The next morning, everyone was sitting in the gathering room. They were getting everything ready to leave as they had to move on to the next tour stop. They only had a few more weeks until the tour was over, and they started press for the new album. Their schedule wouldn't be as crazy as the tour, but it was still pretty full. They also had to go back overseas for a lot of it and see their families. Julie and Amanda were deciding what to do. They were supposed to return home, but they did have more time off. Monetarily, it would be tough, but they could travel to 1 or 2 more shows before flying back to LA.

"JJ, I think we should stay. We could manage." Amanda said.

"I dunno, Amanda. It's not feasible to drive, and flying last minute would cost a fortune. And I'm not sure I'm ready to have Harry and Niall pay for it. Which I'm sure they would, but I'm just not sure I'm ready to depend on that yet." Julie said.

"We could do it." Amanda said again.

"Then stay, Amanda. It's not dependent on what I do." Julie got up. She was still having a hard time with everything that had spilled out during this trip.

Amanda put her hand on JJ's arm. "Please don't. Please just talk to me."

"I'm talked out. Right now, I don't want to be anywhere. I wish I could just climb in a hole. While I appreciate all the 'support', no one knows what it feels like to be me. What it's like inside my head now that everything's been brought up. I just can't do this right now." She started to walk towards the door.

Harry got up and started after her. "Julie wait, please."

"Not now, please, just not now." She dropped her head and walked out. She heard a crash and what sounded like things hitting the floor, but she didn't turn around. She couldn't. She didn't want to cry in front of everyone, and she felt like she was losing her mind. She went back to their room and lay down and cried.

Harry leaned on the table he just shoved everything off of. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to know what caused her to be the way she was; but now that they made her bring it up, she'd been completely off. There was no hot and cold; it was just nothing.

"What the hell is going on, Harry?" He heard Louis say.

"Nothing." He said as he pushed himself off the table.

"Right, so you just go around wrecking the place for no reason." Liam said. "You and Amanda and Niall have been quiet and like you're walking on egg shells when it comes to JJ. Don't tell me that nothing's going on. She's our friend, too."

"It's not our story to tell." Niall said. He put his hands on Amanda's shoulders as she started to cry. "It's alright, baby. We knew it was gonna be tough."

"I think they should know." Amanda said. "She will hate it, but dealing with it on her own hasn't gone well. I think it's too much for just Harry to deal with, and I know I'm not sure how to deal with it."

"Will someone just tell us already?" Zayn said.

Niall looked at Amanda who was crying and Harry who was still angry. "I probably shouldn't, but her last relationship was pretty messed up."

"Messed up, Niall? The asshole told her she was worthless and ugly and then beat her because she wasn't perfect enough. Messed up doesn't begin to describe it." Harry said throwing a mug across the room. He lost it. With her not here and her being more closed off than usual, he couldn't help himself. He thought having her tell him what was wrong would help, but it didn't seem to.

Liam grabbed Harry's arms. He knew he was angry and knew this is how he usually dealt with anger, but he could tell this was different. "Hey, you have to calm down."

He tried to pull away from Liam, but before he knew it, Louis and Zayn were by his side, too.

"Harry, come on. Sit down. Let's deal with this." Louis tried. "No one likes it, but this isn't the way."

"I don't want to sit down. I want this to have never happened! No one likes it, Louis? Isn't exactly what I would say. I wish this wouldn't have happened. I wish I didn't have to deal with this!" He said pulled away again and knocked more things from another table.

"Harry!" Amanda said.

"No Amanda, I know you have to be just as angry!" He said.

"No, Harry." She pointed to the door. JJ was standing in it, jaw clenched, practically shaking.

"Julie. Shit." Harry said as he went to her.

Julie stepped back from him and practically cowered. "Don't." She said turning her head.

It stopped him in his tracks. She thought he was going to hit her. "I would never! How could you think..." He trailed off when he looked at what she was looking at. A wrecked room. His anger got the best of him, and it scared her. His freaking out had terrified her. "I wouldn't; I swear." She stepped back again when he reached for her. She finally looked up at him. He could see the fear in her eyes. "Julie, I would never, no matter how angry. Please."

Julie looked at everyone else. They knew. She could see it in their eyes. The pity look. The I feel sorry for her look. How could they tell them? "You told them? Everyone? Really, how could you? I trusted both of you!" She looked from Harry to Amanda. "I can't believe you would do this. You don't have to deal with this. I already told you that!" She pushed Harry's arms away from her when he went to reach for her again. "I hate all of you!" She literally ran down the hallway to the stairs.

Harry went to go after her, but felt Niall's hand on his arm. "Go talk to Amanda. Let me." He ran out after her and asked security which way she went.

Harry wanted to flip the chair, but he stopped himself because he thought about Julie's reaction to him just now. "How could she think I would ever hit her?" He asked Amanda.

"She doesn't know any better." Amanda said.

"She should know better!" He said.

"She does Harry. But it has to be hard for her to separate everything, especially right now. We just made her talk about something she'd hid from everyone for 2 years. Something she buried so deep inside she didn't tell me for 2 years. And if you wouldn't have come into her life, she probably still wouldn't have told me. We dug all of that up, and she'd buried it deep. I know this has to be horribly hard on you. But I'm begging you not to give up on her just yet." Amanda said trying to not cry harder.

"Why does everyone think I'm going to walk away? I never even hinted at that." He said.

"Seems like you're not dealing with it the greatest." Liam said.

"You tell me then, Mr. Cool, how you would deal with your girlfriend telling you she was with someone who beat the crap out of her for 2 years. Yeah, because you would be rational, Liam." Harry looked at him angrily.

"I probably wouldn't be, you're right. You've only been with her what, a few weeks? Can you even call her your girlfriend?" He asked.

Harry stood up and found Louis' hands on his chest holding him back. Liam just pissed him off. "It doesn't matter how long we've been together, or even if she is my girlfriend. I care about her, and I thought you did, too. How could you be ok with this?"

"I'm not. You know that I wouldn't want anyone to be treated like that." Liam said. "I didn't mean that."

"Think before you speak next time." Harry said. He felt Amanda's hand on his arm. He sat down when he felt her pull on his arm.

"She needs us Harry. No matter what happens; she needs us. I don't know what to do either; but no matter how angry we are, that's not what's going to help. I would like nothing more than for someone to teach that so called man a lesson, but that's not what she needs." Amanda said.

"I'd like to teach him a lesson." Amanda and Harry both turned and looked at Zayn when he said it. "What? I'm not ok with it. Not at all."

"I think we all would." Louis said. "She wouldn't need to know."

"Right. No one even knows who he is." Amanda said. "Look, I appreciate all the support you want to give her, but I think violence and anger is the last thing she needs to see."

Harry dropped his head. What had he done? He'd better learn how to deal with this before she never came back. "Dammit!"

Niall walked out onto the roof. He was told that's where she went. He walked around and saw her. She was sitting on the ledge with her feet hanging over the edge. It was scary. "JJ, come down from there, please."

"Nah, I'm good." She kept looking down. "I'm petrified of heights, but I'm good." She needed the adrenaline rush that it was giving her. She needed it to block all the other things from her mind.

"I'm serious, please. You're scaring me." He went up to touch her arm. She pulled away quickly which scared him even more. "JJ, you're not thinking of...." He trailed off.

"Oh trust me, I've thought about it more than once. But I would have done it a long time ago if I was going to, Niall." She swung her feet over and got down off the ledge.

He instinctively hugged her. "Thank you. Are you ready to come back down and talk now?"

She pulled back from him. "No, and please don't touch me."

He kind of looked at her. "Look, I get it. We all get it. But there is no way that any one of us would ever do what happened to you in the past. There's just no way."

"You mean you would never beat the crap out of me? You can't even say it. Yeah, I never thought it would happen at all. I was sure wrong before. It doesn't matter. I'm just ready to go home. All of this was a mistake. No matter how far I run, I will never get away from it. I had a great run in LA, but it's time to just move on. It's my fault for letting someone do it to me, and it's my fault I let myself fall for someone else. I just can't do this." She said to him.

Niall slowly took her hands. "Listen to me, please. Don't disappear. You don't have to do this alone. Not anymore. Amanda would be devastated. Harry would be crushed, and I would hate it. You're a part of all of our lives now. Let us be there for you."

She wanted to believe him. She really did. But she just shook her head. "It's all my fault. I deserve to do this on my own." She took her hands back and turned towards the ledge, put her hands on it, and looked out over the city.

Niall took that opportunity to text everyone. Amanda, Harry, Liam, Louis and Zayn. Two words. Roof now. He put his phone away, turned her around, and just hugged her tightly. "It's not your fault. I'm sorry, but you are completely wrong."

Harry sat, arms on his legs, hands clasped in front of him. Head down. Amanda had her hands on top of his. Neither knew what to do. They didn't know what was going on. Where she and Niall had gone, what was being said. It was so frustrating. They heard their text notifications go off along with everyone else's. Everyone looked at their phones, and then each other. Zayn was the first one out the door followed by Liam and Louis. Harry took Amanda's hand and walked with her. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know if the message was good or bad. Amanda looked up at him and stayed silent also. What do you do at a time like this? By the time they reached the roof, Zayn had already replaced Niall in the tight hug, and Louis and Liam were closing in on each side. Julie tried pushing Zayn away and then pull back from the other two, but they weren't letting go.

"I don't want your pity." Julie said to them.

"Good thing it's not pity then." Louis said. He and Liam closed tightly in, and she was stuck in between the three of them. She couldn't even move. They wouldn't let her push or pull away.

Niall walked up to Amanda and Harry. "She's blaming herself for everything. For it happening in the first place, for telling you guys, for falling for Harry. She's ready to disappear. Said she had a good run in LA, but it was time to move on because she could never escape it now." He touched Amanda's cheek. "I have never seen anyone so defeated. If she leaves though, I don't think she will let anyone help her. When I got up here, she was sitting on the ledge, feet dangling over. She scared me. But she came down and said she would have done it a long time ago if she was going to. I don't think she knows what to do or how to let anyone help her."

"I don't know how to help her." Amanda said. "I wish I would have never pushed her to tell me. I seriously wish I would have just let it be."

When Harry went to go towards Julie, Niall stopped him. "I know this is hard, but let them be for a minute. Maybe what she needs is them." He said nodding towards Zayn, Liam, and Louis. "People who aren't so invested."

Julie just stood there. She wasn't going to be able to get away from the 3 of them. No matter how hard she tried. She couldn't believe that they all cared so much as to just hug her and not let her go. She never felt anything like it. And from them. They were One Direction, and they cared about her. She couldn't wrap her head around it. She pushed away so hard, but not even that budged the 3 guys. They should've given up by now. All of them. All of a sudden, she felt safe. It was a crazy feeling. She started to cry and found herself wrapping her arms around Zayn's shoulders and hugging him tighter. She put her hands on Liam and Louis arms when they closed around Zayn's back. She couldn't stop herself from crying. She had never felt safer. But she has. She just realized she had felt safer. Harry. She felt safer in his arms than anywhere else. And with Amanda. Living with Amanda made her feel like she actually had a safe place to live. After a few more minutes, she slowly started to pull back. They loosened their grips slightly, but still formed a circle around her. They all had tears in their eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down." She wiped her tears.

"You cry as much as you want. We will always be here for you." Zayn said.

"He's right. We don't pity you, but we do want to make sure you're ok." Louis said.

"You don't have to be alone." Liam added.

"I don't know how not to be. It's really hard to let anyone in." She admitted.

"Well, shocker here, JJ but we figured that one out." Louis said. "We will be pains in your ass until you realize that we are your family now. Big brothers for life."

"I'm older then all of you." She said wiping her eyes again.

"Doesn't matter." Zayn said. "We got your back."

"And your front and your sides." Liam said.

She couldn't help but kind of laugh. "Ok, Liam I get it. Thanks guys but I think..." She looked over at Harry, Amanda, and Niall.

"Yeah, you're leaving us for Harry. We get it. Only stings a little." Louis said.

"Thanks, Louis." She gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he hugged her tightly. She turned to Liam. "Thanks, Liam." She gave him a kiss on the cheek also, and he hugged her tightly as well. She turned to Zayn. "And thanks, Zayn, for one of the tightest hugs I've ever gotten." She kissed his cheek.

"I got more if you ever need them." He said hugging her again and giving her a kiss on the cheek as well.

Harry watched the interaction between Julie and Liam, Louis, and Zayn. It was always so different. He was almost jealous of it. It sounded ridiculous, but it's how he felt.

Julie took a deep breath. She finally admitted to herself that she felt safer with Harry than with anyone else her entire life. She wasn't scared of him at all, but it was like she couldn't get out of the past enough to admit it and let it happen. She hoped it wasn't too late. She needed to go to him. As she started to walk towards Harry, Amanda rushed up and hugged her.

"I was so scared. Please don't ever do that again. Please don't climb out on ledges, and please don't talk about disappearing." Amanda said.

Julie hugged her back and looked at Niall. "Thanks for sharing the details."

He hugged both of them. "We want to help, so sorry, but I will every time."

Julie pulled back from Amanda. "I'm sorry but I...." She looked over at Harry.

"Yes, of course." Amanda said hugging her again and then stepping back.

Julie slowly stepped towards Harry; but when he opened his arms to her, she practically jumped into them. When he wrapped them around her, she lost it again. Safe. Warm. Protected. She hadn't recognized those feelings before because they'd never happened until now. She started crying again. "Don't let me go. Please. This is the place I feel safe. I couldn't see it before."

"I wouldn't dare." He closed his eyes. He wanted her to feel safe. That's the only thing he wanted.

Everyone else came up to them and hugged them. It became a big group hug. Julie took a deep breath and exhaled. She felt so much being released. In that moment she had never felt more relieved. She had never felt safer. She couldn't believe people like this existed, especially this many in one group. She felt lucky for once in her life. It may be a struggle, and it may not last forever; but for right now, she felt she was where she belonged.

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment/share. I would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction