hand cupping his lover's cheek while the other rested on the small of his back.

"How have you slept?" Viggo asked as he ended the kiss. Again, his fingers brushed back Audun's perfectly laid hair.

"Well. You?" Audun answered with eyes which searched Viggo's for something.

"Had a bit of difficulty falling asleep, but then slept well."

"A lot on your mind?"

"Saga wanted to discuss a surprising topic yesterday evening. Children."

Audun's body stiffened, and Viggo's hand went under his shirt to move his thumb back and forth over his skin.

"What exactly did she want to discuss?" Audun asked, his voice holding a poisonous quality.

"She was worried about people gossiping about me if we never produced one, and offered the possibility to me."

Audun's face turned to a sneer, but only for a second before he composed himself and his face became neutral instead. Void of emotions.

Viggo wanted to shake his head at the man's reaction. And especially at his way of hiding how much the prospect really hurt him.

"If that's what you..." Audun started saying in a voice void of emotions.

"It led to a good conversation between me and Saga," Viggo cut Audun off. "Awkward but good. In which I could clarify I'll never have that interest, though I care for her as family. And from the conversation, I feel certain she feels similarly about me. That she hasn't developed any feelings beyond that for me. Just wanted you to know."

Audun blinked a couple of times. Then scolded and shoved Viggo lightly, though not with enough strength for him to really move at all.

"Don't start a conversation with that you have something to talk about if it's something good," Audun snapped before taking a hold on Viggo's waist and pressing their lips together hard and firm.

"Did I worry you?" Viggo asked as they leaned their foreheads together.

"What do you think?" Audun huffed.

"I'm sorry."

"Just never do it again."

Their lips met again, more tender this time. Then, tongues connecting, tasting each other. Audun's hands went to Viggo's shoulders and pushed slightly. Without hesitating, Viggo yielded and let himself be pushed up against the wall. His hands hugged Audun's waist underneath the shirt, feeling the flesh defined by muscles. Feeling the person he longed for more than anything else. Even while kissing him, Viggo felt an ache over not being as close to the other man as he wanted.

An ache over having to hide this most important and sacred part of him. How wonderful it would be if he had been able to marry Audun instead of being forced into marriage with a woman. How wonderful it would be if he could proudly display his affection for the other man.

Audun's hands were searching their way toward Viggo's skin as well, but a groan rose from his throat.

"Why must you already be in armour?" Audun complained in a voice rougher than normal by lust.

"We can continue this in the evening," Viggo answered, trailing kisses over Audun's jaw. "Or I can take care of you now."

A shudder travelled through Audun's body as Viggo's hands played with the hemline of his trousers.

"Evening," Audun answered nonetheless. "I want to bury myself inside you."

Viggo smiled with his lips against his lover's neck. "Evening it is then."

He pulled away, straightened himself, and Audun did the same before taking a step back. Viggo's eyes went down his body to land on the obvious bulge.

"I can also help you with that now, and then we can continue in the evening," Viggo smirked, and reached out for the top of Audun's pants.

The other man didn't move, which Viggo took as assent and kneeled while pulling both pants and underwear down with him, freeing Audun from the clothed prison. For a moment, Viggo simply took in the beautiful sight that greeted him. The magnificence of the man he loved. He looked up a bit to see Audun look down with eyes misted by lust and reverence. Eyes which closed while a moan vibrated from Audun's lips as Viggo took him into his mouth.

He savoured the moment like he would the most delicious meal after a long time on the road. Let all the tastes and sensations spread. Ensured he devoured every part. And to his meal the most magnificent singing accompanied. It was a moment Viggo wished could have lasted forever, but a moment which always ended far too soon.

When it was over, when Viggo had collected every last drop of the meal, he pulled Audun's underwear and pants back into place before standing.

What met him as he got a closer look at Audun's face again, had him startled, however. Traces of lust still lingered, rosy complexion which matched the out-of-breath breathing. But in Audun's eyes tears had started to form.

"What's the matter? Was it not good?" Viggo asked as his arms wrapped around Audun, pulling him in for a hug.

"That's not it. Everything has just been... a lot lately," Audun replied, leaning his head on Viggo's shoulder.

"I know," Viggo murmured. And then added, because he didn't know what else to say, "I'm sorry."

"I know you are, and it isn't your fault. It's the whole situation. And you've been better. You've been more here with me. Thank you for that. Thank you for not forgetting me."

Viggo's hold tightened as Audun's words pierced his heart. Such a simple thing shouldn't be anything the other man ever felt he needed to thank him for. It should be something obvious, something which wasn't treated like a rarity but as the default. And it had been before the marriage, and Viggo had no one but himself to blame that it wasn't anymore.

But it also meant it was within his power to change that again. He had the ability to make Audun feel as loved as he deserved. And he knew exactly what to do, what to say, to begin making that happen.

"I love you," he whispered. The words felt strange in his mouth. Not because it was the first time he said them to Audun, not because he was uncertain about them, but because he couldn't remember the last time he had used those words to express his feelings for the one he cared for the most.

"What an occasion this is to hear you say that," Audun teased and raised his head again. He brushed his lips against Viggo's before answering the declaration. "I love you too."