Later that night Julie was finishing putting away all the groceries at Harry's house when Harry walked in. She was able to order everything online to be delivered; it made everything so much easier. Harry and Niall also had called and hired movers to move everything from their current apartment to the new apartment. She had to admit it was nice to not have to worry about so much. Niall and Amanda had just left to go get his place ready as guests were going to stay at both his and Harry's house during the holiday. She turned around, yawned and wrapped her arms around Harry's waist when he walked up to her.

"Tired?" He asked kissing her quickly on the lips.

"Yes, but I should start making some food for Thanksgiving. I don't think I can get it all done tomorrow. Although this kitchen might make it easier." She looked up at him. "You spent a lot of time with the movers."

"Yeah most things are moved. Rest will be finished up tomorrow. I have a question though." He took her hand and walked her to his living room where there was a box sitting by his couch. He sat her down and opened the box to reveal her notebooks. Lots of notebooks, every one of them looked exactly the same.

"Oh. So, you found the compartment in my headboard?" Julie said looking down at the notebooks.

"Yes, sneaky. I always thought you had the same notebook, but apparently, you've been doing this for a long time." He said looking at her.

"Did you read them?" She asked still staring at the books.

"No, I thought about it, but I figured since you're so secretive about it, I shouldn't. I would really like too though. How long have you been doing this?" He asked.

"For as long as I can remember." She said closing the box back up.

"Why are you so secretive about it?" He asked watching her take the box and putting it by the door.

"Harry, by now you should know everything is complicated." She said sitting back down next to him and laying her head on his shoulder.

He put his arm around her and automatically kissed her head. "I know, but this seems like such a big part of you. Of who you are and I really want to be a part of all of you."

She picked her head up, turned towards him and took his hands. "I will talk to you a little more about this after Thanksgiving. I promise. But I need this one thing Harry. It's the only thing I have left that's mine. I know that probably doesn't make much sense to you, but you and Panda have made me talk about everything, made me share everything. I feel completely exposed and that's extremely hard for me. I need to know I have at least one thing I still have for myself. One thing I know I always have and can always rely on."

"It makes sense to write things down, have private thoughts. I keep a journal also, separate from everything else. But this is more than that, isn't it? It's more creative than just thoughts, isn't it? I've felt it since you gave Amanda her birthday poem. I don't want you to feel that way though. I don't want you to think you have to hide something in order for it not to hurt you. I want you to believe that I would support and be proud of anything that you do." Harry said. "I'm not going to lie it kind of hurts you don't trust me. That you would think I wouldn't encourage it."

"It's not that Harry. It's so personal. No matter what format it's written in. It's everything, good and bad. I know I wrote the poem for Panda on her birthday, and shared it, but this is a lot more than that. It's not just random poems. This really isn't about you and I. I'm sorry, really, I am, but I just can't open that up. I just can't." She looked down at their hands. "I don't want to argue with you or cause any tension. We don't get much time together. But please, just don't push this right now. Please?"

He wanted her to show him, to open it up to him. He wanted her to share everything with him, but he did understand. It was her safety. She held everything so close to her so she wouldn't lose everything if things went bad. She didn't know any better. Still hurt, but he did understand. "I hate it, I really hate it. Not so much your journal thoughts, but the other things. Your creativity and all. But I understand. Just know when you're ready I can't wait to see that part of you." He had a feeling that was going to be the only way he would know everything about her. It was tough knowing she wasn't willing to share it all with him. He had to remember though it's only been three months. Seemed like so much longer but it wasn't. It would be a short time in a normal relationship but with everything she's already shared it really was a lot to ask.

"Thank you. I am sorry it hurts you. I really don't want to hurt you." She kept looking at their hands.

He took one hand from her and lifted her chin, and when she slowly raised her eyes to his, he looked into them. "I know you don't. Thank you for explaining and not just running and pushing me away. Do you want to just stay here tonight? That way you can just get started right away in the morning?" He asked.

"You mean right now? Because I swear I'm not going to get everything done the way it is." She said.

"No, not right now. Right now, I'm taking you to bed. As you said, we don't get a lot of time together and I've missed you for weeks and I'm not wasting anytime we have alone." He stood up and pulled her with him. When he saw her bite her bottom lip, and her eyes fill with tears he asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Seriously, nothing and that's really, really, really overwhelming. I'm scared. It really scares me when everything seems good. I don't know how I managed to find someone like you. And I don't mean One Direction Harry Styles, I just mean my super sensitive, super understanding, crazy, funny, amazing Harry." She said as she followed him slowly to his room. "I almost wish it was just you and me for Thanksgiving."

"You, being so sweet, still freaks me out a little." He laughed. "But it's just us right now."

"Why are you crying now?" She laughed through her tears.

"You, they aren't sad tears. We've gone through a lot already but I feel extremely lucky that you chose to open up to me." He pulled her close to him.

"I'm the lucky one, I'm extremely grateful that you chose to stay instead of jumping in the ocean and swimming away, when I told you about the craziness." She started to unbutton his shirt.

"That would have been a long swim." He laughed when she pinched him but continued to unbutton his shirt. "We all have pasts. I wish yours was different, but it wasn't. All we can do is make it better." He picked her up around the waist and took her to bed.

Harry woke up the next morning and made his way to the kitchen. Julie wasn't in bed, but he could hear her in the kitchen. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. "Um, how am I supposed to keep my hands off you, and let you cook, when you look like that?" He looked at her standing on her toes, reaching into the cupboard in just his t-shirt.

She brought what she needed down, put it on the counter and smiled at him. "I'm waiting for my clothes to dry, I washed them this morning since I didn't bring a change of clothes. You have no choice; I got a million things to do today, since you invited the world to Thanksgiving tomorrow."

"I'm starting to regret that right about now." He walked up behind her and put his hands on her hips. He leaned down and kissed the side of her neck.

"Harry, I mean it." She turned and pushed him away. "I have to do this. You're just going to have to behave until after."

"We can just order it all cooked and have it delivered." He walked back up behind her, he reached around and tried to run his hand up her thigh and under the shirt.

She stopped his hand. "I know we could, but this is important to me. It's important. I've always loved Thanksgiving dinner. I love that it's home cooked. Even though I might not get everything perfect I don't want it to be cooked by someone else."

"This is killing me." He took a deep breath and then turned her around to face him. "I want to take you right here, right now." He laughed at how uncomfortable him saying that made her. "But it sounds great having you make Thanksgiving dinner. I'm going to take a cold shower, a very cold shower and then go meet Niall and finish moving everything. Is Amanda coming here?"

"I think so." She said looking up at him and put her hands on his chest.

He ran his hands over her butt. "You really are killing me right now." He kissed her and then deepened the kiss. He then rested his forehead on hers with his eyes closed. "Seriously want you." He whispered to her.

She bit the inside of her lip, walked quickly over to the fridge and took a few things out and turned on the oven. "Well, the oven has to preheat, and things have to thaw. I guess I have a few minutes." She said backing towards his room.

"Oh, this will be so much better than a cold shower." He hurried towards her, grabbed her around the waist, pulled her to him, and they barely made it back to the bed.

Harry walked back into the kitchen after he was showered and dressed. "Thank goodness you are in your clothes now." He laughed.

"Just stay away, I seriously need to get things going. Least you have a massive kitchen and can cook more than one thing at a time." She looked at him. "Not that I'm complaining about earlier."

"Oh, no complaints here either." He leaned over the counter and stole a kiss. "I love waking up and seeing you first thing. Hope it happens lots more."

"You know with your schedule it can't. But I know what you mean." She kept prepping things.

Harry stole one more kiss, and when he heard the doorbell, he figured it was Amanda. "I will go let Amanda in and meet Niall. I will see you tonight. Love you, baby."

"Love you too. See you soon." She said as she turned and went back to the fridge.

Amanda walked in. "Wow, it smells amazing in here already."

"I've just started some desserts. I'm not really sure how much to make since we don't even really know who or how many are going to be here." She started cutting up apples for apple pies.

"Yeah Niall didn't really specify who was coming either, guess I didn't bother asking." She said walking around the counter. "So, what can I help with?"

"There's some recipes over by the fridge for a few other desserts. Take your pick. Desserts and everything that stays cold can be made today and there are a few things that can be prepped to bake tomorrow. Harry also ordered a huge turkey so I'm super glad he has 2 ovens. I'm super nervous about this, but it also feels good to be making it. Weird, right?" Julie asked.

"Not really. It's nice to be "home", I mean I know it's Harry's home, but it's basically home. Nice having it "normal" in a way. You know what I mean." Amanda said looking through everything. "Man, this is a lot. But I guess 10-12 or so people is a lot of people." She shook her head. "They could have asked." She laughed.

"Yeah I told Harry I wished it was just the 2 of us. But guess if this is what they want than it's ok." She put the apples into the pie crust.

"Not even me and Niall?" Amanda asked laughing. "I see how it is."

"Yeah, I don't know. Everything is just always so busy and so chaotic when we're together usually. I just thought some time alone would basically give us confirmation of our relationship, or something like that." Julie said. "It's hard to explain."

"You still have doubts? Really?" Amanda asked.

"Not really doubts. We just haven't had a time where something didn't get in the way. The first time we were basically trying, was after Vegas, and we know that wasn't normal, then Paris, but we know what happened there. I'm just waiting for the time when we're together; without something blowing up in our face." She said.

"Seems to me if you can get through all that, it should be the only confirmation you need." Amanda told her.

"Yeah, but something tells me he thrives on being a savior of sorts. He likes to save me. What happens when I no longer need to be saved?" She said putting the pies into the oven.

"Oh, stop worrying." Amanda said to her. "Just be happy you guys are together."

"I am. Really I am. I just told him I couldn't believe how lucky I got with him. Things are just too good. I'm not comfortable with that." Julie said.
Amanda laughed. "Yeah I can see how that would make you uncomfortable. But it's where you want to be, trust me."

Later on, that evening, Amanda and Julie were still working hard in the kitchen but they accomplished a lot of what they wanted. "It's getting late I can't believe they aren't back yet." Julie said. "I'm exhausted. And to think tomorrow we have to do this again." She laughed.

"Ugh I know, I don't think I want to even think about food anymore." Amanda laughed.

"Yeah, but I'm starving." Julie laughed. "All this food and we haven't even eaten. Maybe the boys will bring some dinner."

"Babe!" The girls heard Harry call out from the foyer. "We're here."

Julie and Amanda grabbed a towel and wiped their hands as they walked towards them. "It's about time, we're so hungry did you bring dinner?" Julie asked.

"No, you've been around food all day, why didn't you eat?" Niall asked.

"Because we've been around food all day." Julie laughed.

"Dammit JJ." Amanda said as JJ stopped in her tracks and she ran right into her back, but then Amanda saw it too. Both her and JJ's families were standing with Niall and Harry. They both gasped and neither moved. They were completely surprised and in shock. After a couple of minutes, they looked at each other, threw the towels they had at the guys, and ran up and hugged their mom's first.

"I can't believe you guys flew all the way out here!" Julie said. "I can't believe he got you on an airplane. I haven't been able to get you on an airplane."

"He's very convincing," Donna, Julie's mom said. "Tickets in first class and a driver to and from the airport. Plus, a personal pick up here. How can one argue with that?"

Julie looked back at Harry. "Yeah, you can't really argue with him. Although if you ask him he will probably say I try to too much."

"I don't think I have to ask him. Pretty sure I know that about you already." She said.

"Come on let me show you guys around and to your rooms." Harry said to Julie's mom, step-dad Tom, brother Michael and her brother's girlfriend Katie.

"I can't believe you guys didn't tell me!" Amanda said after she hugged everyone.

"Niall was very specific that it be a surprise." Sue, Amanda's mom said. "I think it's brilliant. It's great to be able to see you on Thanksgiving."

"I'm so excited!" Amanda said starting to cry. "It's so overwhelming."

"Should have known you would start to cry." Amanda's mom laughed at her. "I'm glad we could surprise you."

Niall addressed Amanda, Sue, Amanda's brother Jay and his wife. "We will order some dinner and then take you back to my house for the night."

Everyone sat down to dinner and conversation was plentiful. Amanda noticed that JJ and her mom seemed to have kind of an awkward encounter at one point but nothing seemed to come of it. She also noticed JJ would play buffer whenever Harry would engage her mom in conversation. Seemed like she didn't want Harry to speak to her mom alone very often. When she questioned JJ she just said it was an ongoing struggle in their relationship. Once again, she would question her later but was going to let it go for now. Time to concentrate on the families and Thanksgiving. It was nice to show their boyfriends what a traditional Thanksgiving in the United States was like.

Amanda's brother Jay came up and put his arm around Amanda, but addressed Niall. "So, Niall, what's your intentions with my sis here? Is there something we're going to have to watch out for? Another woman in another country? The other coast?"

Amanda backhanded her brother in the chest. "Jay! Seriously?!"

"I mean I have to look out for my big sister." Jay said.

Niall looked up at Jay. He was a big guy. He definitely didn't want to mess with him. He was almost as scary as JJ was. He laughed at the thought. "No, no, nothing like that. Believe me. There is no one else. Just Amanda. I promise. Don't hurt me." He laughed a bit uncomfortably.

"Alright, but I will be back if you mess with my sister." Jay said as he clapped Niall's shoulder a little bit harder than he needed too.

Niall rubbed his shoulder and watched Jay walk away. "Ok, so he's scary. Maybe I need JJ to protect me. Why do you have such scary people protecting you? First JJ, and now him." Niall laughed trying to joke.

"Oh, don't worry about him. I got you babe." Amanda said laughing and giving him a kiss. "I won't let him hurt you."

Later on, that evening, Niall and Amanda took her family back to Niall's house. And they rested up for what was sure to be a busy Thanksgiving Day.

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment/share. I would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction