The next week was Christmas.

Harry spent the holiday at home with his family. He had to work through a lot in his mind. His anger towards the situation, and towards Julie bothered him. He needed to figure out why. And who better to speak with than his mum about the whole situation? He still hadn't decided if he was going to go back to America for the New Year's trip him and Niall had planned for the girls. He still hadn't decided what he was going to do about their relationship. Right before he would have to leave he sat down with his mum.

Mum," He sighed. "I just don't know what to do."

"I can't tell you what to do, my love." Anne said taking his hand. "It's something you have to figure out for yourself. Love is always complex. Even when it's not complicated by a past like Julie's. You knew at the beginning it wasn't going to be easy. You knew then, she was always tempted to run."

"I did. And I understood it. At first. But we got closer. I thought she trusted me. She started sharing more and more with me. She said she felt safe with me. Then she just left. With no warning, no explanation." He said rubbing his thumb over his mum's hand.

"That's not true, Harry. She left you a note. She explained. She just didn't give you all the details. She didn't have to do that. Maybe it doesn't seem enough for you, but what I would like you to do, is think about why you're really angry. Are you angry because she left and got help? Or are you angry because you were scared and worried about her? Her safety, and where she was? I completely understand how you feel. I completely get your concern, your anger. What you have to decide is if that's more important than what she did, what she accomplished while she was away. I'm not saying there is a right or wrong answer. Only what you feel in your heart." His mum said softly.

He nodded through Anne's words. He still didn't have all the answers that he needed. But he knew what to do.

Niall spent the holidays at home with his family as well. He missed Amanda terribly. He hated having to spend their first Christmas as a couple, apart. He was looking forward to New Year's Eve. He was glad he at least got that with her. He wasn't sure what was going on with JJ and Harry; he wasn't sure if it would just be him and Amanda going now instead of the four of them. Part of him was sad about that. He and Amanda discussed having JJ come anyway. He wanted to see her. He wanted to make sure she was okay, also. He talked to Amanda every day, and he knew what Amanda told him. But he wanted to see for himself. Amanda and Harry were angry, but he wasn't so much. He didn't like finding out in a letter she'd left after the fact, and not knowing where she was at the time, but he was proud of her. He was proud of her strength by going and getting help for herself. He knew she had it in her. He had always believed she was a lot stronger than she gave herself credit for. She just proved it to him again. First, by saving her life the day Johnny left her on the floor, then by picking up and moving across country by herself, and now by taking on the monumental task of getting over her past and believing in herself first in order to have a future. Niall had to find out if Harry was going with him. He had to call him.

Amanda and Julie were scheduled to work so that they could have New Year's Eve off. Before all the drama, they were supposed to meet Niall and Harry at Lake Tahoe for a ski weekend over New Years. Things, however, were a bit different now. Amanda did work, but Julie had appointments with doctors and therapists. The girls had quite a few conversations over that week about the details of Julie's clinic stay. Amanda could tell it helped her, but she could also tell it was going to be a work in progress. The thing she noticed the most was that when Julie got overwhelmed, instead of just closing up and running away, she admitted it and asked for some time to gather herself and clear her mind. She could still sense the fear, but Julie seemed to be able to deal with it a little easier. She had a lot to learn on how to help her through those moments. She learned some more about her past and some about how she was before Johnny. Those were the moments she wanted to know more about. She wanted to get to the point where she knew what JJ's hopes and dreams were, before she was turned upside down with her situation. Amanda was set to leave right after her shift ended in the morning. Before she left for her shift, she leaned over the couch and looked at JJ.

"Can you please pack? You are coming with me in the morning. It doesn't matter if Harry won't be there. Even Niall told you he wants you to come. That he needs to see you." Amanda said.

Julie closed her book she was reading for therapy. "He can see me some other time. I don't need to go on your New Year's Eve vacation with you."

"JJ, apparently, therapy hasn't fixed your stubbornness. Just pack. You're coming. It's a short flight if you feel you need to, we can always get you back home. Just be ready to go to the airport when I get home. Damn." Amanda said grabbing the keys.

Julie shook her head. "Fine, but it's a waste of a flight, and Niall's going to pay to get me back home." She reopened her book to read some more.

"So, stubborn." Amanda said again as she shook her head and walked out the door.

The next morning Julie and Amanda landed in Reno. They had a rental car to drive to the resort. Amanda was laughing so hard. Julie was so much more relaxed than she ever remembered her being. It was wonderful. Her comedic timing was always great, and she was on point. She was sure hoping it was a sign of things to come. They laughed the whole way. As they drove around the north shore of the lake, the water was so blue, clear and pristine. They finally got to the resort and pulled up to the cabin Niall had. He'd arrived the night before. It was snowy and beautiful. Snow had just fallen in Tahoe, and it felt like powder to the girls. It was enchanting.

"Oh, wow." Julie said getting out of the car. "It's so beautiful. Reminds me of winter back home. It's been awhile since I've seen real snow like this." She walked around the car and grabbed her bag from the trunk with Amanda.

"See," Amanda said. "It's a good thing you came." She closed the trunk and wrapped her arm with Julie's. "I've missed you."

"You've missed Niall more." Julie said looking around as they walked to the cabin.

"Not true. I talked to him every day. I didn't see you or talk to you for 3 weeks. And then I've been working while you've been home this past week. Just at least stay until tomorrow, please?" Amanda said.

"Yeah, tomorrow." Julie said. She walked up and into the cabin with Amanda.

"Niall!" Amanda called out. "We're here!"

Niall came out of the kitchen laughing. "I hear that." He watched the girls drop their bags and walked up to them. He hugged Amanda and gave her a kiss. "I missed you so much, Princess." He kissed her again.

"I missed you, too." Amanda smiled. "I'm so glad we get a week together now though."

Niall turned to Julie. "JJ," He said taking her hands. "You look good. I'm so glad you decided to come." He hugged her tight and didn't let go for a minute. "I'm so proud of you, my friend. Your strength inspires me."

"Niall, don't start that again." She said, but she closed her eyes and hugged him. "Don't tell anyone, but I missed you too." She whispered. She then said louder. "I hate you."

"I hate you, too." Niall said smiling. He finally stepped back from her.

"I told Panda that I will stay until tomorrow, but then I'm going back home. I don't need to be here as your third wheel." Julie said putting her hands on the back of the couch and leaning on her hands. Niall and Amanda were standing in each other's arms in front of the couch.

"You're not a third wheel." Niall said.

"Oh, I am. And normally it wouldn't bother me. But not now. Not New Year's Eve, and especially since you didn't have Christmas together. I'm ok." She said.

"No, really, you won't be a third wheel." Niall said again, and Amanda looked at him and then looked behind JJ. She smiled.

"What the hell you two?" Julie started. "Maybe I need..." She stopped as she felt arms slowly wrapping around her waist from behind. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She recognized the smell immediately. "Harry." She whispered. Her heart was ready to jump out of her chest. She took a minute as she felt him lean down and whisper, "Hi," in her ear. She turned around and jumped into his arms. She didn't even really see him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and her legs around his waist, and just held onto him tightly. She buried her face between his neck and his shoulder, and the tears flowed over her cheeks. She couldn't say anything.

Harry closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tightly around her when she jumped into them. He never expected a reaction like that from her. She definitely had a different aura about her. He held her tightly. He didn't want to let go either. He knew the moment he saw her walking up the walk, through the window, that he'd made the right decision in coming here. They needed to talk. He wasn't quite over the hurt, or the pain, or the anger, but he loved her. The moment he laid eyes on her again, he knew he still wanted her in his life. That he still loved her. When she pulled back a little, just enough to look at his face and said, "Hi," to him his heart jumped. He laughed when she buried herself back into him. "Hey, baby. Think you may wanna get down now?" He chuckled again when he heard a mumbled, "no," in his shoulder. "Ok, we're good." He said looking over at Niall and Amanda.

"Hey, how come no one told me he was coming?" Amanda asked. "Love the surprise, but you could have told me."

"Well, I didn't want you to ruin the surprise by telling her." Niall laughed. "I figured if you got frustrated of her telling you she wasn't coming, you might use Harry to get her here. Then it would have ruined the surprise."

Amanda pushed at his chest. "Not nice."

"Oh, you love me." Niall said kissing her again.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right." She smiled and kissed him back. "Thank you for making this happen."

"It wasn't me. I just called Harry to see what was up. It was completely his decision." Niall said pulling Amanda closer to him.

Julie finally, slowly, unwrapped her legs and put her feet on the floor loosening her arms around Harry's neck. She was so surprised he was here, but she was so grateful. She took her hand and wiped at her eyes. "I'm so glad you're here." She wiped her eyes again. "I was so scared I would never see you or speak to you again."

Harry raised his thumbs and wiped both her cheeks. "I know, baby, and we still have a lot to talk about, but I love you. I want to be here."

Julie nodded and finally met his eyes. "I love you. So much." She started sobbing again. "And apparently, I'm not going to be able to stop crying either."

"Come here then." He said pulling her back into his arms and holding her against his chest. He slowly rubbed her back, and after he felt her calm down some, he stepped back and took her hand. "Come on. Let's take your bag to our room." He walked her to her bag.

"Our room?" She asked. She wasn't sure how this was going to go.

"Of course, baby. Come on. Let's go talk this out so we can enjoy the rest of the time we have together. I told you before, we can work through anything together. And we will. No matter how long it takes. We can all meet for dinner later?" He nodded at Niall and Amanda to confirm and then took her to their room.

Niall went and got Amanda's bag. "Well Princess, let's go check out our room. The bed is beautiful. And it's comfortable. I can't wait to see how comfortable we are in it together." He wiped a tear from Amanda's cheek. "She's going to be ok, Princess."

"I know. And honestly, I believe it fully for the first time. Seeing Harry was such a relief. I've watched her cry everyday over hurting him. Things are still hard for her, but she has shown so much more of herself this past week than I think I've seen the prior two years."

"I'm so glad to hear how much you think she's improved." Niall said shutting the bedroom door. "Hopefully, there's more ups rather than downs to come." He pulled her tightly to him and kissed her deeply. "Oh, how I've missed feeling you in my arms." They made the most of their alone time together.

Harry sat down on the bed, put his hands on Julie's waist, and pulled her between his legs. "How are you?" He asked.

She smiled softly at him. "I'm, doing ok. Better now that you're here. Now that I have some sort of hope that we can still try to be together."

"I'm sorry for making you question it..." He started.

"Oh, no." She interrupted him. "I know it's my fault. But I honestly had to. No matter how I got there, I needed it. I hate that it hurt you. I hate that you had to question my feelings about you and whether I loved you or not. I did love you then, just as much as I love you now. It's just..." She let out a breath. "It's just, how can I truly love someone else if I don't even know how to love anything about myself? I'm learning, it's still a struggle Harry, I'm not healed. I'm not cured. I may never be completely. But I'm learning that I deserve to have a future. One that doesn't include Johnny ruling my life."

"That's the best thing I've ever heard. I was hurt. I was angry. I was surprised how angry. But I finally talked to mum about it. She made me realize my anger was more fueled by the fact that you were gone for three weeks and I didn't know if you were safe or ok. Or, even alive, Julie." He started to cry. "The worst thoughts ran through my head when no one knew where you were. Amanda said she was told you were ok, but no one really knew. My heart couldn't handle it. If I could have known, you were safe in that clinic...." He said taking a deep breath to calm himself.

"I know, babe." She put her hands on his cheeks. "After the fact, I wished I would have done things differently. My head wasn't right before I left. I felt in a complete panic all the time, and I just kept pushing it aside. Just kept pushing forward so that I didn't worry anyone. The first few days in the clinic were tough." She closed her eyes. This was another thing she didn't want to talk about yet. Things still were hard for her.

"Why, baby? Why were they so tough? What happened?" He asked taking her hands and holding them again.

She sniffled. She tried to compose her thoughts. She didn't want to go into detail, but it was part of what she was learning. "Just, give me a minute ok? I just need a minute." She said closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths.

He watched her. He could tell she was at that point where before she would just say she'd had enough, and that she didn't want to talk about it anymore. He was surprised when instead she said she just needed a minute. It must have been something they had her work on. The instinct to close off and pull away when she was uncomfortable. He could almost see her going through her thoughts.

She opened her eyes. "I had anxiety, horribly. I had attacks the first three days I was there. Horrible panic attacks. I've had my share before, but those were so bad. I literally felt like I couldn't breathe. Harry, I promise you that if you're patient with me, I will answer your questions. All of them. But I just can't do it all at once. It was pretty intense, and it's still a lot of work."

"It's ok." He ran his thumb over her lips. "Can I hold you now?" He asked. Only because he knew she was in that deep moment. He didn't want to scare her by pulling her into his arms.

"Yes, please. There would be nothing better right now." She said feeling him wrap his arms around her before she even finished. He buried his head in her chest, and she put her hands on his head. God, she'd missed him.

He stood up after a few minutes and helped her onto the bed. He climbed up after her and lay beside her. He needed to just hold her. When she curled up tightly to him and he felt her muscles relax completely he closed his eyes again. They really would be ok. He was sure of it. She belonged in his arms. He kissed her head and held her as tears slowly fell over both their cheeks.

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment/share. I would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction