The next day was show day. The boys, as usual, were extremely busy most of the day. They did have a couple of hours between the last interview and the show to just relax and get ready for that evening's performance. The pressure was weighing heavy on all of them. Of course, most of the questions revolved around Zayn leaving, and even though the announcement had gone out, it was something no one really wanted to talk about. By the last interview of the day, the boys felt very frustrated and overwhelmed. Each was managing in a different way. If managing is the right way to put it.

"Jesus Christ." Louis exclaimed as they were all brought back to the dressing room areas of the stadium. "Give me a fucking break already."

"Yeah. They should all shove it." Harry said running his hand through his hair. He was always diplomatic with the answers to the questions. Answering only what needed to be said very succinctly, never getting into the details. Always wishing everyone the best. But he wanted nothing more to do with it right now. Don't ruffle feathers. He always tried to follow the advice his friend, James Corden had given him – "never complain, never explain." He knew what he had to do, but now that they weren't in front of cameras or outsiders, he just wasn't going to hold back anymore.

"Come on, guys, of course everyone is curious. We knew we would get questions about this." Liam, ever the peacemaker, said.

"Doesn't make me want to fucking answer them, Liam." Harry said to him.

"I get everyone's upset. But it's not like we can change it." Liam said once again trying to calm the rest of the guys down.

Niall leaned back against the table. He was always calm, but he understood why Louis and Harry were upset. He figured Liam would be pushing his luck though by trying to calm them right now. "Maybe it's not the time, Liam."

"What do you mean it's not the time? We can't just freak out every time we're asked a question about Zayn. It's going to happen. Just gotta let it go." Liam countered.

"Let it go?!?" Harry said standing in the middle of the room. "Let it go that he just up and left in the middle of a tour? Left us! Come on Liam! Get real."

"I get it Harry." Liam said. "But there's nothing we can do. It's what he wanted."

"I don't give a shit what he wanted!" Harry said starting to pace. His anger was once again getting the best of him. "He obviously didn't give a shit about what we wanted! Yes, we talked about taking a break, but we also knew there was at least this tour to finish! He could have thought about that before he just up and left! Don't tell me he couldn't have! We are all tired and worn out. Doesn't mean we would just up and run away! That's all on him!" He had a lot to say, but he just couldn't get it out. Why did Liam think that he needed to keep the peace right now? It annoyed Harry.

"Harry, no one likes it. But it's not like we can change it. We've talked to him; we've told him how we felt. And he still felt he needed to leave. You heard his reasons just like the rest of us did." Liam said calmly.

"Fuck his reasons!" Harry said grabbing a mug and throwing it across the room. It was apparently his thing when he got angry. Throwing things. This time though it didn't make him feel any better. He picked up another and threw that one too. Maybe it wouldn't cure his anger, but it sure felt good while he was at it. He took the edge of the table in his hands and flipped it. No matter what anyone said and no matter how calm they were, he was angry and there was nothing that was going to change that.

Julie and Amanda were just about to walk into the room, but when they turned into the door Julie saw Harry on his rampage. She stepped back and leaned against the wall next to the door. Holy crap. That scared her. He actually flipped the table. She took a few deep breaths. She could still hear things breaking and people trying to calm him down.

Amanda stood in the doorway and looked in. She finally caught Niall's eye, and he came over to her. "What's going on?" Amanda asked.

Niall looked at her and JJ. "We've been asked nonstop about Zayn. Harry's having a hard time with that, and the fact that Liam is trying to be peacemaker." He looked over at JJ. "JJ, maybe you should go down to the other room for a bit? Just until he calms down." He could tell she was shaking and scared. He could only imagine how seeing things like that affected her.

"No, Niall." She took another deep breath and pushed herself off the wall. She had to suck it up. She had to deal with it. She couldn't just hide and cower. She'd dealt with him angry already, but they had been alone. Somehow this break seemed worse. She could deal with it though. She was listening to everyone else try, but they were just starting to yell at each other. It was just going to get worse. "I can do this. I should be the one to do it." She said as she turned in towards the door.

"JJ, are you sure?" Amanda asked her. She could tell JJ was fighting with herself, and she could see her still slightly shaking even though she was trying really hard not to.

"Let me get his attention first, JJ." Niall said.

"No, Niall. I'm ok. I promise." She touched his arm and then Amanda's. "I promise. I'm fine." She walked slowly into the room. The yelling and screaming at each other was hard. She hated the conflict. She hated everyone being angry at each other. They didn't need to turn on each other now. They needed each other.

Amanda watched JJ slowly walk into the room. JJ was scared she could tell, but she was handling it. Everything was just so different. She hated that JJ had to go through such a test so early in her recovery, but she was doing it. She could see the conflict, but she wasn't running from it. She was fighting her way through it. Amanda was proud of her. She had realized that she wouldn't be needed so much, but this was happening so fast. Usually JJ would look to her for encouragement and confidence, but she wasn't. She found it in herself. Amanda guessed she just needed to keep watching it happen.

Niall wrapped his arms around Amanda. "Hey, do you wanna get outta here?"

"No, not yet. Even though I can tell she will be, I want to make sure she's ok." Amanda told him leaning back against him. "How are you? I can imagine the interviews weren't very much fun."

"No, they weren't. And I'm as sick of it as the rest of them. I just don't seem to deal with it how they do. We all seem to be dealing with it differently."

"Always, my strong confident man. But maybe you shouldn't be. Holding it all in isn't going to be good for you either." Amanda said taking his hands in hers in front of her.

"Yes, I know. But we've got time. It's so new that I think we just need to let it sink in first. Harry deals with it all up front. I think I need to figure it out first. Maybe I will break down later." He kissed her head. "Long as I have you here, I'm good. Makes it much better."

"Thanks, babe, but I know it's hard. I will always be here when you need me." She said, and she meant it. She would be wherever he needed her. She wanted to be. She never thought she would find love like this. She couldn't be happier with her relationship right now. She'd never been so happy in one. She knew it was special.

Harry still hadn't seen her, so Julie just kept slowly walking up to him. He was now arguing with Louis as well as Liam. She could tell he was becoming even more tense and losing control even more. She didn't want to see it. She knew how she let him deal with his anger when they were alone. They obviously couldn't do that here. She had to see if she was able to calm him in another way. She should be able to, right? She should be able to help her boyfriend calm down, right? She never could in the past, but that was different, right? Well, she sure hoped so. When she saw him take a step towards Liam, she stepped in between him and Liam. Right, sure, let's just get right in the middle of all the anger. She raised her eyes to try and find his, but didn't say anything. She took her hand and calmly put it on his chest. He didn't look at her at first, so she reached up and touched his cheek with her other hand. Gently turning his head over and down to look at her.

Harry was angry and now Louis and Liam were pissing him off even more. He didn't need this right now. He stepped towards Liam ready to make a fist when he felt a hand on his chest. He was annoyed at anyone getting in his way, so he didn't even look down. When he felt a small hand on his cheek imploring him to look down, he finally did. Julie? When did she get here? He felt her thumb stroking his cheek slowly and gently and kept ahold of her eyes. Deep, blue, beautiful, and calm. Maybe a little conflicted, but definitely calm. After a few moments, he looked around the room. It looked like it had just withstood a tornado. She came in and put herself in the middle of the anger, the chaos, the tenseness. For him. He could feel the anger start to dissipate at least a little. When she buried herself into him, he let out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. He felt himself start to relax, at least a little. He slowly wrapped his arms around her.

Julie took a chance and buried herself into his body. She wanted him to feel her, to know that she was here for him. It took him a bit of time, but he slowly started relaxing some and wrapped her in his arms. She took a few deep breaths which in turn made him do the same. She rubbed his back slowly up and down in long strokes. She felt herself start to relax more as well. Ok, so even she was proud of herself for walking into the middle of that, with not much hesitation. It would have been easier to sit it out and let them handle it themselves, but she didn't want Harry to do anything he would regret. They needed to work through this situation, with each other, not against each other. After a few minutes, she stepped back a little and took his hand. She wanted to get him out of that room. She didn't want him to relax and realize the damage he'd done. She backed up slowly pulling him with her so hopefully he would keep his eyes on her. She glanced quickly to her right and left seeing people cleaning up the mess and saw Louis and Liam walking out the other door. She noticed Niall and Amanda following them.

Harry held Julie's hand and followed her. Once again, she was there for him, and before he knew it, she knew what to do. He felt calmer already with her around. What the hell was going on? It's almost like without her there, he was missing something. But when she was around he felt whole. He felt she had whatever he needed to keep him level. He needed to figure this out. These feelings were out of control. She took him into an adjacent room and gently pushed him down on the couch. When he felt her climb into his lap, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. He buried his face in her hair and broke down. He hated all of this. He would usually want his mum through this. And he did still, in a way, but this is what he wanted, needed. He pulled her tighter to him. She still hadn't said a word. She didn't need to.

Julie climbed on his lap and just let him let it out. It was a different kind of breakdown this time. It was like watching a mirror. She knew eventually the emotional breakdown would have to happen. It's how she used to deal. Anger, fear, loss of control, push people away, try to fight the pain, and then when that didn't work anymore, complete emotional breakdown. It's like they were reversing rolls. She looked at Amanda and Niall who sat next to them, Amanda on Niall's lap and reached over and tugged Niall's hair a little. She wanted him to know that she would be there for him too. When he took her hand in his, she held it; she then watched Amanda take one of Harry's hands. The four of them together could get through anything. They completed one another. She never felt such a part of something so important. After a few minutes, she pulled back to look at Harry's face. "Hey baby," she said as she wiped the tears from his cheeks. "I love you." She leaned her forehead on his. "You ok?" She kept ahold of Niall's hand and saw Harry kept ahold of Amanda's.

"Yeah, baby." He cleared his throat. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. You've done the same for me. We need each other, babe." She kissed his lips and then leaned her head on his shoulder. "I need all of you." She fixed her eyes on Amanda and Niall. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for any of you."

Niall pulled on JJ's hand. "We've seen. We've watched. You've gone from needing protection or strength or understanding without even you knowing it, to giving it. I've watched you since you've been here, and I've heard about it before that."

"This isn't about me, Niall. This is about us." Julie looked at everyone one by one. "Don't you see that? It's us. Take one of us away and we falter. We complete each other as couples, sure. But you take one of the four of us away, and it's just not the same. If one of you hadn't been with me the past, what, 7 months. I doubt I would be here the way I am. What I seem to be doing for Harry or anyone right now is NOTHING compared to what you all have done for me. I still don't really know how to share all the happiness, I still don't sugar coat anything, I'm not all about rainbows and unicorns, but I love all of you. Life's been.....difficult for me. But since I've meet you, first Amanda, who has shown me what it's like to have a real friend, to Niall, who has been like a rock in my crazy life, to Harry," she said looking at Harry. "Who has shown me that a relationship isn't about just making the other person happy, that it's about making each other happy. Giving and taking when the other needs it, and knowing when. You guys think that it was the therapy that helped me get through this the most, and it has, don't get me wrong. But the most help I got was from the three of you. You all and your circle of friends."

"JJ." Amanda said. She was fighting back tears. She put her hand on JJ and Niall's which were still clasped together. She could feel Niall holding JJ's hand tighter. "I don't even know what to say."

Harry took his thumb and wiped a stray tear that had fallen onto Julie's cheek. "Baby, I love you. And I know they love you too. What you think was so difficult for us, wasn't. We could see you peeking out from under your protected exterior. It was obvious right from the start with how you wanted to always watch over and protect Amanda. You played cold, and you played like you didn't care, but it was always the opposite. You cared too much. Your heart was always way too big for your body. You just built a big old wall around it. And just because you don't verbalize your love doesn't mean you don't show it. We accept you, for you. We see how you show love. We feel how you show love. You don't have to say the exact words. That doesn't mean you don't love with all your heart."

"Yeah, JJ. You're not fooling anyone with the 'I hate you's'. I'm sorry. But we see through all that." Niall said. "Maybe there aren't a lot of people who get you, but to me, it's always been very obvious. I know you may have confused Harry at first, but I don't think it took long for him to see it either."

"Ok, shut up. This wasn't supposed to turn back onto me." Julie said standing up and pulling everyone up. "This is about all of us remember." She said as she pulled them all into a hug. "I hate you all."

"We hate you, too." They all said at the same time and laughed. They stood in the middle of the room in a hug for quite some time. After the hug ended, Niall and Amanda went to find something to eat. They said they would bring Harry and JJ back something.

Harry took Julie's hand and walked her back to the couch. This time he sat her down and then sat facing her and took her hands. "I don't know how you did what you did. But I am thankful. I can't seem to control this. I'm not sure why it affects me so differently."

"I've told you before Harry; you have one of the best hearts I've ever met. Probably the best. You don't know how to deal with someone who you cared for deeply, and trusted completely, just deciding to leave. It's hard not to take that personal. But it's not personal. It's not about you. It's about him. And trust me, I know it's a lot easier to say that than it is to realize it. We all want to believe that we could have changed things if we just would have known, but you can't. Just like with me, there's nothing you could have done to convince me I needed to get help. It had to be my choice. And it was a hard choice. I felt pushed to do it. And I didn't want to. So, I ran. I ran, so I didn't have to think about talking about my past. I didn't want to tell anyone else how stupid I thought I was for letting Johnny do what he did to me."

"You weren't stupid." Harry said. He understood, but he hated when she said that. "You weren't."

"See, it's always easy to blame yourself, even when no one else sees it that way." Julie said looking at him. "You shouldn't blame yourself."

"Yeah, well I spent all that time with him. I knew he was skipping things because he wasn't feeling well, and I feel completely blindsided that he up and left. You would think I would know he was going to." Harry said looking down at their hands.

"God," Julie said laughing. "This is like total role reversal, you know that?" She reached up and lifted his chin so that he lifted his eyes to her. "You would have expected him to tell you, right?" When he nodded, she continued. "But it's not always that easy. Maybe he didn't want to disappoint you. I'm just guessing, but I'm thinking he wanted to leave before he did, but maybe didn't want to disappoint you. I may be completely wrong, Harry, but not everything has to be the way it seems. You're very good at taking the positive out of a negative. You do it with me all the time. Think of this as an opportunity. An opportunity for the four of you to go forward, performing how you love. Without a need to worry about someone being unhappy. Life isn't perfect. I think we both know that. But it brings us around to where we need to be."

Harry smiled at her. She was good with words, he always knew that. But she made him feel better just by talking. "You're pretty smart, my lady. Can you just keep talking to me?"

"Always. But you have a show to do." She got up on her knees and cupped his cheeks in her hands. "And you will show all those people in your audience why, after all of this, they should still come to every show going forward. To see you. You're an amazing performer, babe. You make people forget their troubles for as long as you're out there on that stage. You give them hope, and love, and inspiration. And they give it back to you also. Don't let this change who YOU are, Harry. That's what matters. That's what's most important." She leaned down and kissed his lips.

"Get a room." Niall said laughing as he walked into the room with Amanda and the food.

Julie kissed Harry again and then laughed. "Shut up, Niall." She turned around and sat down and leaned against Harry. "Hope you at least brought some good food with that smart mouth."

Niall threw a roll at Julie and laughed when she caught it and took a bite. "I did, smartass."

"Oh, you guys." Amanda said laughing and handing Harry his plate when Niall handed Julie hers. "I don't know how I put up with you."

"Oh, you know you love us." Niall said sitting down with Amanda on the couch again. "The four Amigos." He said and laughed.

"Yeah, Niall. Something like that." Amanda said. JJ was right. The four of them together is what made all this work. She was proud to call Niall her boyfriend, and she was proud to call Harry and JJ friends. She would have never pictured her life like this, but now it seemed so perfect. She was in South Africa with some of the most important people in her life. She was happy with everything. No matter the ups and downs. They could get through anything as long as they remembered that they needed each other. As long as they remembered to always be there for each other. She watched JJ and Harry together and saw the progression in their relationship. She looked at Niall and saw the happiness she had been looking for. Yeah, no matter what they'd gotten through or what they would go through in the future, they can do it. Together.

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*the story is complete fan fiction