The next morning, Amanda and Niall were sitting in the banquet room where they had set up a buffet breakfast for the band and everyone traveling with them. Niall looked over at Amanda. "Princess, what's wrong? Are you still worried about JJ?"

"Yes." Amanda sighed. "I should go check on her."

"No, you shouldn't. She said she would come to you if she needed you. They can work this out, Amanda. You have to let them." Niall said comfortingly.

"But he was being such an ass. I don't like it." Amanda said.

"I know you don't. But that's Harry when he's angry. And confused. I get that he should maybe realize he's taking it out on her, but she seems ok. Let's let her deal with it. We can't always protect her. We can't always fight her battles. She's doing a damn good job on her own." Niall said taking her hand over the table.

"Yes, I know that. But damn it. I don't want to see anyone talk to her like that.  I realize she's an adult and strong and gotten through a lot, but she shouldn't have to deal with that." Amanda said. She knew she was being over protective, but she couldn't seem to help it.

"Well, I understand Princess. but as we've said. Harry won't hurt her." Niall said leaning over and kissing her. "See, here she comes." He nodded towards there door when JJ walked in.

Amanda smiled at Niall. Such a perfect, understanding boyfriend. She could tell he was a bit annoyed with her overprotectiveness of JJ, but he still pretended to completely understand. When Niall said JJ was coming in, she turned around and waved towards the door. Oh, did she want to talk to JJ.

Julie spotted Niall and Amanda sitting at a table in the breakfast room. She forced a smile at them and then went to make a plate before going over to their table. She knew she was going to be questioned by Amanda. She knew Amanda was concerned, but she wanted to deal with Harry in her own way. She took her plate and went and sat next to Amanda. She leaned over and gave her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "Good morning." She said as she sat back and started picking at the food on her plate.

"Good morning." Amanda said hugging her back. She watched her sit down. Really? Just good morning? "Well, how are you?"

"Good." Julie said looking up at Amanda. She couldn't help but laugh because she knew the look Amanda would be giving her. "I'm fine Amanda. I can handle Harry."

"So, you guys talked? It's all ok? He's being more reasonable?" Amanda asked all at once.

"Yeah, sort of." Julie said remembering what transpired the night before. The mind-blowing sex they'd had against the wall, in the bed, in the shower. She shivered at the thought. Yeah, they still had to talk, but she wasn't complaining about last night. He was still asleep when she left the room this morning. Amanda definitely didn't need to know about that.

"Sort of? What's that mean?" Amanda questioned suspiciously.

"It was late, and we were tired. We didn't talk about it as much as we needed too. But we slept in the same bed. So that's something." Julie said. "We have things we have to work through yet, but we will work through them. And if we don't, then that's our issue."

"If you don't? So, you're questioning your relationship now? What the hell did he say to you? And why would you let him?" Amanda questioned JJ, a touch angrily.

"No, I don't, not really. He's struggling. I know he is. He's got a lot of displaced anger, and I'm the queen of displaced anger. He's been there for me. He's gotten me through a lot." She said to Amanda.

"It doesn't matter how much he's done for you. He should never speak to you like that. And I don't even know the worst of it, I bet. If he was like that with everyone around, then what did he say to you in private?" Amanda asked. She was seriously worried.

"Honestly, I'm sorry, but that's between him and me. He's struggling, and I know more than anyone what that's like. I know what it's like to be so hurt and feel like you have no control over anything. I know how it feels when you think everything is crashing around you, and you can't stop it. How you expect any and everything to just go wrong. He's had a few days. I went through it for years. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to be patient, as he was with me. I'm going to give him time, and then we will discuss what we need to. He's an amazing and kind man who's going through a rough and confusing time. I'm sorry if you don't agree with how I'm handling it. I need to handle it though, in the way that I feel will help him most. I love you, and I appreciate your concern. But I'm good. Please." Julie said calmly. She knew Amanda meant well. She knew she had her best interest at heart; but at some point, Amanda was going to have to trust her. Believe that Julie was strong enough to handle things in her own life. "I know I haven't been very good about looking out for myself in the past. But trust me, he will know how I feel as soon as it's time."

Amanda twisted her lips. She still wasn't sure she liked it. She still wasn't sure what happened the night before. She still wanted to. But JJ seemed set in handling it herself. She should be happy about it. "Ok, alright, I'm sorry. I just worry, ya know?" She took a deep breath, and JJ nodded. Well, she should be happy. She should be excited JJ was strong enough to handle all this on her own. But she somewhat wanted JJ to still need her. Amanda liked that feeling.

Harry walked in the door. Julie had been gone when he got up. Her phone was still there on the charger, so he figured she was having breakfast. He looked over and saw her sitting talking to Amanda. She looked sort of sad. He stood there and looked at her a minute. She was so beautiful to him. Even though she looked a little rough and very tired. He remembered last night and couldn't help but smile. He felt more relaxed this morning than he had in a few days. She helped him with that. In many ways. He walked up to her and took her hand pulling her up. When she looked at him, he sat in her chair and pulled her into his lap. He knew they had to talk, had to work through things, but he just wanted to feel her close to him. He nuzzled her hair and took in her scent. It reminded him of the shower last night. "Good morning."

"Good morning." She pulled back from him a little and looked at his face. He did seem a bit more relaxed than he had before. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I'll get something in a minute." He played with the fingers on one of her hands. "Do you need anything else?"

"I was just going to get another coffee, but other than that I'm good." She watched their hands together. "We need to talk when you're done eating. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know." He looked into her eyes. "I won't be long." He helped her off his lap and then stood up. "Let me get your coffee and grab a plate, and we can go talk."

"Meet me on the roof?" Julie said looking up at him.

Her and her roofs. "Yes, of course." He watched her walk towards the door and looked at Amanda. "Yes, I know. I'm an ass. I get it. I shouldn't have talked to her the way I did. I know that too. But we will work through it. I love her." He said matter-of-factly. And he meant it. Julie was worth it. He went and grabbed some food and some extra fruit. He knew she would pick at that. Every time there was fruit around, she was always eating it. He loved he knew that about her. He grabbed some water and another cup of coffee for her. Sweet and light. He took it up to the roof. He set it on the bench that was up there and walked up behind her slowly. She was standing at the edge looking out over the city. He slipped his arms around her waist and waited to see her reaction. It took her a minute, but she put her hands on his arms. "I'm sorry. For whatever it's worth, I am sorry."

"I know, Harry." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "But it doesn't hurt any less." She turned towards him and looked up at him. "It's not you being angry that hurt. It's what you accused me of." She ran her hands down his arms but then stepped back and turned away. She walked back and sat on the bench grabbing a piece of fruit and taking a drink of her coffee.

He watched her and then smiled when she took the fruit and her coffee. He knew. He walked over and sat on the bench facing her. Her one leg pulled up underneath her facing the middle of the bench picking through the fruit. "I know I hurt you. I know I was making assumptions. I'm so confused, and I'm so angry at everything."

"I know how that is Harry. Better than anyone. I know about displaced anger, and I know it's easy to take it out on those closest to you. Trust me. I understand what you're going through. But for you to even think that I'm running around with Zayn because of some phone calls, I can't handle that. How could I possibly be doing that? I never see you. When you're not with me, you've mostly been with Zayn. None of it would even be possible. Plus, he's engaged, Harry. So not only do you think I would cheat on you, you think I would sneak around with someone engaged to another woman. That hurts, more than anything else. That you have such a low opinion of me that you think I would do that." She said quietly to him. She wanted to remain calm. She wanted to understand, but his thinking that lowly of her hurt more than any angry words he could have said to her.

He watched her face. She didn't look up at him; she just stared at the bowl of fruit and pushed a few pieces around. He knew he had been mean. He knew he had said things he didn't quite mean, but he'd never realized how it seemed to her. He'd never listened to what she was trying to say. He took her hand with one of his and lifted her chin with the other. "I'm sorry." He looked into her eyes when she lifted hers to his. "I didn't think about it like that. I don't know why I was so adamant about that." He ran his thumb over her cheek and then stood up. "I've always been jealous of the way that you and Zayn have gotten along. From that night I took you home for the first time. Watching you and him have such a connection. I could tell that night that you understood him. I watched you open him up more than anyone had in quite a while."

She watched him get up and pace in front of the bench. He'd been jealous of her and Zayn since she and Harry had gotten together? What? She wrinkled her brow and followed him back and forth with her eyes. "What? Harry, why would you...." She was confused.

"Because you pushed me away from the start. From that first night. And you never once pushed him away. Not once. And every time you interacted with him, it seemed so easy. With me, it always seemed like such a struggle." He admitted. He had never admitted this to her before. Not to anyone. He'd thought it often, especially at first, but he'd never said anything. "I hated watching it. I always wondered if maybe I wasn't the best one for you."

He was insecure. From the beginning. This realization hit her hard. She never would have guessed. Not in a million years. "Because, Harry, I wasn't afraid of the feelings with him. They weren't deep, and complex, and overwhelming. They were easy; because he was engaged, and a friend, it was easier with him, and Niall, and Louis, and Liam even. They were no threat to my little bubble. They weren't going to force their way in and make me remember my past, remember what happened the last time I THOUGHT I'd had strong feelings for someone. From the moment I stepped into your arms, the night we met, I knew you were a threat to that wall, that bubble I had established to keep everyone far enough away."

He stopped and looked down at her. "I think I get that. I think I have for a while. But then finding out he left, for good. Trying to call you all day and never getting ahold of you, and then seeing you standing at my door without me even having to tell you, and finding out HE told you. I just lost it." He squatted in front of her and took her hands. "It became too much. I didn't even have control over telling you something so important to me. I've lost control of everything, and I guess I'm just having a hard time with that."

"I know." She took a deep breath and looked down at him in front of her. "I get it." Her eyes filled with tears but she stopped them from falling. "I know you. I knew you needed to feel like you had control over something. I knew if you could grasp control over something, anything, it would make you feel less lost."

"So, you let me. Even though you knew it wouldn't fix us, you let me." He rested his forehead on their hands. She'd given herself to him last night to give him what he was craving. Control, and a feeling of being needed, wanted.

"Yes." She admitted. "We have a lot to work through, because I can deal with your hurt, and your anger. But I can't deal with accusations and unfounded blame. But I let you control last night, because I knew just that little bit could help get you back to at least realizing not everything is lost. I'm not complaining about it, Harry. I rather enjoyed the physical feeling. It was incredible, every time."

"Yeah, it was." He sat back on his feet. He took her hand when she reached for him and sat back on the bench when she pulled him up. When she turned to look at him again, he put his arm on the back of the bench and played with the hair on her shoulder. "Part of me just wishes I saw things sooner. How could I not have noticed he was struggling so much that he was thinking of leaving for good? If I could have or would have, maybe I would have been able to help, or do something."

"Harry." She shook her head. "You can't control everything. No matter how much you try and how much you want to. I learned that the hard way. You should know that just by dealing with me. Zayn struggled for a while. I knew that; you knew that. Everyone knew that. I'm not trying to excuse how he did this. I don't agree with how he went about it. But I understand his struggle. His anxiety, his fear. I lived it, for years. But I understand how you're feeling too. I had years to deal with it, and I didn't do a very good job of it. You've had a few days. I'm trying really hard to just understand that. But you coming at me the way you did, from the moment I knocked on your door. I'm having a hard time with that."

"I don't know what to say to fix this. I just want to fix it." Harry said rubbing his face.

"There aren't words that are just going to make all of this go away. I'm sorry, but there's not. At first, you scared me. Your anger, your loss of self-control, your forcefulness. But I knew you would never hurt me. I could see you knowing you needed to hold back. I could see the pain in your eyes. I just want to be able to be strong enough to deal with it all." She said looking up at him.

"You've always been stronger than you've realized." He put his hand out palm up. He wanted to see if she would take it. He was glad when she didn't hesitate to slide her hand into his. "I truly am sorry for yelling at you the way I did. I'm jealous, and possessive, and I'm struggling to deal with all of it, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry."

"I know." She got up and went and sat on his lap. "I love you, and I will try my best to do what I can to be here for you. I will give you the leeway to work through it, however you choose you need to, as long as you promise to try and speak to me a little bit kinder."

"You mean stop being a complete ass to you when you're really not the reason for my anger?" He said wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling his face into her hair. He was so relieved she'd come to him. He wouldn't have blamed her if it took her more time to be able to forgive him. He had taken a lot of anger out on her. She dealt with it better than most would have. He didn't realize he would be so jealous.

She laughed and kissed his head and then laid hers on his. "Yeah, that would be a good start. But, let's get one thing straight. You're my ass. So, let's just remember that. I love you, Harry. Even your temper tantrum won't change that."

"Good to know. I've been known to throw a few." He laughed. He may not have deserved her understanding so quickly after what he'd said to her the past couple of days, but he was glad she was still calling him, hers. "I love you too, Julie."

"Well, I hope you feel you have a bit more control over things today." She said reaching down and picking another piece of fruit from the bowl.

"Oh, yeah. But I want control like last night. Again, and again, and again." He teased her and chuckled.

She groaned. "Harry." She shook her head at him.

"Oh, but maybe not complete control, because when you shoved me up against the shower wall, it was the best feeling ever. So maybe, you just make sure you're in control too." He tried not to laugh.

"Harry, I swear." She got up and picked up her coffee.

"Seriously, you're fucking hot when you take control of me like that. Like I just want to submit to you completely." He stood up and picked up the plate and ate a bit from it. He grinned as he looked at her.

"You know, I hate it when you make me uncomfortable on purpose. You shouldn't do it." She said shaking her head and rolling her eyes at him.

"Yeah, yeah, but you're super cute when you turn different shades of red." He laughed this time when her eyebrows crinkled.

"You know, for someone wanting something like last night to happen again, you sure have a smart mouth." She said raising her eyebrows and drinking from her coffee cup.

"Yeah, but from what you were saying last night during, I'm pretty sure you'll be begging for it again soon." He grinned as he chewed.

She licked over her teeth and couldn't help but giggle and then laugh out loud a little. "Harry, my self-control is pretty good. I've had lots of practice."

He took a step closer and leaned down and whispered in her ear, even though they were the only two on the roof. "I remember hearing, 'oh Harry, please don't stop' maybe more than once."

"Damn you." She said pushing him away by his chest. He, of course, was laughing at her. "You wait and see, you cocky bastard." She started towards the doorway of the roof.

He threw his head back and laughed. "God, you drive me insane." He watched after her and when she put her hand on the door, he said. "I could just grab you and take you right up against that wall there. Imagine how hot that would be. Outside, on a roof, people right below us." He tried to mask his laughter, but he knew she was turning pretty bright red right now.

Damn him. His fucking words messing with her body. She didn't want it to affect her, but he gave her so much pleasure, always. But after last night, she almost craved it. "Fuck you, Harry." She said as she opened the door.

"Oh, I will let you do that later baby, as often as you'd like, however you'd like it." He laughed as she shook her head and groaned. She was so cute when she got frustrated with sex talk. But he meant it. Last night may have come from his need to control something, but whatever it came from, he wanted more. Especially since she took the passion so well, since it didn't scare her at all. He could show her that aggressive passion was ok. That aggressiveness wasn't always bad. Sometimes, it could be good, really good. He walked to the door and watched her backside as she walked down the stairs. "Don't forget I love you." He said as he started following her. He was waiting for it. He laughed out loudly as she turned, stuck up her middle finger, and then turned back around to finish going down the stairs. Oh yeah, he loved her. Thank god, she decided to stay. Thank god, she understood. Thank god, he had her.

This chapter is dedicated to VanessaWinham your kindness is a gift and your friendship is such a blessing!  😘😘 ❤️❤️

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction