"Baby, can you come here please?" Harry asked later that night. He was sitting in bed writing, well trying. He really was watching Julie, who was trying to pretend that she was reading her book on the floor by the fireplace. She wasn't doing a very good job of it. She wasn't even turning pages.

Julie took a deep breath and slowly closed the book. She slowly got up and put the book back in her bag. She walked over to the bed and sat down. "Hi." She said quietly.

"Hi." He said. He put his pen in his book and put it aside. He carefully took her in his arms and pulled her back against his chest. He kissed her head. "Think you can talk to me now?"

"I don't know, Harry." She said playing with his hands in front of her. "There's so much running through my head right now."

"That's why I'm here, baby. Well, you know what I mean. I'm here for you, all of you. Talk it out." He said as he nuzzled his face in her hair by her neck.

"I'm just trying; I don't know, I guess to process how scary this is. I mean, I don't think I would like all the pictures and the posts anyway, but to know that one post, one picture, one person posting where we are can completely change everything, it really scares me." She sat up and turned and looked at him taking his hands. "I have you here now. And I feel safe and comfortable with that. As much as I can." She took one hand and wiped the stray tears falling from her eyes onto her cheeks. "But then you leave, and we go back home. And I know I'm not alone. I know I have Amanda. But you've seen Johnny; he's not small. And Amanda is tough, but she can't protect me. And I don't want her hurt. And when someone sees me and says that's the girl that was with Harry, and they post 'I just saw her at this store in LA or at the hospital', and he finds out. No restraining order is going to stop him." She wiped at her tears again. "And I kept pushing it away. I kept trying to forget about it. But I can't."

Harry sniffled and wiped a tear from his cheek. He couldn't stand the tears and emotions he could hear in her voice. He could almost feel the emotion. Feel the fear. "Julie, I don't know what to say."

"I know, Harry." She took a shaky breath. "Leave it to me to fall in love with a super megastar musician, instead of the baker around the corner. That small group of girls scared me. I don't know how to make it not scare me. I don't know how to face Johnny and get over my fear. I don't know how to do anything. And I hate that."

He took his thumb and wiped her cheek, holding her hands still with his other hand. "I can't make it go away,Julie. I can't take it all from you, or I would. Don't think I'm not going to worry when I leave. I will, every day. I just don't know what to do."

"Just be you. Be here when you can. Listen to me. And don't run away when I freak out. I don't know how you did what you did tonight. I don't know how you stopped me from panicking and from completely breaking down. But, you did. And part of me hates that you're leaving here and doing album promo and then shortly after that going a world away to start the tour. I do. I selfishly want you to be here to help me. But I need to do it on my own, too. I can't just count on you to shield me from it. Even though, right now that's all I want. I hate being conflicted about that. I'm so amazed by you, and your talent, and everything you do. How amazing you are and how important you are to millions of people. How you can make someone feel so good about themselves just by speaking to a camera, or giving them a hug. Or performing in front of them." She cleared her throat and took another deep shaky breath. "I'm proud I can call you my boyfriend."

"But me calling you my girlfriend causes you anxiety." He looked at her. He just realized how much that him being him affected her and her recovery. "And that's not good."

"Harry, I can't lie to you. Yeah, I mean if you weren't who you are, it probably would be a little easier. Especially for me, because there wouldn't be as much of a chance of Johnny finding me by people posting things." She got on her knees and took his face in her hands. "But I'm not willing to let you go just to make it easier. Promise me that you won't leave because you think it's easier for me."

He put his hands on her waist and looked at her, his eyes filled with tears. "I don't want to make this harder for you. I don't want to cause you this much anxiety."

"Harry, stop, please." She said crying harder. "I don't want to do this without you. I wouldn't even be healing, or getting help if it wasn't for you. I'm talking to you about this because you helped me. Again, look at tonight. You took away my panic, my fear, my hurt." She leaned her forehead against his. "Don't you dare walk away to try and protect me. I can't let you do that."

"I will do anything to protect you, Julie. Anything." He closed his eyes when their foreheads were together.

"Don't. Don't you dare." She put her hands on the side of his neck. "Don't Harry, I mean it. I need to be able to talk to you, but I can't be afraid I'm going to lose you."

"Julie, how can I know that just being with me causes you so much hurt and fear and anxiety, and not do anything about it?" He said. This really bothered him. He never thought about the consequences of the public romance. He knew whomever he was with would be thrust into the spotlight; but with her past, it made it that much more difficult.

"I swear to you right now if you walk away from me." She couldn't even continue. She got up. "Don't do this! I'm opening up to you! I'm sharing my fears! It's supposed to help! It's not supposed to make me lose you!"

"Julie, calm down, baby." He got up. He didn't mean to freak her out. But he now realized he did.

"I can't do this! I wish I was as strong as Niall makes me out to be! I'm not!" She said. She felt like something was sitting on her chest. "You took away my panic before, and now I'm panicking because you're going to leave me!" She went to the bedroom door and opened it. She trusted him. She'd opened up. She had told him what she was feeling, and now he's going to leave her. She couldn't do it. Not anymore. No! Damn it! She grabbed her jacket threw her boots on and slammed the door after she walked out.

Amanda came out of the bedroom when she heard the door slam. She saw Harry quickly putting on his jacket and boots. "What's going on?"

"I fucked up. I didn't mean too, but I did. I will explain as soon as I get her back here." He said as he walked out the door.

As soon as Julie saw him walk out, she threw herself at him. "Don't fucking leave me!" She said. She could barely breathe. "Don't think it's protecting me!"

"Baby, I'm not leaving." He held her tight. Thank god. He didn't mean to make it seem that way. "Shhhh." He said leaning his head on hers. "I promise. I didn't mean to make it seem that way." Oh, he was so glad she came back into his arms. God, he really didn't mean to make it seem like that. "I want to protect you. I'm still learning how to go about this. I'm not leaving. Not if you don't want me to. But if you asked, I would. Because I love you, and I want to make sure you're safe."

"I need you." She said. "I really need you. Don't say things like that."

"I am sorry." He said. "Let's get you inside. It's cold out here." He walked her back inside and took her coat and hung it up.

"What's going on, JJ?" Amanda asked taking her hand and walking her to the couch.

Julie looked up at Amanda, but it took her a minute. This was normally time when she was ready to shut down. This was the time she had to fight with her own mind. "Harry said he was going to leave to protect me."

"That's not true. Not exactly." Harry said.

"JJ?" Amanda said taking her hands.

"Being with him is hard because of the spotlight. Things like tonight. It's going to get back to Johnny, and it scares me. I told him that. He now seems to think it would be best to leave to protect me." Julie said.

Niall came from the kitchen and handed everyone a tea. "Figured maybe we need a little something to relax. No caffeine in this tea." He then leaned down and kissed JJ's head after he handed her the tea. "I think maybe tonight just got a little bit carried away."

"I didn't tell him so he would leave." Julie said looking at her cup.

"I'm not." Harry took a deep breath. "Julie, I'm not leaving." He knew he should have reacted differently. But it was difficult for him to know that he was causing this much stress.

"JJ, each of us would do anything to protect you if you asked. I'm sure it was just hard for Harry to hear that being with him caused you problems." Amanda looked at Harry who nodded. "He's going to have a hard time with this too, you know. He's going to struggle right along with you to get through this."

"I trusted him." Julie started.

"No, you TRUST him." Amanda said.

"Ok, I trust him, and so I told him what my worst fears are, and then he gives me another one. Now, I'm scared more than anything that I'm going to lose him." Julie said looking into her tea cup.

Amanda looked at Harry again. She could tell his heart was in pieces. He didn't mean to make it worse. "He's scared he's hurting you more than he's helping. JJ, you have to try and help him too. He's not sure, just like I'm not sure, the best way to do that."

To their surprise, she just nodded. They all looked at each other when she just kept nodding. "You're right." She said. "I'm sorry." She set the tea cup on the table and got up. "I'm sorry." She walked over to Harry and looked up at him. "Can you forgive me, again?"

Harry gave her a shocked look. "Forgive you? Baby," he pulled her into his arms, "there is nothing to forgive. We had a misunderstanding. Sweetheart, I promise it's ok. Let's go to bed. Tomorrow is a big day and a big night." He never let her go as they walked back to the bedroom. He was still shocked she'd stopped herself from running and that she had thrown herself back at him. He kept realizing how much she was letting him in. He had to learn to be more careful with how he reacted. He would do anything to protect her. But he wasn't going to leave her unless she wanted him to. Not when she was doing so well with things so quickly. He wanted to believe he was a part of that. When she apologized to him one more time as they climbed into bed, he brushed it off again. She didn't need to. They had gotten through a lot. She had opened up a lot. He would continue to learn. It was all ok. When she curled up next to him in bed, he was relieved. She didn't shut herself off. She didn't go to her "safe place". She didn't pull away. All progress. He closed his eyes when he felt her relax lying on his chest. No, he wasn't going to leave. Not unless she asked him to.

Niall helped Amanda back into bed. "You ok?" He climbed in beside her.

"Yeah, I just feel bad for Harry. I know he didn't mean what JJ thought he meant." Amanda said lying next to Niall. "But I also understand her being scared that he was going to leave. I would do the same thing if I thought it would protect her."

"Yeah, I know. And like we've discussed before, just you and I together could cause her issues since you two are so close. We would do anything to protect her." He kissed her head.

"I like seeing her tell him she needs him. I like seeing her believe they should be together. It's just so soon. I think part of her wants to go back to what she knew before. And part of her struggles to use what she's learned. I imagine this won't be the last time there's issues she doesn't quite understand." Amanda said closing her eyes.

"I imagine not, my love." He leaned his head on hers and closed his eyes. "Which is why we will always be there to talk her off the ledge. Goodnight, my beautiful Princess."

"Goodnight, my Prince." Amanda said. Yes, someone would always be there to talk JJ off the ledge. God, she hoped it would get easier as time went on. She did understand both Harry's and JJ's points. She was so glad Harry loved JJ as much as he did. She was also happy with how JJ handled her hurt. How she hadn't run. She'd watched out the window when JJ threw herself at Harry when he walked out the door. Maybe her friend would use that massive heart she had from now on. She could only hope. She finally fell asleep still contemplating the night.

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*the story is complete fan fiction