"Okay, Alexei, whatever your end game is, cut the shit with Angela. She doesn't need to be in our mind games, she needs you to be her dad " Tammy pokes Alexei's chest in frustration that nowhere where she runs, either Mark or Alexei ruins her peace and Alexei grabs her wrist tightly.

"I'm not playing a game, that's my little girl. She needs me and I missed you. Stop fighting me. You keep acting as though I'm the only one that feels whatever this is between us." Alexei spits out in an equally angry whisper tone.

Tammy puls her wrist. It is starting to hurt, like maybe break. "Alexei...let go."

Just like that her wrist is free.

Tammy looks down at the bruising area. Her wrist will turn purple. Her head hurts. Another thing she'll have to hide and explain away to Mark. She feels so trapped in worry as Alexei rubs her wrist.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."
Alexei's voice is barely a whisper. He does seem very contrite.

Tammy softens in her anger towards Alexei because it feels unfair. He isn't all to blame. She doesn't want to give up her anger because all that's waiting is the sure understanding that she likes Alexei so much. Already she's fighting to feel a gloating brightness at his admission of missing her.

"You do a lot of shit you don't mean."
Tammy replies but she meant it towards herself.

Tammy hadn't meant to betray Mark. Tammy hadn't meant to ruin whatever was between herself and Mark but since sleeping with Alexei a second time, it feels as though things will never be the same with herself and Mark.  She hadn't meant to be in this mess. Alexei kisses her wrist and grabs her hand with a sigh of self-disappointment.

"I'm trying to spend time with Angela today. I'm also trying to show you I can do normal. I can be that guy. I want to be that guy for you." Alexei still speaks in a very soft and soothing voice.

"I don't care, I just want to know whatever you have me watching Mark for and give that to you so you can get out of my life. I want my life back." Tammy says the words feeling genuine emotional fatigue.

Alexei blinks, turning a shade of red.
"You think you're ever going to have a future without me?"

The question is a real one. Alexei isn't threatening her. He isn't speaking to her in any condescending tone. Tammy is left to think over the question. Alexei is making her face that feeling she's trying to run from. Tammy doesn't believe she's ever going to have her life back, without these two men and it frightens her but she can't seem to let go of the hope this will all end.

Angela ran to them from a store in the crowded mall. "Omg look! I found matching Minnie shirts for us!" She waves a bag from some urban-ready wear store.

"That's great!!!" Tammy likes the shirts as she peers into the shopping bag. "Minnie is awesome. "

"Omg, they're going to love the selfies we take!" Angela did her happy dance once again and Tammy's heart warms at being able to be a part of Angela being happy.

Tammy smiles handing the bag back.

Then, she took a sip of the lemonade she'd gotten from a very popular pretzel shop in the mall. Tammy still has a cinnamon twist and cream cheese and chives-filled pretzel to eat.  Alexei and Angela laughed at how much she'd gotten to eat but it has been forever since she had comfort foods.

Tammy misses home.

"Look, Dad, I think Mark is over there!" Angela points out cavalier after they'd walked over to a fair area of the mall.

Tammy finds herself looking in the direction Angela points out as she sips the drink.

She quickly turns away, thankful, that it doesn't seem Mark noticed them. Mark has some Naomi Campbell, back in the '90s, woman on his arm. The woman has very long Fulani braids and everything about her is flawless. It is obvious the duo are flirting and know each other well. The woman presses her hand to Mark's chest and is speaking seductively near his lips.

Tammy hates herself for wanting to look back.

Did the woman kiss Mark? Did Mark kiss that woman the way he kisses her? Tammy didn't deserve to care. She didn't deserve to feel hurt. Tammy is hurt because she suddenly realizes she had believed everything Mark said.

"Come, we have been here long enough. How about we go ride the Ferris wheel?" Alexei suggests and Tammy is sure he is trying to make her forget Mark.

Tammy feels dumb for the bitter taste in her mouth and the ache in her belly.

She knew Alexei is carefully studying her while jealous thoughts blare in her head. What makes her feel dumb is that she is the one who'd acted so caviler about sex with Mark. Now, she just wants to go over there and be that black stereotype portrayed on raunchy daytime 'talk shows'. Tammy wants to confront him about all the stupid stuff that he told her during sex and the night as he held her so tenderly.

As they walk, Alexei pulls her back allowing Angela to walk out of earshot. "He's not worth it."

Angela had abandoned them when she saw a few of the kids she knew from school.

Now, Tammy stands in the line to ride the Ferris wheel with Alexei. Today she finds comfort in his silence. He doesn't say anything about Mark. There are no questions and she is grateful. She found herself fighting back tears even now.

Are her tears even about Mark?

Remembering that this day began with tears, Tammy finds false security in believing the tears aren't connected to Mark. He only symbolized familiarity in such a foreign place. Tammy is away from everything she knew and loved. Mark is like a security blanket. She is trying to convince herself but all she keeps thinking about is if Mark is somewhere making love to that woman the same way he did to her.

Tammy feels sick with her hypocrisy.

It is her fault getting into this, but the toll of the past months weighs on her, especially this portion in Russia, where everything was so completely different. Today everything comes full circle. Tammy hasn't thought, felt, understood anything since she's left the closet. Everything has been a form of altered consciousness, just a pure desire to survive. However now, everything hurts and feels real.

Mark held a gun to her father, could have killed him, and the whole family. This is still better than that outcome, right?

In this reality, Tammy never worries about what she will wear, or eat, or any other decision because either Mark or Alexei will choose for her. Tammy wonders if either man did anything so bad. Maybe she needs to accept the flow of life and go along with it all. Maybe it is the way she is rejecting change that makes it bad. Tammy can't find how she feels. She feels crazy as though she's losing her sanity and it's scary.

"I know you're hurting right now and I'm sorry." Alexei's voice took her from her thoughts.

"Can we just not. . ." Tammy's eyes roll missing Alexei's silence as just responding feels fatiguing and like a stabbing pain through her chest.

"No, we need to talk. Not like last time. Tammy, I want this with you, but I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be hurt and I can't keep watching Mark destroy you. I can't keep being a part of it." Alexei says and he looks out of the window and took in the scenery.

"Why today Alexei?"
Tammy tries to avoid looking at him.

"Cassandra used to abuse Mark too, but he thought he was in love with her. Things were messed up Tammy. The things Cassandra did to us and taught us since we were young just messed us up. Mark thinks the issues between myself and him can be solved if we all replay that time in our life.

Mark wants to share you with me. He wants all that toxicity we lived with Cassandra and some other women with you. I can't do that to you and I won't." Alexei sounds genuine.

In her heart, Tammy felt if she hadn't slept with Alexei that maybe somehow Mark wouldn't be with that woman. The universe is punishing her whoredom. Then again, she never has known Mark. He never showed he was a faithful person and never said they were exclusive. It took her back to the night she slept with Alexei in the bathroom. What if Mark had been letting her know they could talk because he'd wanted to share her with Alexei?/

"Why would he want to share me with you? It just doesn't make sense." Tammy shook her head.

Alexei looks uncomfortable. "He thinks it's going to make me and him close again. That's not the point, Tammy, I think we are good for each other and I just want to let you know that things are going to get messy. Mark is going to realize that I have feelings for you and he's going to focus back on betraying the family to get to me.

Now, you have to choose. There is still some time but I just want to do whatever I can to let you know I care about you and I want you in my life. I hope when the time comes you choose me."

" I don't like this new thing where you are trying to be all super relatable and like you're a great guy. You know that you're the same man that I met in that mask. You know that you branded me. So I don't like the new game. And I truly don't understand what the f*** is going on between us."Tammy is fed up with Alexei's bullshit, she's fed up with Mark.

"I know we met under circumstances. I am also very sorry about that first time but in the office, you wanted it as much as I wanted it. You think I'm a bad guy due to limited experiences. I am being myself. I don't know how to be smooth and just charming like Mark. " Alexei finishes bitterly.

"Would you even want to?"
She asks quietly. The mention of Mark sending an ache in her chest.

"Very much."
His eyes seem sincere. He spoke quietly.

"I don't want to talk about this. " Tammy grew suddenly uncomfortable. She looks away not able to look into his eyes feeling incredibly naked.

"Tammy, I know you're hurt right now. I just want to tell you the truth about everything because I don't want to have any regrets if you don't choose me. I need you to know everything. The beginning is that I'm the one truly betraying the family, but there is more to the story. "