Harry walked into the girls' apartment around dinner time.  They had been in LA about a week.  Julie had gone back to work, and the guys had started writing sessions for their next album.  His family had come over for a short visit, which had been full of laughter and banter, and then they'd returned to Great Britain.  The apartment was quiet and dark.  Amanda was with Niall at his place, but Harry wanted to keep Julie in her home.  He wanted her to get back to her routine and her comfort.  She had been amazing this past week.  She'd worked, spent time with him and his family every day, took a quick nap, and went back to work.  She had even taken his family to the airport for him earlier today since he'd had to be in meetings and writing.  It had been a crazy, busy week.  He walked to her room and saw her sprawled out on her bed, sound asleep.  He wanted to wake her.  He wanted to have dinner with her before he had to go back to his writing session.  She didn't have to work tonight, so he was even going to ask her to go with him.  But he didn't want to wake her either.  He knew how tired she must have been.  He sat down at the edge of the bed and moved a piece of hair from her face.  Yeah, she looked tired.  Maybe even a little pale.  She had lost some weight, and he'd chalked it up to stress.  She had gone through a lot in the past handful of months.  He wasn't around for a lot of it.  He hated that.  He had to accept it, and he knew she did, but he still couldn't help but feel a bit guilty about it.  He missed some of her gentle curves she usually had.  Her "padding" as she always joked.  He smiled when she slowly started to open her eyes.  "Hi, baby.  Sorry I woke you."

"I could feel you staring at me."  She said sleepily.  "Hi, babe."  She started to sit up but fell back onto the bed.  "Sorry, I meant to have dinner ready.  But I'm SO tired."

"It's alright, baby.  I will make us a quick dinner, and then you can sleep.  I was going to ask you to come with me to the studio, but I think it's best you just sleep.  You have off the next couple nights, so we can do more then."  He leaned down and kissed her.  "Are you feeling ok?"  He felt her forehead.  She felt a little warm to him.

"I don't know.  Maybe just tired.  I don't feel horrible, but I do feel a little off.  Nothing to be concerned about."  She took his hand and held it.  "It's been crazy, but I'm so glad you're here."

"I love being here."  He leaned down and kissed her again.  "I love knowing where you are and being able to come see you whenever I have a break and you're not working.  It's just nice to not try and find time to see you or call you.  We have more of a routine schedule."

"Crazy, but easier?"  She laughed.  "I do like knowing you're not far.  Knowing that if I ever needed you that it wouldn't take long for you to get here.  Not that I plan on having to use it, but it's just nice to know you're across town and not across the world."

"I know."  He kissed her one more time and got up.  I will go make some dinner and bring it back to you.  I couldn't do breakfast in bed, so I'll make you dinner in bed."  He went to the kitchen.  He started to make some chicken for a grilled chicken salad.  He laughed at what her reaction would be.  She teased him about his healthy salads all the time, but she enjoyed them.  He wouldn't have it any other way.  When she teased, he knew she was happy.  When she stopped, he knew he would be in trouble.  He did enjoy this.  Even though this week had been crazy, it was like they'd had a schedule.  They knew when they would be able to see each other.  He didn't realize how much he would enjoy it.  Maybe it was time to talk to the boys again.  Maybe it was time to revisit the break idea.  Life was changing, and maybe touring nine months out of every year just wasn't the best thing anymore.  He finished the salad and took it into her.  They ate together and talked a little about what would be happening the next week or so.  When she didn't work at night,he wanted to try to get out of the studio early enough to spend time with her.  When she was working, he didn't mind spending all hours of the night there.  He would make it work.  After they were finished, he cleaned up and said goodbye.  He would let her sleep.  He just loved the fact that he would be able to come "home" and climb in bed with her when he was finished for the night.  He didn't write a lot with the other boys. They sort of all went off and did their own writing and then came together.  It was nice, because he could sort of make his own schedule.  He was going to meet Niall tonight though.

Julie reached over towards the night stand where she had her phone on the charger when she heard it ringing.  She had no clue how long Harry had been gone or what time it was.  It was Amanda calling her. Julie guessed she'd had only been asleep about an hour.  "Hey, Panda."  She said sleepily into the phone.

"JJ.  Sorry, it sounds like I woke you."  Amanda said through her tears.

Julie sat straight up.  Trying to get her head cleared of the sleepy cobwebs.  "Panda.  What's wrong?"

"I....I need to talk to you."  She said sniffling.  "Please."

"Of course."  Julie said shaking her head to wake herself.  Christ what was wrong.  She was going to need coffee.  But she wouldn't be able to sleep now anyway.

"Not over the phone though."  Amanda said.  "I'm going to come home."

"No, don't, you're crying.  You're upset.  I will come there.  I'm going to bring coffee though."  She got up out of bed.  "I will get there as soon as I can."  She was pulling clothes out of her closet as she was talking.  "Whatever it is, it will be ok."

"Ok, I'm sorry."  Amanda said.  "Thank you."

"Of course, you know I would never say no.  I love you, Panda.  See you soon."  Julie said hanging up.  What the hell?  Now she was concerned.  Panda was an emotional person, so the crying didn't really concern her on its own.  But the emotion in her voice.  The way she'd said it.  Plus, she had never called and went straight to 'I need to talk'.  Julie quickly got dressed and grabbed the keys and her bag.  She left and hit the Starbucks closest to Niall's and grabbed some coffee and some pastries to treat Panda.  She pulled up to Niall's and rang the bell.  She was concerned.  When Panda let her in, Julie went and set the coffee and pastries on the counter.  Amanda could help herself.  She looked at Amanda's face and could tell she'd had been crying for a while.  "Ok, you officially have me concerned.  So, please tell me what's wrong."  She couldn't imagine Niall and Panda fighting.  Paris was enough.  She thought they were the perfect couple.  She knew that didn't exist, but they just seemed so good together.

"I'm scared."  She said wiping her eyes.  "JJ, I'm scared."

"Of what?"  Julie took Amanda's hands and led her to the couch and sat her down still holding her hands.  "What's going on? I will be here for you for anything."

"I'm, oh, geez.  I can't even say it."  She sniffled and looked down at JJ's hands on hers.  "I'm, late.  I think....I think I might, be pregnant."

Julie looked at her shocked.  What?  Pregnant?  Holy hell. Well that came as a shock.  It probably shouldn't.  Things happen.  "Did you take a test?"

"No, not yet.  But I'm late.  I'm never late.  Not like this."  Panda said looking JJ.  Amanda saw Julie's jaw set in place, and she swore she could see her mind working.

"Well, first thing, we have to get you a test to take.  Could be nothing."  She thought back, to timing.  "Had to happen when we got to Indonesia or South Africa, if it happened.  Weren't you on birth control?"

Ok, Amanda thought, this is why she needed JJ.  She needed JJ's calculated approach to her emotional one.  "I, well, I hadn't renewed it.  And Niall was a world away.  So I was going to get back to it before he came back here, but then we ran to them quickly, and I forgot all about it and didn't even think.  And, well, we don't always use back up protection."

Julie took a deep breath.  "Have you told Niall?"

"No.  I'm scared."  Amanda said to her.

"Babe, Niall loves you so much.  He may be caught off guard, but you shouldn't be afraid of telling him."  Julie said standing up.  "We need to get you a test.  I will run to the drug store and grab some.

"And how would you tell Harry?"  Amanda said a bit snippy.  She regretted it immediately when JJ shot her a look.  But was surprised how fast JJ relaxed.

"Well, we aren't talking about Harry and I now, are we?  I'm not you either.  It's different.  And before you protest, it is.  Look, I'm not stupid.  I know it's not ideal.  But it is, what it is, and unfortunately we just have to deal with that."  Julie said grabbing her coffee and her keys.  "I will be back with your tests.  Just try not to drive yourself insane while I'm gone.  Whatever it is, it will be ok."  She blew Panda a kiss and left.  Christ, this is not what Julie thought she would be dealing with right now.  But she would.  She would do whatever Panda needed.  She didn't doubt Niall.  Julie believed that he would be there for Amanda even though it obviously was very bad timing.  She tried to play off Panda's attempt at asking her how she would tell Harry.  She had no clue.  It's not something she would even want to think about right now.  It did make her think back to if she had been diligent on taking her birth control.  Julie didn't know what she would do if that were to happen.  She could barely take care of herself.  She shook her head and just went to the drug store.  She would help Amanda no matter what.  That's all that mattered.

"JJ?  You're back already?"  Amanda said standing up off the couch.

"What?"  Niall asked.  "No, JJ was here?  Where'd she go?"  He asked walking towards Amanda.  "Have you been crying?"  He reached up and touched her cheek.  "What's going on?"

Shit!!!!  What was he doing here?  He wasn't supposed to be back for hours yet.  "What are you doing home?  I thought you were going to be late."  Amanda asked trying to hide her emotions.

"I forgot something.  What's going on?"  He looked down at her concerned.  "Come on, I've noticed you've been off for a couple of days.  Why can't you talk to me?"

Amanda started to cry.  "It's not that simple."

Niall immediately took her in his arms.  "Amanda.  What's wrong?  Come on, you're scaring me.  Are you sick?  Whatever it is, it will be ok."  He was panicking now.  He couldn't even think what was going on.  There were so many things running through his head.  All worse than the last.  "Please Princess, please talk to me."

"Niall."  She said swallowing the lump in her throat.  She wanted JJ to be here now.  She needed JJ to be here.  He wasn't supposed to come home yet.  "I just need to talk to JJ."

"No, damn it.  Tell me what the fuck is going on."  He held her hands and looked at her.  "Please.  I'm freaking out here.  Are you ok?  What can I do?"

"Yes, I'm ok. I think."  She said turning away.  She didn't want to tell him.  Damn it.  Now what was she going to do?  She had to tell him.  There was no way around it.  He came home at the wrong, damn time.

"Amanda!  Please!"  He pleaded.  "I need to know."

"I'm late, Niall."  She kept her back towards him when she said it.  Things got real silent.  She turned to look at him, and he was just staring at her, lost.  "As in, I'm late, as in, I think I might be pregnant."

Niall just stood there.  Completely shocked.  Completely caught off guard.  He never would have guessed.  This was not one of the scenarios running through his head.  Pregnant?  Fuck.  Really?  Holy shit.  Now his brain was running a million miles an hour, but he wasn't able to figure anything out.  What the hell was he going to do?  He realized he was just standing there, and he looked at her.  What was he going to do?  He hated seeing her so upset and tears in her eyes.  "Princess."  He stepped forward towards her.

Amanda took a step back.  "I'm sorry.  I can't believe I was SO stupid.  I forgot all about the fact that I hadn't renewed my birth control."

"What?  You what?"  He was surprised.  Breath caught in his throat.

"It was a mistake.  An accident!  I definitely didn't do it on purpose!"  Amanda said raising her voice.

"I didn't say that."  Niall said.  Crap!  He was shocked.  He couldn't think, but he didn't blame her.  Did he?  No, of course not.

"Then say something!"  Amanda said throwing her hands up.

"I don't know what to say."  He said running his hand through his hair.  Pregnant.  A baby.  Him a father.  He was going back on tour.  He tried to do the math.  He would be on tour most of the pregnancy.  A baby.  Jesus Christ.

"Well, do you think I do??"  Amanda yelled at him.

"No.  I don't."  He went and sat at the edge of the couch.  He put his head in his hands, and he thought.  A baby.  It wasn't good timing.  At all.  But he loved Amanda.  A lot.  Why did it have to be the end of the world?  "A baby."  He said it out loud.  He needed to.

"Niall."  Amanda was concerned now.  Like Niall seemed really shocked and pale.  He seemed very pale.

"A baby."  He looked up at Amanda.  He stood up and looked down at her.

"Niall."  Amanda said looking up at him.  He just kept saying 'a baby'.  "What are you thinking?"

He picked her up around the waist.  "A beautiful baby. From a beautiful woman."

"What?!"  Amanda asked surprised.

"It's not a bad thing.  A baby created by us doesn't have to be a bad thing."  He said to her setting her on her feet.

"Have you lost your mind?"  Amanda asked him.  She was not prepared for this reaction.  She was sort of prepared for shock and anger.  But not this.  She didn't know what to say.  "Seriously?  We are not ready for a baby."

"Maybe not.  Maybe it's not the best timing.  But what can we do about it now?"  He smiled at her.  A tear dropping onto his cheek.  It wasn't good timing.  But he couldn't think of this as a bad thing.  He could get ready.  His nephew was amazing,and Amanda was great with him.

"Not the best timing???  Niall!  I'm not ready to be a mother."  Amanda said.  Now she was even more shocked.

"Well, what can you do about it now?"  Niall asked.

"Well, there are options."  She said.

Niall stared at her.  "Options?!  What does that mean?!"  She wouldn't dare think about anything other than having his baby.  Would she?

"I'm not ready for a baby, Niall.  And I wasn't ready for this conversation.  I don't know what to do!"  Amanda said stepping back.  She had never seen him with anger in his eyes.

"I can't believe you would even consider anything other than having the baby.  We love each other, right?  It's the only option.  The only option is to accept it and deal with it."  Niall said crossing his arms.  He was hurt.

"This is a lot, Niall.  A LOT to take in."  She said.

"Well then why didn't you take your birth control?!?"  He asked her angrily.

"I didn't think I was going to see you for weeks.  I didn't worry about it because I wasn't having sex while you were gone.  I had an appointment to renew it, and then we just went to Indonesia.  Now I'm late.  So, it had to happen when I got there.  It's not like you thought to use any other preventative."

"Well, I didn't know you weren't taking it anymore."  He said.  Then he sighed.  "I don't want to fight with you Amanda.  We have to deal with this.  We just do."

"No, damn it, Niall.  I can't be happy about this.  I'm sorry.  Not right now.  I love you, but I'm not ready to have a baby.  You travel the world all the time.  I'm not ready to be a mom who takes care of a baby all the time while the baby's dad is out on tour constantly.  When you leave just me, it's one thing, but a baby?"  Amanda said.  She was frustrated.

"I understand that.  But if it's already happened,  there's no question that we will deal with it.  Together."  Niall said to her.  They were seeing this in two different ways.  But he still couldn't believe she would consider anything else.

Amanda heard the door and looked up to JJ walking in.  Thank god.  She needed some back up.

"Panda.  I got the tests...."  She trailed off when she saw Niall.  She looked between the two of them.  Crap.  She walked in at the wrong time.  Well, she didn't have to ask if Amanda had told him.  She walked up and handed Amanda the bag.

"Thanks."  Amanda said as she stared at the bag.

Oh crap.  Julie thought.  What should she do?  She looked at Niall's face.  Ok, she was going to have to take control.  Time to just be matter of fact.  "Ok, look, let's just get you to take this test.  There's no reason to worry about all of this until we get an answer.  And we will deal with it when we get an answer."  She took Amanda by the arm and walked her to the bathroom.  "Panda, you have to take the test.  Come on."  She opened the door and walked her in.  "I will be right here.  It's ok.  Just take it, Panda.  You're better off knowing."  She watched Amanda silently go towards the toilet.  She walked out and shut the door quietly.

Niall looked at JJ.  He waited for her to say something.  He needed her to say something.

Julie took a deep breath.  She guessed it was time to put her new-found strength to the test again.  She walked up to Niall and touched his cheek.  "I know you're shocked, friend.  Trust me, so is Panda, and so am I."

"Yeah, I was, but it's not the fact that she's pregnant.  It's that she said there were options.  Why would she even think that when it would be OUR baby?"  He asked JJ desperately.

Julie took another deep breath.  "It's a lot to take in Niall.  She's hit with this the same as you.  I know she was hoping she could take the test before she told you.  And no, she didn't tell me that.  It's how I would feel.  She's late, but it's not a guarantee.  But imagine when she started realizing that she was late and it became very stressful.  I know I wouldn't be ready for a baby.  Circumstances right now are difficult.  You're gone.  A lot.  She's not ready for a baby, but she's really not ready to have a baby with someone who's going to be out on the road all the time.  It's not like she doesn't love you, Niall.  Trust me, she loves you more than I think you realize.  But no matter what, this is huge.  You have to give her some time.  If she is, we'll deal with it."

Niall listened intently as JJ spoke to him calmly and quietly, and for some reason, it had a calming effect on him.  She didn't say anything that he didn't already know, it was how she'd said it.  As calmly as she said it.  As matter-of-fact as she said it.  Something just seemed to calm him.  "Yeah, you're right.  Just hurts she would even think about anything else."

"Think of how shocked you were when she told you.  She's going through that.  Plus, she feels she messed up by forgetting about her birth control.  But it's on both of you.  She needs to realize that.  But it will be ok, Ni.  It will be.  No matter what.  I will be there for her, no matter what."  Julie said.

"I know you will."  Niall put his head back in his hands and sat at the edge of the couch again.  He felt JJ put her hand on his back and rub it gently.  She played tough, she played cold, but she probably had as big of a heart as anyone he knew.  She just didn't show it until she needed to.  "Thank you.  You're amazing to Amanda.  I'm grateful."

"She's amazing to me, Ni.  She's amazing to me."  She stood up with Niall when Amanda walked out of the bathroom with the test in her hand.  She saw Niall stay seated on the couch and just look at Amanda, and Amanda stop where she was.  Oh Christ.  She walked over to Amanda.  "What's it say, babe?"  She put her hand on her shoulder.

"It's, negative."  Amanda said as her eyes filled with tears.

Julie took the test from her hand and took Amanda to the couch and sat her down.  She took the test, looked at it, and then threw the test in the trash.  She walked over and took Niall's hand and sat him on the couch.  "No matter what you have planned tonight, you need to stay here and talk.  Everyone else can understand.  And if they don't, too bad."  She kissed Niall's cheek and then hugged and kissed Amanda's.  She grabbed her keys and stopped at the door and looked at the two of them.  It had to be a relief that Amanda wasn't pregnant.  But it also had to be hard to realize they weren't in the same place when it came to it.  Damn it.  She didn't want to see her friends go through something like that.  What a hard situation.  Hopefully, they could get through it quickly.  She needed them to be together.  First, to see Amanda so happy.  Second, because she needed them selfishly.  Both of them.  And it would be better when they were happy and together.

So what do you think of Panda and Niall having the first issue caused by themselves and not over JJ and Harry? How do you think they will manage?

Hope you're enjoying the story!  Please feel free to leave any thoughts or comments.  Let's talk! 😘😘

*if you are enjoying the story please vote/comment would love to be able to respond.

*the story is complete fan fiction