Amanda came into JJ's room to get ready for the party.  She was a bit nervous herself, so she was sure JJ was going to be quite nervous.  Amanda watched JJ sitting at the vanity putting her make-up on.  "Hey, how you doing?"

Julie looked in the mirror at Amanda.  "I'm alright, Panda.  I'm glad we did the presents earlier as Harry made me bawl, but I'm good.  How are you?"  She asked looking back at herself and trying to get her eyeliner right.  "God, I hate make-up."

Amanda laughed and took the eye liner from JJ.  "Let me help you; you know you always look amazing though.  You do a good job."  She sat down in front of JJ and helped apply the rest of JJ's make-up.  She applied a little bit more than JJ usually used, but it was a special occasion and she wanted to help JJ feel as beautiful as she thought she was.  "Want help with your hair too?"

Julie looked in the mirror and stared for a minute.  "Panda."  She was amazed.  "How did you do that?"  She couldn't believe how blue her eyes looked and how full her lips looked.  "You're amazing."  She looked up at her.  "Yeah, I guess so, if you have time."

"I have time.  We can go whenever we are ready.  The boys can wait."  She said as she grabbed the brush and stood behind JJ.  They hadn't had a moment like this in a long time, and JJ had never let her do her make-up and hair before.  She always told Amanda it wasn't necessary.  But then again, she had always tried to stay out of the center of attention before.  Amanda understood now why Julie didn't want to go out much before.  "JJ, can I ask you something?"

"You just did."  Julie said looking at her bracelet on her wrist.

"That bracelet's beautiful.  Harry did a great job."  They had shown each other their gifts earlier.  They were very lucky girls.  "But yes, smart ass, seriously.  Did you ever go out?  Before, everything happened?"

Julie took a deep breath.  She knew Amanda was curious about her past.  She never shared much.  But it was still hard.  She wasn't that girl anymore.  Not the one before Johnny, not the one with Johnny, and really not the one she had been a few weeks ago.  "Not really.  I was 19 going on 20 when I got with Johnny.  He was slightly older.  I was basically young and naïve.  We had a good time at first.  Mutual friends and all.  Then we became serious.  I was with him all the time.  He never wanted me to go out without him, and when we went out together, I was basically just there."

Amanda shook her head.  "I wish I had been in Wisconsin instead of Iowa.  I would have never let that happen to you."

"Panda, you would have been what, 17, when we got together?  It was my choice.  I just never knew how it was supposed to be in a relationship.  I thought he knew.  I thought he loved me.  We moved in together and then that was it.  Once that happened, he pretty much knew he had all the power and control.  And I was just too scared to change it.  I had a lot of dreams.  I got my tattoo at 18, I wanted nothing more than to reach for the sun, moon, and stars.  I was a small-town girl with big city dreams."  Julie said looking at the bracelet again.  "I was always writing.  Always dreaming of getting out and writing for a career.  I was told to get my head out of the clouds.  Get a job, go to school, and stop thinking anything could come from a notebook full of words.  My family always thought I was too much of a dreamer, not enough of a realist.  Johnny fell right into that.  I was always told I wasn't good enough.  One day I came home to Johnny with my notebook."  Julie didn't know why she was spilling all of this.  It probably wasn't the time.  "I'm sorry.  This can wait."  She said picking up the blush brush and playing with it.

"No, it's good.  JJ, keep talking."  Amanda said brushing slowly through JJ's hair.  She wanted to hear this.  It would help her understand.  She glanced towards the door and saw Harry leaning on the doorframe.  He put his finger to his lips to stay quiet.  Amanda nodded.  "Come on JJ.  Let's hear about you."

Julie sighed.  "I guess.  I walked in, and Johnny had my notebook.  He must have gone through my things to find it.  I always hid it because I knew no one approved.  When I walked in he laughed.  He basically said 'this is the crap you write?  You call this talent?  It's a bunch of crap and thank god, we stopped you from embarrassing yourself.'  At that point, I stopped writing. I was so hurt and so embarrassed.  I stopped doing anything with writing, and I just worked and tried to make everyone happy.  After a bit though, I missed it, so I decided to do it for me again but took better care in hiding it.  Then, it just sort of became my thing.  I would write privately, and I would hide it.  No one saw it, but I still got to do it.  Ever since then, it just became my thing.  My thoughts, my dreams.  Something I always had, always got to go back to."

"I knew it.  I knew there had to be a reason you hide your writing."  Amanda tried to hide her tears.  "God, did he ever say anything nice to you?"  She glanced at Harry who was still standing in the door way but had his arms crossed tightly.  She could tell he wasn't happy.  "No one supported what you did?  No one encouraged you to do what you loved?"

"No, I didn't really have any friends left when I moved in with Johnny.  You know why that would happen.  He didn't want me to have friends.  He didn't want me to get any idea other than what he put in my head.  It was the only way he could guarantee I wouldn't leave.  People would put ideas in my head.  Like that I should be careful, or I should leave, and before I knew it, they weren't allowed to be a part of my life anymore.  I don't know.  Seeing how things go for real now, I see how dumb I was.  But what could I do?"

"No."  Harry said walking over towards them.  "You weren't dumb.  You were controlled."  He knelt down in front of her.  "You should never have had to deal with that.  You weren't wrong.  You were finding your way, and you fell into a bad relationship.  I have seen one poem, the one you wrote Amanda, and I can tell you're talented.  Julie, I would always support your dreams.  No matter what they are.  And that's how it should be."

Julie looked at Harry kneeling in front of her and smiled.  "I know that.  Now."  She cupped his cheek.  "Tonight, will not be sad though.  I'm just trying to be honest when someone asks a question.  I know it's hard for you that I don't share my writing.  And maybe, someday, I will.  But for now.  It's my safety.  It's the one thing I need, especially the older stuff.  But maybe the things I write going forward will be more of the things I want to share.  Because I have people who are here for me.  And want to do for me, and help me.  Instead of me being there to take care of them only."  Julie looked from Harry to Amanda and then to Niall who had come into the room just a minute before.  "I have you three.  Three amazing people who never gave up on me, even though I had given up on myself a long time ago.  I couldn't ask for anything more."

"Shit.  JJ."  Niall said as he kissed her cheek and then wrapped his arms around Amanda.  "You even made me tear up there.  I told you that you were strong.  And I told you that I would hate you for the rest of your life, and I'm going to."  He rubbed Amanda's back when she buried her face in his shoulder.  "Guess you did your daily duty by making Amanda cry."  Niall laughed.

"Yeah, sorry."  Julie said laughing a little.  "I have made people cry a lot lately.  But this time, I don't regret it.  You guys are everything to me.  And I'm working through things with my family.  It's just time things got better.  And it will take a long time, but I didn't get into this overnight.  I'm not going to get over it overnight."

Harry stood up, pulled her up, and hugged her so tight her feet came up off the ground.  "I don't want to cry anymore.  But by god, I swear every time you speak on this trip I'm a mess."  He set her down and kissed her.  Then he kissed her again.

"Stop.  You're ruining my make-up."  Julie said grinning and slapping at him.

He laughed.  "I don't care.  But nice transition from the sweet to the sassy."  He slapped her bum.  "Get ready, because I can't wait to ring in the New Year with you, and then start the New Year with you, if you know what I mean."

"Harry!"  Amanda said laughing through her tears.  "Really?"

"Oh, come on."  Harry said.  "I recall a day back in Florida where I walked in...."

"Stop!!"  Amanda and Julie said at the same time looking at each other.  They knew exactly what moment he was referring to.

He laughed out loud.  "Hey, I'm just saying you all know how good it is. So..."  He cracked up when Julie pinched his lips together with her fingers.

"Shut up now."  She said to him.  "If I let go you better not speak."  She gave him a side glance.

He nodded and put his hands up in surrender.  When she let go of his lips, he smiled.  "Oh, some things never change."

A bit later that evening, the boys went to the lodge slightly earlier than the girls for the New Year's Eve party. They wanted to head off any over-eager fans waiting for pictures or for them to show up.  They were impressed that there weren't a whole lot of people at the party.  They were in the corner talking to the owners whom had decided to have two separate parties.  One for those who needed a little more privacy and one for the general public.  It was still busy enough to have a good time, but not overly crowded with people, so the likelihood of any social media backlash diminished.  Harry knew that would make Julie a bit more comfortable.  They saw the girls coming in the door and take off their jackets so they excused themselves politely and started walking towards the door.

Harry smiled as he saw Julie smiling and thanking the gentleman at the door taking her coat.  She looked stunning.  She was wearing the light blue dress he'd gotten her on their first beach date back in LA.  It seemed like so long ago.  He wondered if she had the zipper fixed.  She didn't have the dress on long that night, and he wasn't sure he wanted her in it long tonight either.  He checked her out from head to toe.  He stopped to do so before she saw him.  The slit in the dress was killer.  He loved it.  Every time she took a step it showed up to her thigh.  Her legs looked longer in the high heels she was wearing.  The fabric hugged her hips perfectly, and the top showed just enough cleavage to be sexy but not too revealing.  She looked breathtaking to him.  And the change in her was so noticeable.  She seemed to step with just a little more confidence than before and that was totally sexy.  When she finally noticed him, he started walking towards her again.  "You, my darling, look amazing.  I have loved this dress from the moment I saw you in it.  But I have a secret."  He leaned down to whisper in her ear.  "I don't want you in it very long tonight."  He chuckled when she pinched his stomach.  "I can't help it.  That slit is incredible."

Julie smiled and shook her head at him.  "Harry, you're too much."  She noticed a change in him as well.  He seemed looser.  It was nice to see him not quite so worried about her.  He always tried to make it lighter for her in the past, but she could always tell he was a little tense about how things were going to go.  She still sensed him wanting to do everything he could to shield her from things, but he also seemed to realize she had a bit more control over herself.  She liked seeing it.  "I'm glad to see you happy."  She reached up and touched his cheek.  "I'm sorry I've caused you so much grief in such a short period of time.  And I'm sure I'm not done causing you grief.  But I'm good now."

Harry put his hand on her waist, and leaned down and kissed her.  "I know, and believe me, I'm ok with you causing me a little more grief.  You've been doing it from before I even laid eyes on you.  You keep being so sweet to me though, I might have to look for another sassy girlfriend."  He laughed.  "Ouch."  He rubbed his chest as she smacked him pretty hard.

"Well," she looked around.  "If that's the case I can start looking for a more understanding and accepting boyfriend tonight.  There seems to be quite the selection at this party."

He grabbed her and glared at her in the eyes.  "Yeah, there she is.  I knew I didn't have to find anyone else."

She giggled.  "Oh, the jealousy is hot."

"Shut up."  He said laughing at her.  "We can skip the party and go right back to the bedroom, and I can show you how hot."

Julie cracked up laughing.  "Oh god, Casanova, why don't we at least ring in the New Year with our friends?"

"Fine.  But at 12:01, we are outta here."  He said kissing her nose.  "God, I love you."

"We will see, Harry."  She said shaking her head.  "I love you, too."

Niall walked up to Amanda as she finished taking off her jacket.  "Princess, you look incredible."  He looked at her closely in her light pink sparkly dress.  "You look like a Princess.  This is beautiful."  He kissed her.

"Thanks, babe."  Amanda said smiling up at him.  "It's nice, right?  I thought it was perfect."

"You ready for tonight?  Starting a New Year together?"  He kissed her again and looked at her.

"Yeah, a brand new year, a brand new outlook, and starting it with the perfect boyfriend on my arm."  She said.  "I would like to say I hope next year is better than this year, but, how can I?  I found you this year and JJ found Harry and started to heal.  Let's just say I hope this year shows us less struggles then the past few months have.  I'm ready to be happy, healthy and loved."

"Well I hope you're happy, I definitely hope you stay healthy, but I can tell you for sure that you're loved.  By me, and by others.  You, my beautiful Princess, are amazing.  We are lucky to have you."  He said kissing her head.

"Well let's go have some drinks and celebrate the New Year with our friends."  Amanda said taking Niall's hand pulling him over to JJ and Harry.

They talked and drank champagne and had a great time.  No trouble, no drama, nothing in the way.  Amanda noticed JJ didn't drink much.  She had a few drinks, but she was more content just being with Harry.  She smiled a lot and held onto him a lot.  She knew she shouldn't concentrate so much on JJ, but she just acted so different.  Before JJ would have seem more closed off in the way she stood.  Arms always crossed, always leaning a bit away.  Always seemed like she was slightly uncomfortable.  Tonight, she leaned into Harry even when they were just talking.  She smiled a lot more.  She seemed like a loving girlfriend instead of someone who was always worried about what someone else would see or say.  Amanda kissed Niall.  She didn't even have to say anything, and Niall seemed to understand.  Oh, let's hope it did stay like this.  She liked everyone happy.

"Oh, geez, so it's almost midnight.  I'm not sure who my first kiss should be.  Amanda, Niall, or you."  Julie said to Harry.

"Funny, baby.  You sure are hilarious tonight."  Harry said to her tickling her sides.

"I'm not joking.  Maybe we can all kiss together."  She said wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Julie, that's enough now."  He said into her eyes.

"Yes, sir."  She said giggling.  "You're definitely the only one I'm going to be kissing at midnight, but then I get to kiss my two best friends."

"Alright, but only quickly, and only on New Year's."  He said to her.  "Maybe we should practice for that midnight kiss."

"No, I kinda like the anticipation."  She said biting her bottom lip.  "You only have a few more minutes to wait."  They started swaying to the music that was playing.  It was their first real dance together.  "Well, isn't this something? It took four months, but we've finally had our first proper dance."

"Yeah, it's nice."  He said watching her.  God, they had gone through so much.  Four months.  Seemed like a lot longer.  They had fought through a lifetime of problems in those four months.  She meant more to him than he thought possible in such a short period of time.  He had seen her grow so much from the moment they met.  He remembered the first time he saw her.  She'd intrigued him.  She hadn't stopped since.  There was so much more to her, he could tell right away.  He didn't know there was such a storm inside.  He didn't know she was fighting so hard to suppress so many bad memories.  She had such a pull for him though.  He had wanted to dive in from the moment he'd seen her, and he wanted nothing more than to continue to protect her.  Prove to her that there is still time to be the woman she was meant to be.  He was happy he'd come into her life.  And even though the past month had been extremely hard, and he'd questioned whether or not he could come back, he was convinced he'd made the right choice.  She was the one he wanted and needed right now.  "This is going to be our year baby, you wait and see."

"We have made it through a lot, Harry.  And we only have because you never gave up.  Even when you probably should have.  I can't thank you enough.  If you hadn't come into my life, I would still be hiding everything.  No one else would have been as patient with me as you have been."  She reached up to kiss him, but then the countdown started.  She smiled.  "Ten more seconds."  She laughed.

All four of them counted down to midnight with the rest of the party, and then the confetti was thrown and noise makers went off.

"Happy New Year, baby."  Harry said pulling Julie tight against him.  He kissed her.  Deeply.  He pulled back after a minute and looked at her.  "Hurry up and say Happy New Year's to Amanda and Niall.  I wasn't kidding.  It's time to get you out of that dress."  He didn't know what it was, but he wanted her back in that bed.  No waiting.

"Happy New Year, Harry."  Julie said kissing him back wrapping her arms tighter around his neck.  When he told her to hurry up, she laughed.  "Ok, but only because I want to be alone with you, too.  I don't care what we do.  As long as I'm with you."  She said shaking her head at him.

"Happy New Year, Princess."  Niall said to Amanda.  He pulled her to him and kissed her.  He wrapped his arms tight around her waist and pulled her tighter to him.

"Happy New Year, my prince."  She kissed him.  She couldn't believe this was her life.  She had pretty much given up on looking for someone for a while.  She knew she was still young, but it was such a hassle to try to find someone worth her time.  It's true, once you stop looking and once you concentrated on yourself, someone just falls into your lap.  Or in this case, walks into the hospital.  And Niall, of all people.  She was in love.  And she had the greatest man she could have found.  She smiled at him.  "I'm so lucky to have you."

"Ok, break it up.  It's my turn."  Julie said walking up to Niall and Amanda.  She hugged Amanda tight and then gave her a quick kiss.  "Happy New Year, my Panda.  I love you."  She hugged her again.

"Happy New Year JJ."  Amanda said giving her a peck back.  "I love you too."

"Happy New Year, Niall."  Julie said as she turned towards him.  "I hate you."  She kissed him quickly on the lips.

"I hate you too, JJ."  Niall said kissing her and giving her another hug.  "Happy New Year, my friend."

Harry hugged and kissed Amanda and then hugged Niall and said his Happy New Year's to them also.  "Ok, we are going back to the cabin now.  No more partying for us."  He said taking Julie's hand.

"Oh, is that so?"  Amanda asked him.

"Yeah, we're tired."  He said yawning purposely.

"Oh, you liar."  Amanda said laughing, giving Niall a wink.  "I think we will stay for another dance or two, but then I think we may be tired, too."

Julie just shook her head.  "Oh, you two.  Can we just pretend we don't know what each other is going to do, please?  Good god."  She waved at Niall and Amanda and walked with Harry to get her coat.  She was so happy right now.  What a brilliant vacation and a brilliant night.  She had been so worried that Harry wasn't going to forgive her.  The week before, after their conversation when she returned from rehab, until this trip, had been so hard.  She wanted to call him so badly, but she had known that she had to give him time.  She had wanted to beg him to forgive her, but she knew she'd needed to let him figure it out.  She'd known it was extremely hard on him, and she couldn't imagine not knowing for three weeks if he was ok or not.  She never knew she could miss a man so much.  But god, she'd missed him.  His leaving and going across the world to start the new tour was going to be extremely hard on her.  She never counted on someone as much as she had counted on him.  She was determined though.  They could make it work.  And for right now, she had him here with her.  She was going to make the most of all the time they had together.  It was a quiet walk back to the cabin.  It was beautiful, and they held hands, and everything felt perfect in that moment.

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment/share. I would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction