A headache, making it feel as if his head had been split in two, welcomed Kai the next morning, caused by both the alcohol he had drunk and how he had tossed and turned in bed after leaving Saga alone outside.

It had been the right thing, the best thing to do. Had he stayed a second longer, he certainly would have kissed her, and that was the worst thing he could do. It would have been a betrayal both toward Viggo and Saga. But leaving her alone and unprotected in the cold while she had alcohol running through her was the second worst thing he could have done. Anything could have happened to her, and to ensure it hadn't, he had abandoned his bed after an hour to see that her footprints in the snow had brought her back inside the castle.

Knowing that had calmed some of his wandering thoughts, but he had still returned to his bed to lie awake without finding rest for at least another hour. And all the while berating himself for both having almost kissed her and having left her unprotected.

He groaned at the headache and wanted nothing more than to roll over and try to sleep some more. But instead, he pulled himself out of bed and got dressed.

Every morning since Viggo had left, he had made sure to be up early so he would be out of bed before Saga. He told himself it was to ensure her safety and well-being, to follow Viggo's orders about protecting her. Though deep down he knew it was to gain whatever time he could in her company. Innocent time, the type of time with her no one could question.

And that morning, the desire for that burnt even stronger in him. He wanted to see she was alright after the previous evening. He wanted to apologise for leaving her so suddenly. Though mostly he wanted to know how much of the previous evening had been alcohol distorting his perception, for he clearly remembered them holding hands, standing far too close together, her looking at him with longing. But he doubted all of that was true. His wishful thinking had simply become reality in his alcohol-muddled mind.

The dining hall was deserted when he entered. Most traces of the previous night had been cleaned away by the castle's maids, though Kai saw spots they had missed of liquid which had been spilled, a glass which had been broken, an empty bottle standing in a corner.

He left the place to venture into the kitchen instead. The cooks were already busy; bustling about in the room which always held the heat of newly made food. The scent of fresh bread reached Kai's nose, and his stomach growled in answer.

"Kai!" a woman one or two years older than him with blonde hair drawn back into a bun and a flour-stained apron exclaimed. "How early you are awake? Wouldn't have thought we would see any of you until noon today."

"Morning, Sigurd," Kai answered her and stifled a yawn. "You got some food ready?"

"The bread just finished," she nodded and pointed to where the buns lay.

Kai walked over to them and cut one through with a knife. By the time he was done, Sigurd had brought the butter to him. After saying his thanks, he buttered the bread before taking his first bite. It was among the best things he had ever eaten, warm and soft, and he was certain the headache lessened bit by bit every time he chewed.

"As amazing as ever," Kai complimented her and smiled.

Her cheeks gained in colour while her fingers went up to play with her hair. "Thank you," she mumbled. Then the head cook yelled at her to make herself useful, and she moved away from Kai with an "excuse me".

He stayed there, eating the bread in small bits to savour it, and watched Sigurd as she worked.

Maybe Evind was right, he thought to himself. Maybe it would do him good to bed Sigurd. He had been far too close to kissing Saga the previous night, and he needed to do something to ensure it didn't happen again. And maybe Sigurd was the answer to that.

The door to the kitchen opened. Usually it creaked, but it was opened so carefully it didn't make a sound, but Kai noticed the movement in the corner of his eye.

Peeking in from the other side of the door was Saga with all her beauty, though her hair was much more a mess than usual and her skin somewhat paler. But nothing could take away from her beauty, and the thoughts Kai had just had seemed laughable. As if he could even bring another woman to his bed when his mind was completely filled with Saga. Doing so would disgrace both Saga and Sigurd in a way he could never do.

"Lady Saga. You are up early," Kai commented, and everything from the previous evening burnt in him. How she had been close enough for him to feel the heat of her body. How comfortable her hands had been in his. And how his mind had played images of what could have been. How he wanted to make those images a reality.

He wanted to take her hands again, bring her somewhere they could be alone. There he wanted to close the distance which had remained the previous evening. Feel her body flushed against his. Feel her quiver and hear her moan his name as he serviced her.

But it was an impossible dream, and he needed to remember that. Even if she hadn't been married, she was still the daughter of a duke. Unreachable. Untouchable. He should have counted himself lucky that she married Viggo, so he at least could get to hold a corner of her.

"I couldn't sleep anymore," Saga admitted and stepped more fully into the kitchen.

"Headache? Got one too. Nothing a bit of bread and water won't cure," Kai answered and turned from her to the bread to busy himself with something, to move his attention from her.

"Lady Saga!" the head cook exclaimed. "What brings the Lady into the kitchen?"

"Just looking for a bit of food," she explained.

"But the Lady could have stayed in bed and rung the bell." The cook looked from side to side while wiping his hands on a towel hanging from his belt. His eyes shifted to Saga for a moment before he stared off to the side. "This isn't a place for a lady," he mumbled and wiped his hands some more.

"Can we have a basket of bread and some butter? And water as well?" Kai asked, and the cook let out a deep sigh as if the request brought him out of the depths of the Underland.

"Certainly. You and the Lady can go sit in the dining hall, and we'll be over with it shortly," the cook nodded before giving the orders.

Kai made a motion with his arm to tell Saga to lead the way.

"He acted strangely," she mumbled as the door to the kitchen closed behind them.

"I think the Lady's presence had him rather rattled," Kai answered, holding the door to the dining hall open for her to walk inside.

"Why?" she frowned.

"For ladies, and certainly not a lady of Saga's standing, usually don't mingle in such a place as the kitchen."

They sat down. Saga's frown had eased, and she smiled instead, though Kai saw pain in her eyes.

"I think more ladies than you think might do that. My mother always brought me to the kitchen when we had guests to sneak some dessert. Or maybe she didn't sneak; it only seemed like it to me."

It took Kai a second to process what she had said as well as understand why his pulse quickened and warmth spread inside him. By the time he had gathered himself, the door to the dining hall had opened, and Sigurd, carrying a tray of food and water, came inside.

"Need anything else, Kai?" she asked after placing the tray before them.

"No, thank you," Kai answered, barely sparing her a glance, but remaining fully focused on Saga. "It is the first time I've heard you mention your mother," he said when they were alone again, for that was what made his body react to her words. With how she had never mentioned her mother before, it felt to Kai as if she shared a sacred part of herself with him.

"It's... It's difficult to talk about her," she mumbled with her eyes down at her knees. "She died when I was very young."

"I'm so sorry," Kai whispered and wanted to hug her. Hold her hand. Brush her cheek. Just any action which might bring her comfort. But he wasn't sure he wouldn't take more if he took a little, and he wasn't sure Saga would welcome that kind of comfort, wouldn't frown at it. So he remained as he was.

A heavy silence filled the space between them. Thick and growing. One which caused a lump in Kai's throat.

"You should eat some," Kai eventually said to break the silence and dispel the awful mood.

Saga did as suggested. Her hands reached out for the bread. The knife cut through the crust.

The heavy atmosphere remained.

Though with everything feeling so tense, Kai reasoned it couldn't get worse. So he took a deep breath and spoke again. Said words he worried would disconcert her. "I apologise for leaving so abruptly yesterday, and leaving you outside and alone. I should not have done that. I'm also sorry if any of my behaviour was inappropriate or caused you any discomfort."

She stopped with butter against the bread to look at him. The smallest of smiles played on her lips, and that was enough to shift the air, to make it lighter again.

"You needn't apologise. You have nothing to apologise for. I am sorry if anything I said or did was inappropriate. Truthfully, I cannot remember everything clearly."

"You needn't ever apologise to me," Kai told her, like he knew he had the previous night, like he would tell her over and over until the day she understood the truth of the words. That she wouldn't ever have to, because there wasn't anything she could ever do which warranted an apology.

Her smile grew. "Not even if I were to land you in a bunch of trouble?"

"Not even then. And besides, if it is trouble which comes from helping Lady Saga out, then it wouldn't be trouble at all."

She tucked away a few strands of her hair before going back to buttering her bread.

"I have your cloak in my bedroom. I should have brought it down with me, but I didn't consider it," she said before taking the first bite out of the bread.

"I can simply fetch it after the Lady has had her fill of bread and water," Kai answered, while really wanting to tell her to keep it, that the thought of her wearing something which had been his brought him unreasonably much joy.

He could not resist anymore, however, as the hair she had just placed behind her ear fell forward again. He reached out and tried to touch her skin as little as possible as he moved it to its place again. But his fingers brushed her, and he felt himself teetering on the edge with only a thin thread holding him back from falling over.

And she looked at him with eyes that reminded him of the night before. Eyes filled with longing. But then she looked away again and took a sip of the water.

"Do you always feel this awful after drinking?" Saga asked next. Her tone casual. Her eyes light, and Kai was certain that whatever he had seen in her eyes, what he had thought had been there the evening before, had been his imagination. He was a friend to her and nothing more. She would certainly never view him the same way he viewed her.