Thursday goes very similar. I meet Kian - who finally gives up on pushing me away - and we either have awkward silence or talk about our likes and interests. We haven't found out too many things about each other, because he avoids quite a few subjects, a few of them being work, grades, family, murder, and cheeseburgers. Hey, any subject can come up in a conversation.

We both agree that Mr. London is boring and odd, and Mr. Sir is totally awesome. Kian says he's also a very good runner. I ask him when and where he runs and he doesn't tell me. I've definitely got some digging to do.

Meanwhile, in science and computers, Hayden and I just talk to each other. He also helps me understand what we're learning. And he's funny! He'd make the perfect friend, but he's very against me hanging out with Kian. Call me crazy, but it seems as if Kian has opened up a little since I started talking to him. I can't leave him, or he might feel hurt, like I suspect his fear is.

I don't die, though. I manage to live without any accidents happening. Maybe they were just that - accidents. They couldn't have been connected. That's a crazy thought.

On Friday, people keep bugging me about Kian. It's really quite annoying. The day starts when I walk to school with Caylen, as always. He was the first to grill me.

"Why do you hang out with him?" he asks.

"Because! He's lonely!"

"That's a dumb reason! You're totally crushing on him!"

My face flushes. "What?!"

"See! It's so obvious! I don't get what you see in him; he still scares me."

"I don't have a crush on him, Caylen. He's my friend."

"Sure."

"Seriously! I have never once thought about having that kind of relationship! With anyone! Don't you believe me?"

"Of course I believe you, Natalie. I'm just joking. But I do wonder what you see."

"I said-"

"I don't mean you like like him, I just want to know what you like about him."

"I dunno. He's actually pretty nice, as far as I can tell."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Should I stop being so rude?"

"I'd appreciate it. I haven't told anyone about your pranks, so you should accept my friendships."

"Who else are you friends with?" he asks.

"Well, Hayden Young, but that's it. He's just my partner in science. He keeps asking me to sit with him at lunch but I said no."

"He's probably worried for your well being."

"Dude! There's nothing wrong with Kian! No one ever really tries to talk to him so they shouldn't be judging him!"

"I guess you're right."

We arrive at the school, and Caylen says, "Hey, I've got to go talk to one of my buddies. You go find Kian, okay?"

"Okay...."

He runs off, and I find Kian sitting at one of the picnic tables in the yard. Basically, everyday is like this.

"So," I say, "have I gotten you any closer to being happy this week?"

He smirks. "You've made me feel uncomfortable, at the least."

I purse my lips. "So it doesn't feel better having someone to talk to?"

"Most of the things we could talk about are not things I want to share. It's really not helping."

"Because you're not sharing."

"I can't."

"I don't understand! What could possibly be so bad that you can't tell me?"

"My life."

"It's hard to be friends with someone who keeps everything to themselves."

"I never wanted to be friends."

I glare at him, but then I start laughing. I laugh because it's so true. I look at Kian and see that a small smile has broken through on his face. That's all he ever does. Small smiles. At least it's a start.

One day, I'll get him to smile. For real.

I swear it.

"Trust me, Kian, someday you'll be glad that I'm doing this. It's not healthy to keep everything to yourself. Will you tell me something? It doesn't have to be a big secret. Maybe a little one?"

"I.... No."

"Someday? Soon?"

He smiles just the slightest bit bigger this time, right as the bell rings. "Maybe."

---------------------------------------------

First period. That's where more people start to grill me.

"Natalie! Are you in love with Kian?" Jessica whispers while Mr. London's back is turned.

"What? No!" I whisper back. "Why does everyone assume that?"

"Well, you're a girl and he's a boy, and you're hanging out together. What're we supposed to think?"

"Is it so wrong for two people of the opposite gender to be friends?"

"Well, guess not. But it just looks that way."

"That's not your problem."

She looks at me, a little stunned, and then leans back into her seat.

In Mr. Sir's class, Robin, the blond haired girl, asks the same type of question.

"Are you dating the Aethelmaer boy?"

"No," I say simply, tired of explaining.

"It's okay if you're not, but you're the talk of the school."

"What? I didn't think anyone knew who I was."

"Well, technically they don't. They call you the tall girl with the big eyes." She looks at me sympathetically. "I try to stand up for you where I can, but I didn't know what the true story was. That's why I asked."

"He's only my friend. I'm just so tired of people asking me about it."

"I'm so sorry. It must be horrible."

"It's very annoying."

I'm grateful for Robin. She's so nice. She doesn't protest when I tell her the true story. And she's been standing up for me.

"I'm sorry," I tell her. "I probably sounded rude. Thank you for understanding."

"No problem. Nobody deserves rumors. On your first week, too!"

"Tell me about it."

"Do you have a phone?" she asks.

"No...but I have email. I haven't used it in years, though."

"I think we should keep in touch. We could be friends."

"Definitely!"

I write my email address on a slip of paper and give it to her. Then the bell rings for class to be over. We smile and head our separate ways.

Ms. Mayberry's class.

"Natalie, why don't you sit with me at lunch? You can't possibly see anything in that Aethelmaer kid!"

"Hayden," I say, "give him a chance."

"Okay, I get it," Hayden says. "So what if he's good looking? I'm good looking too!"

"Hayden!" I whisper.

"Sorry," he chuckles. After a second, he whispers, "It's true."

I drop my hand on my keyboard and a bunch of random letters appear on the screen.

"Do you dare to deny it?" he says quietly.

I don't answer, but he keeps pushing.

"You can't say no! You're too embarrassed to admit it."

I feel my face blushing and I'm trying so hard to keep my giggles down.

"Come on, Natalie," he teases in a singsong voice, "just say I'm good looking!"

My face is scrunched up from trying not to laugh, and when it starts to push itself out, I shove my hand in my mouth. But then I just start laughing with my hand in my mouth and I start coughing.

Very attractive.

I pull my hand out of my mouth and keep coughing. Several people are staring at me, including Ms. Mayberry.

"Miss Cace?" she says. "Do you need to get a drink?"

I nod and hurriedly stand up. On my way out the door, I hear Hayden whisper to somebody, "My looks were taking her breath away." I'm glad my back is to the class, because my face is probably as red as a clown nose.

After getting a drink, I go back to class and sit next back down to Hayden.

"Ready to admit it?" he asks.

"No!"

"I have your backpack."

"What?"

"I have your backpack."

"Where is it?" I definitely didn't see my backpack anywhere near.

"I'll tell you if you admit I'm good looking."

"You little twerp!"

He laughs at my attempts to punch him.

"Admit it!"

We're not making a lot of noise, but it's enough to bug the people around us.

"You can't make me!" I protest.

"Oh, come on! You're not saying it's not true! You don't want to lie, huh?"

"You're such a pest!"

"Tell me I'm good looking!"

"Give me my backpack."

"Admit it and I swear I'll give it back."

"Why does it matter so much?"

"I don't hear it enough. And your opinion matters to us!"

"You and who else?"

"My feelings!"

That was such a weird statement that I stopped to think.

"Natalie," he whispers in that teasing voice.

"I refuse to be forced into speech."

"You'd make a good president."

Just the the bell rings.

"Hayden, time to give me my backpack."

"Uh uh. We had a deal."

"Some deal!" The other students are leaving the class.

"Hayden, I have places to be. Please," I plead.

"Say it."

"I'll report you for thievery!"

"Say it."

"Ugh!"

"I've got all day."

"Fine! You're good looking!" I hear a few kids around me mutter some words I'd rather not repeat.

Hayden grins and the kid on the other side of him hands over a backpack - my backpack - and Hayden gives him a five dollar bill.

"You idiot!" I say. "You just wasted money just to hear me say that?"

"Of course." He hands me my backpack and leaves the class.

I wander to lunch in a daze. Could it be possible Hayden likes me? I really hope not.

After getting my lunch, I sit down across from Kian, just like every other day this week. He always looks a little surprised when I sit by him, as if he thinks I should've just decided not to sit by him by now.

"Do you feel like talking about your problems today?" I ask.

"We had this conversation this morning."

"I'm sorry. Sometimes it's hard to talk when there's nothing to talk about."

"Who ever said we had to talk about ourselves?"

"Well, you started acting all weird when I started talking about my favorite burger restaurant that got burned down."

"True."

"That doesn't seem like a big secret. Maybe you could tell me why you're not comfortable with it?"

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"Did you know someone who was there when it burned?!"

He stares at his food. "Maybe."

Goodness! I've made the assumption that something happened to his parents, which could be why he doesn't talk about them. Maybe someone else was killed in the fire at the restaurant? Maybe it was one of his parents? That totally explains why he doesn't like talking about it.

The burger restaurant was burned by The Red. Their sticker was right on the front door. They seem to target small businesses that carry a lot of money. It's very rare they kill someone for no reason. For a while, it seemed like my parents were killed for nothing. I'd spent days and months wondering why. Ever since I found that paper in the orphanage saying that it was The Red who killed them, I thought about everything. We didn't have a lot of money. We hadn't done anything to provoke them. We hadn't done anything. So why?

It makes sense now. My parents told me they were going on vacation so they could inspect a crime scene, and they got killed on their way back. They got too close to discovering The Red. They found too many clues. The Red simply didn't like that.

A question occurs to me that never occurred to me before. Why do The Red do this? Is it just for the money?

My blood stops cold. Did I just make a breakthrough? The Red will be someone who has a lot of money, and a lot of nice things. I wonder if we could inspect the banks here and see who has the largest account.

Suddenly, I remember where I am. I look up. Kian hasn't spoken, but he's looking at me with worried eyes.

"I'm sorry," I say, "for bringing that up. There probably is a lot more to your discomfort than I realized."

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah.... Why?"

"You looked a little lost there...a little sad."

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"I'm fine."

"It's not healthy to keep everything to yourself."

I grin. He just quoted what I told him earlier this morning.

"You're absolutely right. But this is something I absolutely, positively cannot share. It could affect someone else."

"So you understand what I feel like?"

"I guess so."

He offers me that small smile again, and it's driving me crazy. I want so badly to see what he'd look like if he was truly happy....

Who am I for thinking I can make him happy? Is it really even possible? I have to hope. I have to make him smile.

After a few minutes of eating, we head outside. I realize Kian is taller than me. There's a few boys here who are the same height, including Hayden, but several are shorter than me. Kian seems about the perfect height next to me.

"Kian?" I ask. "Do people ever point out how tall you are?"

"They used to, back before they discovered how creepy I am."

"You're not creepy."

"I'm not?"

"No." I smile at him.

"I thought I was creepy. Sometimes I scare myself."

"Scare yourself?"

"Yeah.... I don't know. Just how I don't like being around people. I've always considered myself a bad person because I have to push people away."

"You don't have to."

"I do."

"Why, Kian?"

He doesn't say anything. It's probably better not to push him right now.

"It's okay," I say. "I understand. I really do."

I feel tears threatening to form, and my face heats up. I'm flooded with thoughts of my parents, and how I wanted so badly to tell everyone how they really died, but I couldn't. It would just make things worse. I have no right to be pushing him when I have plenty of secrets myself.

What if his parents were killed by The Red, too?

Stupid Natalie. You don't even know if his parents are dead.

Kian's watching as the first tear falls, and drops to the ground. I quickly brush off my face, and compose myself so no more tears fall. Kian doesn't say anything, and I'm thankful. Maybe he really does understand. Maybe I'm more like him than I thought. I've never considered myself as someone with a lot of secrets, but being around him, I realize how much I'm hiding. I want to tell someone everything. I want to tell him. But I can't. I shouldn't take any chances; I can't expose the agency in order to keep things under control. I haven't even known him for very long, but I feel it inside. I trust him. I've never felt like spilling my thoughts out to anyone before. Not even Jill. My thoughts were always personal. I've never met someone so much like me in such a different way.

As we're walking to our next class, I'm really wishing I'd chosen to sit next to him instead of Hayden.

---------------------------------------------

"Natalie!" Caylen comes running to me after school.

"What?"

"You and me," he pants as he reaches me, "We're gonna have some fun tonight."