The next day, Julie was still emotionally exhausted.  It was so much easier to hide everything.  She was trying not to though.  She didn't want to get up.  Today was New Year's Eve.  They were treating it like a combination of Christmas and New Year's as they hadn't been able to spend Christmas together.  Niall and Harry were going to get them a small tree, and they were going to decorate it together and then exchange gifts.  While Harry was getting ready, Julie went in and climbed into bed with Amanda, laid her head on Amanda's shoulder, and snuggled into the covers.

"Hi, friend."  Amanda said kissing her head.  "You ok?"

"Not really."  Julie sighed.  "I'm exhausted.  All this wears me out.  And I just kept dreaming last night and waking up to make sure Harry was still there."

"JJ.  He's not going to leave, especially like that.  I get how you misunderstood what happened last night, but if you can deal with it, he's not going to leave."  Amanda tried to comfort her.

"What happens if Johnny finds me, Panda?  What happens then?"  Julie asked closing her eyes.

Amanda saw Niall coming out of the bathroom, and she immediately motioned him to stay quiet.  "JJ, I don't know.  But what I would like you to do is stand up to him.  Show him that he no longer can make you feel the way he did anymore.  If you show him you're not afraid, if you show him he doesn't affect your life anymore, he most likely will go away."

"I do wish I was as strong as Niall thinks I am."  Julie said taking a deep breath and relaxing.  She was so tired.

"You are.  You just need to realize it."  Amanda said.  She knew that's what Niall wanted to say.  "Just try to get some sleep.  We can relax while the boys go get the tree."

Niall nodded and then went into the kitchen for a drink.  He heard Harry come out.  "Morning."  He handed him a bottle of water.

"Morning."  Harry said taking the water.  "Have you seen Julie?"

"Yeah, she crawled in bed with Amanda.  I think we are on our own with this tree thing.  She seemed pretty tired.  And Amanda wasn't going to leave her."  Niall said walking to the front.

"Yeah, she was pretty restless last night.  That may be my fault."  Harry said putting his boots and jacket on.

"Harry, you both need to stop being so hard on yourselves.  As long as you weren't really planning on leaving her, I don't think you have anything to blame yourself for."  Niall said going outside with him.

"I don't want to leave, Niall.  But if things get worse, then what am I supposed to do?  She's so scared of him finding her, and I'm the one that's makes it most likely to happen.  I can't be there to protect her all the time.  I'm sure you don't want Amanda to be put in that situation."  Harry said walking with Niall down to the owner's cabin.  He had helped them with their goal of getting a tree and decorations for this celebration.

"If he's going to find her, Harry, he's going to do it whether you are with her or not.  You know that as well as I do."  Niall said.  "I get your concern.  I get you would never do anything to hurt her on purpose, but think about how much it's hurting her to think you will leave.  She trusts you.  It's hard for her."

"Why do you seem to understand her so much?  Like you seem to get her more than anyone, and I can't figure that out."  Harry said as they knocked on the door.

"Because I observe a lot.  You and Amanda are right in the middle of it.  I get to watch her react more.  It's really not that difficult."  Niall shrugged.

Julie woke up with a start and sat up quickly.  Damn dreams.  This time it wasn't about Johnny though.  Her brain was stuck on the fact that Harry was going to break up with her to save her the trouble.  This was so complicated.  She had to share her fears in order for the therapy to work; but when she did, it hurt the one's she loved.  She rubbed her face.

Amanda rubbed JJ's back.  "Harry dream again?"  When JJ nodded, Amanda sighed.  "He isn't going to leave JJ.  I saw him.  His heart was breaking.  He struggles too."

"I know, trust me Amanda, I know.  But the more I share, the more it seems to hurt everyone else.  So I'm supposed to share so that it helps me get rid of the fear and the hurt, but I'm supposed to hurt everyone else?  Doesn't seem right to me."  Julie said getting up.  "I'm going to go take a shower.  Could my fucking life get any more complicated?"  She left Amanda's room.

Amanda groaned and lay back on the bed.  Damn, this was going to be hard.  She understood where JJ was coming from.  But she also knew the pain JJ was going through was more than what she, Niall, and even Harry, were going through.  If only there was a way to get JJ to stop worrying about everyone else before herself.  Yeah, she doubted that was going to happen any time soon.  One step forward, two steps back.  She pushed herself up and went to shower.

By the time the girls were showered, dressed, and ready, the boys were back.  Julie came out first.  It was going to be a nice, relaxing day and evening, and then they were going to the New Year's Eve celebration that the resort was putting on.  Julie was nervous about being with all those other people, but she didn't want to disappoint Harry.  She needed to get over her instinct of hiding her relationship to the rest of the world.  "Wow.  It's perfect."  She said to the boys when she walked up.  "It smells so fresh.  I love it."

Harry smiled when she came out.  She looked tired and stressed, but he wanted to make sure this day was great for her.  "Glad you think so.  C'mere."  He said reaching his arms out for her.

Julie walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned against him.  "I do. You and Niall do so much for us.  I'm so grateful!"

"She's right."  Amanda said coming out.  She walked up to Niall and gave him a kiss.  "You guys are better than any Prince Charming we ever dreamed of."

The next several hours were spent decorating the tree and drinking hot chocolate.  The conversation was light and plentiful.  They strung popcorn to put on the tree and more popcorn ended up on the floor or eaten than on the tree.  It looked amazing by the time they were done.

Julie pushed Harry onto the couch and climbed onto his lap.  "Thank you."

Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around her.  "For what?"

"Not running.  I feel I need to thank you more often for that."  She leaned against him.

"You never have to thank me for that.  I still think it's an honor you chose me to trust."  He said with a happy sigh.  He was still convinced they would get through it.  The good, the bad, the horrible.  "You look tired."

She sighed.  "I am.  Can we just take a break from all my confessions right now though?  Just a break."

"Yes, love, of course."  He held onto her and cuddled with her for a while.  She just watched the tree.  As they were sitting there, he felt her relax more and more the longer they stayed there.  He almost thought she fell asleep.

Eventually, Harry and Julie gave their gifts to Niall and Amanda and vice versa.  They decided the couple's gifts should be given in private.  So when they were done, they split off to their rooms.

Amanda decided she should go first.  She handed Niall a nicely wrapped box.  She watched him slowly unwrap it and waited for his response.  She watched him pull out the personalized writing journal.  Beautifully bound in brown leather.  On the front his initials were engraved along with a guitar that was made exactly like the necklace he'd given her for her birthday.  Also on the bottom of the front, engraved beautifully was 'Love, Amanda.'  She hoped he liked it.

"Wow, Princess."  He ran his hand over the smooth leather.  He opened it and looked through it.  "It's amazing."  He leaned over and kissed her.  "It's perfect."  He couldn't stop running his hand over the smooth leather.

"I just wanted you to think of me every time you write.  Totally not selfish of me at all."  Amanda said laughing.

"Oh, it's not selfish at all.  I would be thinking of you anyway."  He put the journal carefully back into the box for now.  "Ok, my turn."  He handed Amanda a medium sized box and a small box.  He watched her closely as she opened the larger one first.  He hoped she liked them both.  The first was a personally designed jewelry box.  It was a beautiful cherry oak with an engraving of a Princess on the top.  It had 'For My Princess' engraved on it as well.  It was multitiered and brilliantly hand crafted.  He watched her start to tear up.  "Hold on Princess, open the other present first.  He then watched her slowly open the little box.  It was a beautiful tennis bracelet, once again from Tiffany's.  It matched the necklace he gave her for her birthday.  "So, now you have a place to put everything.  Because I don't plan on this being the last of things I give you."

Amanda was crying.  "Niall, everything is so beautiful.  So perfect.  I don't know what to say.  Thank you so very much!"  She kissed him.  "I can't believe all of this.  I still can't believe I have you."  She kissed him again.  She still didn't know how she'd gotten so lucky.  "I love you."  She hugged him tightly.

"I love you too, Princess.  Merry Christmas."  Niall kissed her back and then held her tightly.

Harry walked up to Julie who was sitting on the bed playing with a small box in her hand.  He sat next to her and leaned against her shoulder.  "Is that for me?"

Julie took a deep breath.  "Yes.  I want to be able to give you the world Harry, like you've given me."

"Hey, don't do that.  I know it's hard for you to believe, but you letting me love you is more than I can ask for."  He said.

"Ok, you don't do that."  She started to cry.  "Stop making me cry.  Loving me isn't easy.  Don't pretend it is."

"It is.  I will never say anything else.  I love you, and I can't help it.  So just learn to accept it."  He said kissing her lips and wiping her tears.  "Now stop crying and let me have my gift."  He tried to lighten things up a little.

"Ok, but remember I'm not working right now, so it's not exactly what I wanted it to be."  She said as she handed him the box.  She watched him open it to a clear glass bottle shaped like a G with some dirt in it.  "You have to let me explain.  There is a note, but let me explain in more detail.  I know you're a fan of the Green Bay Packers; and since I grew up in Wisconsin, and they are basically my religion, I thought maybe this would mean something to you.  When I was little, my grandparents took me to Lambeau Field.  It was every football fans dream, in Wisconsin, to go visit the field.  Somehow, they got us down onto the field.  There was some construction going on, and we got to take some dirt from the field, and my grandparents got me a glass G to put it in."  She got up and walked over to her purse.  "It's the one thing I never go anywhere without.  Since they passed away, I always have them with me."  She pulled it out and walked back to him.  She held hers up which was now half full like his.  "Now you have half, and I have half, so that when we come together we make it whole.  Just like you make me."

Harry just stared at her through the whole explanation.  When she brought hers out from her bag, his eyes started to tear up.  When she said that when they were together it was whole just like he made her, he lost it.  Seriously?  God damn, where did this woman come from?  He stood up, pulled her up and into his arms, and just kissed her.  The tears wouldn't stop.  After he kissed her a few times, he pulled her into his arms.  He looked at the beautiful glass G he was holding in his hands behind her back.  "This is the best gift I could have ever asked for.  Are you kidding when you say it's not good enough?"  He closed his eyes and held her.  "Julie, you have no idea what this means to me."  He heard her whisper, 'there's more', and he pulled back and looked at her.  "What?"

"Just, it's on the bottom of the box."  She went and pulled out a little envelope and then a picture from the envelope.  She handed him the picture.  "That's a picture of me right after we got the dirt, and then, well, you recognize the picture of you about the same age.  I had them put together.  Your mom gave me a copy of the picture."  The picture said:  'From the bottom to the top,' and 'the sun, the moon, the stars.'

"Woman.  I swear to you."  He looked at the picture.  This was the perfect gift.  He put his one hand on her cheek and looked her in the eyes while he held the gifts in his other hand.  "Your heart is too big for your body.  I will continue to try to show you how amazing you really are.  Even if it takes me the rest of my life."  He kissed her again.  "The sun, the moon, the stars.  Your tattoo."

"Yeah, there was a time where I was reaching for the sun, the moon, and the stars.  Then there was a time when I thought they were so far out of reach that I just gave up.  Now, you've brought them back into my reach."  She said looking at the ground.

"For Christ sake."  He was overwhelmed.  She didn't share her feelings often.  But when she did, good god, she was good at it.

"I love you, Harry.  No matter how little I say it, or how much I hide it sometimes,  I love you.  More than I ever thought I could love another person."  She took a deep breath she was trying not to cry.

"Fuck.  You are amazing.  I cannot top this.  No money in the world could buy a gift more perfect than this."  He meant it.  The thought she'd put into her gifts, the meaning behind them, her words.  She was brilliant with words.

"I'm sure you've done just fine.  Don't pretend you don't have the best heart in the world."  Julie said.  She watched him walk to his bag and bring over a box.  She took it when he handed it to her.

"Well, it doesn't compare to what you just gave me."  He said.  Like a full happy heart he thought.  "But I tried."  He watched her open the box to a beautiful charm bracelet.  He watched her look at each of the charms.  They each had a special meaning.  "The anchor."  He said when she touched it.  "To know I will always be there to hold you in place when you want to run.  The dove, so that you know that I will do my best to try to bring peace to your life as much as I can.  The heart.  You have my heart, you're in my heart, and you complete my heart.  And then the sun, the moon, and the stars.  From the moment I saw that tattoo on the small of your back, I knew I wanted to give them to you.  It's just the start, baby."

Julie looked up at him.  "Harry, geez, doesn't compare?  It's beautiful, and incredible, and so thoughtful."  She handed it to him and gave him her wrist.  She watched him put it on.  It was the best gift he could have given her.  She touched it with her other hand.  "Oh, I love it."

"There's room for more too.  To add as we continue this journey through life together."  He smiled at her.

She smiled back and reached up and kissed him.  "The only journey that matters."

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment/share. I would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction